Defining happiness
by iconicplatonic
Summary: AU future!fic. Quinn is a senior, Rach is the new young music teacher. Q is lonely & R befriends her, which leads finally to a relationship. Q has a were!peen & gets R prego PLEASE DON'T LET THIS PUT YOU OFF! Will eventually be M for smex. More inside...
1. Chapter 1

**Alright people, this is what happens when you are either on hard drugs, or just happen to be me (not on hard drugs. Or any other type for that matter). As the description says, this is an AU future fic. Rachel is not from Lima, but she still had basically had the same life, just closer to Columbus and with different people. After taking a B.M. as a Voice student at Juilliard, and changing a lot, she decides not to go into performance and takes a year off to travel. She becomes a teacher and gets her first job at McKinley, where she meets Quinn, a senior taking her music class.**

**Quinn is still HBIC, but is lonely and doesn't have close friends, just subordinates. This is because she has ****an over-expectant family, which leads her to be much more mature than her peers, and**** a were!peen, which causes her to be afraid that no one will accept or love her with her condition, and both which cause her to distance herself from people.  
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**For those of you who have issues with the girl!peen thing, please don't let it put you off reading, and at least take a look at the first couple of chapters. I've tried to come up with a pseudo-feasible reason for why the peen comes and goes, but it actually doesn't really come into the story too much in a direct way. It's more about the girls' interaction than the sex, in fact I'm not even sure how much sex I'll be writing in yet because I've never written it before. It's going to be more fluff/angst than kink.****  
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**Oh, by the by, Glee, its characters etc. don't belong to me, only this cracky storyline. Good thing (mostly) for everyone else, not so much for me.  
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**Prologue  
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If anyone else had walked into the choir room that Friday afternoon, and seen what was in there, they would have turned pale, screamed, and ran back the way they came telling everyone else to prepare for the apocalypse. If anyone else had been the witness, they would have been strategically decimated over the remaining months of the school year for seeing it. Because on a chair, in the darkest corner of the choir room, Quinn Fabray, Senior, HBIC and Head Cheerleader of the Cheerios for four years, was crying so hard that she could barely even breathe.

If any other student had been in the choir room when the new music teacher, Rachel Berry, who was freshly out of her music degree, year of traveling and teaching course, had gone back in search of the laptop she had left on her desk, life would have been completely different for both of them. She would have gone in, spared a few moments to ask the pupil what was wrong, tried to cheer them up, and then sent them on their way. She would have gone home, graded some papers, had a bath, eaten dinner and gone to bed early enough to get up for her 6am exercise regime, and life would have continued. But fate had laid a hand; it was Quinn Fabray, the blond girl that she had noticed on the first day for having a mean streak, a sweet voice and so much vulnerability in her eyes it damn near broke Rachel's heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright so the last thing was just an explanation and a taster. Chapters will usually be about as long as this one. I will try to upload once or twice a week, but i'm already a few chapters ahead so if i have the chance it'll be more.**

**Disclaimer: Quinn and Rachel only do things that Ryan Murphy wants them to in RL. I own nothing.**

_**Chapter One**_

There was something in Quinn Fabray that Rachel just couldn't deny that she connected with; something the girl hid, apart from one brief glimmer in her eyes that Rachel caught when she was demonstrating her own vocal prowess to her first class of the year, with a rendition of _In My Bed_ by Amy Winehouse. She had sung it because one of the boys had goaded her with the old "Those who can't do, teach" comment. Rachel had risen to the challenge with the song that she had been listening to in the car on the drive in, and after she had finished and the class had applauded (and the boy had been laughed at by most of the rest of the other students) Quinn had swiftly raised her hand. "Miss Berry, may I be excused? I have to use the restroom." After she had been granted permission she didn't return before the end of class.

If Rachel had known then what she was walking towards on that fateful day three weeks later, maybe she would have turned around. Then again, maybe she wouldn't.

She entered the choir room in a hurry, juggling her keys, her phone, her purse and a pair of sunglasses, newly purchased for the bright fall days in Ohio. She dropped the keys to noisily to the cold floor, muttering "shoot" as she bent her knees and reached under a music stand to retrieve them. It was there, crouching on the floor, that she finally heard a sob and looked up, scanning the room until she found the source of the mystery noise. Her questing eyes met Quinn's panicky ones as they regarded each other across the room. She could see tear-formed rivulets running down Quinn's cheeks, and if the redness of her eyes and the fact that school had let out a half-hour before were anything to judge by, the girl had been sitting there for some time.

As Rachel got up to cross the room, briefly detouring to dump her stuff on the piano, she scoffed at herself internally. _Girl?_ she thought_ Don't' be patronizing Rachel. She's no less of a woman than you are. She's barely six years younger than you._ Rachel finally reached her student, thinking S_till, I have to be the grown-up here, I'm her teacher._ Quinn looked up at the brunette from her seated position with her jaw clenched, waiting to hear what she had to say.

"Quinn, what's going on?" Rachel reached out and squeezed the side of Quinn's shoulder in a comforting gesture. Their eye-contact broke as Quinn's calmed demeanor shook and then crumbled and she broke out in a fresh round of tears in reply to the question. Or, Rachel considered briefly, maybe it was because the blond's HBIC persona had been discovered as a fake. Rachel's mouth hung open, trying to think of something adequate to say, before sighing and dragging up another chair, settling herself backwards on it with the backrest in between her knees, hiking up her pants slightly as she situated herself. She sat in front of the girl, looking at her until she calmed herself enough to reply, or to leave.

As Quinn's breathing finally settled and she managed to look up at her teacher's face, Rachel saw, rather than the usual steely gaze of superiority the blond reserved for everyone that wasn't herself, or the curious look that Quinn had given her on that first day, a hopeless acceptance that ran so deep it looked as if a seem of it ran through her soul, like a streak of copper through the wall of a deep mine. It affected Rachel for a moment, but she shook herself internally and found her voice.

"Quinn, can you tell me what's going on?" Rachel said softly. The blond's eyes flickered to her feet.

"N…not really." She shuffled uncomfortably in her chair, knowing her answer was evasive, but unable to acquiesce.

"Not really?" Rachel asked with a dry laugh. "That's not exactly an answer Quinn." She paused and thought for a moment, trying to remember high school and what she had felt in those days, so she had some idea of how to carry on. "It's OK if you don't want to talk to me about what's going on Quinn, but I want to help if I can. I can't exactly believe that it's nothing. The head bitch in charge doesn't break like this over nothing." At this comment, Quinn looked up at the music teacher with nothing short of shock. Rachel smiled at Quinn, thinking her tactic for showing the girl they weren't so different had been successful.

"What, you think I don't know that phrase because I'm a teacher? I'm only a few years older than you Quinn, I'm not a total dinosaur. I mean I know that no-one wants to think of their teachers as young, but-" Quinn cut in to her rambling.

"No, Miss Berry, it's not that!" She exclaimed, if only to silence the woman. Her voice dropped again to its previous timbre. "It's just…well, I didn't really expect you to call me a bitch." she shrugged dejectedly. Rachel's mouth dropped open again upon realizing what she had said. She was starting to feel like one of those kids that constantly had: a) had no social graces (like herself back in the day) and b) a constantly congested nose that meant they had to breathe through their mouths (because her own was hanging open so much in general speechlessness.)

"Oh, Quinn, I did NOT mean it that way. Really! I was just trying to show you that you can relate to me, you can talk to me without being judged, that I'm not one of those teachers that was born in the 50s and doesn't know what the internet is and…" Rachel supplied feebly, trailing off. She closed her mouth, looking away from Quinn and sighing, trying to think of how to repair the damage she had already done. It was then that she heard a quiet voice supply "It's OK. I am a bitch. To the rest of the kids at school anyway. And most of the teachers too probably." It was then that Rachel's curiosity was piqued. It wasn't often that a high school kid was mature enough and knew themselves well enough to accept their negative behavior. But it was familiar to Rachel; that's how she had been all through high school. She understood herself well, and she had been extremely mature, but these two factors were detrimental to her interpersonal skills. She tended to alienate people because of her blunt honesty. She had been the total opposite to the girl in front of her in every other aspect however. Where the girl was beautiful, stylish and popular, she herself had been a total fashion victim, awkward and shunned by most of her peers. It interested her that she could recognize some of her own traits in someone who was the polar opposite in every other way.

It was hearing that that really made Rachel listen to what the girl was saying and try to make her feel a little better, rather than just trying to get away from the situation. Rachel bit her lip, wondering whether this was the right move to make, before going on. "Maybe you are Quinn. I've certainly seen you act in a less than savory manner to some of your peers. But you never seem to enjoy it. And obviously you know that you do it. So if you continue doing it, but you don't really like to, perhaps there is another reason that you continue?" Quinn regarded her teacher, curious, but keeping her expression neutral. Was she really that transparent?

Rachel continued, smiling gently "Not to get all nostalgic on you Quinn, but I was kind of like you when I was in high school. I was confidant, I was mature" Quinn smiled shyly down at her shoes at this "and I had a secret, which combined to make me a less than enjoyable person to be around." At this, Quinn felt her face drop. This didn't go unnoticed by Rachel, who was quick to clarify. "Look, you don't have to tell me everything. You don't need to tell me why you feel like this if you don't want to. But sometimes it helps to just tell someone _how you feel_ period. You think that might help?"

Quinn swallowed a lump in her throat, not sure whether it was there because she was going to cry again or because the thought of allowing herself to be so vulnerable in front of this woman made her want to vomit. Without taking her eyes off the backrest of the chair that Rachel was sitting on, she gave a slow, almost imperceptible nod.

"I don't know." Rachel raised an eyebrow at the non-response, but it went unnoticed by the blond in front of her. "I just feel so separated from everyone else here. I don't have anything in common with them. I mean, they all listen to what I say because they think I'm pretty and they're scared of me. But there's not a single one of them that I feel close to. That I can have a conversation with deeper than 'that one guy on the football team is so hot. Let's go to the Mall.'" Rachel laughed at this. The girl knew herself well, and reminded Rachel so much of her high school-self it was uncanny. "I guess when it comes down to it I'm just lonely. I'm not really close to my family, my sister is 10 years older than me so we don't really have much to talk about, and she lives in Delaware anyway. My parents don't want to talk about anything that sounds as if our lives aren't perfect. Same with the people at school. I feel like any time I talk about something with some depth I'm hashing their childhood. Sometimes I feel like I'm looking for something, but I don't even know if it really exists"

At this Quinn seemed to run out of steam, and ended with a wistful sigh. She removed her left hand from her lap and rubbed her face. Rachel was stunned. She had never met _anyone _with as much depth as the girl, let alone another teenager. With this realization, and after considering all that the girl had just said, she stood. Quinn looked up at the woman, slightly startled at the sudden movement.

"Do you have to do anything this afternoon Quinn?" Rachel asked. The blond shook her head, highly confused. "Your parents aren't expecting you home at a certain time?"

"No, as long as I'm home for dinner at 7 they don't really care where I am. Why do you want to know?" The girl replied bluntly, a direct result of her confusion, before realizing that she was still talking to a teacher and swiftly adding "If you don't mind me asking Miss Berry?" She had been brought up with strict rules about manners, and she would be damned if she forgot them after all the punishments it had taken her to remember in the first place. Rachel smiled and told the student to follow her before grabbing her laptop from her desk, and her belongings from the piano, and striding off. Quinn's brow furrowed in confusion, but she grabbed her bag from where it had been hanging on the back of the chair she had just vacated, and trotted to catch back up with the petite music teacher.

They came to a stop outside the teacher's lounge, which was silent and empty. Rachel pushed the door open and entered, but Quinn hesitated at the door. As Rachel turned to a circular table in the middle of the room to put down her things, and opened and turned on her laptop, she caught sight of the hesitating girl, who had her arms wrapped around her and was looking either way down the corridor over her shoulders, as if she was committing some kind of crime. Rachel laughed internally before calling Quinn in. "Come on Quinn, you're not going to get into trouble. When school hours are over this is just another room." Quinn looked uncomfortable and shifted her weight onto her other foot, before replying "Are you sure? Once in freshman year, Jacob Ben Israel snuck in here for a dare, and Ms Sylvester shaved his head." Rachel's eyes widened in surprise at the rogue coach's behavior, but was unable to stifle a laugh at the thought of the Jewish boy having his head shaved. She also realized that although Quinn may be in touch with herself and be very mature, but she was still a kid about some stuff, one of which was discomfort with breaking totally pointless school rules irrationally. "Yes Quinn, I'm sure. If Sue comes in I'll swear blind that I dragged you in here kicking and screaming." This made the girl in the doorway smile worriedly, and her demeanor loosened up a little bit. "Plus," Rachel added, turning to the refrigerator in the corner of the room and opening up the tiny freezer compartment, "If you don't come in, you won't be able to have any of this." At this announcement, Rachel placed a tub of Ben and Jerry's on the table. Quinn raised an eyebrow with a wry smile. "What flavor?" She asked, still smirking.

"Half Baked" Rachel smirked back. Quinn bit her lip and walked quickly across the room, taking one of two plastic spoons that were proffered in her direction. "Well, as long as you dragged me in here kicking and screaming, I suppose I have to do what you tell me to. You are my teacher after all..." she tailed off.

"Exactly." Rachel said with finality, smiling. She indicated that Quinn should sit on one of the chairs before doing so herself, opening the tub and sliding it across the table to the cheerleader for first dibs, while scrolling through her iTunes movies. Rachel heard a hum of contentment from the girl next to her and looked to her left at the blond. She was sucking on the spoon, savoring the first taste of the ice cream. Although she had finished crying some time before, her eyes were still red and swollen, and she had the exhausted, vulnerable body language of someone who had been crying hard. Turning back to the screen Rachel clicked on a movie and started to explain to Quinn as the opening credits rolled.

"This is a movie I used to watch all the time when I was in high school. I pretty much felt the same way that you described a lot of the time when I was a kid. This was one of the things that really showed me how different I was to everyone else. They were all endlessly watching Cool Runnings, while _I_" she emphasized "was watching classic musicals. I don't know if you'll enjoy it, but hopefully the ice cream will make up for it if you don't. And at worst you can tell everyone that you were in the teacher's lounge and remain unshorn. I'll even take a picture of you in here for proof if you want." At this the girl laughed, loud and genuine, which Rachel took as a good sign. She reclined back on the chair and took up the other spoon, wrestling to get the hard ice cream onto her spoon without breaking anything.

As the two watched Funny Girl, Rachel, who knew every line and every step, considered the situation rather than concentrating on the movie. It was possibly a little inappropriate for the two of them to be sitting watching a movie together in the teachers' lounge, but the girl seemed not to have anyone else, and Rachel knew from personal experience that blind loneliness was infinitely worse than explaining an uncomfortable situation. That led Rachel to realize that the situation wasn't, in fact, uncomfortable. Neither one of them seemed any more aware of the other person sitting next to them than they would be an old friend. This was slightly troubling to Rachel, who had never really been able to be comfortable with people and make strong bonds quickly, but she dismissed the thoughts as the movie came to an end.

Quinn looked into the Ice cream, gauging how much had been eaten by herself, and groaning "Oh my god. Coach is going to _kill_ me! If mom doesn't first!" She rested her hands on her belly for a moment. Rachel could not believe that the girl was so worried about eating ice cream. She could not have kept a figure like the cheerleader's even when she was 18. She figured she should say something about having a positive body image, before her doubts were proven premature by Quinn pre-empting her with "I'm soooo full! You might have to roll me out!" which made Rachel laugh hard as she realized that the girl was no more hung up on her body than she needed to be. The blond put the lid on the tub and held it out towards her teacher, who was turning off the laptop and gathering her things. Rachel smiled at Quinn, saying "Keep it. I love the thought of indirectly spiting Sue Sylvester by feeding her head cheerleader food that I hear she thinks should be illegal." At this Quinn bit her lip and raised an eyebrow cockily, before she said a quick "thanks" and smiled shyly down at her shoes. Rachel stilled from gathering her stuff and took a moment to really look at the girl. In the pose that she was in, Quinn looked demure and shy. The windows let in the light of the slowly setting sun and cast shadows across the blond's face, adding an air of mystery to the girl, whilst the golden light cast highlights across her hair like a halo. In that moment, Rachel understood completely, just for a split second, that Quinn Fabray was pure beauty, both inside and out, but it made her mind hazy and as soon as she had the thought it was forgotten. The girl had looked up, causing Rachel to look down rather than meet her eyes, and said "I guess I should let you get out of here before the Janitor locks us in. It looked like you were in a rush when you came into the choir room." Rachel shot the girl a lopsided smile as she stood up from her chair.

"Of course I was." Quinn looked slightly worried at this, thinking she had been some inconvenience. "This place destroys your soul!" Rachel laughed as they began to walk down the halls toward the parking lot, drawing a smile out of Quinn. "Don't worry about it, I didn't have anywhere to be. Plus you gave me an excuse to watch eat ice cream and watch movies without feeling guilty." As they got to the steps they both stopped.

"How are you getting home?" Rachel asked.

"I'm walking. I love the fall in this town, and it's only a twenty minute or so walk. Plus it'll give me a chance to finish off this ice-cream and not have to hide it somewhere at home and risk mom finding it and yelling at me." She laughed, making Rachel grin. They were silent for a beat before she looked up at Rachel.

"Thank you Ms Berry. I did enjoy the movie"

"You did? That's good, now at least I know for sure that you have good taste!" she teased. They both smiled again.

"And for the ice cream. It's my favorite."

"Mine too. Something about uncooked baked goods just screams 'I am delicious' to me. And I've never met a woman who I couldn't tempt with it." At this Rachel's eyes widened as she realized what she had said, hoping that the girl, whose family she knew was incredibly religious, had not understood what she was thinking when the word vomit had just spewed from her mouth, damning whatever it was that made her say exactly what she was thinking without considering what would happen afterward. It was not her intention to reveal to the girl the power of the brand of ice cream that her first girlfriend at college had seduced her with, and that every subsequent girl that she herself had seduced had been won, in part, with ice cream too.

Quinn laughed quietly, and shifted uncomfortably, worrying Rachel, before broaching what she really wanted to say and putting the music teacher's fears to rest. "And thank you for talking to me. It's been a long time since I met anyone I could have a real conversation with." Rachel was saddened by hearing this, but she made sure not to let it show. She smiled graciously. "Of course Quinn. You and I have a lot in common I think, and I know how hard I found high school. If you ever want to talk to me about what is that's _making_ you feel the way you feel, come talk to me. Seriously. If you let stuff that's upsetting you keep upsetting you, you get nowhere. But I know that sometimes it takes a lot of figuring out before you can talk about certain things."

Quinn nodded, looking at the toe of her foot which was scuffing a small rock across the top step. She thanked the woman solemnly before she straitened up her spine and pushed back her shoulders, in what looked to Rachel like a well-practiced (and extremely familiar) ritual, trying to make herself look confident in order to feel it. She flashed a smile Rachel's way before saying "See you on Monday Ms Berry" and giving a small wave before walking away.

Rachel shook her head, partially in amazement at the girl's ability to put on a front, and partially to shake away the worry that the girl felt she had to put on a front. She used to do exactly the same thing herself back in school, but only at the worst times. She got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot, and saw the girl give her a quick wave as she drove past her on the sidewalk, walking slowly and sucking a spoonful of ice-cream thoughtfully. Rachel put her iPod onto the Funny Girl soundtrack and sang along until she got home, remembering her time at high school with mixed feelings.

**Please review and comment. I like to try to make sure my spelling, punctuation and grammar is up to scratch, but if there are problems, tell me so and I'll correct it. It's usually because I'm a student and left an essay for the night before it was due, then when it was finished decided to stay awake until my lecture writing fic. Also, I'm not from the USA, I'm English, but i spend a lot of time out there, which gives me an interesting perspective. It really bugs me when people write American characters saying obviously English stuff in fics (saying trainers/courgette/chat up line/tosser instead of sneakers/zucchini/pick up line/jerk) that they would never EVER say unless ironically. I have had to stop reading otherwise great fics because of this before, so hopefully i don't do it myself. Of course it's difficult to know if you are actually doing it or not, so please keep me informed so i can punch myself in the face and then edit. Thanks!  
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	3. Chapter 3

_**Thanks for the reviews so far guys, you're super encouraging. I'm writing a bit further ahead of what i'm posting, and every time i do it seems like it fits perfectly with something that i could reflect later in the story**. **It's like fate or something!**_

_**Hope you enjoy the next few chapters, they were pretty good to write. **_

_**Again, Rachel, Quinn and all the rest are not in any way my own, no matter how much i pretend they are.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 2**

In actual fact, the two saw each other even sooner than they thought. That Sunday, Rachel was wondering around the Mall, doing a little self-indulgent shopping. She had moved to Lima fairly recently, for the beginning of the school year, and hadn't really had time to get a feel for the place. She had been in downtown Lima, just taking in the sights really, for almost three hours, and had finally wandered into the mall. Deciding to get a drink and sit down for a little while, she walked into what she could only describe as the busiest Starbucks in the history of existence. Joining one of the multiple queues, she sighed, cursing her craving for a caramel macchiato. She had been to college in New York so her coffee addiction was severe. However, even the Starbucks in the city hadn't been as crazy as the one she was currently in. _Or, _she thought looking at the time on her phone for the third time,_ maybe the Starbucks in the city are just more efficient because they're used to being busy_. She finally ordered her coffee and had just spotted a some people retiring from a table, rushing around the order desk island in the middle of the shop. She pulled out a chair at the table just as she heard the scrape of chair legs in front of her at the same time and realized someone else had seen the table as well. She was preparing to demonstrate her strong-will and argue her way keeping the table for herself, when, upon looking up at her would-be table opponent, she met the eyes of none other than Quinn Fabray, whose face had clearly been adjusted swiftly into her best HBIC face in preparation for her own defense of the table.

"Quinn!" Rachel exclaimed over the soft bass rumble of voices in the café, giving the girl a surprised smile before she even realized.

"Ms Berry!" Quinn said, clearly just as surprised to see her teacher outside of her natural habitat of the school. They both looked around the crowded room at all the other standing people looking for a table. Quinn took a bold step and asked "Want to just share?" Rachel nodded and smiled, relieved, before sitting down opposite the young blond. "So, how are you feeling today, Quinn? Hopefully better than Friday?" Rachel asked, trying to break the subtle tension that was clinging to them and get back into the comfortable space they had been in the previous time they spoke.

"Yeah, I am thanks. I mean, nothing's been, like, solved or anything, but it's not bringing me down so much today." Quinn assured Rachel, as her clear eyes met her teacher's with a smile. Rachel took a sip of her steaming drink as she nodded, listening. "Good. That's good." They paused for a few moments as Quinn also took a sip of what looked like a green tea frapacchino. "So what are you doing today then? You waiting for someone?" Rachel asked, trying to continue their conversation somewhat naturally. Quinn shook her head.

"Not exactly. Every Sunday after church my mom insists that we spend 'quality time'" she said emphatically, adding the air quotes and causing Rachel to smile "shopping together. What actually ends up happening is she spends 20 minutes grilling me on my week while browsing some clothes, and then she spends the next hour and a half getting her hair or nails done and gossiping about the neighbors while I do a little shopping or sit in here reading." As she finished her sentence, she pulled a book out of the purse she had hung on the back of her chair and slid it across the table in explanation. Rachel picked up the book and looked at it.

"The Dharma Bums? I love Jack Kerouac." Rachel laughed. At this Quinn broke out into a blinding smile the likes of which Rachel had not seen from the girl once in her week of teaching at WMHS, and which she suspected most of the people that Quinn knew had actually seen less times than herself. "Me too" was all Quinn offered in reply.

"Although," Rachel added "I didn't get into his books until my second year of college, so you're ahead of me. He's a bit too existential for high school-me's tastes. I was much more of an optimist back then. Although I'm not exactly a pessimist now, just a little less naïve I guess." Quinn listened attentively as Rachel continued, and they again had a conversation that was much more comfortable and flowing than it should have been given how long they had known each other and how they were acquainted. Even Quinn, now in a much calmer state than the previous time they had talked, noticed, but still neither of them considered ending their conversation.

When Judy Fabray entered the coffee shop with her newly manicured nails held delicately in front of her, she was surprised to find that when she finally discerned her daughter in the crowd, she was sitting opposite an unfamiliar brunette girl, whom she was laughing and joking with animatedly rather than sitting on her solitary table as usual. When Judy approached the pair and cleared her throat to indicate her presence, Quinn's happy expression changed rapidly, as if she had been woken up from a particularly pleasant dream.

"Mom! I didn't realize you would be done so fast. Uh, this is my new music teacher, Ms Berry. The place was so busy that when we ran into each other we decided to share." Judy raised her eyebrow in bemusement, knowing full well that she had taken just as long as she usually took. Remembering her manners, she turned towards the brunette woman, giving her a gracious smile. Rachel stood up and offered her hand for Judy to shake. "Mrs Fabray, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"And the same to you" She offered in return. "Sorry, I would shake your hand but my nails..." she trailed of, nodding down towards her hands. Rachel bobbed her head in understanding and sat as Judy occupied the chair that Quinn had dutifully pulled out for her due to her temporary disability.

"So, Ms Berry, was it? You're one of Quinnie's teachers?" Rachel nodded the affirmative. "How's she doing so far?"

"Well, not to embarrass her, but so far I'm extremely impressed with her. Not only is she a very quick study when it comes to music, but she also has a beautiful singing voice. She could go very far." Rachel noticed a strange, hard, yet vacant look cross Judy's face, as if she was annoyed and had tuned out. Unperturbed, Rachel continued, ignoring the woman's raised eyebrow. "I've also noticed that while she may not realize it sometimes, she is a very intelligent and mature young woman." Quinn smiled as her cheeks tinged a little pink and she looked towards Rachel. The brunette flashed her a quick smile before turning to Judy who nodded approvingly and met her daughter's eyes.

"That's good to hear. I believe Quinn said that you were new to the school?

"Yes, that's right. I only moved to Lima three weeks ago. I'm here today trying to get a little more of a feel for the town." Rachel answered politely, wishing for the first time that afternoon that she could make a hasty exit. Mrs Fabray was polite enough, but everything she said and did was clearly an act. Rachel decided that she had found out why Quinn was so convinced she needed to put on one of her own.

"I see. Where were teaching you before you came to Lima?"

"Actually, this is my first job teaching. I'm originally from Ohio, a little closer to Columbus. Before I came here, I was doing my teaching course in New York, before that I was traveling around Africa and parts of Asia and the Pacific for a year, and before that I was at Juilliard."

Rachel realized that she had probably supplied too much information, enough to warrant an entire conversation with the older blond, and regretted it instantly. Her tendency to ramble had earned her the title of 'queen of TMI' from her fathers, and they were proven right time and again. Both the women sitting across the table from her had their eyebrows raised, Quinn in genuine interest, and Judy's in surprise. "You studied at Juilliard, but now you're teaching in Lima?" she asked with poorly masked incredulity. Rachel smiled. She wasn't surprised at the question, she had heard the same thing from all of her friends and both of her dads. The expression on Judy's face was clearly one of disapproval, and Rachel assumed it was because the woman thought she had dropped out or worse. "Yes, that's right. While I was at college, as most people find happens to them, I changed a lot. When I originally applied to college, it had been my dream to be on Broadway, and I was told by multiple professors that my dream was certainly attainable, but as time passed my priorities changed. I passed top of my class, but I needed to get away. I went off traveling, and by the time I got back I had decided that I wanted to teach, at least for a little while. This is my first job as a teacher, so Lima is a really great place to do it. It's a nice area, a decent school and well behaved, enthusiastic kids. I'm really enjoying it so far." The last part was said with a smile in Quinn's direction. After all, it was Quinn who had impressed her the most, both as a student and as a person.

"I see." Judy stated, still less than enthusiastic. "Well that is… admirable." She ended lamely. Rachel could see that she would never allow her own daughter to do what Rachel had done. "Thank you" Rachel said politely, before looking over at Quinn who was shaking her head slightly at her mother's response and looking down, her expression seemingly post-eye roll. Rachel looked down at her watch. _Time to make a hasty exit methinks_. Looking up at Mrs Fabray again, she stood up saying, "It's been lovely talking to you, but I'm afraid I have to go. I still have some preparation to do for my classes tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon."

"It was a pleasure talking to you" Judy said, smiling to the woman as both the blonds stood up respectfully. Rachel turned to grab her coat and purse. She looked to Quinn. "Enjoy the book Quinn. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks for your help Ms Berry." The girl replied and grinned, enforcing the meaning behind her words. _Thank you for not loosing your patience too quickly with my idiot mother_ she meant. _Thank you for getting to know me better than the woman who raised me does_. "See you tomorrow." Rachel smiled a final time at both women before turning and walking away, with equal parts relief and disappointment.

Later that night, Quinn thought about what Ms Berry had mentioned in Starbucks whilst talking to her mom. She made a mental note to ask about it if the opportunity ever arose: what it was that made her change her dream and escape for a year. Perhaps it was something to do with the secret that she had mentioned she had been keeping that made her so unhappy in high school. As she kissed her mother and father on the cheek and made her way up the stairs to her bedroom, her mind, as it did every night, turned to the fact that she felt so distant from them. They were both supposedly the epitome of Christians, which one would assume was loving and kind, accepting of everyone. Instead though, they were detached and disinterested. Until Quinn misbehaved of course, although that hadn't happened for many years. Then they became highly pro-active parents, her father doling out spankings and her mother forcing her to read verses of the bible, and grounding her for months at a time. As she walked away from them both, leaving them in their customary evening drunken stupor, her mind strayed to Ms Berry. Never before had she known an adult that she truly admired. _Although, _Quinn thought as she padded up the thick carpet of the stairs,_ she's not like a real adult. She's younger than my sister. Not that she's not mature, she's just more like, I don't know… a confidant, not a superior. _Quinn considered how nice it was to want to emulate someone she actually knew. She wished she had the balls to change her plans so dramatically. Although she was willing to bet that Ms Berry's parents were a heck of a lot less obsessed with appearances than the Fabrays. Ms Berry certainly was. Still, maybe Quinn would be brave enough to make her own decisions one day, and not just do what her parents wanted of her, but do what she herself wanted to do.

As she crawled under the covers and curled up on her side, rolling slightly and stretching out to turn off the lamp, Quinn thought about the opportunities that were waiting for her when she finally got out from under her parents' rule, of studying something she enjoyed like music, of traveling for no reason other than to see what was out there. She imagined having someone like Rachel Berry there with her, supportive, kind, interesting. _And Beautiful_ her sleep filled mind added emphatically. As she drifted off to sleep, her thoughts muted slowly into hazy dreams of a beautiful smile and dark brown eyes, so beautiful that tears silently fell from her eyes as she slept. She felt safe, and warm, and unlike the past few weeks, slept through the whole night without any insomnia fits causing her to wake in the middle of the night and lie there until the sun rose.

When her alarm woke her up, the sound of Feist and Grizzly Bear's _Service Bell_ softly caressing her into consciousness, and the sun shining gently in from between her curtains, she was surprised to find her pillow slightly damp. She shrugged it off and stripped off her pajamas, stepping into the shower and singing a fragment of some song she knew from somewhere. She was, for once, fairly optimistic about school. Yes she wasn't really looking forward to more inane babble from her classmates, or Sue Sylvester running her and her squad into the ground before classes even started, or the supreme pressure of teachers repeatedly telling her how important this year was because of her S.A.T.s, but really it wasn't terrible. Sue and her early morning practices weren't anything she hadn't dealt with before. She had English Lit first period, and she knew everything she needed to about Dante's _Inferno_, enough to not have to listen, so she might be able to sneakily put her iPod in one ear and daydream. Science class after was only copying up notes from the board on Mondays in preparation for the practical later in the week, so she wasn't exactly being pushed. She had a free period before lunch which meant that she usually had enough time to go to the deli down the street and ask Frankie to make up a grilled cheese with bacon for her, something he always did with a wink and a smile. He was an older guy, fairly overweight, and he always flirted with her, but it was in a friendly, playful way rather than a creepy old perv way. She liked him a lot (especially for his sandwiches) and he and the guys at the deli, who at that time of day were usually older men, appreciated the company of a young woman and tried their best to make her smile. They could usually brighten up a crappy Monday. The thought of food set her stomach rumbling, so she got out of the shower and rapidly dried herself off and got dressed in her Cheerios uniform before jogging down the stairs for breakfast.

Quinn enjoyed the mornings at her house. Her parents were still sleeping off the alcohol from the night before, so it was quiet and peaceful. She was now adept at making any kind of breakfast food you could think of, having been making it for herself for so long, and finding that she was ready for school much earlier than usual because of the insistent rumbles of her stomach, realized she had enough time to make eggs to go with her bagel. She happily set to work, considering the rest of her day. After lunch she had history, but people were giving presentations. Having already given hers, she pretty much had to do nothing but look like she was semi-conscious. After that she had gym class, which she was exempt from because of Cheerios, and her final class of the day was music with Ms Berry. At this realization she felt her chest tighten a little. It was this that probably pushed the day from being neutral up to being something to look forward to. Quinn hoped that one day she would hear more about Ms Berry's life before she came to Lima; perhaps something she heard would inspire Quinn to make some of her own plans.

She finished her bagel and licked her fingertips, downing the glass of Tropicana she had poured before getting down from the tall chair and walking around the breakfast bar she had been sitting at to rinse both the glass and the plate off. Placing both in their designated spots in the dishwasher she walked through the house, grabbed her purse and books from the table in the entrance hall, leaving her keys and deciding to walk the twenty minutes to school, closing the door quietly behind her so as not to wake her sleeping parents and incur their wrath when she got home. For once she was smiling as she walked down the street, singing loudly and noticing the beautiful colors of the trees as they turned in the fall air, not realizing what day of the month it was and why her optimism for a good day would be so short-lived.

As she finally reached the choir room and slumped with a dejected thud into one of the chairs on the risers, Quinn tried to calm down and focus on what was ahead of her. Her day had in fact _not _been a good one. Neither had it been a neutral one. Her day had in fact been _fucked._

She didn't swear that often, usually it was saved for special occasions, but this was definitely one of those times. Cheerios practice had been disastrous. All of the other girls had gone to a house party the night before and got supremely drunk, so most of them were hung over. After the third fumble, Sue had screamed at them to run laps until the hour-long session was done. That was ten minutes in. After, she had been held back by Sue yelling at her to reign in the girls' behavior; after all, she was their captain. Then she had gone to shower _finally_ and had spent a little longer than usual in there to relax her weary muscles, unworried about missing English.

It was whilst showering that she was…_reminded…_ about her time of the month. But it wasn't like it was for all the other girls, no. Quinn was different. _Freak of nature strikes again_ she thought, as she looked between her legs to regard her newly grown appendage, performing a full face-palm and thanking God that she was showering alone. She usually paid very close attention to what time of the month it was, so she was angry at herself for forgetting. She was glad she had learned how to deal with it properly a few years ago, when, instead of her first period, she had got her first _penis_. Tucking the thing in so no one noticed it while she was wearing her uniform was a subtle art, and it wasn't exactly easy to hide something so big. She sighed and gotten out of the shower, then made her way to English to apologize for being late. It turned out that the class had taken a pop quiz that day however, and as Mr Wilkes knew that she had a free period after Science (during which she had to try and explain to Brittany where she was and what she was supposed to be doing three times), she was obliged to sit in the corner of the English classroom instead of going to Frankie's Deli and complete the quiz. After lunch she had fallen asleep in history during Finn's presentation, because a) it was so boring, b) it was so inaccurate, and c) she was exhausted from running for a solid hour earlier in the day. She had been noticed with her head resting on the desk and earned herself a detention after school, and then to cap it all off, Sue had called all the Cheerios back for take two of their practice, so she hadn't had a free gym period either. Basically anything that could have go wrong did, and all Quinn could do now was pray that nothing went wrong in Music.

As everyone else filtered in through the door, Ms Berry waited patiently for the class to settle down. Seeing her standing calmly at the front of the class smiling helped Quinn's mood a little, and she tried to sit up a little bit straighter and look as if she was listening so as to show some respect. As everyone finally found their seat and stilled, Ms Berry smiled at everyone around the room, eyes landing lastly on Quinn before beginning her class.

"Good afternoon everyone! I know it's last thing on a Monday afternoon and no one's brain is working any more, so I want to do something fun, or at least something that I enjoy." At this everyone brightened a little. The slackers of the class always wanted to make sure they looked like they were interested. Usually a few people took the class because they thought it was an easy A and would never concentrate, but when those of them that were boys had seen who was teaching the class ("Yeah the fuckin hot brunette. She's short but she's got legs up to Canada" "Have you _seen_ that ass?" "I know where I want those lips") they made a _special effort _to look like they cared. It made Quinn feel slightly ill.

"Alright, can everyone pair off please?" Quinn groaned and rolled her eyes internally. The last thing she needed was one on one interaction with these mouth-breathers. As everyone else paired off, Quinn realized that the class had an odd number of students and raised her hand, praying she wouldn't be stuck being double-teamed by idiots.

"Um, Ms Berry, I don't have anyone to go with." She said with barely an ounce of anything other than apathy. She truly didn't care if she was the kid no-one picked, and the rest of the class knew it, which made them even more nervous of her. No one in high school didn't care what everyone thought. Being different in any way was a death sentence for most people. Not her apparently.

"Ok, well come over here with me then, unless you're worried I can out-sing you." She smiled jokingly. Quinn grinned, hearing the teasing in her teacher's voice, neither of them noticing the inappropriateness of their exchange.

"Oh, not a chance. It's on." She stood from her seat on the risers and sat on the piano stool next to the teacher. She noticed how good the woman's figure was from behind, without realizing that that was probably not a common thing for an eighteen year old christian girl to do, mind instead on Ms Berry explaining the assignment.

"OK guys, I want you to get out your iPods. C'mon, don't be shy, I know you all have them in your bags." Everyone looked around at each other before reaching into their pockets, bags, purses etc for them. Quinn slid her purple nano surreptitiously out of her bra. She found that it was the only place she could put it without worrying where it was. If she was honest, it was her prize possession and never went anywhere without it. Even if she wasn't listening to it, she often just held it. It was a way to transport her into a different place, somewhere that sucked 100% less than most of the places she went, when she listened to it. Ms Berry grabbed her iPod touch out of the pocked of her black (deliciously well-fitted) pants.

"OK, so what I want everyone to do is to hand it to your partner, thus:" she said with a smile on her face, offering her own to Quinn, who in turn handed her iPod doubtfully to the brunette. She seemed to notice, and whispered "don't worry, I'll treat it like my baby. It's safe with me I swear." before turning quickly back to the class and continuing "And I want you to turn on your partner's iPod and listen to the first song that comes on. This isn't serious, so no teasing, OK? We all know about pocket shuffling, and everyone has a guilty pleasure." Everyone around the room including Quinn smiled a little at this and people grew a little more comfortable. "Alright, so listen through the song once, then talk to your partner about why it's on there etc. At the end of the class I want everyone to sing the chorus of the song to us." A hand went up at the back.

"What if no-one knows the song?" Rachel smiled at this. Kids were always worried about being different, so much so that they worried about someone hearing ten seconds of a song that the others might not know and therefore disapprove of.

"That's one of the great things about this game! Most people don't spend a lot of time looking around for music they've never heard, they just listen to the radio. Who knows, maybe you'll hear something you've never heard but love!"

Behind her, Quinn smiled as she heard this. At least someone was interested in music other than what was constantly on the radio. As Ms Berry told the rest of the class that they had forty minutes to complete the task before they would be asked to stand up and sing, she came and sat down on a chair that she dragged over from the risers, right in front of Quinn. She smirked confidently at her.

"What?" The blond asked, unable to help the corners of her mouth curling upward. The teacher continued, chuckling lightly.

"I saw the look on your face when you gave me your iPod. I also saw where you keep it" she informed Quinn, raising an eyebrow. Quinn's eyes widened at Ms Berry's admission, not knowing what to reply, but waiting for the young woman to continue.

"You obviously are very protective of it."

"I - I just-"

"It's alright Quinn," the teacher said, her face straightening. "While it may be an inanimate object, it holds a lot of emotional material. _Personal_ emotional material. It's understandable that you want to keep it safe. But now I'm really interested to see what you've got in here too." She added, the smirk returning. "I get a personal insight into the mind of the Head Bitch in Charge. Not many people can claim that!" She finished with her eyes twinkling. Quinn found herself readjusting her position on the seat unconsciously, suddenly finding the lower part of her uniform uncomfortable as she smiled shyly at the woman. Catching herself, she realized that she needed to man up (so to speak) so she gave back what she had been getting.

"Yeah, I get to see into the mind of a teacher, the people on The Other Side. This should be pretty interesting."

"Well then, I guess we'd better get on with it, this suspense is killing me!" Ms Berry ended sarcastically, opening her chocolate eyes wide at the girl. "Ready?" She said putting in Quinn's bright pink earbuds. Quinn nodded as she mirrored the woman with the pristine white Apple headphones that were wrapped around the iPod. "OK, Play" she exclaimed, pressing play. What met Quinn's ears surprised her more than anything. Her eyes widened at what she heard, and she looked up from the screen to the brunette opposite her who was looking back at her similarly. Immediately her teacher began laughing. She obviously knew exactly what was playing on her own iPod. What made her laugh was that it was exactly what was playing on her student's Nano. Quinn rolled her eyes and shook her head while smiling. They both played the song out to the end and then removed the earphones.

"So," Ms Berry began. "You're a Tom Waits fan? I shouldn't be surprised really. You and I are weirdly similar." Quinn nodded, her face serious and her eyes wide.

"Yeah, but that's, like, freaky. Really freaky. One in a million freaky."

"Freaky it is. But at least learning this chorus to sing for the class will be a cake walk."

"Ha, yeah I guess so. So, what, we should do a duet?" Quinn asked, unsure of what the rules of the game were in this unlikely circumstance.

"Well, the beautiful thing about this situation is that I'm the teacher. I know how I sing and it doesn't matter for the class. So I'm afraid I'm going to make you do it solo." Ms Berry grinned, hearing Quinn groan slightly as she got up off the chair.

"It'll be fine. Everyone else has to do it solo, so it's only fair that you do too. And I guess since we've pretty much owned everyone here already, I should do the rounds and help people out. And I just realized how much of a mistake it was letting some of the boys' music be performed in front of a class, even if you are all essentially adults." Quinn laughed at this, realizing herself that an Eminem chorus from the wrong song could have nasty consequences for the teacher with the Principal. "Feel free to keep listening though" Ms Berry added as she walked toward the others. Quinn beamed and nodded in return. She watched the woman making her way gracefully through the crowd of chairs, always having a smile for the students. Sometimes her face would sober thoughtfully as she concentrated on answering a question or fixing a song, pushing her hair behind her ear as she crouched next to a chair to hear the students better over the din of people singing. Not for the first time, Quinn was desperately glad to know someone so poised and understanding, someone who she could have a _conversation with._

**Alright, so i know it seems like i cut off this chapter before anything really happened, but it's not filler as such. It's just that if i got into the good stuff the chapter would take you a week and a half to read. I promise you won't have long before i post the next. **

**Please keep reviewing. If you think i've gone nuts and it stops making sense, i want to know! Thanks ;)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Alright, so i had a bout of noisy-housemate-induced insomnia and decided i would post another chapter.**_

_**Just to answer a question kikky asked in the comments, there will be other Gleeks mentioned, but not that often. Mostly they'll just push the plot forward in little ways. Also, i found that it's pretty unrealistic to have my Quinn interacting with people that she only got to know because of glee, as there is no glee club. Instead, Puck, Finn, Brittney and Santana (and possibly Mike and Matt if i need them) will be students with Quinn and interact with her. If any of the others (Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie) appear, they will be Rachel's age and will be her own friends (although i'm sure that Quinn would meet them eventually...)  
**_

_**Also, as V-squared pointed out to me, it was probably a mistake setting up the plot in such detail before-hand. I have decided on one change to what i've set out so far, but it doesn't make much of a difference to the storyline. It also won't happen for few chapters, but if anyone notices it by the time the fic is finished, they get...something. (What can you give over the internet? Maybe i'll fill a prompt that you want filling or something?). If there are future differences, they won't be massive, because i've already written a lot of it, but i apologize in advance for those who go "Wait, WTF? She never said that would happen!"**_

**_As always, Quinn and Rachel aren't mine. If they were i wouldn't share. _**

**_OK, maybe i would... ;)_**

**Chapter 3**

When time was eventually up, the students all moved the chairs back to their original positions. Rachel sat on the piano bench and listened and laughed along with the class as each person performed, the beautiful chocolate curls bouncing along with her mirth. Each student would tell the class whose music the song was from, before giving some fairly rousing renditions. One of the big football guys who paired up with his girlfriend found himself doing a rendition of Dirty by Christina Aguilera, while she ended up singing a rapid yet still passable chorus from Good Times Bad Times by Led Zeppelin. They heard some god-awful rapping, a few guys singing songs that they only ever sang in the shower and wouldn't admit to, like Miley Cyrus, and one guy even trying his hand at some Opera.

The atmosphere in the room was one that was very rare within the walls of McKinley. It was comfortable. It was calm. It was happy. And it was entirely engineered by Rachel herself. She smiled, proud of her achievement. It warmed her heart slightly to see the jocks and the less popular kids laughing along at the same jokes, but never with any malice in their eyes. Rachel looked up to Quinn. She was at the back listening to the songs and laughing along with her peers too. The brunette felt her smile widen a little. The person who was most separated from the rest of the class was doing something _with_ them, and even if it would only last another two minutes until the bell rang and they could leave their own personal hell behind them for another day, Rachel was still a little proud of herself. The girl seemed to not get much enjoyment from life, but seeing her face completely stress-free was satisfying for the teacher. It made her beauty so much softer, without the hard lines of a scowl twisting her features. Her eyes were bright, Rachel noticed, and her mind was thrown back to the doodle she had seen one of the big jock guys making, that depicted a girl with wings and a halo, with the name _Quinn_ emblazoned across the top. _Kid had a point, _she thought distractedly.

Eventually it was only Quinn left. She made her way down from the risers, and Rachel felt herself looking forward to the girl's performance. Not only was she a good singer, but it was a good song, and it was the kind of thing that so few of the kids in the class would ever hear. It would do them good to hear it, even just the chorus. She looked on at the girl as she introduced the song.

"Well, this is the first song that came on on Ms Berry's iPod. But it was also the one that came up on mine too weirdly enough." There was some surprised mumbling from around the class before they quieted down again. Quinn looked over to Rachel for reassurance, but instead felt her stomach (and possibly something lower) jolt a little as the woman licked her lips in expectation, watching the cheerleader prepare to sing. Quinn was worried that it wouldn't be good enough; in the first class of the year she had decided that Rachel's voice was a gift sent from God, and had to be excused from the class so that she could collect herself. She would never be able to sing that well, and she was, to cap it off, singing a song that the woman clearly loved and had on her iPod. The thought of messing it up had Quinn's stomach in knots. She took a deep breath, deciding that it would be worse to lose her nerve in front of the woman and the rest of the class.

"The song is called All the World is Green and it's by Tom Waits." The girl cleared her throat and sang out:

"_He's balancing a diamond_

_On a blade of grass,_

_The dew will settle on our graves,_

_When all the world is green._

_Pretend that you owe me nothing, _

_And all the world is green,_

_We can bring back the old days again,_

_When all the world was green."_

Rachel was surprised that Quinn had sang the refrain as well as the chorus, but was glad, as the chorus was short and didn't really represent the entire thing. She was pleased with the song. Quinn's voice was well matched to it but it was still very different to the original and made for a great cover version. The song tended to send tingles up Rachel's spine, and today was no exception, even with the abridged version.

Just as Quinn finished singing, much to Rachel's disappointment, the bell rang, and so rather than being able to see the reactions of the class, or them having any time to digest their feelings for it, they all packed their bags and ran out of the room, forgetting that they ever heard the song. All except Quinn, who seemed in no rush. She grabbed her bag from over on the risers and turned to look at Ms Berry. "Well, I guess there's just no accounting for taste, is there." She said with a roll of her eyes. Rachel laughed dryly, seeing how frustrating it must be for the girl to spend all day with people she could barley connect with.

"No, I guess not. But it was beautiful" she replied softly, trying to come up with something positive for the girl. Quinn smiled shyly, her heart quickening a little at the woman's smile and compliment. She didn't often have these feelings, and never for boys. She barely even allowed her mind to register when she felt flustered because one of the other Cheerios gave her a compliment, or an attractive waitress smiled at her, because good christian girls (even ones with her...condition) didn't fall for other girls. But in an instant, that line of thought was out the window. Quinn was crushing hard, and it was undeniable. She tried hard to hide any kind of vulnerability.

"Thanks Ms Berry. I mean, clearly a duet would've been better, but, since you chickened out…" she ended sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Rachel's chocolate orbs widened in mock-offense.

"I'll have you know there was no 'chickening' Miss Fabray. And you'd better watch out. I may like you but I can still give you detention if I want!" She chuckled, indicating her joke as she turned to the piano and began gathering her papers into her bag. Quinn laughed sheepishly.

"Actually, it's too late for that." Rachel, who had closed her bag and placed it on her shoulder, brushing her silky hair out from under the strap, turned back around to look at the girl with her eyes wide, no longer mockingly.

"You have detention today? How did that happen? You don't exactly strike me as the detention type"

"Yeah, me either." She said grumpily, pouting a little in a way that made her look like an adorable three year old, and causing Rachel to have to hide a smile. Quinn looked at her with a little trepidation. "This is actually my first detention ever. I was so bored in History because Finn, aka, the dumbest Neanderthal known to man, was doing a presentation, and Sue worked us really hard this morning, so I fell asleep. God!" she exclaimed exasperatedly after a pause, clearly mad that her spotless record had been tarnished. The two began to walk together towards the door, and Rachel placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it Quinn. I mean, you've got to try everything once right?" she said, hitting the lights as they reached the door. Quinn regarded the woman as if she was a mental patient before laughing honestly.

"Yeah, I guess so." She fell quiet. Rachel continued talking as they walked towards the science classroom where detention was being held.

"And lucky for you, you have an _amazingly_ kind, generous, interesting teacher taking detention today, who will probably get let you get away with doing whatever you want for an hour." She smiled as she held the door to the classroom open for Quinn, who shot her a look of surprise before entering. Rachel chuckled at the girl.

"What? You're surprised? If I didn't have to stay I would have been here only marginally longer than the students were. Only long enough to tell you what a good job you did singing." Quinn smiled at the woman as she made her way to the front of the room and dumped her bag on the desk, sitting with a huff and a sigh. She looked over to the girl and saw her brushing down her Cheerios uniform nervously.

"Seriously Quinn, it's gonna be fine. There are only two other people down for detention today: Karofsky and Azimio. And in all honesty I'd be surprised if they showed up at all. And it's not going to harm you or your reputation to be here. I'm still alive and I had _plenty_ of detentions. _Believe me._" She smiled gently at the girl, hoping to dissuade some of her nervousness. Slowly, Quinn made her way to the front of the class and sat at a desk slightly to the right of the room on the front row, tucking her skirt underneath her as she sat.

"You did?" She questioned with shy interest. "What for?" she pressed. If someone she liked so much could get detentions, she didn't have so much of a problem with getting them herself. Especially since she thought that falling asleep one time wasn't enough to warrant it. She thought that if she could hear about some more serious stuff that had landed her people in detention, she wouldn't feel so guilty. Rachel looked at her and hesitated. Most of the time, she had been in detention because she had irritated her teachers so much that they gave her detention to stop her from talking. Or because she was acting out in some way to release her frustrations caused by her peers, which had often been girls, and were usually due to undisclosed desires on her own part she realized years later. She didn't feel that it was appropriate to be discussing her high school crushes on girls with someone from a family like Quinn's, even if Rachel did suspect that the girl was a lot more open minded than her parents were rumored to be. If they found out and took a disliking to her, she had no doubt that they would have her fired very quickly, and her career as a teacher couldn't withstand a blow like that in its fledgling state. She held no doubts that she would let something slip though, and until she had gained the girl's trust a little more she wanted to keep things neutral.

"Uh…. I'm not really sure I should be discussing it with you to be honest Quinn." her face had sobered and she wasn't smiling any more. Quinn's brow furrowed in surprise and slight annoyance.

"Oh, come on, why not? It's not like I'm planning on _ever_ being in detention again, so I'm not going to copy whatever you were in for."

"Seriously Quinn, it's not something I should discuss with you. Now, do you have some homework or something to do? Might as well use the time effectively. I have some papers to mark." The blond looked at her teacher with a slight scowl, annoyed that she had been denied something that seemed so harmless, for what was basically no reason.

"Nope." she said stubbornly looking at the woman squarely. She then began looking around the room for something to do, continuing, "Boring classes are boring, easy classes are easy. Homework either wasn't given or I finished it in class." Rachel held in a sigh, seeing that she had annoyed the girl. She really did need to grade those papers.

"Alright, well is there anything else you can do? What about that book, got it in school?" She said, trying to get back on friendly terms. Sadly luck wasn't on her side and the cheerleader continued to be just as cold.

"Nope. Finished it last night." This was the truth. She had been so excited about the book after discussing it with her teacher at the mall that as soon as she got home she had gone up to her room and read it cover to cover. They looked at each other for a moment before Quinn gave in. She sighed, got up and went over to the desk, and grabbed a model of a molecule, made with black plastic spheres as the atoms and gray links as the bonds. She took three of the balls off the model, causing Rachel's eyebrows to raise.

"Don't worry, I built it in the first place, in my class earlier. I'll put it back together before I leave." She said patronizingly. The girl was clearly less than happy with the woman and was giving her the treatment usually reserved for everyone else. Rachel found that she didn't enjoy being one of the masses in Quinn's eyes. The student returned to her seat, put on her iPod and began juggling absently with the lumps of black plastic. Rachel looked on in surprise that the girl had such a pointless, but nevertheless interesting, skill, before rolling her eyes and pulling the test papers out of her bag.

The papers were nothing important, just something she gave to the kids to find their general level of musical knowledge at the beginning of the year. She graded the first six, then looked over to Quinn. The girl was still juggling; she hadn't dropped one yet. Rachel found herself caught up in the movement and thought about the blond in front of her. She was surprised that someone so seemingly driven had time to waste on learning to juggle, and was going to sit in a classroom for an hour and not do anything else. She obviously wasn't quite as high strung as Rachel originally considered her to be, probably because the first time they had spoken was a fairly emotional day.

She remembered back to the previous afternoon and realized that although they had only been together in the coffee shop for twenty minutes or so, the girl was calm and casual. She was wearing flats, jeans and a t-shirt with a long cardigan in that kind of bohemian, relaxed style. She had her hair down and slightly curled. It looked good on her, but Rachel realized that the person that Quinn was in school would never wear those clothes. Or at least not the person that Rachel thought of as 'school Quinn'. That girl wore her crisp, clean uniform and spotless tennis shoes every day, capped off with a perfect ponytail. Rachel admonished herself for making judgments about the girl though, and reminded herself to try and meld the two personalities in her head. There was, after all, only one Quinn, just in different moods. While she was at school, Quinn was unhappy so she was moody and cracked pretty quickly, she kept up an air of superiority and aloofness. She was lonely. She didn't gel with the other students so her behavior was prim and curt towards them, to the point of unkindness. That probably wasn't the real Quinn. It definitely wasn't the Quinn she had been chatting with over the past few days. But from what Rachel had seen today, she was childish with teachers if she disapproved of them or their decisions because she had no power over them. _Although_, she thought as she reconsidered the previous events _I did pretty much just treat her like a child. I just said no to her without an explanation, even though she's an adult and not much younger than me. If someone treated me like that I'd throw an epic tantrum and probably storm out._ She sighed and quickly graded the rest of the papers, which took her ten minutes, before she called out to the girl.

"Quinn." The girl, who was listening to her iPod so loud Rachel could hear the headphones thumping, didn't hear her and continued her idle behavior. She was throwing the balls overarm, above her head, reclined in the seat with her legs crossed in front of her and feet resting on the desk next to her, facing to the left. It was the ultimate pose of indifference, and Rachel had no way to catch her attention short of throwing something (which she did consider, but only briefly) or getting up. She sighed exasperatedly and rolled her eyes as she pushed her chair back with a huff. She had the sneaking suspicion that Quinn knew what was going on and was making Rachel work for her attention, but there wasn't much she could do about it, so she rounded the teacher's desk and stood in front of where the blond was facing, with an expectant look on her face. The girl saw Rachel and raised her eyebrows with the slightest hint of a smirk ghosting across her lips, before she stopped juggling and paused her music, feet stubbornly still on the table and eyebrows still stubbornly raised, holding the atoms in her hands still as if she would continue at any moment. She looked expectant, as if waiting for an apology, and as much as Rachel hated doing what people expected her to, it was the right thing to do. She sighed before admitting defeat, crossing her hands demurely in front of her and looking down.

"Look Quinn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to treat you like a child. You're an adult, and as such you deserve an explanation rather than just an order." Rachel paused, looking up. "Although seeing as I'm trying so very hard to treat you like an adult, you should probably try a little harder to behave like one, and not have a fit of childish stubbornness every time you don't like what's going on." At this Quinn opened her mouth, as if to retaliate or defend her behavior, but eventually thought better of it. She had been behaving like a child and she knew it. She closed her mouth again, sliding her feet back down to the floor and sitting up a little straighter as she put the black plastic in her hands down onto the desk. The expression on her face was one of humility; it was an admittance of wrongdoing. Rachel regarded the girl for a second before taking the seat of the desk that was previously occupied by Quinn's feet. "I'm not sure how it usually works for you with people of authority, but I promise you that you can tell me how you feel about what I say or do. If you thought I was acting unfairly just now, you should have said something, something reasonable mind you, instead of regressing. I promise you I'll try to act rationally and listen calmly to you instead of punishing you because I don't like what you're saying, OK?" Quinn had her hands on the desk fiddling with her fingernails. She didn't meet the woman's eyes, but she nodded slowly. Rachel was relieved, although it seemed that Quinn was hiding inside herself, and the teacher was worried that what Quinn had agreed to would never in fact happen. Rachel had an idea.

"So, want to test it out then?" She smiled over at the girl, who looked back at chocolate eyes in confusion.

"Huh?" the girl asked quirking an eyebrow, confused and clearly not used to this type treatment by the authority figures in her life.

"Let's have a do over. Pretend that I've just said no to you and not given you a reason why. You're upset about it, yes?" Quinn paused for a moment before nodding in confirmation. "OK, so, in a rational and grown up manner, say what you want to say to me." Quinn looked a little lost, but tried her best to do what was being asked of her, which Rachel appreciated.

"OK, um… Well, is there any particular reason you don't want to discuss the detentions that you received in high-school that you were previously so… proud of… with me Ms Berry?" Rachel didn't fail to notice the unnecessary "with me" that Quinn's question had contained, and considered that Quinn perhaps also took some personal issue with Rachel's decision, thinking that she had been shunned. She reminded herself to think more on it later before she answered.

"Yes, in fact there are a couple of reasons. One of them is that, while I know you are a bright girl, and not prone to misbehavior, I feel that it would be a bad idea to spin any rule breaking in a positive light to a student. The other is that my detentions are linked with some very personal events, which perhaps only a few people in the world know the full details of, and I'm not very comfortable even reminding myself of them. I've only known you for a few days and it would be uncomfortable for me to talk about it with _anyone_ that I've known for such a short time. Even one i like as much as you." She left a little pause before she added a soft "OK?" which was intended as both 'are we ok now?' and 'are those explanations satisfactory?'. The blond gave another slight nod, this time with a thoughtful expression towards the front of the classroom. Rachel exhaled quietly, as if she had been holding her breath to see whether or not Quinn would accept her reasons, and then looked at the clock. Officially there was ten minutes of detention left, but she both thought that the reason Quinn was there was ridiculous, and wanted to get home and douse her liver in red wine.

"Alright Quinn" she said with finality, pulling the blond out of her thoughtful state and catching her attention again, "I think it's time to go home, don't you?" Quinn smiled with her lips pressed together and nodded with gladness. As they both made their way towards the exit and stood looking at each other at the top of the steps that led into the parking lot, the cheerleader quietly said "Sorry for being such a child. It's just, you know, you get treated like one so often at school that it's easy to fall back into that mindset. Thanks for giving me a second chance." As they walked down the steps together Rachel put her arm around the girl and squeezed her opposite shoulder in a fond gesture, trying to reassure the girl. Quinn blushed slightly at her side, glad the woman was watching where her feet were going and not herself.

"Don't worry about it. Thanks for not holding a grudge. You walking home again?" The girl nodded the affirmative to her teacher, who replied "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then." giving the blond's shoulder a squeeze before letting go. The girl gave her a quick "yeah, see you," a smile, and a wave before they parted ways, Rachel to her car and Quinn to the sidewalk on her journey home. This time as Rachel drove out the opposite way to Quinn, she kept looking up into her rear-view mirror at the girl, watching her easy gait, and thinking about their exchange. It wasn't until Quinn turned a corner and the girl was out of sight that Rachel looked at the sky through her wind-screen and saw the rain-clouds rolling in.

**_So hopefully the next chapter will be up in a few days (although in all likelyhood it'll be sooner, i'm totally a whore for your comments.)_**

**_As always, reviews are appreciated, so don't hesitate. Also, while i'm pretty protective of my baby, and have a lot of stuff already planned, if you think something needs to happen in the story rapido, suggest it in the comments and i'll mull it over. No guarantees, but people tend to be much more genius than i am. _**

**_Until next time ;)  
_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Sorry this one took a little while to upload. Been dealing with some shit from my housemates at Uni so i've been a bit distracted. Like, lock myself out of my room twice in 12 hours distracted. I hate those assholes.  
_**

**_Also, for some reason, FF.N didn't like the file that this was on so after a million attempts at getting it posted, i had to put it on a notepad document, and that basically destroyed any formatting i did meaning i had to go back and super-edit. If you notice missing apostrophes blame the website ;)  
_**

**_Alright, so this chapter is when Rachel discovers the peen . I actually went back and re-wrote this one a couple of times because Yanng mentioned thinking that Quinn might see Rachel as a mother figure, and it made me realize that if i'm not careful it'll just be "poof, they're in love" like Ryan Murphy does. One of my favorite guidelines for creating characters is "show me, don't tell me" (and i wish someone would tell this to RM in terms of Finn. Leader, anyone?) so i went back and made sure it sounds like they're actually interested in each other, rather than just being friendly and then all of a sudden writing in a little note that says "and then they were in love". This chapter and the next one actually involve them noticing each other more physically, but the emotional connection does get stronger in later chapters, i promise_**.

**_Thanks for the comments etc., and as always, enjoy!_**

Quinn was huddled under a tree on the edge of the park next to the street she had been walking down, hoping for the rain to pass quickly. It was only about five minutes after she left the school grounds that the tension above her broke and the torrent began. She had started to run, and had hidden under the first cover she saw when she received a text message.

_**Mom**-Hi honey, your father and I went out for a nice afternoon together. We should be back for dinner. You'll have to let yourself in with the spare key. Xxx_

Quinn groaned and cursed loudly as soon as she finished reading. As her mother was a housewife and had usually started drinking before Quinn got home from school, there was no reason for the woman not be home to let her in usually. Quinn kept her house keys on the chain with her car keys. She had thought someone would be home, and so they were on the table inside the house because she had walked that day. She also knew that there was an 80% chance that the spare key was not under the rock by the front door, but inside, wherever her parents had dropped it when they passed out after coming home late from a gala night the week before. They had taken a cab that night and forgotten their own keys. Quinn noticed them on the table by the door as she was going to bed and sighed, figuring they'd wake her up to let them in, but she woke eight hours later and came downstairs to find her father asleep on the couch, meaning they must've been sober enough to retrieve the spare from under the rock and let themselves in.

She dropped her head to look at her phone as she quickly shot _Did you put it back under the rock after last week?_ back to the woman, and cursed even harder at her mother's reply of _No, I asked your father to do it. Have a nice evening honey xxx_ because she knew that roughly translated as _Shit, no, I totally forgot and it's not there, but don't blame me for it._ She rolled her eyes and looked up at the sky, then sat down on the dry roots of the tree as she considered her options.

She could force one of the Cheerios to pick her up and let her chill at their house until her parents returned. But that would mean she would have to sit at their house with them, and her day had only just been un-ruined. She didn't want to crap it up again by spending time with the general population of McKinley. She could call Santana, who lived twenty minutes away by car, to pick her up. But she was probably hooking up with Brittney at home, and if she even bothered to halt her lecherousness to look at her phone or pick up the captain, she wouldn't be put out by the head Cheerio s presence and would most likely continue her business with the blond (and there was such thing as knowing someone too well.) She put her elbows on her knees, which were bent out to the sides slightly and upwards in front of her, reclining against the trunk and resting her forehead on her hands.

She was just considering walking to the local library after there was a break in the rain, when a car that she had heard rolling up the street stopped in front of where she was sitting and honked the horn. She looked up in time to see Ms Berry gesturing for her to get in the car. Rapidly, Quinn grabbed her books and purse and ran to the passenger side of the car, throwing her belongings and then herself into the vehicle and slamming the door. She sighed with relief and let her head fall back to the headrest, with her eyes closed, saying "Thank you" before Ms Berry reached behind her and grabbed a towel off the back seat, saying "Here" and offering it to Quinn with a smile. Quinn took it and wiped the water off her arms, chest and head, before raising herself up a little out of the seat to put the towel beneath her so she didn't ruin the upholstery. She finally reclined back with a sigh and turned to the teacher who had been watching the girl patiently.

"I'm so glad you came! I thought I was going to be stuck under that tree for hours and it was starting to get really cold out there."

"Yeah I'll bet" She said as she noticed the goosebumps on the girl's damp skin, and, lingering just a moment too long on her legs before she caught herself, leaned forward to turn up the heat (getting an even clearer view of said legs) and adjusted the vent to point at the soaking blond.

"When it started raining I figured you hadn't made it home yet, and it didn't look like you had a coat with you so I turned around. Couldn't have such a good singer catching cold now could we?" the woman said with raised eyebrows, laughing lightly. The cheerleader laughed in return and rubbed her face, glad to be in the warm. "So, where to?" Her teacher asked her. Quinn looked at her with her mouth open, trying to think of someplace to go.

"Um I guess, to the library in town?" She said unsurely. Rachel gave her a quizzical look.

"I thought you were walking home? I just wanted the directions. You can't sit in a public library in a freezing, soaked cheer-leading uniform!" The woman exclaimed. The girl sighed slowly and her shoulders sagged forward in defeat.

"I know, but my parents aren't home and I'm locked out. I left my house keys at home because I walked and every other day of the _year_ my mom would be at home so she could let me in. The spare key was moved and hasn't been put back, and unless my parents are suffering from some kind of brain damage I don't know about, all of the windows and doors are locked. They won't be back until dinner, so I'm stuck until then. I would break in, but, I mean, you met my mother. I would pretty much never see daylight again if I broke something." Rachel thought for a moment, trying to come up with some kind of alternative.

"Well surely you must be able to go to someone s house until they get back?" She asked. The girl grunted a laugh humorlessly.

"I don't have any real friends, remember. I just have people who are afraid of me. And really, I had a crappy day mostly, I've just managed to salvage it over the past two hours. Honestly, I'd rather take the pneumonia at the Library than ruin it again by spending time in their company." She looked to the left, out of the window, and Rachel made a face, reproaching herself for forgetting how much Quinn disliked spending time with her peers. After all, that was basically the reason why she herself had spent so much time with the blond. Although, she was glad that the time that the girl's day had gotten better was her own class and the hour since; she was glad to make someone s life a little brighter, especially someone she liked as much as the blond.

Rachel sighed, figuring that there was only one other thing that she could do to help, and that was to let the girl stay at her place for a couple of hours, although it was extremely inappropriate. She figured that if neither of them mentioned it too much that it wouldn't do any harm. In fact, it would do less harm to the girl than the other options. She knew that for some school clubs teachers held end of year parties etc. at their own houses, and certain pupils were tutored by staff members at their homes, so it wasn't totally unheard of. She turned to the girl and tried to brighten the mood, saying lightly "Well, buckle up then, we can't just sit here all afternoon." Quinn turned back to her with a frown and a questioning eyebrow.

"Where are you going to take me?"

"My place. I know it s a little awkward, but its basically the only other option we have. We can throw your clothes in the dryer and you can just watch some TV or something. It's like a twenty five minute drive to the other side of town, so just tell me when you need to be home and I'll drop you back. Is that OK?" she asked the girl who was still frowning at her, but the blond's brow softened as she realized the look on her face and smiled, before nodding and putting on her seat belt.

"I would really appreciate that, thank you." She said, driving the buckle home.

"It's no problem, really. But do me a favor and make sure your parents know. I really don t want them thinking I've kidnapped you, or finding out accidentally and thinking you meant to keep it a secret on purpose or something! It'll make it seem like we're hiding something." They both laughed as the woman flicked the turn signal on and pulled back onto the street from where she had pulled up on the curb. They sat in silence for a minute as Quinn pulled out her phone and typed out _Ms Berry offered to take me home because it s raining and I can't get in.. See you later_ and sent the message to her mom.

Rachel saw from the corner of her eye that the girl was finished texting, and reaching out to the center console and feeling around in the growing darkness, she grabbed her iPod which was hooked up to the car's sound system, and passed it to Quinn.

"Make it something good Quinn." She said in a faux-stern voice before smiling as the girl took the device from her. Quinn spent about two minutes looking through the songs before making her selection and pressing play, letting the soft music fill the car. They chatted amicably about the song, their favorite music, what kind of music they disliked, and sang along to some of their picks before Rachel signaled left and pulled across the street into the underground parking lot of an apartment complex. From what Quinn could see the place was pretty new and expensive-looking, but not too brash or showy. Quinn was impressed and as they made their way up the steps she looked around in interest. Rachel pulled out her keys and entered the apartment first, holing the door open for Quinn as she reached out to the left of the door and turned on the lights. As the place was illuminated, Quinn let out a soft wow . Rachel smiled as she shut the door behind them.

"What do you think of it? I've only been here for a week, so I'm not really sure what I think yet." Quinn looked around the room. The walls were burgundy, but the place was lit well to counteract the dark color. The floors were dark boards which ran through the entire open-plan living area, with expensive looking rugs here and there on the floor. Directly in front of the entrance was a circular dining table, and past that was the kitchen area, which had polished, honey-colored granite surfaces and warm spotlights. It was separated from the rest of the room by a step up into it, and a counter which ran parallel to the door, towards the far right of the apartment. The entire of the right-hand wall was windows, which reached all the way up to the high, slanted ceilings, which were themselves supported by dark-stained wooden beams. There was a glass door in the middle leading out to the terrace and what looked, as far as Quinn could tell through the gathering gloom, like a small garden. The living area was in front of the windows, with a fireplace as a focal point, and the furniture looked vintage Victorian and was upholstered in burgundy, the fabric looking like silk with a damask pattern, and dark wood matching the floors, perfectly juxtaposed with the modern appliances like the flat screen TV on the wall above the mantle, the impressive sound system, and the modern kitchen. The only decoration in the entire apartment was photos and light fittings. Some photos were framed on the mantle above the fireplace, perhaps of friends, whereas there were other much larger black and white prints on the walls.

Between where the kitchen counter ran across and the windows, there was a wall where the fireplace was, to the right of which was a floor to ceiling book case, and then it seemed as if a passage way ran between the glass and bookcase. Across the room, opposite the fireplace, was another door, that looked as if there was maybe a bedroom that stuck out of the building beyond the front door. Quinn loved the place at once, for it s style and elegance, and partially because it was just so different from her own home.  
"It's amazing! Absolutely gorgeous. I didn't even know places like this existed in Lima." she emoted. Rachel smiled and dropped her bag and keys on the table.

"Thanks. I'm pretty lucky to be able to afford it actually. I got a scholarship to Juilliard, I was doing voice-over work all the way through college, which pays a lot more than you'd think, and my dads had been saving since I first learned to say the word "Juilliard" so they could send me there. They put it into a trust fund when I got the scholarship until I turned 21, so sometimes it seems like I have more money than I know what to do with. I bought the place outright, which is pretty nice for a teacher. On my salary, I would have been lucky to afford to rent one room in this building otherwise." She smiled, then her eyes widened as she realized that she had again given away her less than conventional life, being raised by two dads, to the girl with the super Christian family. Quinn's eyes flickered to her for a moment, but she didn't say anything, instead smiling slightly and opting to go over to the bookcase and browse. This didn't really calm Rachel any, as there were photos of herself with various previous girlfriends scattered around the room that the cheerleader could easily spot. She was on good terms with most of them, and while they weren't all best friends, they could still talk, and meant a lot to the woman as many of them had been through important parts of her life with her. She shook herself, realizing that to a girl like Quinn they would probably just look like photos of her with old friends.

_Apart from maybe that candid of me and Nadine just after our college performance of Rent..._ she thought, biting her lip. They had been starting their own post-performance celebrations on the last night, Nadine using the alibi of celebratory Ben & Jerry's before making her move (which Rachel nervously welcomed), but they had been caught by the rest of the cast before they had gotten anywhere. The others didn't know it, but her cast-mates had just captured the first time Rachel had kissed another woman. _But that one's waaay up high. No chance she'd see it there. I hope..._

Rachel gave herself a minute to breathe and regain her nerves before walking over to the thermostat to turn the heat up as she saw the girl wrap her arms around herself.

"Alright, let's get you warm. You can come through here and shower, and I'll put your clothes in the dryer when you're out of them OK? You can borrow something of mine until they're dry. Although my pants might be a little short for you." At this the girl looked to her and smiled gratefully, perhaps trying to hold in a giggle and a tease about the petite stature of her teacher.

"Thank you, I really appreciate this. If I had a normal family and life, this wouldn't even be a problem." She huffed as she rolled her eyes, more irritated than upset. Rachel laughed and looked the girl in the eye seriously.

"Quinn, if anyone had normal friends and family, the world would be a lot different. Come on, I ll show you to the shower." Quinn followed her 'round to the left of the bookcase, down the passageway between the windows and the dividing wall. It looked like the apartment continued back a fair way further than where the small kitchen ended, and she figured that there was probably another bedroom behind it. As they reached the end of the passage, there was indeed a door to the left, but Ms Berry opened a door opposite it into a room on the right of the passage.

As far as Quinn could see, this was the master bedroom. She felt a little uncomfortable being in her teacher's bedroom, and after her initial look around, she kept her eyes trained on either the woman or the floor. What she had seen was nice though. It was a similar dark palette as the living room, with browns and reds, but it also felt warmer. A king-sized sleigh-bed, with thick dark mahogany panels, white sheets and a burgundy comforter, burgundy walls and more of the same dark floorboards. Another wall of windows with a French door leading outside was to the right of the bedroom door, at 90 degrees to the similar glass wall in the living area. Quinn could see the sofas in the seating area if she looked through.

Running along the wall between the bedroom door and the glass, to Quinn s right, was a dark-colored dresser which matched the bed and would reflect the morning light from the windows beautifully, and running along the walls on the other side of the door, to her left, were two chests of drawers. There was a large vase of expensive looking white irises resting on the top. On that side of the room were two doors, one closed, looking like the entrance to a walk-in closet, and further away, across from the bed, was another open door leading to an en-suite. Rachel noticed the girl's discomfort at being inside her bedroom and explained.

"Sorry, I would let you use the spare bathroom, but there's nothing in it. I've only bothered to put towels and toiletries in this one because I've been so busy, and I haven't had any guests. Come on." She walked into the bathroom and grabbed a couple of big, soft looking, deep red towels from the cupboard in the back left corner of the room. It was all white, and chrome, with a modern-style freestanding bath in the back-center of the room, and a separate shower cubicle to the right of it. The toilet was on the left, next to the sink which had a mirror above it. The floors were rough tiles of the same honey colored granite as in the kitchen, and rather than the shower having a tray in the bottom, it just had a drain in the floor and glass separating it from the rest of the room. It was probably the coolest bathroom Quinn had ever seen, and if she was honest she was pretty pleased to be using it.

"Alright, so just take your time, feel free to use whatever. I'll put some stuff out on the bed that should fit you. When you're done, just put the towels in the basket" she indicated a tall, dark wooden, open-topped box in the corner "and come find me. I ll be in the living room, OK?" She smiled and turned away, before remembering the uniform and turning back. "Oh, actually, if you want to give me your uniform, I'll throw it in the dryer for you." Unsure of whether Ms Berry intended to stay and wait for the clothes, or if she would leave the room, Quinn swallowed dryly, remembering her shower earlier that day. In her present condition, undressing in front of the woman was an absolute no-no. Rachel saw the look of uncertainty on the girl's face, and decided to clarify. "Just throw it out of the door when you take it off OK?" She smiled at the blond and pretended she didn't see the look of relief on the girl's face as she left, pulling the door closed behind her.

She went to her drawers and looked through her clothes for some sweats, which were the warmest (and longest) things she owned, thinking about how Quinn had just reacted. She was surprised at the anxious face the girl had made, because she seemed so confidant about her body. _And she should be,_ the woman thought as she removed the items of clothing from the drawers and deposited them on the bed. _It's not like those uniforms leave much to the imagination. Anyone can see she's absolutely stunning. There's barely an ounce of excess weight on her, just enough for some amazing curves, and she's got a face like a freaking angel._ Rachel shook her head at the power of genetics, and the power of a teenage girl's mind to convince herself that she had anything to be embarrassed about, trying not to allow her face to become flushed at the thought of her student's body. As she heard the door open and the clothes drop behind her, she turned around, ready to scoop up what she thought would be a pile of wet clothes deposited on the floor through a small gap in a mostly closed door. Instead, what she saw was a very half-naked, very much still wet from the rain Quinn Fabray, in white underwear. Wet white underwear. Wet, white, see-through underwear. And that's where everything went wrong.

**_Ohhhh, cliffhanger! _**

**_Alright, don't worry, the next one is already written and maybe if i'm feeling nice i'll post it tomorrow. It's actually one of my favorites that i've written so far, second only to the last one i wrote, which is a bit trippy, but still good (i hope)._**

**_As always, if you think i've totally jumped the shark, give me a heads up and i'll try and rein it in. I go on Christmas vacation in like five days so expect a massive updating frenzy!_**

**_Comments are always appreciated, and so are you reading peeps! ;)  
_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_So here's part two of the peen discovery, and it's MASSIVE (pun fully intended). _**

**_Remember when i said that my chapters could take you like a full week to read? Well this is one of them. I just couldn't decide where to break, so i didn't, and it ended up being twice the size of a normal chapter.  
_**

**_I hope this covers a little more of Quinn's feelings. There's no massive ridiculous leaps into some crazy relationship, but the feelings are growing, so we're getting there ;)_**

**_Thanks for all the follows/comments etc. It's nice to know people are interested._**

**_Enjoy ;)  
_**

**Chapter 5**

Quinn was standing stock still, eyes wide in terror and face twisted in horror. Rachel was confused at how upset the girl was about being seen in her underwear, but tried her best to ignore it and carry on as if nothing had happened. She smiled gently at the girl and bent down to pick up the uniform that Quinn had dropped in her shock. And as she was bending down she caught something out of the corner of her eye. Something that she definitely _wasn't_ expecting. A bulge, and the outline of something that could **not** be there, through the wet white cotton. But there was no denying it, and because of the basically see-through cotton, no mistaking what it was. Rachel straightened rapidly, her eyes widening in absolute shock and her face beginning to tinge with pink. Her arms were hanging limply by her sides, left hand clutching the damp clothes she had just picked up. Her jaw was working up and down, but she could not think of a single thing to say as she met the girl's eyes. The hazel that looked back at her was watery, and Quinn's face was pale. She looked like she was about to throw up. She grabbed the door handle and turned tail into the bathroom quicker than Rachel had ever seen anyone move in her life. Rachel called out to the girl pleadingly as she heard the lock click. She brought her right hand up to her right temple and wiped it down the right side of her face, over her wide eyes and down to her lips, in shock. She walked backwards from the door and when she felt the bed, slid down onto the floor with her back against the side of the mattress for support, her legs crumpled under her. Realizing she hadn't blinked for a solid two minutes, she snapped out of it and her mind began to form thoughts again.

**_Holy Fuck _**was the only initial reaction she could conjure. _Well, I guess this explains the isolation_. _I know if … if that was me…in high school, I would probably just have wanted to crawl into a corner and die._ She then realized that Quinn hadn't made a single noise for the five minutes that she had locked herself in the bathroom for; no sobbing, nothing to indicate she had sat down, not even a breath. Rachel was still recovering from the shock, so she decided to try and gather her thoughts then reassure the girl. Realizing that the wet clothes that were now under were making a damp patch on the back of her thigh, she decided she would deal with them first, as it was the simplest task she would be required to perform, and thinking was problematic at that particular point in time. She wondered if Quinn would try and escape from the house unseen if she knew Rachel had left the bedroom. Finally deciding not to say anything, she got up and walked into the kitchen, putting the uniform in the drum of the dryer and turning on the machine. She bent and leaned her elbows on the top of the dryer, resting her face in her hands. As she covered her eyes though, all she saw was a memory, the Quinn's grief-stricken face that day she had found her in the choir room. Beautiful blond hair cascaded around her face, hiding her red eyes, arms wrapped tightly around herself, and graceful shoulders shaking in grief.

_OK Berry, it's time to get your shit together. She's probably freaking the fuck out right now. It's a shock, but she's still the same young- _she hesitated** -**_**woman**__, Berry, woman - that you thought she was when she got here. That she __**was**__ when she got here, and __**still is**__. She's probably thinking I'm calling the local news or the police or something. And she still isn't wearing any clothes which can't be helping. She needs me to be a friend._ She took a deep breath, and in true Rachel Berry style, marched right back into the bedroom, prepared to work through the awkwardness. She went to the door of the en-suite, wondering whether to knock or try the handle, or if that would freak the girl out even more. She grabbed the clothes that she had intended Quinn to wear and sat Indian style on the floor, directly in front of the mahogany-colored door and about two feet back, with the clothes to her left, ready to hand to the girl. Some kind of modesty would hopefully help her in some small way. Taking a deep breath, and considering what she was going to say, Rachel quietly called out.

"Quinn?" She waited a moment, but there was no reply. _Not exactly a shock_ she mused, deciding to continue regardless and hope that the blond would at some point respond.

"Quinn, it's OK." _Actually, that's probably the last thing she wants to hear Rachel you dumbass. OK, persevere! _"Look, I know you're probably freaking out right now and trying to figure out some James Bond-type escape route in there so you never have to see my face again, but I'm OK." _Oh, yeah I'm sure she feels better now that __**I'm**__ OK_ she thought with an eye-roll. "I mean, I can't say that I'm not shocked, but you're still you, and I'm still me. I'm not going to tell anyone or anything like that, and I'm not going to freak out and call an exorcist, I swear to you." She went quiet for a moment. "You can trust me Quinn." She gave the girl a moment to digest what she had said, then, praying she had gotten through to her, called out again through the door.

"I have some clothes out here for you. You must still be freezing cold. Look, I'm right behind the door. I'll leave them right next to the opening so you can grab them without me seeing you." She waited for a few moments, but still didn't hear any sound from behind the divide. Rachel sighed, deciding that she needed to reassure the girl even more.

"OK, look. I'm going to leave the bedroom so you can come out and get the clothes, and if you still want a shower go ahead. I'll be back in ten minutes though. I know that you're totally freaked out, but please don't try and leave, I want to talk with you about this. There's nothing to worry about, I promise you. But just so you know, the French doors are locked, so you can't leave without me seeing you. If you want to just go home when you get dressed and not talk I'll drive you home, but please don't just disappear." Still silence, Rachel couldn't even hear a breath from the girl.

She nodded slowly, to reassure herself that she had done what she could more than anything, before walking backwards a couple of steps and turning around, exiting her bedroom and going to the kitchen. She looked at the clock on the DVR as she walked past the shelves next to the fireplace: 17:56. She wondered what time the girl's parents were expecting her home and decided that there was nothing she could do until the blond was ready to talk. She went to the wine rack under the dividing counter in the kitchen and grabbed a glass, opening a bottle, pouring herself a small amount, and taking a steadying sip. She knew she would have to drive the girl home later, but a little wouldn't affect her driving ability, and it would really help to calm her down. She sat in her favourite Victorian style armchair in the living area (making sure to check she couldn't see into her bedroom from her seat to allow the girl some privacy). Looking out into the dark garden through the rain-splattered windows in front of her, she contemplated what she would say when Quinn was finally ready to talk.

Quinn heard the bedroom door shut as Rachel left the room and released a stressed, raspy breath. She wiped the tears that had silently been falling down her face since Ms Berry had seen exactly the last thing that Quinn had _ever _wanted _anyone _to see. At first Quinn thought that she hadn't noticed anything, but as the woman bent down to pick up her clothes, there was no doubt about what caught her attention, and when the woman straightened again, there wasn't a question in her mind that the brunette knew her deepest, darkest secret. All she could do was hide behind the locked door and hope for god to strike her dead, but when that didn't happen she just stood there in her underwear in the middle of her teacher's bathroom, crying and not knowing what the _fuck_ to do, and thanking whoever would listen that the quick view of the brunette's modest, yet utterly appetizing, cleavage was counteracted by the cold of her soaked underwear and shock. After a couple of minutes, Ms Berry had tried to talk to her again, and suggested that she put some clothes on, but when Quinn heard that she was just behind the door, she couldn't bring herself to unlock it. She was sure that the teacher wasn't trying to grab her or anything, but she was still just frozen in place. Now that the woman had left the room, it left Quinn free to open the door and grab the clothes. Still, she only allowed a second for herself to unlock the door and slip an arm out of the crack, before grabbing the clothes and re-locking the door.

Sitting on the floor with her back to the door, she threw her head back against it hard, closing her eyes and trying to swallow the nausea back down. Sitting on the tiles she realized that she was still ice cold, and decided that taking a hot shower might make her feel a little better. She turned the handle and allowed the spray of water to become scalding hot. She peeled off her soaking underwear and put them on the radiator to the left of the door before getting in, hoping they would dry quickly. Usually, when it was her time of the month and she had to be naked in an unfamiliar place, she felt a little bit paranoid, especially if she was attracted to whoever owned it (and _god _was she), but in spite of the fact that Ms Berry was ravishingly beautiful, something that she had only realised that day while staring at her secretly while in detention, she was too exhausted from her previous shock to even think about her usual paranoia. She hissed slightly as the scalding water hit her cold skin, but it was a high quality pressure shower (of course) and helped relax the girl's tight shoulders a little. Sighing and resting her head against the glass of the shower, she looked down in between her legs, at the appendage which had essentially ruined her life, and in all likelihood alienated the one person who could make her happy. She figured that's what other girls must feel about the parts of their bodies that they hated, and wished hard, as she did every time the extra organ made its appearance, that her only body-woe was a fat ass. At least she could do something to battle that. Her parents had refused to pay to have the problem dealt with themselves, and although the girl had been saving since she had started getting an allowance, and even more once she was old enough to get a job, she was nowhere near having enough.

She sighed, realizing that Ms Berry said she would be back in ten minutes and it had probably already been about six. She turned off the flow of water and grabbed the towels that had been left out for her. She covered her face with one and breathed in the scent of the detergent the woman used for a moment, judging it as some kind of jasmine, before drying off properly and putting on the clothes she had been provided with. They were overlarge sweats, an extra-large royal blue Juilliard hoody and gray sweatpants, and at that time Quinn was grateful for them. She put on her (thankfully dry) underwear, and then put them on, enjoying the warmth and comfort they provided, toweled off her hair and tied it up in a messy bun before dropping the used towels in the basket. With one hand on the door handle, she took a steadying breath before unlocking it, closing her eyes and walking out.

Opening them, she saw that the brunette hadn't returned yet, and, not wanting to be the one who made the first move, she decided to sit on the edge of the bed and wait. With her secret out, Quinn decided that all semblance of decorum and propriety was out of the window and sat meekly with her hands in her lap waiting, not worried about how weird (or kind of hot) it was sitting on the brunette's bed. Eventually she heard the door to the bedroom open, but she couldn't bring herself to look up at the woman as she entered the room. The mattress to the left of where she was sitting dipped, and they both sat facing the open door to the bathroom for a long minute before anything was said. Eventually Rachel turned to the blond, who looked totally lost and afraid.

"Quinn" was all Rachel managed to say in a soft voice before the blond dissolved into tears, not moving or looking anywhere but her hands. Not knowing what else to do to comfort the blond, Rachel softly wrapped her arms around the younger woman's body, allowing her to bury her face into Rachel's shoulder. Her body shook with the strength of her crying, just like it had on the first afternoon they had spoken in the choir room. Rachel's hands softly rubbed up and down the girl's shoulder blades as Quinn desperately gripped the shirt on Rachel's back. They stayed that way for a good ten minutes. Rachel decided that at least she knew the blond probably wasn't going to avoid her if she was allowing herself to be this vulnerable in front of the teacher.

Quinn wasn't sure if she was crying because her secret was out, because of the life that she had which she blamed on the secret Rachel had discovered, or out of sheer relief that someone else knew. Whatever it was, she knew she felt better when she finally stopped. She pulled back from Rachel eventually, waiting to hear what the woman was going to say. It definitely wasn't what she expected to hear.

"You hungry?" At this unexpected question the girl actually managed a watery laugh, before looking up at her teacher's smiling eyes and nodding. As cheesy as the attempt was, it had surprisingly worked at assuring the girl she wasn't about to be shunned. The brunette stood up and pulled Quinn off the bed by the hand, leading her into the living room without dropping the comforting contact, and telling her to make herself comfortable on the couch. It was antique Victorian style, deep and wide, and the girl sank into it comfortably. A couple of minutes later the woman returned, handing the girl a mug of cocoa and a plate with a plain bagel, toasted, with nothing but butter on it. Quinn couldn't have been more grateful for anything else if she had tried. For some reason the plain, hot food was comforting. Looking up at the woman from her position on the couch, she said a quiet "Thanks Ms Berry" to indicate her gratefulness, but upon hearing that, the woman sat down next to the blond, pulling her legs up underneath her and chided her.

"Oh, no way, nuh uh. If we're having this conversation you're calling me Rachel. It's ridiculous enough to have seniors call me Ms Berry at school, but doing it here, while we're about to have _this _conversation, is nothing short of ludicrous." Quinn nodded her agreement.

"OK then, thank you, Rachel." The teacher nodded encouragingly as she took a sip of cocoa, and she was half way through one half of the bagel before Rachel said anything.

"So, do you think you would maybe explain a little of this to me?" the singer asked calmly, still watching Quinn eat. The girl's chewing slowed down as she met chocolate eyes with uncertainty. Rachel tried to reassure her. "It's ok, if you don't want to I'm not gonna force you, but I have to admit I'm a little confused." Quinn took another bite of the bagel, and chewed pensively. Eventually making a decision, she quietly said "OK" before awaiting Rachel's questions with a mixture of trepidation and interest. The older woman was taking the discovery much better than she had ever expected that anyone would.

Rachel looked up, considering what she was going to say. "Feel free to tell me if you're uncomfortable or you think I'm pushing it." she emphasized with a strong look. Quinn nodded, still eating. Rachel exhaled.

"OK. Um, have you always had it?" She asked directly, hoping it wasn't too blunt. Quinn picked at the side of the bread, putting tiny bits into her mouth, considering how she was going to answer the question. She decided that honesty and truth were pretty much the only logical ways to go. There wasn't really anything she could say that was much more scandalous than what the woman already knew.

"No. It's kind of complicated really. It's not there all the time. Or, at least, it isn't so…visible." The girl looked over at Rachel's confused expression and elaborated. "The first time it happened I was thirteen and I was scared out of my mind. I screamed, and my mom ran in and saw me. I think she screamed louder than I did. My family aren't exactly the most liberal people, y'know?" Rachel nodded with a grudgingly affirmative response. "Well, the first thing she wanted to do was to get rid of it, so she took me to a doctor. He sent me to another doctor etc. etc. until we got some kind of answer. They told me that I had been born with it, but it was…uh…internal, and it went unnoticed. But when I was started my period, the hormones caused it to become engorged and…" The girl realised how graphic it was starting to get, and froze, but Rachel encouraged her to continue.

"It's OK Quinn, I'm not gonna freak out. You can keep going." The girl sighed and continued where she had left off.

"Well, the hormones in my body cause it to…uh…grow, I guess, until it looks like a normal penis. It's like the world's most horrific PMS ever." This was clearly a thought that Quinn had had before, and she said it so bluntly that Rachel laughed, which cut through a lot of the tension. Quinn actually smiled a little herself, and ate the last bite of her bagel.

"OK, so it goes away again after your period then?" The girl nodded. "Wow" Rachel emoted "that's incredible." This surprised Quinn, who really didn't expect to hear anything so positive from the woman. She guessed it kind of was interesting, in an objective sciencey kind of way. Rachel continued asking questions as Quinn sipped on her cocoa.

"Alright, so, and stop me if this is too personal, but do they both, for lack of a better turn of phrase, work?" At this Quinn choked slightly into her cocoa. She was sure that the question hadn't been intended in exactly that way, but it sounded as if Rachel was asking about whether she could use it for sex. It wasn't exactly a comfortable subject for her, because she figured it would never happen for her. Turning to the teacher and looking at the benign curiosity in her beautiful chocolate eyes, she decided that she could at least try to answer diplomatically, seeing as she had gone so far. She cleared her throat.

"Uh, yeah. I'm actually a pretty rare case. There are other people who have this condition, and they're impotent in either one or both sets of organs. I have full use of both, although, obviously, I can only use one when the other is" she cleared her throat "uh, out of commission?" she ended awkwardly, wincing and cringing internally at her words. Rachel though seemed too occupied in thought to really notice.

"Oh my god. Wow." She was silent for a moment and turned to look at Quinn. "This is crazy! It's incredible. I had no idea it was even possible!" She seemed to realise that she was kind of gushing and weirding Quinn out a little before laughing at her own behavior and apologizing. They were silent for a moment before Rachel continued her questions. Quinn considered how incredibly open minded Rachel must be for her only thoughts on the subject to be fascination. It just made her seem like an even more amazing person really, and Quinn's heart swelled slightly at the thought.

"So is this one of the things that was upsetting you the other day?" she asked thoughtfully, looking out of the window above her feet, which were resting on the coffee table in the middle of the seating area. Quinn nodded, and replied softly.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean it all just built up that day. I knew it was coming in a few days, and I guess the hormones and the thought of having to deal with it again for a week, plus the more long term implications just made me lose it. It's part of what makes me feel so separated from everyone else, because I'm scared no one will ever know me completely. But it's not the only thing. And then at the same time it's all part of the same problem. It's about how, to those people, at that school, if you're in any way different you're worth nothing. I don't like the same music, or books, or tv shows or whatever. The only reason I'm accepted at all is because of my face and the fact that my family has money." Rachel nodded slowly, looking down at the glass of wine in her hands that she had been nursing since earlier that night, and Quinn continued. "When I think about stuff like that, I get scared that no-one will ever accept me, and I'll be judged as not worthy purely because I'm different. I'm scared I'll never find love, or real friends, or have my own family, because of things that I can't change."

Rachel considered how the girl must feel every single day of her life. The strength she realized it must take her made Rachel's heart wrench. Without really thinking about it she reached out and grabbed Quinn's left hand and squeezed it. They were both silent for a while before Rachel asked another question.

"You said you went to a doctor because your mom wanted to get rid of it. Why didn't you?" Quinn sighed. The woman had hit home on a tender area.

"Well, at the time, the doctors said that if I had it removed it could mess with my hormones as I was still going through puberty, and it could cause some major problems with my development. My parents decided that if I had to wait until I was an adult before I did anything about it, I would have to pay for it myself, as an adult." Rachel laughed dryly.

"Wow. There's a let down." Quinn nodded sagely

"Mhmm. I've been saving for years, but it's probably going to take until I've been out of college for a few years before it will happen."

"You still want to go through with it?" Rachel asked. She was worried that Quinn would get upset by the question, but the blond answered calmly.

"Yeah. I really can't see any other option. I mean, how am I ever supposed to be intimate with someone when I'm like this? I'd never be accepted. I would just freak people out." She began fiddling with her nails, trying to seem nonchalant. Rachel saw through the girl's façade to the true feelings she was trying to hide, fear and vulnerability. She needed reassurance, someone to trust.

" Why would you think that? I mean I found out, and I'm not running away or screaming."

"No, you're not, but…I don't know, you're just different to everyone else I know. " Rachel smiled. "And it's different. We're just talking, we're not, like, _doing_ stuff." Both women shifted uncomfortably, because each had individually thought about it. "If I wanted to…be intimate…with someone, and they found out, or something happened with someone I liked at an…inopportune moment, they would freak. Hell, if it was someone else, _I _would freak." Rachel could see the girl beginning to break down again, and tried to lighten the mood. She tutted, saying "That's what's wrong with kids these days!" Quinn laughed a little at this, replying

"Kids? Oh yeah, 'cause you're so much older and wiser." They both laughed, but Rachel rolled her eyes and replied.

"I'm serious though. Most people think that falling in love and having sex are the same thing. I hate to disappoint you, but they're not. You're supposed to do one before the other, and to be honest, most teenagers get it the wrong way around." She was quiet for a moment, watching the blond's reaction before continuing in a more serious voice.

"I know it seems like the same garbage that everyone else is spewing to people in high school, but I promise you that there is more to love than sex. And if you're worried about sex, then falling in love first is a good thing. You can explain the situation calmly to someone who loves you after you've been together for a while, rather than catching someone who isn't in love with you completely off guard when you're in bed together, and causing them to run out and never have the chance to find out if they love you or not." Quinn didn't reply to this, so Rachel leaned over to and nudged Quinn with her shoulder. "C'mon Quinn. I know, and here we are, talking like we did yesterday. You're not a monster or a freak, you're a good person and you're worth getting to know intellectually before anyone needs to know anything about you sexually." Quinn looked over to her teacher and gave a shy smile, showing that she acknowledged what had been said to her, before she leaned forward to put her mug on the coffee table and sat back, closing her eyes and leaning her head back on the sofa. "Well, I think you and I might be the only people who think that, so it could be a problem. Rachel knew how close to the truth the girl was and left a troubled silence. Eventually, trying to lighten the mood, Quinn broke the silence.

"So. Two dads, huh?" The blond asked casually. If Rachel knew about her life, she figured she had permission to know a little about Rachel's. After all, it was she who had mentioned it in the first place. Rachel nodded the affirmative in reply to the question. "What was that like?" Quinn asked, genuinely curious.

"Extremely dramatic. Probably more than this situation to be honest. And probably more embarrassing at puberty too. Try getting your first period and having only men to guide you through it. " They both knew she was teasing and slowly dissolved into giggles for minute, glad that the tension was pretty much completely removed by it. "Actually, I'm grateful for it. I mean my parents are like most parents, they did everything they could for me, paying for music, acting and dance lessons, coming to every one of my recitals, kissing it better when I hurt myself. But it also gave me a unique perspective about open-mindedness and acceptance." Quinn nodded slowly.

"Sounds nice" she murmured, eyes still closed.

"It was. It still is." Rachel agreed.

Shifting a little and sitting up, Quinn decided to push her luck and ask an even more personal question, figuring Rachel could just brush it off if she didn't want to answer .

"So…who was the woman in the picture on that shelf?" She didn't want to sound teasing, she was genuinely interested. When she had realized her own attraction to women she just figured it was another defect that came along with the male appendage and tried not to think about it too much. Judging from the way that Rachel and the woman had been lip locked in the photo however, her philosophy about her attraction to women was more accepting. (_Of course it is, she's accepting of __**everything.**_) Rachel squirmed in her seat but decided not to brush it off.

"Oh. You saw that, huh? I was hoping it was too high." Quinn smiled smugly.

"You forget, I'm quite a lot taller than you." At this Rachel scowled, but rolled her eyes playfully.

"Um, alright. Her name was Nadine. We were co-stars in a production of Rent while I was at Juilliard. That photo was actually of our first kiss. And it was the first time I ever kissed a woman." Quinn nodded but her face remained neutral. She thought for a minute, before realization took her.

"Was that the secret that made you act out in high school? Oh, but your Dads were gay, you wouldn't have had a problem with it.""No, actually Quinn, you're right. I was freaked out about it. I didn't want to be gay." Quinn quirked an eyebrow in question before Rachel continued. "At school, there was a lot of homophobia. One guy came out and after, he got shoved and harassed all the time. The people who knew I had two dads taunted me a lot. They were so ignorant. They all ranted about how my dads raised me to be gay and I was gay too. I was _so _angry. I just wanted to prove them wrong, to show them that the stereotypes were wrong and not all people who were raised by gay parents were gay themselves, so any time I felt anything for another girl I would push it down, thinking that I couldn't be gay, because my dads _are_ gay." At this Quinn bit her lip, feeling sorry for the woman.

"I know." Rachel continued. "It was a stupid reason to deny my feelings. And because of it I lashed out, and got into a lot of trouble. You are so much stronger than I was at the time." Rachel emphasized. She didn't understand how Quinn could remain so staunch. "I was essentially a good kid, and my teachers knew that. I got good grades, but when I did stuff like start a fistfight with the captain of the football team, they couldn't not give me detention." At hearing this, Quinn's eyes widened, the visual of Rachel jumping on some Karofsky-like jock replaying in her mind, the rage lighting her dark eyes, her tiny fists shaking in fury (her tiny skirt riding up as she jumped…). She shook her head to stop the inappropriate thoughts from reaching her crotch. Rachel figured Quinn was picturing her in a fistfight with a huge jock and laughed. Quinn was pulled out of her thoughts and began laughing too, until it faded into a comfortable silence.

After sitting for a time and watching the rain, Quinn looked over at the DVR and realized with a bit of a heavy heart that she needed to get home.

"Um, would it be OK if you drove me home now Rachel? My parents will be back, and they'll be annoyed if I'm not there for dinner in half an hour." The brunette nodded and stood up, walking across the room and into the kitchen to get the girl's uniform out of the dryer. She folded it up quickly and put it into a plastic bag before handing it down over the divide to the girl. She then walked down the step towards the dining table and grabbed her keys off it.

"You can just keep the clothes and give them back to me another day OK?"

"That would be great, thanks." The girl smiled. They walked over to the door and Quinn held it open for Rachel, before she followed her out to the car.

The drive back to Quinn's house was spent, much the same as the drive to Rachel's, listening to music, every now and again interrupted by Quinn giving Rachel directions. When they finally reached the Fabray home the lights were on, so she knew her parents were back. Looking over at the brunette woman in the driver's seat though, she was a little disappointed to be leaving. Her deepest darkest secret had been revealed to the woman but she was still sitting across from Quinn, looking at her with a beautiful smile that made her feel warm. It was a nice feeling to be accepted; it was something she never thought in a million years would happen. The feeling was mostly alien to her, and so she didn't want it to end so quickly, but it would be weird if she didn't get out of the car. It was also nice that someone so beautiful wasn't looking at her with contempt or jealousy, as if she was a threat, but instead with bright fondness.

"I want to say thank you Rachel. You didn't have to turn the car around and pick me up today. If you hadn't you wouldn't have been burdened with all of this. But you've been so gracious about this whole thing. I'm really grateful, for the food, the clothes, the ride, the shower, but the thing I'm really grateful for is the acceptance. I've never had anyone other than my parents find out, and they're still not as cool with it as you are." Rachel smiled widely at the girl, dazzling her and leaving her mid blank for a second. Quinn saw why her Juilliard professors said she would have made it on Broadway. She already knew the woman had talent, but lots of people had talent. Rachel had presence to go with it.

"Quinn, there's no need to thank me. I know what it's like to be the outsider, or to think you'll never be accepted. But you're a good person, and that's all that really matters. Once I got over the initial shock I realized that you've been the same person all along. And remember, I meant what I said earlier. I'm not going to freak out, or treat you any differently. But more importantly, I swear on my fathers' lives that I won't tell another living soul without your knowledge and express permission." Quinn smiled, knowing that the woman truly meant what she said, and trusting her. Rachel leaned across the console to give the girl a hug. She leaned into it and inhaled the scent of her shampoo slightly, not a natural scent but still pleasant, like from an expensive salon. "Thanks Rachel."

"Of course" she replied pulling away. "Although as soon as we get back to school tomorrow, I go back to Ms Berry, OK? I mean, otherwise people might think something weird happened." Quinn laughed at this and teased the woman.

"Well, Rachel, if I didn't know any better I'd say I thought you just _liked _being called 'Ms Berry' It must be the authority going to your head." The woman pulled a face.

"Maybe I do like it. Just don't tell anyone, OK? It's more fun when they think I'm only in charge begrudgingly and don't really want to be an authoritarian, and then I smack them down like the hand of God for fun." Quinn laughed again as the teacher winked at her, realizing that she had laughed more on the day that she had thought would be the worst day of her life, than she had for months.

"OK, I promise." She opened the door and turned back before she closed it. "Thanks, Rachel, for everything. See you tomorrow." The teacher smiled and waved through the window at the girl as she closed the door, then watched her run through the rain to the porch, ring the doorbell and walk in as her mother answered, before driving away smiling.

**_So if you made it to the end, i salute you. I hope it was up to scratch after the cliffhanger._**

**_The story takes a little bit of a different turn now, but i think it's only for about 3 or so chapters. I hope you guys like it, and it doesn't change the feel of the story too much. I'll post it in a couple of days and see how you guys find it._**

**_Reviews are encouraged as always :)  
_**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hai everyone! Sorry about the slightly extended upload-time. I somehow decided it was a good idea to stay awake for two nights in a row and ended up getting sick. Anyway, it's up now, so yay.**

**Thank you for all of the reviews i've been getting so far. They've been really positive and i feel totally special. They're also making me consider a lot of things that i otherwise wouldn't have, so four for all you Glen Cocos!  
**

**This is more of a linking chapter than anything. It pushes everything forward and has some cute flirting too. Yay!**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Chapter 6**

Over the next couple of days, Quinn Fabray walked with a spring in her step. "She must've gotten laid" were the first words to come out of Puck's mouth when he saw two freshmen accidentally knock the books out of Quinn's hand, and not get decimated by her wrath. They received a polite "Don't worry about it" and a smile, before she bent down to collect her books before continuing down the hall.

The truth was, she was happy because she was on her way to music class, and if there was one thing that could brighten a day, it was singing for an hour and effortlessly getting an A on her permanent record. _And with such good company too_ the girl thought, rounding the corner into the door of the choir room. As she trailed behind some of the others in the class, exchanging a quick smile with Rachel who was standing next to the piano, she found that there was a book placed on each one of the seats, entitled "Beginners music theory." Curiously, Quinn picked one up and placed it in her lap as she turned back around and sat on the front and center chair.

Usually the front row was occupied by the boys. Quinn figured that it was because they got brownie points for paying attention. Rachel, who knew better, turned around to pick up another copy of the book that was behind her on the piano, bending slightly and pausing to give the guys a good look at her ass in the tight pencil skirt she wore. Her behind was eye level to the front row of the seats, and the guys that had noticed how much better the view was had taken to sitting on the front row. She knew it was pretty wrong for her to do encourage their objectifying and indecent behavior, but from what Rachel could learn in the teacher's lounge, the only person they would concentrate for was her, and by the looks of the rest of the staff, she expected that this was the reason. The every time she turned back around to face them, they all had suspiciously quick head jerks and eye movements, and Rachel had to stifle a laugh at how easy teenage boys were and how glad she was to never had dealt with them when she herself was a teenager. As she flipped the book open she saw Quinn out of the corner of her eye around the pages, and looked at her to confirm what she thought she saw. The blond had a vacant look on her face, her eyes trained directly in front of her (approximately where her male counterparts' eyes had been a moment before), but they were unfocused, in a dreamy gaze, rather than looking in another direction as theirs were. Rachel looked back down at the pages of the book with a quirked eyebrow. She dismissed what she was thinking as coincidence before clearing her throat, which snapped the blond's eyes back up to Rachel's face, and addressing the class.

"OK everybody, as much as I love fun and games with you, we're now into the third week of the semester and I can't really get away with not teaching you anything any more. Although I will try and make this fun. I know that your last music teacher was…uh…unconventional" _or totally fucking useless_ Rachel thought, as she remembered looking over Sandy Ryerson's lesson notes with disdain. The man had been replaced for a reason. She continued "but you do actually have to come out of this class at the end of the year knowing something about music. And to do that we'll need to start from the beginning for some of you. Before I go any further, has anyone taken any music theory exams, or taken any grades in an instrument?" Rachel paused as a couple of hands around the room went up, including Quinn's. She politely asked each person what they had taken and what grade, which were all fairly low as she expected (a couple of guys had grade three or four in drums or guitar before they stopped taking the exams, and a couple of girls with grade two or three in flute and violin). She assumed most had either given up playing altogether or had stopped taking the exams because the theory and actual exams were a pain in the ass. She left Quinn until last.

"How about you Quinn?" The girl hesitated. "It's OK, i'm not gonna ask you to perform on stage or anything, I just want to know about how much experience you have before I try teaching you something you learned when you were ten." They smiled at each other for a moment before Quinn answered.

"Well, I played piano up to grade seven, but I stopped before eight because I became the captain of the Cheerios last year and I didn't have enough time to be tutored for the grade five theory exam I needed to pass before I could take eight in piano." Rachel was impressed at this, as not many people stuck with playing instruments. The girl must have been good.

"OK, good." The woman nodded and flashed a wide smile in her direction. "Although you might get a little bored for the next few weeks. I'm gonna have to come up with something to keep you occupied." She said this with a pretend little frown on her face (that curled up at the corners), balling her hand into a fist and placing it just under her chin like Rodin's "Thinker" as she looked off to the side. Quinn almost died at the adorableness of the pose, and tried hard to keep the smitten blush from her cheeks. "I guess you could help me out teaching? It's always useful to have someone explain something from another perspective" Rachel suggested. At this the blond nodded and smiled, willing to help out the brunette if she could. Rachel was glad the girl didn't have any issues with it. Some students would have been worried about being in a position of authority over their peers. Then again, this was the HBIC she was talking to. Quinn _lived_ in a position of authority over them. Rachel broke from her thoughts and continued the lesson.

"Alright, so today we're just gonna go over some basic terminology for you to get used to. I'm going to repeat them so many times you'll be able to remember them asleep, drunk, stoned, passed out, whatever. Music will be a second language to you guys by the time I'm done with you. But prepare to overcome some wicked boredom." she laughed slightly. The class smiled back. They looked unenthusiastic, but still listened with at least feigned interest as she gave them each term and explained what they meant, stopping periodically as she called on students to recap something from earlier in the lesson. About 45 minutes after the beginning of the class she brought out a quiz, and called Quinn up to pass them around the room. Quinn looked at the papers with her brow furrowed, and a slightly worried expression. On seeing this, Rachel was worried and made her way right in front of the blond on the other side of the piano as the class quietly talked amongst themselves. She spoke quietly. She may be the teacher but she was still very new to the school and teaching itself. She didn't want to do something to make her look foolish and lose the respect of the students, and often worried that something would go majorly wrong and make her look foolish. Teenagers could be cruel and if she lost their respect it would lead very quickly to her downfall as "the cool teacher".

"Quinn, what's the matter?" She questioned quickly, indicating to the blond she was about to ramble nervously. "Is there a mistake on them or something? I'm pretty sure I checked them over and-" The blond cut her off with a sharp sigh.

"No, Ms Berry, it's not that. It's just…" She growled in frustration, and the brunette raised her eyebrows at the girl in warning. She stepped forward into Rachel's personal space so she could speak to her without anyone hearing. Rachel forced herself to look down at the floor instead of two inches forward, directly into the amber flecked hazel of Quinn's sparkling eyes, or slightly lower at the softly curving pink of her lips, which happened to have made a couple of **very** inappropriate cameos in her dreams. "Listen, Ms Berry, I really don't want to overstep any boundaries, but, look at them." Rachel turned to the rest of the class, who were still occupied talking to each other. They mostly had sleepy expressions on their faces, some resting heads in hands, some yawning. In short, they were bored.

"OK, Quinn, I see what you're saying, but there's not much I can do about it. I don't have a miracle cure for boredom and I don't have time to plan something else." Quinn hesitated, but decided to just get on with it and make her suggestion. It was a little presumptuous to question the woman's teaching methods, but Quinn knew the students of WMHS better than anyone else, and she wanted Rachel to be successful. At worst the woman could only say no, and she had told her, while she was in detention, to be honest with her and she'd try to be rational about it. Quinn hoped she would listen.

"OK, when you join the Cheerios, there are two books that are required reading: The Art of War and The Origin of Species." Rachel smirked incredulously with an eyebrow raised, knowing full well that 90% of the Cheerios had not completed their required reading. The expression wasn't lost on Quinn.

"I know what you're thinking, but I **did** read them and there's some pretty solid advice and information in those books. Firstly, know your enemy, and secondly, survival of the fittest. The reason Sue makes us read them is because we're supposed to be superior to the rest of the students and the two books are totally relevant to that. To know your enemy is to have power over them. It's how they work. I know them, I have power over them, and what they need, is a little natural competition."

"So, what Quinn, you want me to make them battle to the death instead of doing a pop quiz?" said the woman in a skeptical tone with an eyebrow raised (a trait she had subconsciously picked up from the blond).

"No, no battling to the literal death." She deadpanned with her head cocked and her eyes wide. "Just the metaphorical death. Pit them against each other. Musical knowledge competition, sudden death style." Rachel considered the idea for a moment, before deciding it was inspired and breaking out in a grin.

"Actually, that's genius. Plus it means I can see who's trying to cheat much more easily." They smiled at each other before Rachel called out to the class. "Alright. As totally enthralled as you all look for my, if I do say so myself, brilliant pop quiz, let's mix this up. Everyone on your feet."

Slightly confused, the class stood up. Moving to the front row of chairs, the teacher pointed her arm approximately down the center of the group.

"OK, everyone on my left is in the first group. Everyone on my right is on the second. Go down to the front of the room and each make a single file queue with the front person of each team in the middle of the line facing each other." They all moved, ending up with the first person of either queue in the middle of the classroom facing each other, and the rest of their teams lined up behind them.

"Alright, everyone has one life. When I name a musical term you have to define it. Whoever replies with the correct answer first keeps their life and goes to the back of the queue, the next person to answer correctly goes to the back of the other, regardless of where you started. If you loose, go sit down and listen. Whoever is the last one left wins. Quinn will judge who replies the fastest and who loses their life." When the class heard what they were doing, their faces changed to interest, then to excitement and determination. Rachel realized that Quinn had been totally right. This was exactly what they needed to get them going. She had to admit that the girl knew just how to manipulate the students in front of her, and she wasn't sure if she was glad or not. She shook off the disturbing thought of how manipulative Quinn could be and concentrated on asking the questions. The students got really into it, cheering loudly at the result of each question, the queues getting shorter rapidly, until there was only one question left to answer. The final winner was one of the guitar-playing guys with a couple of grades under his belt, unsurprisingly, and as a prize she let him off homework for the night as it was only filling out the pop quiz paper for revision anyway. As the bell rang she warned the them all to make sure they didn't lose their copies of the theory book on pain of epic ranting lecture as they were brand new, and most of the kids smiled at, or thanked, her as they left.

As Quinn went over and collected her bag from the floor by her abandoned chair, ready to leave for the end of the day, Rachel called her over.

"Thank you Quinn, it was an inspired idea. Sometimes I forget that people just aren't as interested in the subject as I am. Or as keen to prove their knowledge in pop-quiz format." The girl laughed at her upon hearing this.

"It's cool. Thanks for listening. I figure some teachers would really _not_ want to take a suggestion about how to teach their class from a student, but you did tell me to be honest with you." Rachel nodded slowly."Yes, I did. And I'm glad I followed what I what **you** said too. You really know how to handle them." She tried not to let the little sliver of worry at this fact seep into her words, but somehow Quinn caught it.

"I know, it seems bad, but people are creatures of habit. Once you figure out certain things about them it's easy to get what you want, especially with teenagers. I guess I've always been good at it. Plus I usually have a lot of time to study them what with my lack of social life and all." She shrugged and half-smiled. "When Sue asked me to be head cheerleader, she told me that you need something special to be in charge of her Cheerios, and that I have what she wanted. She later told me that it was because I could manipulate people so well." Rachel looked down uncomfortably, and seeing this Quinn continued "So that's why I make an effort not to do it any more, when I realize what I'm doing." Rachel looked her in the eye and nodded slowly in approval with a hint of a smile. Feeling comfortable around the girl, and being used to total honesty in her life, Rachel admitted "I'm actually really glad you helped me out. I have a healthy amount of pride, but I'm still pretty new to this whole teaching thing, and I'd rather they didn't revolt and tie me to the piano while they burned all my sheet-music or anything." She laughed nervously at the statement and looked down at her shoes, rubbing her left elbow with her right hand. Quinn saw the self-consciousness in the woman and knew that she needed reassurance, much as she herself had needed it the day before."Oh, you've got nothing to worry about Ra - I mean, Ms Berry."

"It's OK Quinn, as long as it's not in school hours and no one's around you can call me Rachel."

"Alright then. Rachel, you don't have anything to worry about. Everyone really likes you. You're serious about what you do, but you don't take yourself too seriously. You help everyone out whenever they need it, you're willing to joke around with us, but not in that uncomfortable 'I'm your friend' way like Mr Schuster the Spanish teacher does. The boys will _not _shut up about your-" At this, Quinn's eyes widened and she froze mid-sentence, realizing what she was about to say. She wasn't sure, but she was fairly confident that saying 'the boys will not shut up about how sexy your ass is or what color thong they think you're wearing today ' to a teacher would make even Rachel uncomfortable. (The boys had decided on black silk, Quinn's money was on cream lace). She closed her mouth, which she realized was still hanging open, when she saw Rachel's smirk. Quinn rolled her eyes. "Well, it looks like you _know_ what the boys will not shut up about?" At this Rachel gave a single slow nod and laughed silently. "Suffice to say, then, that the entire student body is enamored with you. Enough so no to tie you to the piano anyway" she finished with a wink. After a brief pause, Quinn found she had nothing left to say and decided she would probably be required to leave the premises, even though she found herself not wanting to give up her view of the sparkling cocoa-colored eyes in front of her. "Anyway, um, thanks for the lesson, I'll see you tomorrow I guess. Bye"

Quinn shifted her books to her hip and made to leave the room but Rachel began to speak.

"You know, I didn't actually ask you any theory questions today. You could have lied about it and I wouldn't have known." Quinn looked back at her with a smirk and an eye-roll.

"Oh, come on Rachel, do you really think that I would lie to you about something as dumb as that after what you found out about me?" Rachel's shoulders shook with a light silent laugh as she shook her head.

"No way. To be honest I was just trying to see if I could get an impromptu performance out of you. So, wha'd you say?" She asked gesturing to the piano. "Any chance?"

Rachel noticed that Quinn's fingers flexed by her sides, but when she looked back from the piano her eyes were filled with uncertainty.

"Oh, um...I don't know Rachel, it's been a while since I've played. My parents sold my piano when I became head Cheerio to " pay back the money wasted on ten years of lessons" because I didn't have time any more. Kind of a harsh considering it was them that wanted me to join Cheerios in the first place. But it's been a while. I'm not even sure how much I remember." Rachel's expression changed to one of disgust and her eyes darkened when she heard about Quinn's parents selling the piano, but she was determined to get the girl to play and shook it off.

Rachel stared at her in disbelief. "What's this? Quinn Fabray, who just managed to manipulate a classroom full of eighteen year-olds into enjoying a music theory lesson without a second thought can't play piano in front of one person because it might not be perfect?" The girl met her eyes. "Bullshit."

The single word out of the brunette's mouth seemed to remind Quinn that she was standing in front of a person, not a teacher, and also that she was _Quinn fucking Fabray _and she could do anything she damn well dreamed of. She looked over to the piano, stretching out her fingers again, then turned back to the woman. Her chocolate eyes were soft and honest, and the bravado Quinn had felt boiling up and encouraging her to play melted back down to quiet confidence. She chuckled, shaking her head.

"Well, at least you didn't call me a bitch this time." she teasingly grumbled. Rachel looked down with rueful embarrassment, remembering their first conversation, before the HBIC continued. "To be honest, every time I walk in this room and see the piano, my fingers start itching. I was OK for the first few months of not playing, but after a while I just got more and more of a craving to play again." Rachel smiled, but the girl didn't notice as she went to sit down at the bench. She sat looking at the keys for a minute, before allowing her (slightly shaky, Rachel noticed) hands to hover over the black and white. Rachel tried to be patient, but after a few minutes, she said to the girl "It's OK, you don't have to if you don't want to." Quinn looked over and shook her head.

"No, no. It's OK, I'm just trying to figure out what I can remember how to play. By the time I did my grade seven I was pretty much playing pieces above grade eight. I just didn't know enough theory to pass the actual exam. But they're all like ten minutes long. I was trying to think of something short that I might remember completely. I think I've got something." Rachel walked over and sat down on the chair that Quinn had occupied during the class, reclining back so that her shoulders were resting on the low backrest, and slouching with her arms crossed over her chest, her legs almost completely off the edge of the chair, knees bent at right angles with her feet on the floor. A smug little smile was playing around the corners of her lips. She looked like nothing more than a teenager herself in the rebellious little pose.

"Well OK then." She waited patiently as the brusque first notes of Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 8 in C Minor, 13th movement, number 3 rang out smoothly across the room. She could see Quinn's brow furrowed in concentration as she struggled to make her fingers play the quick pace that she had become less well practiced at playing, and force her mind keep remembering the notes. Eventually her eyes closed and her body swayed slightly to the melody. After a few minutes and very, _very_ few mistakes, the girl finished the song, panting a little, but with bright eyes and a smile on her face. She had forgotten Rachel was there until she heard the small woman applauding from across the room and saw her sitting up and smiling brightly. She grinned, proud of herself for remembering so much. She felt sure that after a couple of months she could reclaim the ground that she had lost over the time she had stopped playing. Then the smile dwindled as she realized she probably wouldn't get the chance to do so; she had no piano to practice on. She remembered when she had snapped and tried to sneak into that very room two months after she had stopped playing, only to find the door locked and have the janitor tell her that students couldn't be on school grounds after hours without a member of staff present.

Rachel got up and walked back to the girl, standing behind her and to the side slightly, squeezing her shoulders, but still looking into her eyes.

"Wow, Quinn, that was fantastic! You are extremely talented. How long has it been since you last had the opportunity to play?" The woman asked enthusiastically. Quinn's brow scrunched up as she thought about it, eventually coming up a with a time frame of over a year and a half. At this the brunette's eyebrows jumped up to her hairline, her eyes widening in horror.

"Oh my god! How did you survive? If I couldn't sing for a year and a half I would have died or murdered someone else by now." Quinn laughed lightly, letting her fingers lazily pick out what she could remember of the slow Adagio Cantabile that directly precedes the piece she had just played in the Sonata. "Yeah, sometimes I felt like I was going nuts. I was pretty close to decking the janitor once or twice and breaking in here so I could play." Rachel laughed at a visual of Quinn dressed as a Ninja and pulling out Karate moves on Mr Kidney, busting down the door with a kick and then proceeding to strip off her body-suit only to reveal a tailcoat, which she flipped over the back of the stool, before cracking her knuckles and pounding out Sonata No. 14 in C minor, 3rd movement, number 3. She stifled a laugh and continued.

"It's impressive that you can still play so well after such a huge amount of time. You are really gifted. You could easily play as a profession if you wanted to. I mean, if I got into Juilliard, they would be incredibly foolish to refuse you." Quinn smiled shyly up at her teacher.

"You think so?" The woman nodded the affirmative silently but Quinn's smile dropped a little, and her fingers stilled on the keys as she replied "No. My parents would never ever let me. They won't pay for me to go to college to play music. They wouldn't even pay for me to start theory lessons or get a new piano at home. And there wouldn't even be any point applying without my grade eight." Rachel's smile dropped too upon hearing this.

"What about a scholarship though? I mean, even if you didn't get a full ride to Juilliard, if you got a partial you could work off the rest. Or, y'now, somewhere like NYU would definitely give you a scholarship, and they still have a really prestigious music department." Rachel despaired as Quinn shook her head again.

"Well, that would be great, except I could never afford rent in the city, and I couldn't stay in dorms because I wouldn't have anywhere to come back to during vacation times. My parents would kick me out for disobeying them." Rachel stepped back from the girl sitting at the piano, sighed and rubbed her forehead. She walked in a little circle before she leaned on the side of the piano facing the girl and looked straight into her eyes.

"You can't do what they want you to do for the rest of your life Quinn, otherwise you'll never be happy. Surely there's someone you could stay with during vacations?" Quinn barked out a dry laugh.

"You do remember what happened the other night when I got locked out of my house, Rachel, yes? I had nowhere else to go so I had to go to the home of a teacher who is…_was_… a relative stranger, and where my darkest secret was accidentally revealed." Rachel realized what she had said and dropped her forehead to the top of the piano for a moment before looking up again.

"What about your sister?" Quinn considered this for a moment, giving Rachel some kind of hope, but it was again dashed as the blond shook her head. "She and her husband have two young kids, and can only just afford the house that they live in, which is pretty cramped. They bought a place in a ridiculously expensive neighborhood for the sake of appearances. They'd never be able to fit me in too. And even if they could our parents would forbid it." Rachel growled in frustration, earning nothing but a blank look from the girl. Rachel wondered why it was that she was fighting harder for the girl's future than Quinn was herself. _Because as far as she's concerned, her future was never hers to plan in the first place_ the teacher realized. She decided to take up a different tactic.

"Quinn, do you love playing? I mean, do you _really love_ playing?" The student closed her hazel eyes and just breathed for a moment before meeting deep cocoa eyes dead on.

"Yes." She whispered. Rachel's chest expanded with joy, because as far as she was concerned it was the _right_ answer, but she tried to keep wraps on it. She hoped her alternative would suffice for now, and she smiled widely at the girl.

"Good. So how about this: Don't make a decision yet. Just get your grade eight and then think about it will you?" Another sigh from Quinn.

"I really wish I could Rachel, but I don't have a piano to practice on, and I can't get the theory down on my own."

"Well then, lucky for you Quinn, I have decided to take you on as a my own personal project. I'm going to tutor you on theory. You are going to practice on this piano right here with me every day after school and after you pass your grade eight with distinction, you are going to consider whether or not you want your future decided on by someone else, or if instead you will think of a way around all the things holding you back and do what you want to do. Got it?" Quinn's eyes widened, before she nodded twice in quick succession, not taking her eyes off the piano keys. A Grinch-like evil grin spread across Rachel's face as she stuck out her hand for the blond to take. The younger woman returned the shake worriedly, wondering what, exactly, she had gotten herself into.

**Alright, so i've hit a tad-bit of writer's block at the moment, so if over the next few chapters you feel a little trippy, that's all me ;)**

**Let me know how you think it's going, etc. All reviews are appreciated. Constructive crit is too!**


	8. Chapter 8

**_So jut in case you're wondering, my pants ARE in fact on fire. I'm a big fat liar. Sorry all the updates i promised never came. All i can say is never work for your parents unless you are impervious to emotional blackmail *grumble*_**

**_Thanks for all the reviews so far, you're all super encouraging.  
_**

**_Anyway, here's the next installment. It's a little fruity, but i guess i'm just like that ;)_**

**_Enjoy!  
_**

**Chapter seven.**

After about six weeks playing again, Quinn had completely astounded Rachel. She was pretty much back to the level that she had been playing at just before she had stopped, which was far beyond the skill level that she would need for the final exam. The first afternoon that she had played for Rachel, she went home and had waited until her parents stumbled up to bed in an alcohol-soaked haze, before padding across their plush cream carpets through the living room and into the dining room. She had hated those carpets when she was young because if even a single speck of dirt found its way onto them she would be punished, but now she couldn't be more thankful for them muting her footsteps across the quiet house. She went into the dresser in the dining room, and silently removed the books of sheet music she had left over. Holding them up to her face, she inhaled the musty smell of the pages that she had missed so much. Some of it was extremely old, handed down from her grandmother when she found out that Quinn wanted to learn the piano. The woman had passed away shortly after that, and the pages of music were the only things she had left of her soft hands and bright smiles.

She didn't want her parents to know what she was doing, as it would just remind them of the anger they felt over "wasted money" (at which thought she rolled her eyes) and lead to awkward questions about why (and how) she was playing again, which she most certainly didn't want to answer, so she tried her hardest to be silent. She collected the stacks of paper and took all of it to school the very next day, where Rachel let her hide it in the bottom draw of her desk, just in case for some reason her parents saw into her locker.

Technically Quinn couldn't be on the property after hours unsupervised, so over the weeks Quinn played in her free periods (Rachel would leave the classroom door unlocked for her), and any lunchtime she could (which were few because of Sue Sylvester's insane Cheerio schedule). She would also play after school for a few nights a week. Rachel sat grading papers and homework while Quinn played. Rachel didn't actually play the piano beyond some chords for vocal warm-ups, so she couldn't really help in that respect, but she was an expert theorist, and any time Quinn couldn't figure out a particular phrase, Rachel read over the page and explained what the notation meant, then sang what notes she could until the student could pick it out on the keys. Quinn was at a high enough level to understand anything that she hadn't come across before by sitting and figuring it out. She would keep running through it until it was perfect. Then, when Rachel had finished grading, or Quinn got tired of practicing (whichever came first) they would go over pages and pages of Rachel's old theory notebooks from her days at Juilliard. The girl struggled with some of the descriptions until they were sang, or played, or in some cases googled, but eventually she was cruising through every old theory exam paper that Rachel could get her hands on.

As the two worked over the weeks, they began to trust each other. They began to change with one another. Quinn mellowed, and had fewer depressed times. She learned from the woman, and began to grow up emotionally, to match how mature she was mentally (_and lord knows physically _Rachel thought to herself on more than one occasion_)_. Rachel found that, living such an isolated life, Quinn had learned to read people very well, and Rachel picked up certain things from the girl. She would never manipulate people like the blond had been able to do so well, but she could see from all the little tells she had learned when a class was loosing focus, or when a student was having trouble and was too embarrassed to ask for help. She became a better teacher, perhaps even a better person, because of the girl.

They had finally decided after a almost two months that the blond was ready for the first step, her theory exam. Rachel had booked it for two weeks before winter break. It was being held in downtown Lima during the school day, so Quinn required written permission from her parents. It saddened Rachel to see the girl so easily trick Mr and Mrs Fabray for their signatures, waiting until late enough in the evening that they were well past being buzzed.

"Mom, dad, we're going to downtown Lima tomorrow for a field trip for music class. Can you sign this permission slip that Ms Berry gave us please?" He father had turned his slightly unfocused eyes towards the girl and held out his hand for the pen and the letter that Rachel had written for her, only taking time to scan it quickly. Seeing the words "downtown Lima", "music", and "Regards, Ms R. Berry" at the bottom, had been reassurance enough for his drunken mind, and he signed it with a flourish, handing it back to the girl then pointing his finger to his proffered cheek. She kissed him lightly and gave him a sweet smile and a "thank you daddy" in her best angel voice. He smiled back satisfied, saying "You're welcome princess" before turning back to watching Glenn Beck on the TV. Quinn had recounted the whole thing to Rachel the next day during their practice, and all Rachel could do was shake her head, appalled at their blatant disregard of their magnificent daughter. It angered Rachel that they knew how talented she was, and yet in their eyes it counted for nothing. It angered her that they were not absolutely amazed with their daughter every single day, and instead of encouraging her, tried to control her as if she wasn't good enough to make her own decisions. It angered her that they hurt their daughter every single day and didn't even realize it.

The night before the exam saw Rachel and Quinn sitting next to each other on the piano bench, Rachel's right shoulder snug against Quinn's left. They had done some quickfire testing, but it was clear the girl knew all she needed to. But rather than going home early, they stayed. Rachel had said "play something for me", and Quinn had obliged her, playing little pieces with Rachel singing along. It ranged from solemn choruses of "Papa Can You Hear Me?" to them bursting out laughing when Quinn let "The Bear Necessities" ring out across the room. When the laughter died down they sat quietly for a minute, just leaning against each other on the bench. Rachel didn't want to leave, both because she had noticed that Quinn was nervous, and for another reason, something she didn't even allow herself acknowledge was true. Feelings that she knew that she shouldn't, and couldn't, have had sprung out of the ether. She had asked the girl to keep playing and let the notes sooth her soul of its torment, pushing the feelings back down to be reflected upon another time, when the beautiful blond wasn't touching her and she could concentrate. She broke the silence to find out how the girl was feeling. Rachel knew that you had to draw the cheerleader out of herself, but when you did she was always honest. The woman looked over at her and nudged her slightly to get her attention.

"Alright Quinn, we both know you've got this exam in the bag. Why the nerves?"

Quinn turned slightly, hazel eyes meeting deep warm brown. She sighed, realizing that the woman could now see through her previously impenetrable front, and almost wished she hadn't explained to the woman how to read people so well. Almost.

"I…It's just…" She hesitated, her mouth still open. Rachel prodded her in the ribs and gave her a gentle smile.

"C'mon Quinn, you know you'll feel better if you're honest." She raised her eyebrow reproachfully at the blond counteracting it with a small lopsided smile. Quinn had her eyes trained on the peddles at her feet, shoulders hunched, but she nodded slowly. She inhaled deeply, preparing herself.

"It's just that, for all intents and purposes, tomorrow is the day I agree to say goodbye to my family, my life, my entire world up to this point." Rachel was confused, but gave the girl time to continue. "I'm doing this exam without them knowing, with the intention of eventually using it to do something that they may as well have forbidden me to do. I'm going to pass this, get my grade eight and apply to a college they disapprove of for a degree they disapprove of" Rachel allowed a small smile at this as Quinn had basically admitted she was going to go through with it all. "And while I know nothing's set in stone, in all likelihood, when they find out they won't talk to me again because I deceived them, won't fund my education, and once I leave the house I won't be allowed to return. Essentially, doing this tomorrow will give me a maximum of six months of a normal life before my world gets torn apart and I have no home, money or family. I'm standing on the brink, and part of me is wondering if it wouldn't just be better to go to Law school, be the daughter they expect me to be and have an easy life."

Rachel looked at her stunned, the smile wiped clean off her face. While she knew in the back of her mind that her parents having a bad reaction was most likely the case, she hadn't let her conscious mind really register it because it was Rachel who had encouraged it in the first place, Rachel's fault. Now, faced with the girl's stark reality, she realized how terrified Quinn must be. And she realized how much the girl must trust her to go through with the plan. Holding Quinn's head with hands over her ears, the woman turned the blond to face her and stared into her eyes for a moment. Finally, after what seemed like an age to Quinn, she hissed "Don't. You. DARE. Give up on this."

To say Quinn was surprised was an understatement. Finally Rachel seemed to realize the intimacy of the position, sharing the bench, knees pressed together, faces scant inches from each other, and stood up rapidly, letting go of the girl's face. She paced, trying to clear her head a little. She had to calm down and explain her behavior to the girl rationally. She didn't often let her emotions get the best of her, and Quinn was relying on her to be the clearheaded adult that she needed in the situation. She finally turned back to her when she heard a small voice call "Rachel?", realizing that the expression on the blond's face was one of fear. This instantly sobered the singer, and she began to explain.

"I'm sorry Quinn. You know I don't act on impulse like that often. But that's how you know I'm serious." She re-took her seat on the bench next to the blond. "You've told me that you've been unhappy your whole life because you're trying to live up to their expectations all the time. You know that you don't want to be a lawyer. I've seen the look on your face when you play. I recognise it; it's the same feeling I get when I sing. It's joy, pure unadulterated joy that comes from deep inside yourself. Please don't let fear stop you from doing all you can to grab it with both hands. You have the talent to do it. It's your chance to be happy. I want you to be happy." Finally the woman seemed to deflate, hanging her head as she finished what she was saying. "Look, I can't tell you what to do. But I can tell you that if you don't do this it'll be the biggest mistake that has been made in the world of music since Dr. Spock released an album." Quinn laughed shakily. At some point during Rachel's talk her eyes had closed. She finally allowed her head to roll to her left slowly and rest on Rachel's shoulder.

"OK. That's all I needed. As long as I have some support from someone, I can do this. It'll probably suck at times," she conceded with a chuckle "but it's gotta be better than denying everything that I truly want for ease of comfort" She left her head resting on the woman's shoulder, feeling exhausted and tense, but comforted by the contact. Rachel's right hand moved up Quinn's back and squeezed her shoulder as she allowed her head rest on the top of Quinn's. Both women's breathing slowed to a sleepy rate. Rachel, whose guilt had finally found a conscious outlet, realized she really didn't know how Quinn was feeling in regards to her involvement.

"Quinn?" The girl's head tilted slightly upwards but she didn't lift her head from Rachel's shoulder and she raised her eyes, as if trying to look through herself into the Rachel's brown. "Did I force you into this?" Rachel asked in a small, scared voice.

Quinn considered her reply for a moment before answering. "Did you force me into following my own dreams instead of accepting a life I hated? Yes." She felt Rachel's breathing pause. "And I just realized I haven't said thank you yet, so thank you. If it wasn't for you I would be a one person pity party for the rest of my life because I didn't have the balls to do what I wanted. So to speak." Both women smiled lightly, and Rachel, knowing she shouldn't, mind _screaming_ that she shouldn't, turned her head so her nose was buried in Quinn's hair and kissed the crown of the blond head softly. She knew the girl wouldn't be uncomfortable about it, considering she was the one who had started the intimate contact in the first place, but Rachel's conscience was telling her she was pushing it too far for their student/teacher relationship to withstand. She allowed herself to bask in the stillness that swaddled them for a moment, before swallowing her guilt and sitting up.

"Alright youngster, I think it's time we got home, you need your rest before tomorrow." Quinn nodded, chuckling at the nickname the woman often called her (in response to the fact that every time it had come up Rachel insisted that their ages were hardly different at all) and got up, sliding the bench under the piano as Rachel gathered her things from her office. The Cheerio walked over to the door and waited for Rachel to catch up with her before hitting the lights. They walked out to the parking lot together, as they did every night that they stayed to practice, which was usually about twice a week, but had been every weekday of the two weeks that had passed since Rachel had booked the exam. They parted when they reached Rachel's car, which was much closer to the front doors than Quinn's as she was a member of staff. Rachel shot her a smile, telling the girl "Meet me in the choir room at ten with everything you'll need OK? See you tomorrow" and giving her a beaming smile. Quinn nodded and smiled in return, making her way to her own car.

She waved to the woman as she heard the engine start up and slid into the driver's seat of her own car, it being too cold and dark to walk home any more. As soon as she got in, however, the smile that was painted on her face slid away, and all that was left was worry and shock. Her skin gradually turned pale as she let the emotions settle in, and she felt like she might vomit. Burying her face in her hands she listened to the other woman's car roll out of the lot before she let out a resounding sob. She had no idea what she was going to do, not about the exam the next morning, but about the feelings that she had been trying and failing to subdue. Feelings for Rachel. Her teacher Rachel. Her friend Rachel. The woman she owed so much to.

When those soft, pouty, beautiful lips had pressed against her scalp, she knew that the feelings she had been ignoring were not going to be denied any longer. She had always found Rachel attractive. Even on the first day of the semester, which happened to be Quinn's special "time of the month" she could not keep her eyes off the petite woman. When the brunette had been goaded into singing by Puck, and schooled him with a rendition of In My Bed, Quinn had to excuse herself to calm her hormones enough to _lay her little problem to rest_. Then, weeks later when she had found Quinn in the choir room, she looked, to Quinn's tear-blurred eyes, like nothing short of an angel. As they had spent more and more time together, Quinn found her chest getting tight each time one of those dazzling smiles had been just for her. But it was only when she saw how passionate the woman was, about music, about teaching, about getting Quinn to follow her dreams, that the arousal had been mixed with a much deeper, darker, scarier feeling. Trying to deny it time after time, sometimes Quinn couldn't help herself but to let her fingers brush across the brunette's skin as she turned a page when they were practicing after school, or stare at her unblinkingly in a class. That evening was the first time she had allowed her feelings to best her enough to rest her head on the woman's shoulder, but she had been emotional and exhausted, so she barely managed to stop herself there.

If it had been any other teacher it wouldn't have happened, wouldn't have been a problem, because it would have just been a schoolgirl crush, not _this_, this feeling that hung low and hot in her belly and squeezed her lungs and filled her brain with static. This serious, real emotion. If it was another teacher there wouldn't have been any repercussions because it never would have got that far. But Rachel was more her friend. The only part of her that was a teacher to Quinn in formal terms was the part that meant that nothing could ever happen.

Quinn was closer to her than anyone else. She needed her. She couldn't, just_ couldn't,_ be feeling anything for her more than friendship. It would ruin everything if the brunette found out, it would be so awkward. But Quinn had to tell her, to keep the integrity of their relationship. She couldn't lie to the woman, not after everything that had happened. The realization that she had no choice but to tell her how she felt, and destroy everything their friendship was, made the tears begin seeping through her fingers and down her arms onto her uniform, but she couldn't stop them from flowing. She cried hard, harder even than when Rachel had first found her in the choir room. That time she was crying because she had no-one; now she was crying because she might lose the only person she had, the only person who defended her, laughed with her, looked out for her, listened to her, and would go back to being alone again, which was infinitely worse. And more than that, she was crying because she would be losing the woman she had fallen in love with.

Eventually, the tears stopped flowing. She felt numb. Looking at the tiny glow of the clock on her dash in the darkness, she realized that unless she left then and there she would be late for dinner and would be questioned by her parents about where she was, and she didn't have the energy to lie any more. She turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the lot, arriving at home without being able to remember how she got there. She kissed her mother and father on the cheek as usual and sat in silence eating what could have been ash for all she knew, as her parents talked about their days and ignored her. When they had finished she excused herself from the dinner table and dragged herself slowly up the stairs to her room. Not knowing what else to do with herself, she undressed, took a shower, got into her pyjamas and was in bed by 8:30, staring at the darkened ceiling. The minutes rolled by and turned into hours before the exhaustion of the day caught up to her and she drifted off.

The haze of a dream caught her and swallowed her up. She was falling, and as she fell time passed faster and faster. She knew that if she didn't find a way to stop herself she would keep falling until she hit something, and when that happened everything would be over. She twisted and turned, thrashing around and reaching out for anything that she could grab on to, but there was nothing there. She cried and screamed in desperation until she looked and saw the ground coming rapidly closer. All she could do was close her eyes and pray that it wouldn't hurt too much. But instead of the expected impact, she felt warmth spreading from the crown of her head down through her body, and she felt the air rushing by her face slow down. She opened her eyes again, looking up to see what it was that had saved her.

About twenty five minutes across town, Rachel Berry was lying in her bed, a small, half-drank glass of red wine and a copy of On The Road on the nightstand, having a dream of her own. She was flying, which wasn't rare for her. She always figured it was because she led such a stress-free life, so her dream-self was often floating around aimlessly and care free. This time, however, was different. In the warm darkness that she spent her dreams floating through, she could hear screaming. It was the scream of a voice that she knew, but her mind couldn't grasp who it was. All she knew was that the voice was of someone in trouble, and she needed to get there post haste. Turning herself in the direction of the screams, she flew, for the very first time, with a purpose. She was going faster than she had ever gone before, the motivation of desperation urging her on. Slowly, through the darkness, she could see a glow of golden light growing brighter and moving rapidly towards the ground. Rachel went even faster and began to swan-dive downwards towards the light, her arms spread out to her sides and behind her, her head directing her motion. The light was more and more clearly being emitted by a person, the person who was screaming. In a second Rachel knew that if that person were to hit the ground the light would extinguish, and letting it happen would be the worst mistake she had ever made. She finally found herself scant millimeters away from the blond head of the girl who in the haze of her dream she still didn't recognize, whose eyes were closed tightly in fear, and she instinctively knew what to do. Stretching her neck, she allowed her lips to gently press against the crown of the girl's head, and their uncontrolled descent slowed rapidly. Without her lips losing contact with the blond locks, her body fell from her upside-down position, the contact between the two the center of her rotation, until she was upright and her arms were around the woman she had been so desperate to save, the woman she now recognized.

The two of them sank further down, eventually coming to rest on the piano bench that they had been sharing earlier that evening. There was nothing there except the bench: no piano, no room, no world. Just them and the seat that they were sitting on. They were in the same position that they had been earlier, Rachel's lips pressed against the crown of Quinn's head and one arm around her, Quinn's head on the brunette's shoulder. Both of them had their eyes closed. Together they inhaled deeply and allowed their eyes to flicker back open slowly. They moved their heads apart, keeping their legs pressed alongside each other's, and locked eyes. Quinn's hands came up to lovingly caress Rachel's face, brushing off the few tears that had escaped her eyes, and Rachel's hands came slowly up to mirror the younger woman's. They smiled at each other finally, and wiped each other's eyes.

"You caught me." Quinn said, the amazement in her voice not lost on the brunette.

"Of course." Was the quiet reply she got. "I had to." Rachel spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. There was silence between them as they smiled and their watery eyes stayed locked, brown and hazel merging until they felt like they saw as one. Quinn continued.

"How did you know I was there?" She sniffed a little and laughed nervously as Rachel's thumbs lightly brushed away more tears.

"I was waiting for you there. I heard you. I've been waiting for you for a long time." was all the reply she got. It was all the reply she needed. She nodded slowly, still lost in pools of liquid chocolate.

"I'm here now. You don't have to wait any more."

They sank into each other then, burying heads into each other's necks, sobbing freely and arms gripping so tight around each other that if it wasn't for the assurance of their strange mental connection in this dream world, they would be afraid they were hurting each other. But in that place they knew that what they both wanted was to hold tighter until they became one. Then they suddenly heard a discordant buzzing break through the silence of their world, and realised that they were running out of time. They began whispering into each other's necks, trying to convey every last emotion to one another.

"I've got you. I'll protect you. Make sure you remember that. I love you. I love you. I love you." Rachel punctuated each declaration with a petal-light kiss on either of the blond's cheeks, still clutching at her face.

"I promise I'll remember. I promise I'll call out for you. Wait for me. It won't be long. I love you so much." As Quinn said this she looked once more into the woman's eyes, and slowly leaned forward. As she allowed her lips to brush against Rachel's, eyes squeezed closed trying to staunch the tears, she felt the kiss returned, even if their lips only met for the briefest of moments. Rachel's lips were soft, and warm, and _home_, and momentarily Quinn felt at peace before she was torn away.

Quinn opened her eyes to bright pale light streaming through her unclosed curtains, and she grabbed the phone from the nightstand next to her bed which was buzzing with a 5am text attack from Santana, throwing it across the room at the wall to silence it. As she tired to make her brain cling to the smokey memory of the dream, she made a mental not to make Santana run extra laps in practice that day. She could swear she heard an echoing voice whispering "Call out to me."

Reluctantly, Rachel opened her eyes from whatever perfect world she had been in during her dreams. She was already forgetting most of it, but there was one part that she remembered clearly. The dream was about Quinn, and as she peeled herself out of bed and trudged to the shower, cursing the wine she had drank the night before, she could think of nothing but the blond's voice whispering to her. As she sighed, the hot water caressing her body, and rested her forehead against the cool tiles, the voice repeated inside her head again. "Wait for me. It won't be long."

**_So as always, get in touch, tell me what you thought. _**

**_I know it's a little heavy in the drama dept. at the moment, but i love me some good pseudo-angst. I'll try and write something a bit more fluffy, but for now you have a lot more torment and angst ahead.  
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**_I'm running low on the stuff that i pre-wrote at the moment, so it'll probably be like one update a week or so until i get my writing groove back. Hope you're still enjoying :)  
_**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey all, hope you had a fantastic (insert wintertime religious/atheist celebration here). Thank you for all of my comments/reviews so far. It's been really interesting. Even stuff people just say in passing is making me think about the actions and outcomes, so keep doing it please?**

**Alright, so this is my angsty chapter**. **Lots of description. I wish i could make this into a movie and see if it all worked (slash watch Lea Michele and Dianna Agron act it out... ;D )**

**I think it's actually a little shorter than the others, but there's some good stuff here. At least I think so.**

**Enjoy!  
**

Chapter Eight

Of course, in spite of her knee nervously shaking and foot tapping on the carpet of Rachel's car the next morning, Quinn passed her theory with distinction. Rachel, being a Juilliard alum, had contacts everywhere in the music world, and as it was getting to the point where Quinn desperately needed to apply for colleges, she had called in favors to get the results of her exams same day. A couple of days later (thanks to some more of Rachel's contacts) she had taken her Grade eight piano exam, and passed, again with distinction (nothing less would suffice in Rachel's books). Quinn had written her applications and essays, had gotten a letter of recommendation from Mr Wilkes the English teacher (who positively gushed because she was always so far ahead of everyone else in the class), recorded her intended audition pieces for Juilliard and had added copies of her final grade certificates, before sending everything off by the end of November, just in time for the December deadline to music programs at NYU, Juilliard, UCLA, OSU (just in case) and, just to make sure her parents had something to distract them from looking too much into everything, applications to Yale and Cornell.

The evening of the day they had sent the applications off found them sitting together in the choir room. They weren't speaking, but they both knew there were things that needed to be said. They had grown so close to each other over the past couple of months, and while they both wanted to continue as they had been over the past two weeks, spending one on one time together every day, it was inappropriate for a teacher and a student to do so without the pretense of doing something vaguely academic. This topic was a common theme in both of their thoughts. They knew they weren't supposed to feel the way they felt about each other, knew it every time Quinn almost slipped and called her Rachel in front of the class, or when Rachel found herself staring into hazel eyes and talking solely to the blond when she was supposed to be addressing the other people in the room as well, but that didn't make it any easier to stop feeling that way.

Neither had forgotten what little they woke up from their dream remembering. The parting words of each played out in their heads again and again, although neither had any recollection of the events in the dream leading up to them. What Quinn did know, was that she was keeping a secret from the one person she could be honest with, and now that it looked as if they would be spending less time together anyway, she decided she had to finally admit her feelings. She knew that the woman wouldn't treat her any differently, but it would put tension between them, and she was dreading it. Looking from her place on the risers for the umpteenth time at Rachel, who was sitting at her desk grading papers, Quinn sighed violently. She had to say something, and she had to say it that night. But the feelings bubbling inside her were strong, and she needed to get rid of the anxiety and be calm when she said it. So she did the only thing she knew would work. She got down from the chair and took her place at the piano.

As the first brooding notes of Piano Sonata No. 23 in F Minor, movement 57, part one billowed out across the room, Rachel put down her pencil knowing what was coming, not just in terms of the music, but what would come after. Rachel, having more experience in the situation, could see the girl was feeling guilt, and it was something the blond felt towards herself that caused it. Quinn didn't recognize that Rachel had exactly the same feelings though, and she was playing the piece (which was over ten minutes long) to psyche herself up, to release some of the tension before she told Rachel how she felt. Rachel accepted with quiet amazement the fact that Quinn was brave enough to be about to say how she felt, even though she didn't realize that Rachel returned the feelings, and thought she was about to commit emotional suicide. Clearly Rachel hadn't admitted the feelings that she had been having to the blond either, but that was for a more serious reason: if Quinn knew that her feelings were returned, and she tried to take it further, Rachel wasn't sure she could stop herself.

As the notes took off into a more aggressive part of the sonata, Rachel turned to face where Quinn's back was to her, and allowed the alternating anger and calm of the piece to wash over her, accepting all of the pain and fear from Quinn's notes. Rachel was preparing herself, but she wasn't sure yet whether it was to say no (like she should do) or to say yes (like the deepest part of her soul yearned to). Finally, Quinn's fingers rapidly assaulted the keys for the last part of the piece, something her fingers did not have the speed or the stamina to get through two months before. Rachel allowed her eyes to fill with tears, both of pride and fear, before she quickly blinked them away; it wasn't her moment to feel sorry for herself. As the notes finally faded out, Rachel stood and walked to the piano, behind where Quinn sat with her shoulders hunched and her chest heaving. The blond stood up slowly, not knowing the woman was behind her, and turned on the spot, throwing her head and shoulders back in preparation, only to be met with the face that occupied all her thoughts right in front of her. Desperately she blinked back tears. Both standing upright facing each other, two feet apart, Quinn breached the silence.

"Rachel, I…I-"as she stuttered, her voice broke with tears, but her eyes never dropped from the woman's face. She lifted a hand to cover her mouth and shook silently. Rachel nodded and, not being able to look at the girl in so much pain without crying herself, looked at the floor, nodding again.

"I know Quinn. I…I'm…" as she struggled to find the words, she looked back up at Quinn in desperation. As their gazes met, Rachel's eyes widened in realization of how strongly she actually felt for the girl, and despair flooded through her. Quinn's eyes widened in response to this, finally understanding what the woman was trying to say, finally understanding that the situation was so much worse, because her feelings were returned.

They both stepped forwards into each others' arms at the same time, sobbing uncontrollably. As their tears continued, slowly Rachel's head pulled away from Quinn's shoulder, her eyes still closed. Quinn's temple moved to press against Rachel's, and painfully slowly continued to move until their foreheads were resting against each other, then their noses, until finally, still sobbing and gasping shakily, eyes screwed shut against the tears, their lips tentatively met and pressed together hard, so that as they shook from their sobs, they wouldn't part. They didn't move, just stood solidly with their arms around each other, before Rachel pulled away with a quiet wail and buried her head once again into the crook of Quinn's neck, hands moving to clutch desperately at Quinn's back.

It was what had to be done; Rachel had pulled away instead of deepening the kiss. She had been the adult, she had denied herself the one thing she wanted. They knew that nothing more would happen that night, that it had already gone too far. They sank to the floor with their arms around each other and stayed there for a time, not moving, holding each other tighter. They eventually found themselves lying on the floor with their arms around each other, exhausted. Rachel was on her back but had her head curled toward Quinn, with her legs bent at the knee and resting towards her left, and Quinn was on her side, curled into the woman, still crying and unable to pull her face away from the chocolate tresses. Rachel blinked slowly, knowing that they had to move soon or risk the Janitor discovering them. She moved her hand to stroke the silky curtain of blond hair that was partially covering Quinn's face, both trying to brush it away so she could see the girl, and to encourage her to meet Rachel's eyes. Eventually she looked up at Rachel.

Willing herself not to break down again at seeing how red and blood-shot Quinn's eyes were, Rachel pulled her up so they were in a sitting position. She reluctantly removed her arms from the warmth of the cheerleader's body and sat Indian-style with her hands on her knees. Not really knowing what else to do, Quinn mirrored her with her hands in her lap, looking down at them, knowing what was coming. She was aware that Rachel had to be the adult, but it didn't mean that she didn't resent it.

"Quinn."

"No." She replied,s shaking her head, refusing to accept it. Rachel sighed.

"Quinn, I-" Quinn's chin began to tremble and she couldn't look up to meet Rachel's eyes.

"Please don't. Please, I'm begging you. Don't say it." Rachel felt the knife in her heart twist at the girl's pleading tone, but it had to be said.

"Quinn, we have to stop meeting after school. I don't think we should be alone together any more." She paused, before quietly adding "It's too hard. For both of us." At this Quinn broke down again, not sobbing breathlessly like she had been before. This time the tears were streaming constantly down her cheeks and she was silent, but her face crumpled and her head bowed. She was broken. Opening her mouth, all she could think to say was "I don't know if I can do that. How am I supposed to only see you in class? You're not just the person I…you're the only person I've got." With these last words she reached out a hand to where the other woman's was resting on her knee, not trying to convince her, just needing the strength of her touch. Rachel's hand gently gripped Quinn's and her lips began to quiver, her eyes trained to the place where her legs crossed as Quinn finished her speech. "I understand that we shouldn't be alone together any more, but I need to be able to talk to you. Please." Rachel nodded vacantly without looking up, as if to some silent rhythm. She stood up, not letting go of the blond's hand, dragging her upwards. She picked up the pile of their stuff from the table, turning off the lights and marching out towards the door. They reached their place on the steps to the parking lot and she paused. Quinn wondered what she was going to do, before Rachel handed Quinn her belongings. Without even looking at Quinn, she dug into her purse grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, scrawled something on it, shoved it into Quinn's hand, snatched back her possessions from Quinn's arms and marched to her car without looking back. Quinn's eyes followed her. She wanted to call the teacher's name, but she thought that if she opened her mouth she might vomit. She looked down to the piece of paper in her hand, and as she heard the car pull away from the school, she felt a flicker of a smile ghost across her lips for what felt like the first time in years, as her eyes prickled and new tears replaced those that she had already shed.

_419 713 8190 - My name is Sarah._ The broken shards of her heart felt like they had at least been swept together in a pile. She trudged down the steps and drove exhaustedly home. When she got there, she sat disinterestedly through dinner again (if her parents noticed that she looked like she had been watching Bambi's mother getting shot on repeat, they didn't mention it) and sat with her parents for a little while to keep them happy before she slowly made her way up the stairs to her room. She carefully removed everything from her backpack and placed them formulaically on the bed. Dante's _Purgatorio_, her AP Math textbook, History textbook, notepad, pencil case, phone (which was placed reverently in the centre), laptop, and some of Rachel's old theory notebooks. These she took and held to her chest for a moment, imagining that she could smell the woman's perfume (she assumed there was a hint of something like mango or passion fruit in it, sweet, fresh and exotic) still lingering on them. She inhaled deeply, then, placing them into the drawer of her nightstand, she moved everything so she could sit on the bed with her back resting on the headboard. She took up her pencil case and notebook to complete her half-finished math homework, casually, yet pointedly, ignoring her phone.

When she had completed all her homework, she got up and packed everything carefully back into the bag, except for her phone which was still lying unassumingly on the comforter. She paced the room, tidying up little things, re-organizing her desk, and straightening out some pictures, then finally decided to take a shower and get into bed. She lingered under the hot stream long after the suds were rinsed from her hair, but the feeling of her intestines broiling with nerves kept her rooted to the spot. Eventually the water started to get cold, so she got out, brushed her teeth (very carefully, oral hygiene is important) dried her hair, put on her pyjamas, put her dirty laundry in the hamper, closed the curtains, and got into bed. She stared at her phone for mere seconds before she reached forward and snatched it off the comforter. She stared at it for a while until she reached out to her left without looking and grabbed her iPod from the dock on her nightstand. Slipping the silicon skin away from the cold metal surface, she retrieved _the piece of paper_ (where else would she keep something so monumentally important?) and flipped her phone open. With shaking hands she typed out a message and let her thumb hover over the send button.

When Rachel got home, the first thing she did was collapse into the nearest chair, which was tucked neatly under the dining table. She let her head hit the cool teak surface and repeated her old, pre-performance breathing exercises until she thought she could get up again without vomiting. She had no idea how she had managed to drive home without causing an accident. Without lifting her head, she moved her hands from their positions flat on the table either side of her head, smoothed her hair down against her scalp, then looked up towards the kitchen with them still resting on the back of her neck. She had absolutely no desire to eat, but after being in the habit of making sure to eat a healthy balanced meal three times a day for such a long time, since high school in fact, she forced herself to make the simplest thing she could, vegetable-tofu stir-fry, Hoi-sin sauce and rice noodles. As she left the wok to heat, she walked back down the step out of the kitchen and retrieved her bag from where she had dropped it. She removed only her phone, gripping it tightly and seeing there were no messages. When she had finished cooking and put the food onto a plate, she went and sat on her Victorian-style couch and looked out into the darkness beyond the windows. She ate with her feet on the coffee table and her phone propped on a cushion like the glass slipper next to her, finishing rapidly, her ability to use chopsticks partial proof of her time spent with friends in Asia almost two years before. When she realized with a start that she had been finished and staring into the darkness for twenty minutes, she got up and put her used plate and chopsticks into the dishwasher, leaving the wok to soak. Intending to have a glass of wine, she reached up to a cupboard to get a glass out, but on seeing how much her hands were shaking, she decided sweet tea and a hot bath would be a much better move.

By the time she had finished her bath she was getting desperate. She had no idea what to think, or what to do except wait for her phone to ring, so she put it on the dresser to the left of the bed, closest to the bathroom, dried herself off, and, not bothering to put anything on, got under the cool white sheets, pulling the deep red comforter up from its folded position at the end of the bed. She sank slowly into the plush pillows and let the coolness contrast with the heat left on her skin from the bath water and sooth her. She didn't feel tired, but she closed her eyes and allowed her arms to spread out under the sheets like wings, and listened closely for the sound of her phone ringing. She rolled her head to her left, the side of the bed closest to the windows, to look at the digital clock glowing in the darkness. 9:27. She bit back a groan, figuring that it was going to be a long and restless night, and allowing some dark recess of her mind to jokingly whisper a light-hearted grumble about someone playing it cool.

With a jump, she woke up, not quite understanding that she had dozed off until it clicked that the annoying sound she was hearing was her phone buzzing against the dark wood of her nightstand. Her hand shot out and grabbed the vibrating device as she allowed her head to roll to her left again and see that it was 10:39. Hitting the read button with relish, she read the short text smiling, her lips quivering, tearing up slightly, and then re-read it over and over again before hitting reply, and typing up a quick message, wondering whether or not to play it cool, her resolve crumbling before she had even really considered the idea. As she hit send, she rolled onto her front and buried her face into the pillows, right hand still clutching the phone which she slid underneath. She sighed into them. It sounded more like a sob to her own ears, but she didn't allow another one. She closed her eyes in acceptance of the horrific situation she was in, vowing to stay strong for Quinn's benefit, and saw the words which were burned into her retinas, blindingly bright in the darkness; the words she had both received and sent back.

Across town, as Quinn's phone buzzed back into life, she read the words, sighed, and smiled wistfully. Flicking off the bedside lamp she allowed the words on her phone to shine out of the darkness. Words she had never physically said to or heard from Rachel, but she knew were true all the same. Words she had sent to the woman herself ten minutes before.

_I love you._

**So there we have it people, the first kiss _and_ the L-bomb, all in one chapter. I hope it wasn't disappointing, but it totally wouldn't be realistic for them to just hop in the sack now; they haven't gone crazy enough from desire yet ;)  
**

**At the moment i only have one chapter written after this, so I'm gonna have to get over my writer's block and get scribbling, but i will keep writing. I've been considering starting something else as well but i really can't concentrate on more than one thing at once.  
**

**Please keep commenting, tell me if you're enjoying it, or if you think i need to find a new dealer who sells less potent crack. Or y'know, tell me about the new kittens you got for xmas, whatever. I just like reading stuff that you guys say :D  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**OK you guys, the reaction to the last update was EPIC! I got like 25+ comments for the last chapter alone. Seriously, best. Christmas present. EVER! (And thanks for telling me what you got too, although i'm sad to say there were few to no kittens. Bad times.) Thank you so much, you made me feel super special, and i hope you continue to like the fic.**

**Next, i have an entire week off work next week, and i have defeated my writer's block. How, you ask? With a kick-ass sex dream about Quinn Fabray in which i played the part of Rachel Berry. I'm tellin' ya, i felt like a BAMF for the rest of that day. Anyway, expect updates and general excitement.**

**To answer some of your questions, yes, "Sarah" and "Amanda" are aliases. I know that i've had some experience of people phone-raping me, and it's super rude and happens to everyone. And if you're having an illegal covert affair, textual evidence is not good when someone is going through your phone without you knowing. And Rachel Berry is nothing if not thorough about stuff like that. **

**Also, i'm not sure if i'll be bringing in other love interests; this is already going to be like somewhere between thirty and fifty chapters as it is if it all goes the way i'm planning at the moment. Angsty jealous chapters will drag it out even more. But we'll see ;)**

**Anyways, this chapter is slow on the action/progression, but heavy on the emotion again, so i hope you enjoy it.  
**

**Chapter Nine.**

The next three weeks or so before the Christmas vacation were the sweetest hell Rachel had ever lived through. She couldn't sleep at night, for possibly the first time ever, because each time she drifted off she would wake up sweating and too hot. She would kick off the covers only to be freezing cold two seconds later. She knew it was the guilt getting to her, the guilt of not only doing something wrong, but actually breaking a _law_, and in a major way. She could ignore it during the day, but at night her subconscious would call her out. But every time she was close to telling Quinn that she couldn't carry on (even if they were only texting each other) she would receive the sweetest message, from "Amanda" and her heart would melt.

_You look beautiful today Sarah. I wish I could hold you in my arms._

_Hearing your voice makes me glad I woke up this morning._

_The kids in your classes have no idea how blessed they are to have you as their teacher._

But it wasn't as if the Quinn was just talking to her. She was listening, responding. Close to the end of the last week, Rachel's first parent-teacher conferences were coming up, for the seniors, and as confidant a woman as she was, part of her felt as if she was one of the students herself, and trying to talk to a less capable student's parents about why their pride and joy was failing seemed like a daunting prospect. On the evening, she received a text from "Amanda" (who was boredly skulking between each of her teachers as her parents heard "excellent student" "will go far" "Very polite" again and again). Before every student's parents came to sit down, Quinn would send her pointers, like _Very religious/serious. Don't make jokes!_ or _Has no respect for music, don't go into detail._

When she had a moment without stoney-faced parents sitting in front of her, she chanced a quick look at the girl, who returned her gaze with the slightest flash of a heart-breaking smile, before she turned back to the Spanish teacher talking to her parents in front of her. Rachel could see her nodding along, but noticed her fingers moving slightly. Seconds later she received another text. _You are so amazing. You would have been fine without me._ Rachel smiled as she looked down at her phone, quickly typing a message back. _But I wouldn't have felt half as confident. And you could give anyone on Broadway a run for their money with the acting chops you're pulling out tonight. How do you look like you're concentrating?_ She waited a few moments, taking the time to check no-one else was coming her way before the phone buzzed again in her hand. _Haha, years of practice. Like from birth. But you made a really good impression JSYK. I heard Karofsky's dad saying how great you are. The only other things I've heard him be positive about are football and himself._ Rachel smiled at her little victory before a frown crept up as another text came through almost as soon as she finished reading the previous one. _Shit shit shit! Be submissive._ Rachel's brow dropped, wondering if Quinn was trying to push their relationship somewhere totally beyond where it had either the capability or possibility of going, before her eyes widened and she realized what was about to happen. She shoved her phone in her pocket and grabbed her pen, pretending to go over her notes so she looked remotely professional, before she heard a low cough. She looked up smiling, trying hard not to tremble as she stood and took the proffered hand of Russell Fabray.

"Russell Fabray. Pleasure to meet you." He said as they shook.

"It's a pleasure to meet you also Mr Fabray. My name is Rachel Berry, I'm Quinn's music teacher" Rachel said with a wide smile, breaking out her best Juilliard stage face for the occasion. He indicated to his left.

"My wife Judy". He said shortly. The woman stepped forward and also shook hands with Rachel. "It's lovely to see you again Ms Berry." She said demurely, and Rachel returned the sentiment. Rachel, not wanting to seem in any way preferential, greeted Quinn as she had greeted all the other students. She allowed her eyes to slip to her right for a moment, smiling as she asked "How are you this evening Quinn?" They all sat down as Quinn replied.

"Good thanks Ms Berry, and you?" _Russell has her well trained_, Rachel thought.

"Yes, I'm doing very well this evening thank you." She caught the tight-lipped beam that Quinn struggled to rein in from the corner of her eye as she turned back and addressed Russell.

"Well, Mr Fabray, I would firstly like to say that Quinn is an excellent student." Russell nodded, not approvingly, but as more of an acknowledgment. Seeing that Rachel had absolutely no hope of impressing him with his daughter's talent, Rachel decided to just go all out and see what happened. "She's acing all of her assignments, is a great addition to the classroom and is in fact helping me to get the rest of the class up to the standard they'll need to pass the class. I believe she must have had some previous experience?" Rachel smiled, but underneath she was a seething cauldron; the man was a drunk, judgmental and totally dismissive of his own daughter, the daughter that she just happened to be **in love with. **At that thought Rachel's stomach clenched. The opinions she had entertained about Russell Fabray, how horrifically upset he made his daughter, how **scared, **were only held back by the fact that Rachel's feelings for said daughter were totally inappropriate and **illegal,** if only because of her job_**. **_She took a deep breath, and shook off the thought that she should have left when she was reading Quinn's texts, as Judy replied for Russell, who seemed to be slowly turning redder, and unable to reply.

"Yes, Quinnie did have some piano lessons a long time ago, but she gave those up, didn't you sweetheart?" Quinn couldn't look up at Rachel or her mother, just nodded, whilst looking at her shoes. Rachel continued, her smile getting bigger the angrier she became.

"Well it certainly shows, Mrs Fabray. She is extremely gifted." She noticed Quinn smile again slightly but continued to stare down Russell, before delivering her final blow.

"She should really consider studying music at college, you know. She would go so-" Rachel was cut off as Mr Fabray's tongue loosened enough to reply. Loudly. Loud enough to catch the attention of the rest of the room.

"Quinn will do something worthwhile with her time. Music is not a career, it's a hobby." Judy quietly chided him as she noticed the rest of the room's occupants looking in their direction. He closed his mouth, and Rachel did an internal dance at being able to get a rise out of him so easily, even if it was in such a childish way. She smiled back at him demurely, unfazed, but her eyes were dark.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr Fabray. I have found working with music extremely fulfilling." She stopped to look at Quinn, who was a little red. Realizing that it was possible Mr Fabray's anger would not remain directed at herself after he left, she tried to calm him a little for the girl's sake. "As I have said though, Quinn is an excellent student. She shows fine leadership skills in the classroom, is very intelligent and a quick learner. She must have had a great role model in her life." She wanted to punch herself in the face as she said this, trying to play up to his egotism, and Quinn finally looked up at her, with her left eyebrow raised in incredulity. Rachel resigned herself to finishing her brown-nosed spiel with a compliment towards Quinn rather than the odious man that thought he controlled her. She looked directly into Quinn's eyes. "I have no doubt in my mind that Quinn can do whatever it is that she wants to and find success." The smiled at each other before Rachel turned, regarding Judy, whose fear seemed to have dissipated a little, and finally Russell, whose redness was fading as he nodded, diffusing as quickly as he wound up. They discussed (in very little detail) what they had studied in class, with little to no input from the Fabrays.

Russel nodded cordially as he stood to leave, not actually saying anything to the brunette, but shaking her hand again. Judy stayed similarly silent. Quinn, however thanked her warmly as they stood, another closed-lipped smile on her face. "Thanks a lot Ms Berry. See you soon."

"You're welcome Quinn, have a good evening." Rachel smiled back. As the family walked away, Rachel flopped back to her seat in relief. She didn't realize how tense the situation had been until it was over. Between hating the man so much out of principle, trying not to show it, being in love with his daughter illegally, trying not to show **that,** and trying to undo what she had done, it was a roller-coaster 5 minutes. She realized she was sweating a little and decided to go and freshen up in the bathroom down the hall.

Quinn, noticing that Rachel was walking out the door, guessed where she was going. She excused herself from her parents, citing needing the bathroom (which was mostly the truth) before she turned and followed her down the corridor. The conversation with her parents was the closest and most intimate situation that they had been in since the evening Rachel gave her her cell number, and Quinn's hunger had been piqued. She entered the bathroom that Rachel had gone into a minute before, checking that only one of the stalls was in use before turning back and locking the main door. She went over to the sinks and leaned against the one directly in front of Rachel's stall. She crossed her arms over her chest and reclined back, crossing her ankles, a smirk on her face, as she waited for the woman to come out. Quinn heard the lock click and watched Rachel walk about 3 paces out of the cubicle, straightening her skirt, before she looked up and noticed she wasn't alone. Before she could react, Quinn began to talk.

"That." She punctuated it with a step forward, leaving only two feet of space between them. "Was amazing." She smiled and allowed her arms to drop to her sides as Rachel looked around the room, checking to see there was no-one else there before she smiled back.

"What was amazing?" Rachel said, unsure. Hearing this, Quinn allowed all bravado and pretense to drop.

"You. You were amazing. I don't understand how you can go from cute, being all nervous about a parent-teacher conference, to hot" Rachel shifted uncomfortably at the thought of Quinn saying she's hot "getting my dad to snap like that without any effort…" At this Quinn grabbed each of the woman's wrists, pulling them around her back, "to loving and protective in the space of about three minutes." When Quinn was sure the woman wouldn't move her hands from her lower back, she allowed her palms to graze all the way along them until each one was resting on the back of Rachel's shoulders. They stared into each others eyes for a moment before Rachel shuffled a little, knowing she should move. Quinn stilled her by shifting her hands from her shoulders to her face.

"I know I shouldn't have followed you in here, but it's been weeks since I've touched you. I just wanted that warmth, that perfume, that peace that only you have." Quinn said staring into Rachel's eyes. She allowed her arms to tighten around Rachel's neck as she pulled her in, Rachel's arms closing around her lower back. Heads to each other's shoulders, they just stood for a minute, basking in each others presence and nearness. Finally, Rachel lifted her head from Quinn's shoulder and nudged her head a little with her chin. Quinn looked up, and rested her forehead against Rachel's, their bodies flush against one another's.

"We should go." Rachel breathed. Quinn was still for a moment, then nodded in affirmation. As she was about to step away, Rachel's arms tightened around her waist to stop her from moving away. She looked at the woman questioningly before understanding as Rachel's soft, warm, beautiful lips made contact with her own for only the second time ever. It was sweet, and chaste, and made Quinn feel like someone had suddenly yanked her spine out of her back. When they parted a second later all either of them could think was that they wanted more, but they stepped away from each other, Quinn walking back out of the door before Rachel turned towards the washbasins.

The night before they broke for the holidays was particularly unpleasant for both of them. Just knowing that they probably wouldn't see each other for weeks was something neither one could overcome. Both tossed and turned the night before, wishing they could think of an excuse to see each other the next day. Rachel in particular was having trouble sleeping, and she was exhausted. She hadn't slept a full eight hours since the day Quinn confessed to her in the music room. Her immune system was taking a beating, and she knew that she had finally succumbed to something that night when her throat was sore and her sinuses ached. Sighing, and knowing she wouldn't sleep for hours to come, she picked up her phone and typed out a quick text to Quinn, only feeling slightly guilty that it was 2am because they had the whole vacation to sleep.

_Urgh, I'm sick, and I can't sleep. Make me feel better? _Scrolling down to "Amanda" she sent the text and hoped for a (not grumpy) response, knowing that it was possible she wouldn't receive anything as Quinn had started turning off her phone after they had said their nightly I love yous, due to Santana with her relentless morning phonecall assaults.

She lay on her back and rested the phone on her chest, feeling the weight of it as she breathed and counting the seconds. After about five minutes (Quinn always was a little fuzzy in the mornings, it must take her a long time to wake up), it buzzed in response.

_Oh, baby I'm sorry _(they had progressed into pet names at about 9am the day after they exchanged their first texts). _If I was there I would hold you and rub your back. I would kiss you all over until you felt better._ As always, Rachel's heart ached at how sweet the girl was. She had no doubt that she would fall asleep instantly if she was wrapped up in the blond's loving embrace. She closed her eyes at the thought, and wrote back. _I wish I could just rest my head on your chest and listen to your heart beating. _On reading this, Quinn's stomach clenched. She lay on her back with her eyes screwed shut, considering whether or not she should do what she had just thought of. Against her better judgment, she hit the green call button, held the phone up to her ear and waited.

Rachel hit the receive button and looked at the screen expecting to see another sweet text, only for her eyes to widen in shock as she realized that she had just answered a call from the blond. They had been texting for weeks now, but neither had the courage to actually call. Finally noticing that she hadn't said anything for at least forty five seconds but Quinn was still on the line, Rachel, panicking slightly, put the phone to her ear.

"He-Hello?" She grimaced slightly as her voice sounded rough and gravelly, and hurt her as it came out.

"Hi" Quinn whispered, not really knowing why as her parents were clear across the house and on a different floor. Both of them were silent for a moment; they had never had a conversation on the phone and it felt a little awkward, but Quinn realized that she wasn't doing anything to make the woman feel any better, so she broke the silence, although she still whispered as if the situation was too delicate for her to raise her voice.

"I'm sorry you're getting sick baby." she said lovingly. When Rachel heard her speak, and heard her call her "baby" for real, her heart wrenched painfully in her chest, and the only reason Quinn didn't hear her sob as her eyes welled up with tears was because her voice wasn't working as normal. She tried to steel herself to reply.

"I feel better just hearing your voice beautiful." Quinn's brow knotted in pain at hearing Rachel call her beautiful. She had never felt someone's words affect her so powerfully. She knew from the sound of Rachel's voice that it was hurting her to speak, so she decided to stop her.

"Sweetheart, put me on speaker and get comfortable ok?" Rachel wanted to ask why, but she was to tired and achy to question it, and she knew that nothing Quinn would ask her to do would harm her, so she put the phone on speaker and rolled over until she was on her stomach, putting the phone next to her mouth on the pillow, sighing her consent.

"Are you comfortable?" Quinn asked after the shuffling noises had stopped. Rachel just hummed her response, feeling exponentially more relaxed knowing that her love was there in some way. Quinn pursed her lips nervously at what she was about to do, hoping that she didn't totally offend Rachel with her singing. Taking a deep breath, she sang out the first thing that came into her head that she could sing a capella.

"Isn't very difficult to see why you are the way you are,

Doesn't take a genius to realize that sometimes life is hard,

It's gonna take time, but you'll just have to wait,

You're gonna be fine,

but in the mean time;

Come over here lady,

let me wipe your tears away,

Come a little nearer baby,

'cause you'll heal over, heal over, heal over some day."

On hearing the soft lyrics from the speaker of her cell, Rachel felt the tension float from her body. The song was soft and sweet, and with the phone right next to her ear she could almost convince herself that Quinn was there with her. Not hearing any complaint, Quinn continued. She actually thought she heard a sigh of contentment once or twice, which gave her more confidence. Singing to a Juilliard voice alum was pretty nerve-wracking, even if she was singing her sick girlfriend(?) to sleep.

As she finished the song, Quinn was silent for a minute, thinking that perhaps Rachel would have some kind of comment, but she heard nothing.

"Did that help a little?" She got no reply, other than heavy breathing and soft snuffling sounds. Smiling to herself, Quinn understood that Rachel was peacefully sleeping, and was glad that her plan had worked. She lay and listened to the woman breathing for a few minutes, before it began to lull her to sleep herself. She knew she had to get off the phone or risk her parents' wrath when her phone bill came through, although she wanted nothing more than to stay connected all night. She sighed softly.

"Sweet dreams baby. I love you." As the line disconnected, Rachel's brow softened and a smile plucked at her soft lips as she slept.

**(Song used is Heal Over by KT Tunstall, but you probably already knew that...)**

**So i know the girls have been falling into a bit of a self-pitying funk over the past couple of updates, but don't worry, i'm going to try and make the next few a little more light-hearted, starting with the next chapter. As soon as i write it. Which should be soon :s  
**

**As always, tell me what you think, if there should be more pirate sea-battles or whatever. ;)  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Hey everyone! Thanks for all the comments for the last chapter._**

**_This one is pretty light, and it's a little shorter than usual, but i wanted to post something and i wanted a little more time to work on the chapter after this and figure out what's going to happen. _**

**_I'll try to post it soon, but as i guess you've figured out, i'm a little inconsistent with posting times._**

**_Anyway, enjoy!  
_**

**Chapter 10**

Luckily for Rachel, the day went relatively fast. She woke up that morning even sicker than she had felt when she fell asleep; her sinuses ached, her voice was raw and scratchy, her eyes were puffy and bloodshot and she couldn't breathe through her nose. Normally she would medicate herself up to the eyeballs and stay in bed all day, but the medicine did funny things to her and she wouldn't be able to drive if she took anything, so she had to suffer through it. _At least it's only for a couple more hours _she thought to herself resignedly as she rifled through the sheets on her desk. She had decided to go easy on the students (and herself) by throwing The Nightmare Before Christmas in the DVD player and telling them to sing along as loudly as they could ("It's a legitimate Christmas singing exercise!" she had claimed with a small grin towards the freshmen. "Just don't tell Figgins, OK?"). As she looked through her papers for anything she might need to take home with her over the holidays, opening all of the drawers, she opened the one with all of Quinn's sheet music in it, only to find a neatly wrapped present laying on the top. Looking around the classroom to all the students (still in the middle of bellowing "What's This") she picked it up and looked at the tag. _"To Rachel, not to be opened before the 16__th__ of December. x" _

She smiled as she read it, knowing that Quinn would have had to put some thought into finding out when the last day of Hanukkah was. She'd had past long-term girlfriends who had failed to even consider the fact that she was Jewish around the holidays. She was fairly certain that the gift was a CD, and wondered whether or not she would get away with peeking under the paper just a little, when a text message came through on her phone.

_Open my drawer in your desk and don't even DREAM of not following the instructions. __**-A**__. _She laughed out loud at the fact that Quinn knew what she would be thinking, and sent her reply.

_I already found it… __J __**-S**_

_Oh…did you already open it then? L __**-A**_

_Hehe, no I didn't, but I would have if you didn't text right when you did. It's kinda creepy how well you know me. __**-S**_

_Umm, is it creepy, or is it incredibly sweet and romantic? __**-A**_

…_Shut up. But yes. It is sweet and romantic. Thank you. __**-S**_

_You're welcome. Not that you should have expected anything else. So how are you feeling today? I saw you between first and second and it didn't seem like you were having a good time L __**-A **_

Rachel sighed happily at the way Quinn phrased this. Most people would say "you looked terrible" or something and only make her feel worse. Somehow Quinn had ninja skills and knew exactly what to say to make her meaning clear without making Rachel feel bad. She didn't want to lie, but she didn't want to sound self-pitying either, so she tried to be casual about it.

_Honestly, I've been better, but it's ok. You're making me feel good. Plus, in about an hour I can go home and medicate the crap out of myself._

Quinn had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing at the visual of Rachel hopped up on cough medicine, flitting around her apartment like a fairy. She was in health class, so she didn't feel particularly guilty about not paying attention, but having her phone confiscated would really put a damper on her day. Grinning discreetly, she replied before her teacher turned back to face her.

_Hey, drugs are bad! Although you feeling bad is worse…I guess I can let it slip just this once. Gotta go baby, I'm getting the stink-eye from Mr Myers. Enjoy your drugs, I'll talk to you later xxx_

Rachel laughed inwardly and snapped her phone closed just as the bell signalled the end of the period. She wished all of the students happy holidays as they left. Some hesitated to hand her a small gift and offer her a shy "merry Christmas" (_Damn Quinn for being so thoughtful about my Judaism. That girl is considerate beyond her years!_). She smiled and waved them off, before packing everything that she would need at home into her bag and quickly rushing off to make herself some herbal tea in the teacher's lounge. It was at least soothing some of the soreness in her throat, if nothing else. She repeated the drill with the DVD, promising herself to repair the damage of a missed class when she felt better, and prayed that the next hour and a half would go by quickly.

After Quinn got home the first thing she did was say hello to her parents and then get in the shower. She had a little over two weeks of freedom, and she liked to start any vacation time by cleansing herself of anything to do with McKinley, including the clothes she wore there last. She cranked up the volume of the music in her room, something she was privileged to do seeing as her room was above the formal side of their large house (formal sitting room, reception room, dining room, all unused) and the complete opposite side to the living room and her parent's bedroom, which was an attic conversion. When she finally felt like she had completely got school out of her system (her homework was mostly already completed as most teachers just put a movie on during lessons) she flopped down on her bed without bothering to put anything more than panties on, and grabbed her phone.

Disregarding the few texts there ("_I call a truce for vacation -Santana", "Sue said she wanted us to practice for Cheerios every day of the vacation. Can I just eat cheerios instead? -Britt", "Nana Connie is sick. Mom had 2 go 2 Nantucket. Party 2nite? -Puck"_) Quinn picked up her phone and dialled the only number she ever called. She frowned a little as it rang for a fifth time, but on the sixth, Rachel picked up.

"Hiiiiii Babyyyyy. J'a miss me?" she said excitedly (and loudly) into Quinn's ear. Quinn's eyes widened as she listened, and then she giggled a little as it dawned on her that Rachel had held true to the idea of medicating up to the eyeballs as soon as she got home.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling now?"

"Oh, soooo much better! I took some pills and something from a bottle, and now I cant feel my tongue. And all the colors are pretty!" Quinn couldn't stifle the laugh at that, which confused Rachel. "What's funny? Ooooh, you know what's funny? Principle Figgins' accent. Like he's from India, but he's not…You know, I went to India… Anyway, I found out he's from Maine. They have good lobster in Maine. Mmmm, I really want lobster now." At that she gasped so loud Quinn was afraid she had hurt herself.

"Baby? What's wrong, are you OK?"

"I wasn't supposed to tell you that I like lobster! I'm supposed to be a vegan. But it's just so HARD sometimes. It was only once, I swear! Quinn, please forgive me, please can you-"

"Baby!" Quinn gasped, laughing so hard she was tearing up. "It's OK! I forgive you." As the laughter settled she heard Rachel breathe a sigh of relief.

"Well that's good then. Because you're really pretty and I don't want you to hate me and you make me feel nice things." At this, Quinn's brow knitted and she awed internally.

"I could never hate you Rachel. You're too beautiful to hate." Expecting some kind of sweet reply, Quinn couldn't help but laugh again as Rachel yelled "Oh my god she thinks I'm beautiful! YESS!" to her apartment, and then proceeded to sing it and woop for the next two minutes.

Eventually she stopped and they just listened to each other breathe for a while, until Quinn spoke again.

"So what are you going to do this evening baby?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'll probably go out, get some take out, come home, rearrange my furniture, go swimming, dance, bake a cake, take a bath and sleep in my kitchen."

"Very funny Rachel. What are you really doing?"

"Do bees really have knees? Do you think they make tiny little hammers to do those reflex tests on them?" Rachel was off rambling again, but Quinn was getting worried. She clearly wasn't thinking straight, and if she did ANY of the things she had listed, short of getting into bed, she could end up being seriously hurt.

"Rachel, sweetheart listen to me. You can't do any of those things apart from go to bed, do you understand?" She said seriously. She could almost _hear_ the pout Rachel was pulling on the other end of the line.

"But Quiiiin, why nooot?" she whined.

"I'm serious Rachel, you could get really hurt." She heard Rachel hum and sigh on the end of the phone before she heard a reply.

"OK, well how about I just go out and get takeout and come home?" Quinn sighed in frustration.

"Rachel you can't drive."

"Yes I can, I have my license and everything. And I've got no food in the house and no one delivers around here and I'm **hungry!"** Quinn was starting to panic at that point. She had to make sure that the woman she loved didn't end up as road kill. It was Ohio in the middle of winter, the roads were **terrible**, and Rachel was high on cold medicine. Sighing, she could only think of one way to keep her from doing anything stupid.

"OK Rachel, what do you want to eat?"

"I was thinking of going to this Thai place on Main. They do really amazing Pad Thai, and the guy behind the counter always flirts with me and slips me extra khao."

"Khao?"

"Rice baby. Dun dun dun du du dun dun. Rice, rice baby" She began to sing, but Quinn heard something suspiciously like keys jingling in the background,. She pushed her question about how muchand tried to catch her attention.

"OK, sweety, listen to me, Ok?" She waited until she was sure she had Rachel's attention. "I'm gonna bring you the food, alright?"

"You are? Aw honey that's sooo sweet! Like you, honey." She laughed, then gasped dramatically. "But Quinn, you can't come over here. It's forbidden, we're not allowed to see each other! We're in love and it's illegal and students don't bring teachers Pad Thai when they're high."

"I think it'll be OK Rachel. No one will know." For added emphasis, she broke out the manipulation. "You do…_want_…to see me, don't you Rachel?" She said it quietly, as if she was upset, and it worked like a charm.

"Yes of course I do Quinn! I'll wait for you right here on this couch right here." Quinn smirked as she heard the keys hit the floor and Rachel's ass hit the couch. "But baby, how long are you gonna be? My tummy is hungry and it's pretty mad at me right now… It's yelling at me." Quinn put her hand on her forehead and laughed gently.

"Well, I'll be as quick as I can, and I'll talk to your tummy and explain that it was my fault when I get there, OK?"

"OK baby, love you, bye!" As the line went dead Quinn sat frozen on her bed. She knew that was how Rachel felt, she had seen it written countless times, but nothing prepared Quinn for the goosebumps, or the pounding heart, or the short breath, or the tingling spine that she felt hearing Rachel's beautiful voice say _those_ three words to her for the first time ever. Her eyes were stinging, and all she could do was stare into space for a moment and smile.

Finally she shook herself into action, put on some clothes, shoved a toothbrush and some extra clothes into a bag, and grabbed her phone, purse and keys. She rushed down the stairs and went into the living room where her mother was mixing herself and her husband a Martini. She took a deep breath to slow herself down and make sure nothing was too suspicious before she spoke to them.

"Mom, Dad, Santana is having a sleepover tonight for the girls. Would it be ok if I go?" Her mom smiled at her and then looked over to Russell as she spoke, submitting over something even as simple as a reply.

"Well I think that would be ok sweetheart. After all you don't have school tomorrow, right hon?" Russell grunted his support. "Just make sure you call us when you get there, ok sweetie? The roads are dangerous tonight." Quinn smiled a sweet smile.

"I will daddy. Thank you." She rushed over and hugged both of them before walking as calmly as possible to her car.

She managed to get to Rachel's in a little under 25 minutes, including getting the food. She knew the area a lot better than Rachel had the first time she had been to her apartment, and the roads were actually much better than she thought. She grabbed everything from the car and rushed up the steps from the parking garage. She knocked on the door but got no reply. Knocking again, she prayed that Rachel hadn't passed out. She pulled out her phone and dialled Rachel, thanking god when she picked up straight away.

"Quinn! I keep hearing this weird knocking noise! Are you almost here?"

"Rachel, I'm knocking at the door."

"Oh…OH!" Quinn heard footsteps and eventually the door opened to reveal Rachel's radient beam, with her phone still held to her hear.

"Hi baby! I can see you!" Laughing, Quinn put down her phone and looked at Rachel.

"Rach, I know, I can see you too." She paused for a moment when the woman didn't move. "Rach?"

"Yes?"

"Put down the phone!"

"Oh!" She put her phone on the floor and scooped a laughing Quinn into her arms, dragging her through the door backwards and luckily managing to kick her phone back into the apartment as she closed the door. Quinn dropped all her stuff on the table as they passed it, only keeping hold of the bag of takeout. Finally they managed to make it up the step into the kitchen area and, with Rachel still holding on to her she put the bag on the countertop. It seemed that Rachel wouldn't be letting go of her any time soon so Quinn wrapped her arms around the brunette's back, buried her nose into the crook of her neck and enjoyed the fact that they were finally alone together after so long. She breathed in deeply, trying to capture the woman's scent and keep it, and she felt her heart and breathing slow down.

"I've missed you" Rachel murmured into her ear. She smiled and blushed, burying her face further.

"Me too."

Eventually, Rachel's stomach began to protest again. Laughing, Quinn let go of her so they could put the food on plates, and each took an end of the sofa, leaning back against the armrests and facing each other. Rachel, still kinda high, was babbling constantly about the food, where she had tried each thing, what it was called in Thai, why she liked Thailand so much, and Quinn just sat listening to her with a smile on her face. As they ate the brunette seemed to slow down, and Quinn hoped that the food was sobering her up a little, although she knew that the sore throat and aching sinuses would come back. She took another bite of her Pad Thai, and when she looked up again, Rachel was giving her a strange and sombre look.

"Rach? What's wrong?"

"You! You're gonna get sick now! You came here and we're together and now you're gonna get a cold because we're here together alone… Alone… Together... Oh…" Quinn's brow furrowed and she frowned, wondering why Rachel was repeating herself. "We're here Quinn." the brunette said putting her plate on the coffee table. "Alone. Together." She began to lean forward until she was on her knees. She crawled the length of the couch, and as she braced her hands on the armrest either side of Quinn's body, hazel eyes met brown, considerably darker than they had been a moment before. "And you're already going to get sick…" It was at that moment that everything clicked into place in Quinn's mind. Without breaking eye contact, she put her plate on the table too. She turned back to face Rachel, whose chest was heaving. Quinn blinked slowly as she brought her hands up to Rachel's cheeks, and she knew she had lost any kind of battle of will that had occurred.

**_Who loves a cliffhanger? I do!_**

**_I've left them alone in a beautiful apartment with lots of usable surfaces in, so you can use your imaginations as to what they're going to get up to for a little while._**

**_Like i said, i'll try and post the next chapter soon._**

**_Oh, also, for those who are interested, i've come up with my next fic plot. I won't be writing it until i finish DH, but it's a lot more of a straightforward story, not future, not AU. Still, i hope it'll be ok. Might crack out a first chapter soon as a teaser and then post the rest when i finish here._**

**_Until next time :)  
_**


	12. Chapter 12

**_Hey Guys._**

**_So this one is back to a more normal length. I also realized that the chapter numbers have been a little screwey on the actual page. It's because on my doc there was no prologue, so it's a bit of a mess. If you noticed, just ignore it._**

**_Now on to finishing the cliffhanger. I guarantee you no matter what you wanted, that is not where the chapter is going, but in a good way. ;)_**

**_Still loving the feedback, so yay for you reader coco, four for you. (It's 5am, ignore me)_**

**_Bon Appetite  
_**

**Chapter 12**

Quinn could feel Rachel's hot breath against her own. The brunette was hovering above one of her legs, with all of her weight resting on her arms, which were basically behind Quinn, and one foot which was on the floor. Quinn couldn't move, as if one false step would end the wonderful dream she was having, and she was absolutely frozen in the delightful tension of waiting for that kiss. She felt Rachel's chest meeting her own as they both panted wildly and it caused her to shiver slightly. Rachel felt the shiver, her eyes snapping shut, and she breathed "oh… fuck" across Quinn's lips, causing the mounting tension to reach a head, like mounting humidity causing a thunderstorm. They met in a fierce clash of teeth and lips, and Rachel had begged and gained entry to Quinn's mouth with nips and licks and sucks before Quinn even realized. Their hands were everywhere, trying to experience everything at once, and Quinn could feel herself losing control and moaning without restraint as Rachel's tongue slipped in and out of her mouth, caressing Quinn's tongue, licking her bottom lip and occasionally flicking the roof of her mouth. Barely even conscious of her own actions any more, Quinn slid her hands from Rachel's, which were gripping blond curls wildly, up to Rachel's shoulders. They then slid down to Rachel's chest, where they fleetingly teased Rachel's (deliciously hard) nipples, before sliding down over her flexing abs and rocking hips, coming to rest on her perfect, round, juicy ass. She slowly squeezed, until Rachel released a gorgeous low moan. Quinn grinned at the noise and watched Rachel's face as her back arched and she pulled away from Quinn's lips at the pleasure she was feeling. Her eyes were screwed shut and Quinn had never seen anything so goddam sexy her entire life. Some primal instinct in her awoke and she growled from deep in her chest before attacking the newly exposed tan skin of Rachel's neck.

Between the fact that she was still pretty high and the fact that she was getting more and more aroused by the second, Rachel didn't know if she could take much more pleasure. Then when she felt Quinn's lips and teeth against her neck, all thoughts flew from her mind. She released a strangled gasp and her breath froze within her chest. Her thighs were getting damper and all she knew was that she was going insane. As instinct took over she dropped all the weight from her foot on the floor and rested against the shin that was on the sofa, grinding on Quinn's thigh as she dragged her knee upwards to nudge at Quinn's core. She wanted the blond to be getting as much pleasure as she was herself. However, she wasn't expecting the reaction that she actually managed to garner.

Quinn, felt Rachel shift but, still being in a total state of wonderment with Rachel's body, she didn't figure out what the outcome would be. Rachel's sinfully short skirt had ridden upwards, and as she lowered herself to grind on her thigh, the primal part of her brain purred in satisfaction, the heat and the wetness that she had managed to cause instantly apparent. But then, Rachel pushed her knee up into the apex of her legs. Up under the throbbing, embarrassingly hard erection that she had been glad Rachel was as yet unaware of due to her still half-standing in her dominant position over the blond. It had happened to Quinn various times before, even though it was only there for a few days a month, but she had never been as turned on as she was at that particular point in time, and she wasn't sure how in control she would be if Rachel realized it was there and decided to do something with it.

Rachel's well-intentioned knee crushed hard into Quinn's dick and caused her to pull back and release a strangled yell of pain, her state of arousal instantly lost. She tried to yell out Rachel's name and beg her to stop but she only got as far as "Rach" before the white-hot pain in her groin robbed her of the ability to speak or even breathe. Rachel hadn't noticed anything, and her knee was slowly grinding Quinn's balls into dust, so she knew she had to act before Rachel took the groaning as encouragement and pressed harder.

Summoning Herculean strength that Quinn had no idea she even possessed, she grabbed the shin of the leg that was crushing her, and the other hip, _lifted_ an extremely shocked Rachel off her and basically threw her to the other end of the couch. It helped that the brunette was extremely small, but it was still no mean feat. Finally feeling relief, she groaned and collapsed back into the couch, panting wildly through the pain. She could see out of her lower peripheral vision that underneath the dissipating horniness, Rachel looked more than a little shocked, and kind of hurt. With a gargantuan force of will, she managed to grunt out "Wait" and hold out her hand palm forward to indicate what she wanted as she choked and gasped, trying to recover her senses. Rachel sat patiently as she could, waiting for an explanation of Quinn's strange behavior.

Eventually, her breath settled and the searing throb in her groin reduced to a dull ache. She sat forward and looked at Rachel. Her body language was closed, kneeling with her legs below her and her hands on her thighs, and she was trying desperately not to meet Quinn's eyes, looking over her shoulder out through glass wall instead. She thought she saw a glimmer in the corner of Rachel's eye. She started talking dejectedly.

"I'm sorry Quinn, I can't believe I did that. It was so inappropriate. I just thought that…well…" She faltered and Quinn's heart broke a little. Obviously between the adrenaline of the making out and the adrenaline of the shock of being bodily thrown across her own sofa had sobered her up. Quinn gingerly leaned forward, trying not to displace…_anything_…too much.

"No Rachel, that's not what I was trying to…" She sighed at Rachel's stiffness. "Will you please look at me?" Rachel sighed and looked back towards Quinn, who smiled a little.

"Hi" she said, reaching out a hand slowly to one of Rachel's. Rachel smiled the tiniest, shyest smile in return.

She said "Hi" too, before looking back down at their linked hands. Quinn used her other hand to lift Rachel's chin.

"Rachel, I'm so sorry I just did that. I hope I didn't hurt you?" Rachel shook her head slightly, indicating that she wasn't hurt. Quinn's chest relaxed a little.

"Thank God. I didn't want to scare you or anything, it's just-"

"I understand why, Quinn. We shouldn't have even let it get this far in the first place._ I _shouldn't have." She looked down with a miserable expression on her face, thinking that she had really let Quinn down. Quinn smiled fondly and squeezed Rachel's hand a little, gaining her attention back.

"Rach. C'mon. I know you're my teacher and everything, but we're both adults. We both have control of our own actions. There was no advantage taken here. In fact, you're under the influence, so technically _I_ was the one taking advantage if anything. And I mean granted, my latent teenage hormones are a bitch to refuse, but we both know that if one of us didn't want that to happen it wouldn't have." Rachel laughed and rolled her eyes. They were still for a moment, before Rachel felt the questions building up again.

"So what just happened Quinn? If it was some kind of trust issue about getting close to people I can assure you-"

"No! It wasn't, I swear! It's just…well…It's my _time of the month,_ Rach." Rachel frowned in disbelief.

"Wait, so you made me fly across my own living room for _that? _Quinn, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! You're not diseased, you're simply menstruating…" Quinn's eyes widened as she realized firstly how graphic Rachel could be when she continued rambling (as she was), and secondly that Rachel hadn't quite figured out what Quinn was trying to imply.

"…I mean you could have just told me to stop, I do have _some _self control!" Quinn took the pause for breath as her chance to cut in to the woman's rant.

"RACHEL! That's _not_ what it was." She looked at Rachel, her eyes wide with meaning. "It's my _Time. Of. The. Month._" She said through gritted teeth.

Rachel knew she was missing something, but still wasn't comprehending what. Quinn looked up to the ceiling, shaking her head at God's sense of humor, and decided that the best course of action as usual with Rachel, was to be bluntly honest.

"Oh for the love of - Rachel you were kneeing me in the balls! You were crushing my cojones, OK?" Upon hearing this, Rachel's eyes widened to the point where Quinn wondered if she was channeling Ms Pillsberry, and her free hand flew to cover her mouth.

"Oh my God!" Quinn heard muffled from behind her hand. "Oh God Quinn are you OK? I mean should I…Can I…I mean…" She gave up on pretending to know what to say, and let her mouth hang open behind her hand. Quinn nodded, pursing her lips but giving Rachel a tight smile to reassure her.

"I'm OK. I mean, it hurts like a bitch, but I don't think anything like, ruptured, so we're good." Rachel nodded, still not blinking.

"Do you…want an ice pack or something?" She asked nervously, wondering what on earth the etiquette was in that situation. Quinn regarded her earnestly.

"To be honest…yeah I really do." She reclined back on the couch as Rachel went over to her freezer and got the ice pack, handing it to the pain-stricken blond.

"Thanks" she smiled lightly as Rachel perched next to her knees instead of going and sitting on one of the armchairs. She gingerly lowered the icepack down between her legs, and winced at a combination of pain and the …reaction…to the cold. Rachel leaned forward and rested her hand on Quinn's forehead, smiling down gently at the girl, before closing her eyes and laughing lightly at herself.

"God, I'm such a dummy. I didn't even consider it."

"It's OK sweetheart, it's not like it's something that you would usually have to take into account."

"No, but I knew about it. I should have thought…" Quinn put a stop to her talk by putting her own hand on top of the one the brunette was resting on her forehead and smiling up at her. She sighed.

"God, we have so much we still don't know about each other." She shook her head, but Quinn squeezed her hand.

"And I'm looking forward to every second that I get to spend finding out" the blond replied looking into Rachel's warm, expressive eyes.

"Me too." Taking care to avoid any tender areas, Rachel curled down into Quinn's side, nearest the edge of the sofa, with Quinn's arm around her. She rested the back of her head on Quinn's right shoulder and sighed, coughing slightly as she did. Quinn hummed slightly in disapproval at the sound,

"I guess all that cold medicine is wearing off." Rachel just produced a low whine and pouted, and Quinn could not believe how adorable she was. "You're so cute" she told the teacher. "And so cuddly." Rachel blushed slightly when she heard that, and hid her face a little.

"I can't be cute, I'm too old!" she laughed. Quinn poked her a little in the ribs with the hand she had around her shoulders, and Rachel, fully lying down on her back, looked up to where Quinn's head was propped on the armrest.

"No matter how old you are, I will still think you're cute." Quinn said with a kiss to her forehead, "And Beautiful" she said with another kiss. "And talented, and sexy, and intelligent, and, above all, so damn caring." Each time she spoke, she emphasized it with another kiss to Rachel's forehead, until her brown eyes had fluttered closed and she was smiling contentedly. Quinn noticed that Rachel was struggling a little more to breathe and her chest was wheezing a little each time she did. She knew it was the effects of the cold coming back. They always did seem worse in the early morning and in the evening, no matter who you were. Whenever Quinn had a really bad cold, she would run herself a hot bath before she got into bed, with some menthol bath oil or salts to open up her airways a little. She had brought some supplies with her in her overnight bag, hoping that she would be able to make Rachel feel a little better without medicating, and decided that after the events of the evening, 9:15 wasn't such a lame time to start getting ready for bed.

She found that as she had been thinking, her eyes had grown heavy and closed, and her breathing had slowed down. She was inhaling heavy breaths of Rachel's shampoo, remembering from her last visit that it was blackberry and sage flavour, and laughing internally about how of course Rachel would have a berry flavor shampoo, but it wouldn't be an obvious one like strawberry.

She cracked her eyes open and looked to Rachel, only to be met with sparkling brown eyes staring at her. She smiled back.

"You want a bath?" Quinn asked.

"Together?" Rachel asked flirtingly. Quinn rolled her eyes and slapped the woman lightly on the arm.

"After that little performance? I think not. However I am available for life guarding duties. And I have some stuff for the bath with me that always makes me feel better when I'm sick." Rachel smiled and rolled off the sofa.

"Well come on then." She said, offering a hand back down to Quinn so she could try and peel herself off the sofa. Quinn picked up her stuff from where she had left it on the table as Rachel padded barefoot across the wood floors down to her bedroom to start running the bath. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a few shaky breaths before following the woman the way she had gone.

She got into the bedroom and walked over to the bathroom which was ajar, but before she walked through, she realized rather violently that Rachel wasn't wearing anything. And she was absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous. Her body was perfectly toned, the tan color of her skin even all over. She had dimples right at the point where her spine met her ass, which was itself as perfect as it had felt earlier. Her legs were also deceptively long and her hips were curved. Her neck arched gracefully down into her shoulders, one of which was draped with Rachel's brown waves. She had her back mostly to the door, but as far as she could see Rachel's breasts were perfectly formed, as was her toned stomach, and her arms flexed gracefully as she adjusted the temperature of the water.

The blonde didn't know what to do with herself. On the one hand, they were in love, and had gotten to know each others bodies fairly well less than an hour ago. On the other hand, they had never seen each other anything less than fully dressed other than that one (not so) unfortunate incident a couple of months prior. She decided the best way to go was to be honest but offer the woman some sense of modesty. She looked down at the floor and raised her fist to knock at the door. She knew she was blushing, but she wasn't going to try and hide that she had seen anything. She wasn't embarrassed, and she wasn't particularly worried that Rachel would be either, but one or both of them being naked in a room had its risks.

Rachel turned to Quinn and smiled when she saw the girl with her head bowed.

"It's OK, Quinn, you can come in if you want." Quinn looked straight up into Rachel's eyes and smiled. "Unless you're shy about seeing me naked?" Quinn rolled her eyes as she pushed the door open and walked into the room.

"No. There are a lot of things I feel about seeing you naked, and none of them are 'shy'."

"Good" Rachel laughed, "Because I would hate to think that we would have a problem in the future." Quinn found that as Rachel uttered the word 'future' her mouth dried up. She had never even considered the possibility of anything resembling them being naked together in the future. She cleared her throat and decided that the best course of action at that point was to ignore what she had said all together. She grabbed the menthol bath oil out of her bag and opened the cap, pouring a little under the stream of hot water.

"Lucky for me, I've had a lot of practice of my self control, seeing as how I'm a cheerio and all. Communal showers for the win!" She added sarcastically. Rachel's eyebrows raised in interest as she stepped over the edge of the bath, and Quinn allowed her eyes a moment to wonder before Rachel settled in the hot water and breathed deeply. The suds did a good job of hiding anything particularly distracting. As Quinn wandered over to the toiled, put the lid down and reclined onto it, reapplying her ice, Rachel asked her about how she managed to be in the Cheerios, have to have communal showers, and still keep her secret.

"Well, at school it's pretty easy. If it's a practice after school hours, I can just do a few extra laps and wait for the others to get out. Most of them think I'm just sucking up." Rachel nodded as she grabbed a hand towel and reclined against the edge of the bath with it cushioning her neck. "I don't mind though, they're kinda right. That's actually how I ended up being captain. Sue was impressed because I put extra effort in, and it meant I had extra time to get better. And because I'm captain, if it's during school hours I can just claim that I had to talk to Sue about something and wait. The teachers are too scared to say anything to her." At this Rachel frowned reproachfully. "Aw come on Rach, if they knew the real reason, or if I stopped showering I would be in infinite shit. I'm not hurting anyone, except maybe myself by missing five minutes of calc once or twice a month."

"I guess you're right. And you're right about this bath oil too, I feel better already." Quinn smiled, glad that it was working. "So, what about when you're at competitions?"

"Actually, it hasn't been a problem so far. All of the places where competitions are held are really well equipped. They've always had stalls or cubicles, or at least curtains. But if not I would just have to wash off a little in a sink, drown myself in deodorant and wait until we got back to the hotel. I mean, I've only had to worry at like, three, so it's not so bad." Rachel smiled a little sadly at that.

"Sounds like a stressful life. Always having to be one step ahead." Quinn nodded and looked up at the ceiling with her head resting on the cistern, laughing dryly.

"It's nothing I'm not used to. If you're a Fabray, you get used to tense and awkward situations very quickly."

"I couldn't imagine. I mean, my teenage years weren't easy, but they weren't so stressful. I mean, I stressed about music and Juilliard, but that was for a few months. And since I finished there, my life is always so simple. Or…it was, until we…" She bit her lip and looked over at Quinn guiltily, who was already looking at her sadly.

"Sorry" she said as she shuffled. Rachel was mortified thinking that she had upset the girl.

"No, Quinn that's not what I…" She sighed as Quinn gave her a pointed look. "OK, I'm not going to lie to you, because that's not who we are. It _is_ stressful. But I don't regret a thing, apart from maybe that you couldn't have been a year older and a TA instead of a student. But I love you, and you are worth everything. A little stress won't affect me, OK?" Quinn nodded silently. "Hey," Rachel called to her "Come here." Quinn got up and walked over to the bath as Rachel sat forward and reached up a hand to pull Quinn's head down to her level. She pressed her forehead against Quinn's as she knelt on the floor.

"I love you. I don't regret it. I don't resent you for it. I resent everyone else for making up rules that say I can't be with you, OK?" Quinn nodded and Rachel gave her a damp peck on the lips. Smiling, she was glad when she received one in return. "So are you staying here tonight? That bag seems a little big for some bath oil…" She raised an eyebrow with a cheeky grin.

"Um, well I told my parents that Santana was having a sleepover, and I needed to be convincing so I just grabbed my overnight bag. My parents tend to miss the big stuff, but somehow notice tiny details. I was gonna tuck you in and then sneak back…" She was cut off by Rachel putting her palm over Quinn's mouth. Her perfect eyebrows furrowed over her hazel eyes. Rachel smiled wide.

"Stay. I think after earlier we can hold back from anything too…hormonal. So just stay here OK? Good company included free?" She cocked her head with such an adorable expression that Quinn just melted and nodded her head into Rachel's hand, causing her to smile and let go.

They sat how they were, with Quinn next to the bath, holding Rachel's hand, and chatted until the water cooled down. When the brunette pulled the plug and stepped out of the tub, Quinn got a towel from the corner, and Rachel stepped down into her waiting arms. They held the embrace for a minute, but Quinn let go so Rachel didn't get too cold and end up even sicker. As she smiled and pulled away, to brush her teeth, Quinn shyly looked over.

"Um… is it…OK if I use the shower?" Rachel looked opened her mouth a couple of times before spitting out the toothpaste and walking back so she was standing right in front of Quinn.

"Only on one condition. You stop asking me stuff like that. It makes me feel like a stranger. Or your grandma or something. Ask if you can eat the last slice of pizza from the fridge, ask if I want a coffee when you make one for yourself, but stop asking me stuff so…politely. It's weird. It makes me feel even more like your teacher" Quinn laughed and nodded, but Rachel looked reproachful. "Promise?"

"Yes, I promise." Rachel went to go put on pyjamas as Quinn quickly showered. She pulled the door closed to give Quinn some privacy, which the blond was glad about. She had considered how rude it would be to close the door if Rachel didn't, seeing as she hadn't had any issues with Quinn seeing her with nothing on. The problem was Quinn didn't think she was comfortable enough with her own body in the state it was in to let anyone see. After all, no-one had _ever_ seen her, apart from Rach, but even then it wasn't full frontal, it was just…_hinted_. She dried off and put the towel in the hamper as she did last time, pulling her Pjs out of her bag, which was still in the bathroom on the floor.

Finally dressed, and after brushing her teeth, she picked up the bag and walked out into Rachel's room. She was all curled up in bed on the side nearest to the bathroom, waiting intently for Quinn to come out. The blond hesitated for a moment.

"Um, I guess I'll go to the guest room then. See you in the morning." She turned to walk out of the door but turned back when Rachel indignantly cried out.

"Where's my goodnight kiss? For goodness sake, I'm sick and I don't even get a goodnight kiss? What a gip!" Quinn hurried over smiling, and lent down to kiss Rachel quickly, but as she met Rachel's soft plump lips, she felt deceptively strong arms wrap around her waist, and before she knew it she was lying on the bed on Rachel's other side. The brunette finally pulled away from the kiss only start giving her Eskimo kisses and whispering to her in an almost-growl.

"What's with the weird polite honorable act, Fabray? There's a no sex rule, not a no cuddling and/or spooning rule. We're not animals, and I almost broke your junk earlier, so I think we can resist." All Quinn could do was nod against Rachel's nose and cuddle further into her. "Good, because there's also no bed in there either." They both laughed and Quinn wriggled to get under the covers, wincing a little as she did. "It still hurts?" Rachel asked, noticing the grimace.

"Yeah, a little."

"Wow, no wonder you threw me across the sofa, I must've really got you."

"You have _no _idea. But I guess…it's the thought that counts?" Rachel laughed softly in her ear at that.

"Well, I was _very_ well intentioned…I didn't…like…dislodge anything when I threw you on the bed, did I?" she mumbled. Quinn shook her head and smiled before rolling over so her back was to Rachel. She seemed surprised. "Wait, so I'm the big spoon?" Quinn nodded over her right shoulder and grabbed Rachel's right arm to hug to her chest. "But you're taller than me!" she went on.

"So? You're older than me."

"You're bossier than me."

"You're butcher than me."

"What? I am _sooo_ not butcher than you!"

"Yes you are. I wear dresses every day. Sometimes you wear pants."

"You wear your Cheerios uniform every day, that doesn't count. When you got here you were wearing Jeans and plaid!"

"Doesn't matter, you're still butcher."

"You have a _penis_!" Quinn gasped in mock outrage at this and slapped the arm she was clutching to her.

"One I'm very sensitive about if you don't mind! And one that you _broke_ earlier. I don't think I should have anything resting up against it other than this ice pack, even your gorgeous ass." Quinn received her own smack for this.

"God, objectifying much, Quinn?""No, just appreciating. You're the one who said I could come in. And you're avoiding the subject. You know that I have a good point." Rachel grumbled and sighed in her ear before settling down tight against Quinn. She pulled the blond tight to her chest and squeezed.

"That ice pack isn't even cold any more" she murmured as she kissed the girl's ear. Sighing in frustration, the blond exclaimed "Fine, I didn't want to be the big spoon because I didn't want you to wake up with my morning wood poking into your ass, OK?"

"I knew it" Rachel said with a proud grin. Quinn started wriggling in her arms and she frowned. "What are you doing?" she whispered desperately.

"I'm rolling over to be big spoon, seeing as you don't seem to be worried about the morning issues." Rachel's arms tightened around her, essentially stopping her from rolling over.

"No, Quinn, it's OK…I kind of like it. Plus we're comfortable now. Maybe we can alternate?" She grinned sheepishly. Quinn just rolled her eyes and smiled shaking her head and snuggling backwards again.

"Goodnight Quinn" Rachel said as she nuzzled into Quinn's neck and closed her eyes.

"Night Rach" was the sleepy reply.

"Love you."

"Love you."

It was only when Quinn said that that Rachel realized what had just happened. Her eyes snapped open.

"Oh God. That was-"

"Yup."

"And I was-"

"High as a kite over the phone."

"Oh god, I'm so sorry I didn't make it more special!…Did…was it like…?"

"Pounding heart, short breath, tingly spine?"

"Yeah! Well, at least you still got the full effect…Hey Quinn?"

"What?" She replied irritably.

"Can we do it again?" Quinn let out a sigh, before indulging the woman she loved.

"I Love you Rachel."

"I Love you too Quinn."

_**I know, it was totally not what you thought. And it got all cute and squirmy at the end. Aww.**_

_**Anyway, next chap will probably be one more during xmas vacation, and then maybe a time jump with an indication of how much.**_

_**Reviews and comments still/always welcome!  
**_


	13. Chapter 13

**_Hey everyone, sorry it's been so long since my last update. All i can say is that family sucks. Unless you make your own. _**

**_Anyway, i actually kinda struggled with this chapter. It doesn't particularly push the plot forwards leaps and bounds, but there are some small things included that i really wanted to get in. I'm hoping the next chapter will flow a lot more smoothly when it comes to writing it._**

**_There are some gleeks included in this chapter, but really not that much, they're more or less just being used so i can mention them later on in the story._**

**_Also, i realized when editing this chapter on FF.N that i've been putting in break markers on my word document, but they haven't been showing up on the actual webpage, and i'm annoyed because that's one of my pet peeves when reading fic, so i apologize. I'm going to try and sort that out from now on.  
_**

**_Thank you so much for your comments, they really make me smile. It's nice when you're having a bad day to have so many people saying nice things about something you do, a real ego boost. It also makes me want to write more for you, so keep going._**

**_Enjoy ;)  
_**

**Chapter 13**

The next morning, the first thing Rachel noticed, with a smirk, was the fact that during the night she had taken on the roll of little spoon. The second was that there actually _was_ something poking into her ass, something hard and _kind of bigger than I thought it would be to be honest_. And the third was that she had a headache that was possibly the result of being hit by an HGV the night before, or could be a mix of her cold and a medication hangover. She attempted opening her eyes before she groaned and screwed them closed again. Quinn's arms shifted around her before bringing her in closer. She felt the younger woman sleepily place a couple of kisses on her neck just below her ear, and felt Quinn's warm breath sighing across the skin of her neck.

"I didn't know I could get a hangover from cold medication" she mumbled, barely making the effort to part her lips to talk. Quinn, her eyes still closed, rubbed her forehead back and forward over the spot she had just been kissing, trying to reclaim sleep.

"There's a bottle of water and some aspirin in my bag by your side of the bed. I figured you'd need it last night." Rachel's eyebrow raised in interest, although she still didn't actually open her eyes.

"_My _side? So that means that we have sides now?" She smiled softly as she slurred sleepily into her pillow.

"Looks that way, doesn't it?"

"Also looks like I was right about you being the big spoon." There was silence for a few seconds before Quinn's lazy mind came up with a comeback.

"Shut up." Rather pleased with it, she buried her face down in between Rachel's hair and her pillow, but whined a second later when the warm, berry-scented locks pulled away. Rachel quickly reached down to Quinn's bag, grabbed two aspirin and downed half the bottle of water as rapidly as she could and lay back down again, to be met by Quinn's embrace and a grunt of satisfaction that Rachel had resumed her place. Rachel settled back, smiling.

"What time is it baby?"

"Don't care. Sleep."

"God, I remember the days when I was young and could just sleep the day away."

"Good, because it was a week ago. Sleep." Rachel could hear Quinn's vehemence, and decided to tease her a little.

"I don't know, Quinn, I mean I usually get up fairly early, maybe I should just-"

"Rachel Berry I swear to god if you get out of this bed right now I will never talk to you again."

"Liar."

"I'll never kiss you again?"

"More lies."

"I'll tell Puckerman he has a chance with you." She felt the brunette tense in her arms.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Better stay here and not find out, huh?"

"I guess I could stay here for a little while. Although there's _something_ poking into my back…"

"Shh, just don't mention it. Ignore it and it will totally disappear."

"Oh sweetheart please, it's pressed up against _my_ ass and you think it's just going to disappear? I don't think you're giving my ass enough credit. "

"Don't be so conceited baby, it's not flattering. And this is kind of embarrassing. I was really hoping you wouldn't mention it…" Rachel sighed gently in Quinn's arms, threading the fingers of her right hand through the fingers of Quinn's left which was thrown over her stomach.

"Baby, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Straight couples have to deal with it most days. It's just something that happens."

"I guess you're right. But if it is so normal for…people with penises…could you please not talk about it so much?" Rachel's mouth clamped shut and she realized that in her effort to make it something comfortable, she had made it more uncomfortable.

"Of course, I'm sorry, I just-"

"I know."

"But… could you maybe move it to the left a bit.." Quinn's eyes shot open in embarrassment, and she wriggled her hips to shift her hard dick somewhere more comfortable for her girlfriend. Eventually she settled down again, and they both closed their eyes and just enjoyed being close to each other. Rachel sighed.

"I could get used to this" she whispered as she played with Quinn's fingers.

"Me too" was the equally quiet reply that was breathed into her ear.

They spent the rest of that day lounging, just holding each other and talking, not really moving from the bed other than to brush their teeth, retrieve some food from the kitchen and go back. Quinn learned that Rachel had a various different laughs. She had the cutest little giggle when she was flustered or embarrassed or shy, and that when she found something really hilarious she had a really loud laugh, almost obnoxious but so full of joy that she couldn't find it anything but endearing. Rachel realized that if it weren't for Quinn's cold upbringing she would be one of the most affectionate people she had ever met. She was constantly touching, hugging, caressing. When Rachel brought up that Quinn acted differently, she replied that she felt different.

"I just feel…" She trailed off, scrunching up her nose and thinking about what she was trying to say. She wriggled in Rachel's arms, reveling in the unbelievable comfort that she felt, and realized what she was trying to say. "I just feel so comfortable around you. I feel like I can do anything I want and not get weird looks or annoying questions about why. I'm not touchy-feely with my parents. We don't hug for no reason. Same with the people from school. I just feel different around you. I want to feel you next to me, to know you're there and know that I can be who I am. That you _want_ me to be who I am." Rachel smiled and squeezed Quinn as close as she could. The girl smiled and gave as good as she got, before they went back to their original positions. They were sprawled across the middle of the bed, Rachel still in her silk night gown, Quinn still in pj pants and a tank, with Rachel on her back and Quinn on her stomach. The blond's left arm was over Rachel's hips and her left cheek was resting on Rachel's stomach, just above her bellybutton, looking up to her face. They were silent for a long time, Quinn enjoying the repetitive motion of Rachel's breathing and Rachel dragging her nails soothingly across her scalp.

"Rach?" Rachel recognized the insecurity in the girl's voice.

"What is it baby?" she said calmly, moving her hand to stroke Quinn's hair.

"I just…Where… I mean…when you think of yourself in five years' time, how do you imagine everything will be?" A less perceptive person than Rachel might not have picked up on the real question that Quinn was asking, but the teacher did. The girl was asking what they were doing, where it was going. Rachel sighed in contemplation.

"Well…" she began, sitting up with one hand behind her for support, so that Quinn's head was in her lap looking up at her, and she was still stroking the spun gold beneath her fingers. "In a perfect world, I see myself still teaching…" She noticed Quinn's eyes close and her brow twist ever so slightly, but continued in spite of the younger woman's disappointment. "I see myself going home on the last day before summer vacation, after a long day of work, and collapsing on the couch…" Rachel watched with interest as Quinn's face twisted into a frown of confusion about where she was going. "Until a gorgeous blond grad student comes down the stairs, pulls off my heels and rubs my feet." At this Quinn's eyes opened as her eyebrows tried to meet her hairline. Smiling, Rachel rubbed her thumb softly over Quinn's forehead. "She tells me that she ran a bath, and she sits next to the tub and talks to me about my day and her day, and then when I'm done she dries me off with a towel, wraps me up and leads me by the hand into a room filled with rose petals and candles. We lay down on the bed and make love until the sun comes up."

Rachel couldn't be positive, but she thought that Quinn's eyes were glistening slightly more than usual.

"She falls asleep for a few hours but I can't sleep because I'm so busy looking at her beautiful face. I slip downstairs to make her breakfast in bed, and as she's eating I surprise her with two plane tickets to Bermuda for a month long vacation. While we're there we have a ceremony, and we promise to be together for the rest of our lives and I've never been so happy in my entire life." As Rachel smiled down at Quinn, the tears trickled out of the corners of the blond's eyes and she rolled so she could bury her head into Rachel's stomach.

"Quinn, I love you. I may not be able to do anything about it for another seven months, but compared to how long I want to spend with you, seven months is nothing. So we're gonna get through the rest of your time at high school, and then we're going to figure this thing out. It may take some compromise, but I think we can do that. Do you?" Quinn met Rachel's eyes again, her own bright and sparkling from the tears. She nodded and smiled so widely she was worried she had done some damage to her jaw. She sat up and twisted around so that the two of them were eye level with each other.

"I'm so glad you feel that way. I know you love me, but sometimes I just worry that I'm some crazy child with an infatuation. I was scared that as soon as I left high school you would want to stop talking to me and just get on with your life." Rachel wiped away some lingering tears and tangled her hand in the waves behind Quinn's ear.

"I will be getting on with my life. That's why you have to be there."

Somewhere deep inside Quinn, a weight was lifted. Relief flooded through her. She couldn't help but beam at the brunette, who was returning the smile gram for gram. Somewhere in that description was a clarification that they weren't just playing a game. Somewhere was a promise that what they had was real, and that it was wanted. Quinn leaned forward and captured Rachel's lips, and while she was taken a little by surprise at the rare action, she recovered quickly and met the younger woman's advances eagerly. As their lips slipped and slid across each other in a delicious dance, Rachel made sure Quinn understood her honesty. When she lightly nipped and sucked at Quinn's bottom lip, she tried to convey the promise that they weren't a mistake, or a fling. As she moaned when Quinn lightly pulled at the roots of her hair, and Quinn's tongue slipped into her mouth to massage her tongue, she _felt_ Quinn telling her that she understood, that they would make it out of Lima, and into a place so perfect that it hurt Quinn's heart to think about, and made Rachel's pulse race. When the kiss softened and turned into slow, brief meetings and partings of lips, they pulled away, smiling. Quinn felt almost shy about the amount of love and devotion that was in Rachel's eyes, and so she dropped her head to Rachel's shoulder. The brunette's arms wrapped around her, one around her shoulder and one around her waist. The blond mirrored the move and they both held each other tight for a few minutes. Eventually Quinn's eyes lifted to look at the clock. 16:17pm. She sighed in irritation.

"I have to get home. My parents will be suspicious if I'm much later, or they might mention it to Santana's mom if they see her."

"You do?" Rachel pouted and widened her eyes, melting Quinn's heart (for the thousandth time after using the expression; it never failed). The blond persevered, knowing that if she gave in the outcome could be worse than she could imagine. She lightly slapped the brunette's hand.

"Stop looking at me like that! You know I don't want to go." She smiled while she was speaking. Rachel rolled her eyes and smiled,

"OK, fine." She stood up from the bed and pulled Quinn behind her. Quinn dressed slowly as Rachel pulled on a peach silk robe which only fell to half way down her mostly bare thighs, just past the end of the scant nightgown she had been wearing. The contrast between Rachel's tanned, muscular legs and the robe made Quinn's mouth water, and she had to shake herself so that she didn't trip as she pulled on her jeans.

They finally found themselves in front of Rachel's front door. There was an awkward silence for a while, neither woman knowing what to say, until Quinn took the initiative and grabbed the front of Rachel's robe lightly, pulling her in to a soft kiss. Rachel rested her hands on Quinn's waist for support, smiling widely into the kiss. They kept their lips just barely touching and their eyes closed as they said goodbye.

"Do you think you'll be able to come back here sometime over the vacation? I'm not sure I want to not see you for more than two weeks." Rachel asked, with something almost resembling a whine in her voice.

"Try and stop me. Maybe I can come up with some ways that we can 'accidentally' meet up in like…public places or something." Quinn replied cheekily.

"What, you mean like…a date? Why Quinn Fabray, are you asking me out?" Rachel exclaimed with over-dramatic flare. Quinn dropped her brow, which Rachel could feel more than see.

"No." Rachel's brow dropped to match her own. "If I was going to ask you out it would be way more romantic than that." They both laughed, and Rachel used the jokey moment to give Quinn a light shove away, forcing them to separate.

"You promise?" she asked shyly, wrapping her arms around herself to replace Quinn's and looking down at her bare feet. Quinn melted at her expression."I guarantee it." She replied with a wink, shoving her hands in her back pockets. Rachel met her eyes and smiled. There was a brief pause before Rachel realized that at some point Quinn really did need to leave.

"Alright you, the sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back, so get going." As the brunette opened the door, Quinn decided not to point out the obviously flawed logic, and instead picked up her bags. She stepped out of the door.

"Will you call later?" Rachel smiled and nodded as she responded.

"Of course I will."

"OK well, I guess I'll speak to you later then?" Another nod from Rachel. Quinn really didn't want to leave, but she forced herself to start backing up slowly, not taking her eyes from Rachel.

"I love you Rachel Berry." The shorter woman flushed a little at Quinn using her full name.

"I love you Quinn _Christina_ Fabray." Upon hearing that the woman knew her middle name, she gasped dramatically and stopped on the spot.

"Where did you find out that!" Rachel smirked with a smug expression.

"I'm your teacher Quinn. I know all sorts of things about you. _Including_ what you did to Billy Mickelson in third grade." The blond's eyes widened, realizing that Rachel had probably seen her permanent record. Rachel laughed wickedly.

"Relax Quinn, I read it before I started helping you out with your audition pieces. There's nothing in there that's gonna put me off now." Quinn rolled her eyes and let a wry smile grace her lips.

"Will you tell me yours?" She asked, not liking that the woman knew something about herself that Quinn didn't know about her.

"Maybe. We'll see." Quinn's brows rose in warning, but Rachel was already closing the door.

"Drive safe baby, love ya!"

As the door slammed lightly, Quinn muttered under her breath and made her way down the steps to her car, shaking her head good-naturedly with a small smile playing around the corners of her mouth. Just as she got into her car, her phone buzzed with a text. She read the message and laughed loudly.

_Barbra. As in Streisand, not Bush. xxx_

It had been four days since the two girls had seen each other, and both were getting a little ancy. Their phone calls were getting longer and more morose, much of the talking dedicated to how much they wished they could see each other. Finally, Quinn came up with an inspired idea about where they could go without anyone recognizing them. She waited for Rachel to answer the phone, which she did on the eighth ring.

"Hey gorgeous, how are you today?"

"Inspired, Rach, I'm inspired."

"Oh really? Hmm. Well, what is it that has you so inspired baby?"

"The thought of seeing you." Quinn grinned into the phone.

"Charmer. Well, how do you plan on pulling it off then?"

"Well, I have a question for you first. How do you feel about old movies?"

"Favorable. Very favorable. In fact, I feel like this is quickly becoming one of my favorite dates ever. What have you got planned?"

"Well my parents are in Buffalo for a couple of days visiting some family before Christmas - I hate them so I didn't go - anyway, I was thinking about places we could go and not have to worry about being seen, and when I was reading the paper this morning, I saw a _tiny_ notice about a drive-in movie theater a little under two hours away. I thought maybe you would want to go?" Across town, the woman's face lit up.

"Oh wow Quinn, that sounds great. I'm going out with some friends tomorrow night, so Friday?"

"Christmas eve?" Quinn's eyebrow raised a little cockily, and very happily. "That sounds perfect. There's a showing at eight, so I was thinking I would pick you up at six?"

"Aw, you're gonna pick me up and everything? This whole thing is so romantic. No-one's done something like this for me since high school."

"Yeah well, I am _in _high school, so sorry it's a little retro, but I kinda wanted to get the full date experience."

"It's not retro baby, it's romantic. So what are we seeing?"

"Ah. Now _that_ is the surprise. And before you even think about it, don't you dare google the place so you can find out." Rachel pulled her hands slowly back from the keys of her laptop with her eyes wide.

"Sometimes I think you know me too well."

"Not possible babe. So who are you going to dinner with on Thursday?" Rachel froze a little at the question. She was hoping Quinn had overlooked what she had said. She should have known better.

While Quinn was waiting for an answer, she guessed where Rachel's mind had gone.

"Rach, it's OK, as much as I would like to meet your friends, I know just as well as you do that it can't happen at least until next year. There would be too many lies to keep up, and I'm _pretty_ sure I don't look much older than I actually am. We can't risk them guessing what's going on, so I can't meet them." Rachel breathed a sigh of relief, glad that Quinn wasn't clueless and about to be totally hurt.

"Thank you baby. I really do want you to meet them, but at the moment it's just too risky."

"I know sweetheart. Don't worry about it. So who is it?"

"A few friends from back in school. I didn't have many, but they're good people, and I don't really make friends easily so it'll be nice to see some familiar faces here."

"That sounds really nice Rach. Seems like you're gonna have a really good weekend." Rachel sighed happily at Quinn's lighthearted talk, knowing that she really wasn't hurt or jealous.

"It sure does, doesn't it? Dinner with friends, and then a date with the most singularly beautiful woman I've ever seen on Christmas eve. That's a winning combo if I ever heard of one. And then I'm driving up to see my dads on Christmas day. All my favorite people in the space of a few days. I'm a very luck girl" Quinn blushed at her girlfriend's casual compliment and went quiet.

"Thank you baby. Anyway I was just about to go to bed. Will you call me tomorrow after your dinner?"

"Of course I will baby. Sweet dreams. I love you."

"Love you too Rachel Barbra" (She had been calling her that since she found it out.) "Goodnight."

The next night Rachel sat with her four closest friends: Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina from high school, and Jesse, who she met at Juilliard, and had been introduced to the other three only to quickly become like family also. They had been talking more than eating since they got there, and were finally getting to the point where they had gossiped enough to settle. The conversation turned to their relationships. A couple of them were in serious long-term relationships, but they were not allowed to go to so called "Family Night."

"So Tina" Mercedes asked. "How's Mike doing?" The woman swallowed her mouthful and smiled. They had actually been together since high school, but he really swam with bigger fish back when they were in high school, and he respected their dinners enough to know that he would be better off not going, and letting his girlfriend have something she didn't need to share with him

"He's good. He just got a promotion, so we were thinking of going on vacation to Venice to celebrate." Kurt perked up at the mention of Italy. Being fairly well known in the fashion world, he spent a lot of time in Europe, and gave his two cents on where to go when they arrived in the city.

"Armand and I love to go to this tiny restaurant just outside of St. Mark's square. You should definitely go. Does the best linguine I've ever tasted." Jesse piped in at this point.

"So it's all going well with you two?" Kurt nodded.

"Yes, I'm glad I didn't decide to follow your philosophy of 'forever single, forever young'. I…I really think he could be the one. I didn't think I could love someone as much as I love him." Everyone around the table smiled sweetly, before Jesse rudely joked.

"Your loss, my friend." Mercedes frowned at his comment and played with the engagement ring on her finger.

"Well St. James, it doesn't seem like a loss to me either."

"Oh god, you're gonna make me throw up with all this sappy crap. C'mon Rach, you agree with me right?" She met his eyes meekly and her friends' eyebrows peaked in interest at her pointed silence.

"Oh no, you too?" The New Yorker exclaimed. She nodded at Jesse slowly with a little grin at her lips. Tina turned to her in excitement.

"You're with someone? So? Who is she? What's her name and social security number so we can stalk her? What does she look like? How did you meet? C'mon Rach, it's been almost two years since your last relationship!"

"Exactly. I don't want to, like, curse it or anything." Four sets of eyes glared pointedly at her.

"OK! OK! I'll tell you _a little._ Um…Well, her name's Quinn…" They all nodded hungrily. "Well, I met her about three months ago. She's tall, and blond, hazel-green eyes…" Kurt's expression was becoming more bored by the second so she thought she'd be honest with them. Sort of. "…And honestly? She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. She's so graceful; strong, but somehow still delicate. I love the way she speaks, the way her voice sounds, the way she can look at something and seem like she sees exactly where it belongs in the world. She understands me better than I think I understand myself. She's wise beyond anyone I've ever met, and kind, intelligent, funny, and I am _so in love with her_ that I'm having trouble breathing right now just thinking about her." As she spoke, everyone's knives and forks slowly dropped to the table, and it seemed as if they all forgot how to chew. They were silent for a few moments.

"Wow." was the only thing Kurt could think to supply, the surprise on his face evident.

"Yeah, wow." Tina repeated.

"Damn, girl. You got it bad." Mercedes shook her head. Jesse looked defeated, and put down his silverware with a thoughtful frown on his face.

"Well, fuck." He muttered quietly, causing everyone to laugh lightly and breaking the tension.

When they parted that evening they made her promise that they would have a non-"family" dinner so they could meet Quinn. Rachel agreed, hoping that she could deflect until at least the summer. They all hugged goodbye, and she drove home smiling. It was good to see friends. She really wasn't lying when she said she didn't make friends easily, she only really knew one or two people in Lima, and they all worked at McKinley. A couple of the male staff members had tried to ask her out, including one Will Schuster after his marriage failed, but a couple of them were decent enough people, and she had been out for drinks a couple of times. Still, she wasn't exactly close to any of them, but she was happy where she was, knowing she had people out there who she trusted with her life, including one beautiful young blond. When she got home, she drew herself a bath and dialed Quinn, putting her on speaker as she soaked in the tub.

"So you had a good time tonight?" the girl asked.

"Yeah, it was wonderful to see them."

"Well good. I like people who make you happy." Rachel smiled gently.

"They do too. I mentioned you, and they want to meet you."

"Really? You did?" Quinn asked shocked.

"Yeah, of course. And they really want to meet you." Quinn exhaled, trying to be calm.

"Wow. Well that'll be great, but if I'm honest…I'm glad I have some time to prepare myself." Rachel laughed at this as she toweled off and walked into the bedroom, slipping on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank, then climbing into bed.

"Well, it's gonna happen sooner or later, so get preparing." she replied. Quinn laughed down the phone.

"I'll bare that in mind. So are you looking forward to tomorrow night?" she asked. Rachel grinned, thinking about finally being able to go on a date with the blond.

"Of course I am baby, although I would really appreciate it if you would just inform me-"

"I'm not telling you what we're seeing. And stop pouting, I can't even see it." Rachel rearranged her reflexive face and chuckled.

"But you know I'm doing it, so it still works..."

"Whatever. Look, all you need to do is wear something nice, but still comfortable, and get in my car at 6pm tomorrow evening. I am planning the ultimate romantic Christmas eve for my devastatingly beautiful, talented, intelligent, dorky girlfriend, and I'm not gonna let you or anyone else ruin it, got it?" Rachel smiled so hard her cheeks hurt.

"Yes. I have got it. I guess I'll see you tomorrow night then baby?"

"Indeed you will. I love you so much Rachel Barbra."

"I love you more than I thought it was possible Quinn Christina. See you in…" She tapered off looking at the clock on the nightstand, the one on Quinn's side "…19 hours."

"Night baby."

"Night."

Both women fell asleep with huge smiles on their faces, the same as they had been doing for weeks, looking forward to their date.

**_So the next chapter will be the date, and then i'm going to start skipping days/weeks here and there. Soak up the happy while you can folks, because this is going to get angsty in the middle somewhere. It'll also get sexy hopefully, so maybe that'll take off some of the sting._**

**_I'll try and have the next chapter up within a week, and within a few days if i don't have much going on. But like i say, if you review i'll probably update faster. Even if it's negative, because then i'll probably write something that i think is better to try and rub it in your face ;)_**

**_Until next time x  
_**


	14. Chapter 14

**_Hey everyone! _**

**_Thank you for all the comments. Keep 'em coming! (and in answer to redbicylefish, yes that is exactly the laugh i mean. She did it at the golden globes too, and it is at the same time a horrible and lovely sound. Also yay for happy dances!)_**

**_So instead of dragging it out, i just decided to write the date scene now, and be warned, there is a little raunchy moment in there. I haven't written anything remotely smutty before, so i don't know how good it is. Leave a comment and if you think it sucks maybe i'll draft someone else in to write the sexy scenes._**

**_Enjoy_**

**Chapter 14**

Rachel woke up early on the morning of Christmas eve and felt her chest tighten in excitement for her date with Quinn. She had been dedicatedly making lesson plans for her classes after Christmas over the vacation, but she decided to take that day off as she felt that she probably wouldn't be concentrating anyway. Instead she got up, had breakfast, got dressed, picked out her outfit for that evening (_because Rachel Berry is nothing if not organized_) spent the the remaining hours preparing little bits and pieces to take to her fathers' house for dinner the next day. She tried to follow a vegan diet as much as possible, which made it difficult for other people to cook for her. Her fathers still loved their meat, so she always made a few things to supplement the meal, not wanting them to have to make a lot of effort just to accommodate her. She had difficulty getting enough protein and so allowed dairy products as long as they were organic, but she didn't eat meat or eggs of any kind, as they were, or would have been, living breathing animals. When the doctor told her she was a little malnourished, she decided that as long as the animals were treated well, milk wasn't such a crime if it was absolutely necessary. Still, if she could get away with using an alternative, she would, and sufficed with getting her milk solely in yogurt for breakfast (and ice cream every now and then).

With that in mind, She made a cinnamon and chestnut stuffing, which they all ate as Rachel and her father Hiram were Jewish and couldn't eat stuffing made of pork anyway, and Rachel wouldn't eat breadcrumb based stuffings as they always contained eggs. Her fathers also insisted on her making cranberry sauce as she had her own recipe that they loved, although she didn't really eat it. She usually took tofu as an alternative to turkey, and always promised to make the mashed potatoes as she would make them with margarine and soy milk, whereas if her dads did it they would use regular milk and butter, something she found totally unnecessary. She would always bake something sweet too. She was particularly talented at making cookies, and decided to take a batch to them as a treat, going for half chocolate and half regular sugar cookies. She got so wrapped up in cooking that it wasn't until she put the cookies in the oven that she looked over to the clock and realized that it was 5:30.

If Rachel Berry was anything, she was always on time, and her date with Quinn would be no exception. She groaned and rushed into the bathroom, showering quickly. She was grateful that she had at least chosen her outfit much earlier, she was just irritated that she didn't have an extra twenty minutes to try and calm herself down before Quinn arrived. She hurried back into the kitchen in just a towel and removed the cookies from the oven, allowing them time to cool before she got dressed into black leggings, a charcoal-gray cable-knit sweater which fell down to mid-thigh, a faux-leather jacket over the top, and boots which came half way up her calves. She left her hair down and wavy (the way she knew Quinn loved it) and applied some light, natural make-up, just enough to emphasize the color of her eyes and the plumpness of her lips. She wanted to look nice, but still casual, intimate. As she finished putting on her lip-gloss, she regarded herself in the full-length mirror on the door of her walk-in for a final time. Not seeing any flaws, she met her own eyes and took a deep breath in an effort to slow her wildly excited pulse. She smiled before making her way back into the kitchen and beginning to put the cookies into a box so they were still fresh for her fathers the next day. As she was putting them in, there was a knock at the door. She looked to the clock and smiled a little to herself as she saw the time was 5:58.

"Come in" she called across the room, trying to act casual and continuing with the cookies. She heard the door open and watched out of the corner of her eye as Quinn made her way into the apartment, pretending to ignore her. Without a word, Quinn went up the step into the kitchen, walked around behind Rachel and pressed her front against Rachel's back, swept her hair away from the left side of her neck and kissed it as her arms tightened around Rachel's waist. Rachel paused and sighed, leaning back into Quinn's body, her eyes fluttering shut, as the younger woman rested her chin on Rachel's shoulder.

"Hey you" the blond whispered coyly into her ear.

"Hey back" she replied contentedly.

"These smell amazing. I didn't know you could bake." Rachel laughed lightly.

"They're just a little something for my dads. One of them is Christian, but the other is Jewish, so I like to distract him from the fact that he's celebrating Christmas with delicious treats." Quinn chuckled into her shoulder.

"Tactful. Always the peace-keeper, hey?" Rachel nodded slightly.

"I try to be. Well, _now_ I try. Back in high school, not so much. I was more likely the one to be threatening the peace than keeping it." Quinn rolled her eyes good-naturedly at the woman's self depreciation and turned her attention back to the baked treats.

"Can I try one?"

"Which type?"

"Hmmm, chocolate, I think." Rachel picked up a chocolate cookie which was still warm, put the lid on the box and turned around so she could hold it up to Quinn's lips. The blond smiled seductively before opening up and allowing Rachel to slip it into her mouth. She chewed slowly with a smirk on her face until the flavor of the cookie hit her and her eyes opened in shock. She spoke around the last of her mouthful.

"Oh my _god_, Rachel these are amazing! You should sell these or something!" She licked her lips to try and get more of the delicious taste. Rachel smiled.

"Good. I'm glad you like them. At least I know dad and daddy will enjoy them too." Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, so I'm just a guinea pig for your parents now?"

"Pretty much" Rachel replied with a smirk. Quinn playfully swatted her shoulder and then leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Mmmm, hi" the blond sighed contentedly. Rachel licked her lips.

"Mmmm….you're right, they really are good cookies" Quinn made a face of mock indignance before looking over at the clock.

"Cute. OK baby, we have to go or we're gonna be late for the movie." She grabbed the brunette's hand and took a step backwards, looking at Rachel fully for the first time that evening, before quickly stepping back into her and kissing her lightly again, murmuring "You look beautiful", stepping away again and pulling a delightedly laughing Rachel behind her. The brunette grabbed her purse from the table, hit the lights and locked the door. As they were making their way down the steps to the parking garage, Rachel took in Quinn's appearance; her hair was down for once, and in wavy curls that fell around her shoulders. She had on dark blue skinny jeans and a long red checked shirt that stopped between her hips and mid thigh. She had flats on and looked at the same time casual and absolutely gorgeous (_what's new?_). They got into Quinn's father's black SUV that she had commandeered for the night (he was in Buffalo, he'd never know) and pulled out onto the dark roads. Luckily it had been surprisingly mild for the past few days and the road was clear and ice-free, meaning she could rush a little to make up for the time they had lost in the kitchen. Quinn cranked up the heat which the brunette was glad for, and then handed Rachel her iPod (something she still rarely did for anyone, and that Rachel noticed and appreciated) and the woman put on some gentle Christmas music.

They spent the drive talking, with comfortable silences in between. They chattered about their families, and their Christmas traditions. Rachel told Quinn a little about her childhood and about her dads, and the more Quinn heard about them, the more she grew fond of them. They seemed to be the kind of parents she always wished hers could be, and she recognized again that her father's ideas of homosexuality being a sin was closed-minded nonsense, and probably more of a sin than anything the two loving men had ever done.

About half an hour into the drive, Rachel took Quinn's hand. The car was an automatic, so the blond didn't need the hand to shift, meaning that they didn't need to let go for the rest of the journey. Quinn felt her heart melting, and the nervous tension she had been feeling before she left her own house slipped away. It was just her and Rachel, and while she was still excited, she wasn't nervous any more. They spent the last ten minutes of the drive in a happy silence until they pulled up to the lot where the movie was showing. Quinn paid at the gate and drove through. They were both happy to see that while there were some cars there, the place wasn't particularly busy. _Looks like it really was a small ad in that paper_ Rachel thought with a smile. Quinn reverse-parked in the space right in the center of the lot (the one with the best view of the screen), killing the engine but leaving the battery running so the radio would work. She smiled at Rachel as she fiddled with the dial of the radio, turning it to the frequency that the movie was being broadcast on.

Rachel was a little surprised when Quinn parked backwards, and was even more surprised when Quinn got out of the car altogether. The blond came around and opened Rachel's door, offering her a hand. Trusting Quinn, she took the proffered hand and stepped out of the car shivering a little in the December air, allowing herself to be pulled to the back of the car. Quinn opened the trunk of the SUV and Rachel smiled with joy when it opened.

Quinn had filled the back of the car with cushions and blankets and there was a picnic hamper set in the middle containing what Rachel could only assume was a romantic meal. Quinn grabbed a little plastic box from under one of the blankets and flicked a switch on it, revealing that their getaway was lit by battery powered fairy lights, giving the car an almost candle-lit glow, but the windows were tinted so they were still afforded the luxury of privacy. She looked at Quinn, her eyes shining, before pulling the girl in gently by the back of her neck and placing the briefest of kisses tenderly on her lips. Quinn just closed her eyes and smiled into it, before opening them when it ended, seeing Rachel turn around and sit gracefully in the back of the car then scooting up so her back was resting on the cushions stacked against the back of the back seats, her legs extended and crossed at the ankles. Quinn stepped into the car too, and pulled the trunk down closed behind her. She reclined into the stack of cushions and made sure that the big screen outside was visible through the back window, before settling back and looking at Rachel shyly.

"Quinn, this is amazing. You really went all out for this, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. It's not often that I get to take the woman I love out for dinner and a movie." Rachel smiled softly at Quinn's words, and rested a hand briefly on her cheek. "I know it's not the conventional way to do it, but I figured that we're not exactly a conventional couple, so why try to be something we're not?" They shared a loving gaze before blond leaned forward to the basket of food. They had arrived within an hour and a half and so had a good thirty minutes to eat the food Quinn had prepared. Rachel laughed internally at the fact that Quinn was so well organized. _I couldn't have planned it better myself. _She watched as the blond pulled out a couple of plates, some napkins and some silverware.

"So I made some things, but I really don't know what you like to eat that much…" She tapered off, with a smirk. "Other than lobster of course…" Rachel spluttered at the girl's words, causing Quinn to laugh.

"Oh my god, how did you find out about that? It was a one time thing!" Rachel squeaked. She paused for a moment, and Quinn let her think, wanting to see if she would remember what happened when she was high on cold meds. She watched as realization hit Rachel's face and the woman covered her eyes with her hand.

"Oh god! I'm so embarrassed!" Quinn laughed and grabbed the hand, kissing it and looking her in the eye.

"It's fine baby. You're really cute when you're high. I enjoyed it actually. Or at least, I did after I got there and made sure you weren't going to accidentally kill yourself." Rachel rolled her eyes and buried her face in Quinn's neck in embarrassment. The blond rubbed her back comfortingly for a moment before she pulled away and resumed rummaging in the basket, pulling out different foods.

"So I just looked online for some simple recipes, and hoped that there'd be something you like. I know you're mostly vegan, but on the first day we met you were eating ice-cream, so I figured it would be alright if there were a couple of things with a little milk in them. I hope that's OK?" Rachel nodded and grinned, both at the memory of their first meeting and at how observant Quinn was.

Quinn was opening Tupperware boxes of delicious-smelling food. Vegetable samosas, bean salad, couscous with roasted vegetables, pita with home made humus, tomato, red onion and cilantro salad, mushroom pate with melba toast, some amazing looking cookies of Quinn's own making, fruit, and, from what Rachel could smell, chocolate dipping sauce which had her mouth watering. She couldn't believe her eyes. Most of her exes had really struggled to think of anything to make her to eat in the first few months they were dating, even with the aid of the internet. They had usually just relied on restaurants to provide suitable dishes. She let her eyes pass over the spread before looking back up at Quinn in amazement. The younger woman had such a vulnerable look on her face that Rachel's heart melted into a puddle.

"Is it OK?" she asked quietly. Rachel leaned in to kiss her gently, only pulling back enough to rest their foreheads together.

"It's amazing Quinn. Just like you. Now pass me one of those samosas, they smell amazing and I'm famished!" Quinn smiled and they chattered as they grazed on the food Quinn had provided, feeding each other bites every now an then, sharing coy smiles and laughing freely. They both felt so relaxed when they were together, it made Quinn shudder to remember how it had been before the vacation. She was dreading going back to school, but she pushed those thoughts down, and let herself enjoy her time with Rachel. She pulled out sparkling cider and home made lemonade.

"Um…I was going to bring a bottle of wine, but I'm driving and I figured it'd be a little weird if you were drinking it alone. Plus, you know, I'm not really supposed to." She sounded apologetic and a little embarrassed, knowing that their age difference was yet again causing awkwardness. Rachel kissed her on the cheek.

"Baby, this is a date…" she paused, and Quinn worried that she looked stupid, that _of course_ dates should have wine, when Rachel continued: "…not a party. I'm here to be with you, not get drunk." Quinn stared for a second and then nodded, smiling softly at the woman's words.

As they started on dessert, the radio crackled into life, signifying that the movie was starting. They both reclined into the cushions (and each other) to better see the screen outside the car. Quinn could tell Rachel was excited to _finally_ find out what they were going to be watching. She knew that not telling her love which movie they were going to watch was a calculated risk, as Rachel could be very opinionated, but she hoped that she had made the right decision. It was confirmed that she had as the opening music and credits for "It's A Wonderful Life" began to role and Rachel squealed and then tackled her further down into the pillows, covering her in excited kisses as the blond laughed with mirth and relief. They cuddled into each other, occasionally nibbling on a piece of fruit or one of the cookies (which Rachel found out were lavender shortbread with raspberry and cashew cream, and swore were the best thing she ever tasted), until Rachel shivered a little. The cold had finally permeated the car, so Quinn pulled a couple of the blankets over them. She had turned off the heat to save the battery, because she was afraid it would run all the way down if both that and the radio were still running (plus she figured that sharing body heat would conserve energy... or something). She also grabbed a thermos flask which she had propped next to her and poured two cups of hot cocoa, passing one to the woman next to her. Rachel smiled appreciatively and then groaned with pleasure after she tasted it.

"I swear to god Quinn, if you keep making food like this for me, I'm going to be as big as a house before you know it." Quinn made her reply absently.

"That's fine with me. If it makes you happy, I'll cook for you every day." Rachel turned to the girl with love in her eyes, but Quinn's gaze was still fixed on the screen. Instead of breaking her concentration, the brunette just smiled at her and snuggled down into her side, watching the rest of the movie in peaceful silence, although she was concentrating more on the blond's heart beating below her ear than the beloved Christmas classic.

She leaned up and softly placed a loving kiss on Quinn's cheek, and then couldn't resist leaving another. As she rested her head back on the younger woman's chest though, Rachel noticed that Quinn's breathing was a little heavier and her pulse was a little stronger. Without moving her head, Rachel looked up to Quinn's face and saw that while her eyes were still trained on the screen, they were unfocused. She smirked slightly, and decided to tease a little. She moved her hand from where it had been wrapped around Quinn's arm, to her opposite hip, and squeezed gently as she reached up a little and softly started kissing her neck. Quinn was clearly trying to keep her breathing even, but she was grunting a little every now and again, and her eyes were rolling up although she was obviously trying to hide it or ignore it. Rachel grinned at this point and decided to up her game, moving to just behind Quinn's ear before taking her earlobe into her mouth and sucking gently. Quinn finally caught on to the fact that Rachel was _trying_ to get a reaction from her.

"Rachel…" she managed to grind out warningly between pants. "What are you doing? Watch the movie." The woman smiled, and as she did so allowed her teeth to grip the lobe slightly, grazing them against the flesh as she pulled away.

"But I already know what happens. And you're just so…" she broke off to run her tongue from Quinn's collarbone to her ear, before panting the last word in a hot breath. "…delicious." With the final word she ran her tongue along the shell of Quinn's ear and rolled slightly so she was more on top of Quinn. The blond was breathing heavily, looking up to the roof of the car and willing herself to stop Rachel's advances, but as Rachel slid a leg over her lap and straddled the girl, she gave in and took Rachel's soft pouting lips, fisting her hands in the back of her shirt just above her ass. Rachel pushed her further back into the cushions with hands on her shoulders until she was more laying than sitting, sucking her lower lip into her mouth and then pinching it slightly between her teeth. Quinn let out a high-pitched groan, and grabbed the back of Rachel's hair with one hand as she penetrated Rachel's mouth with her tongue. She held dominance, not allowing Rachel the power for a second, and found herself getting off on the fact that Rachel was so hungry for it, until, to her embarrassment, her _little secret _began to stir. She considered stopping before her situation became apparent, but she couldn't make her body do what it was told. As Rachel's hands ran up into blond hair, Quinn's hand on Rachel's back slid down under her shorts, grabbing her ass hard over her panties. Rachel was getting wetter by the second, turned on by Quinn's dominance, but when the blond grabbed her so _possessively_, the only response Rachel could fathom was to moan loudly into Quinn's mouth and grind down, _hard_, to try and break some of the tension building low and hot inside of her. Feeling the hardening tent grinding against her pussy caused her mind to go hazy with the realization that Quinn was hard _for her_. It wasn't something she had that much experience of, and although she considered herself gay, it was more because of an attraction to the female spirit and form than an aversion to male genitalia. She realized she could get used to it.

Quinn was equally shocked and aroused as Rachel ground down, and they both pulled their mouths away from each other, gasping for air. But Quinn didn't stop forcing Rachel down and grinding her against her straining cock; rather she squeezed her ass harder, growling low in her throat, and their eyes locked together, mouths still open and gasping. The eye contact was turning them both on even more, and Rachel ground down more just to watch the reaction on Quinn's face. The more her brow knotted, the more the tension in Rachel's abdomen mounted.

"Oh my god…Quinn! Oh f-fuck baby. Fuck, I think I'm gonna-" Rachel's cry was interrupted by a loud knock on the window. They both froze, still panting wildly, as a gruff voice permeated what they realized was silence where before there had been the movie track.

"I don't know what's going on in there, and I don't want to either. Time to go people, we're locking up. You've got five minutes to be on your way before we call the cops." They heard footsteps on the grass outside as they stared at each other, open-mouthed and red-faced (both from arousal and embarrassment) until Rachel broke into a blushing laugh and hid her face in Quinn's neck. After she got over being completely blueballed, Quinn began to laugh too for a moment, and shook her head at their own behavior. She heard Rachel's muffled voice and felt it vibrating against the skin of her neck.

"Oh my god, I can't believe we just got caught like that! I'm so embarrassed. I'm so _sorry_!" Quinn laughed incredulously and pushed her back by the shoulders.

"If you think you need to apologize for that, you have got some serious priority issues." They both giggled and lay against each other until they grew silent. Quinn broke it.

"I'm kinda glad actually. I mean, could we be any more stereotypical? The first sexual stuff in our relationship happening in the back of an SUV? Ugh, it's so Ohio." She pushed Rachel's mussed hair back behind her shoulders and kissed her on the nose. Rachel smiled sweetly and slid to the side so she was sitting. She rubbed her face with both hands and rested her chin on the heels of her palms, sitting Indian-style with her elbows on her knees. She smiled at Quinn.

"So I guess we should get out of here." Quinn nodded in reply.

"Yeah. Um, I'm gonna have to climb over the seats, the trunk doesn't open from the inside…" She looked a little embarrassed, but Rachel nodded.

"To be honest, I don't really want to get out of this car right now, I think I will too." Quinn chuckled and nodded in understanding, before crawling over the back seat and into the drivers seat. Rachel followed behind and slipped into the passenger seat, trying to not put her ass in Quinn's face too much.

The blond started the ignition and turned up the heat straight away, put the car into drive and looked at Rachel happily for a moment before pulling out of the lot. They both received wolf-whistles and salutes from the two guys on the gate and blushed, but Rachel took Quinn's hand again and they both got over it quickly. They spent most of the ride back in silence, not really talking and not putting the radio on, preferring to just be with each other.

When they got back to the Lima city limits, Quinn groaned. Rachel's brow bunched questioningly.

"What's wrong baby?" The younger woman's voice was aggravated as she replied.

"I got a gift for you, but I left it in my room at home." She sighed with irritation. Rachel leaned over to rub the blond's temple with her thumb.

"That's OK baby, you didn't have to get me anything. I mean, you organized this entire date, cooked, drove, paid, that can be my gift." The annoyance melted out of her face at the older woman's touch, but she still looked a little upset.

"I wanted to get you something though. I _did_ get you something."

"Well, you can give it to me when we're back at school. Or drop it off at my house maybe?" She said with hope in her voice. Quinn caught it and looked at her for a quick second with a smile.

"Baby, don't worry, I will be back at your house at least once before school starts again. But I wanted you to have the gift to open for Christmas day." She paused for a moment, unsure. "D'you….maybe think we can stop at my house so I can give it to you before I drop you at home?"

"Of course. Although I think if there's any kind of furniture involved we should leave some space between us." Quinn laughed hard.

"I agree." she chuckled as Rachel squeezed her hand.

They pulled up to Quinn's house and again she rushed around to the side of the car to open the door for Rachel, who rewarded her with a soft kiss on the cheek. The blond unlocked the door and hit the lights, leading the woman into the warm living room and indicating that she should sit as she made her way up the stairs to retrieve the gift. Rachel sat on the sofa, which was fairly uncomfortable, and looked around the room. The living space was large and fairly open, but it seemed stuffy somehow. The entire place was caramel colored wood with expensive looking rugs and display cabinets everywhere. There wasn't a single thing out of place in the room, and absolutely nothing indicated that people lived there. She shuddered a little, but couldn't decide whether it was against the chill air or the idea of her childhood home looking like the drawing room of Ebenezer Scrooge. She welcomed the sound of Quinn's steps coming from the hallway. Smiling as the girl turned the corner, she scooted over a little towards the opposite armrest as Quinn sat. She was holding a small gold box in her hand with dark navy ribbon tied in a bow. She handed the box to Rachel and smiled at her.

"Do I have to wait until Christmas day to open it?" she asked teasingly. Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Well, considering you follow Judaism more than Christianity, I would say no, but…" She held up her phone, showing the woman the large 12.01am on the display. "It doesn't matter." Rachel smiled and stretched out her arms, gathering Quinn into a warm embrace and kissing the crown of her head.

"Thank you baby. Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas Rachel Barbra." They parted and she nudged the box in the woman's hands slightly higher, encouraging her to open her gift. Rachel excitedly pulled at the ribbon and pulled the lid of the box off.

Inside, resting on a small cushion, were two earrings in the shape of treble clefs, diamond-studded down the longest curve. They glinted in the soft light of the side-lamps that Quinn had turned on. Rachel gasped softly and looked at Quinn in disbelief.

"Quinn, they're absolutely beautiful. But how could you possibly afford these?" She caressed one with the tip of a finger.

"I've been saving, remember? For the surgery. And even though things are still a little…awkward… at certain times of the month, I'm not as desperate to have the operation as I thought. Turns out some people aren't totally against being intimate with me because of my condition." Rachel shook her head at the thought that anyone could be cold enough to not want to be intimate with Quinn. Intellectually she knew it was probably true, but her emotions told her it was ridiculous that anyone could dismiss someone she was so in love with, for something so inconsequential. She sighed and looked back at Quinn.

"I love them. You're amazing." She brushed her lips gently against Quinn's "Thank you." They sat sharing breaths for a moment before Rachel said "I got you something too." She grabbed her purse and slipped a box out and into Quinn's hands. It was both longer and thinner, wrapped in purple with gold ribbon. Quinn smiled at the brunette questioningly as she took the box, trying to banish the temptation to shake it and guess what it was like when she was ten.

She undid the bow and pulled the box open, revealing two tickets. Rachel looked a little less sure of herself, but explained.

"Um…these are to a concert that one of my friends from Juilliard is giving in town. He's doing tour, and when I heard he was coming here I called him and got some. He's a concert pianist. I thought you might be interested, y'know? See what you maybe could be doing for a career, and talk to him afterward? I thought we could maybe, inadvertently end up there and sit with each other because we know each other, like at Starbucks?" Quinn was stony-faced, not meeting Rachel's eyes, and the older woman was worried she had done something wrong. She began apologizing.

"Quinn I'm so sorry if you don't like them. I can get something else. We don't have to go you know…" She trailed off as Quinn turned to her and she saw there were tears in the girl's eyes. She opened her mouth, pausing for a moment before she could pull herself together enough to speak, although it came out as barely a whisper.

"Rachel they're…they're great, thank you. I think they're…" She sighed and wiped her eyes a little. "…I think they might be the best gift I've been given since i got my pogo stick when i was eight." Relief flooded through the woman and they embraced again, holding tight to each other.

"You scared me for a second there. I thought you hated them" she said into Quinn's curls.

"Never. In all likelihood this will be the only present i receive this year that i actually enjoy, and all because you actually care about what i enjoy."

It was at that point that they heard a car pull up outside the house. Quinn pulled away and her eyes widened as she heard her father talking to her mother.

"Oh shit!" she said, getting up and pulling Rachel up behind her. She pocketed the tickets and looked out of the window between the curtains to see how close they were. Luckily her mom never traveled light and the five or six designer suitcases she had were all heavy, and she wouldn't be putting any of them on the wet ground outside. Quinn quickly hit the power button on the TV remote, formulating a plan, and then dragged Rachel through the kitchen to the garage, opening the side door to hastily let her outside.

"Wait right there until I call your cell OK?" Rachel nodded and they kissed quickly before Quinn closed the door and grabbed a coke from the fridge, throwing her coat onto the breakfast bar. She heard the door open and took a deep breath, trying to look casual as if she had been chilling out in front of the TV instead of exchanging Christmas gifts with her very inappropriate girlfriend. She walked into the living room and saw her parents.

"Daddy!" She yelled with as much happiness and surprise she could muster, rushing over to the man and throwing her arms around his neck. The man laughed at her display of affection, and she pulled away to hug her mother and kiss her on the cheek.

"What are you guys doing back here already? I thought you were flying back in early tomorrow" _You assholes_. Her parents dropped the luggage they were carrying, and smiled at their adoring daughter.

"Well there was a snowstorm coming in to New York, so we took an earlier flight so we wouldn't miss Christmas day with our baby girl." Quinn gritted her teeth and smiled, desperate to find a way to get her parents away from the door, hoping that she could get Rachel into the taxi as she would no longer be able to drive her home without her parents noticing. She almost dropped to her knees and thanked god when her mother piped in with a request to Russell

"I am exhausted darling. Can you get the last bag? I want to go upstairs and get to bed as soon as I can." Before Russell even opened his mouth, Quinn interrupted.

"Oh, you must both be tired, let me get it!" The man smiled appreciatively at his daughter and cupped her cheek.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you princess." They both kissed her on the cheek and mumbled goodnight, and then she watched them trudge up the stairs to their, thankfully _rear_-facing, bedroom, before hurling the coke she was holding onto the sofa and hitting dial on her phone as she stepped outside. Rachel picked up before the first ring had finished.

"They've gone to bed. The gate to your right should be unlocked, it leads right out to the front. I'm out here waiting for you." She just heard a relieved sigh before the woman hung up. She walked over to the taxi driver.

"Hey, is there any chance you could take my friend across town?" The guy looked up at her with mild disgust. Clearly he had had a long day, but she was desperate, and it was all too perfect to not work.

"Listen lady, I'm off duty. It's time for bed, understand?" She tried hard not to smack him and sighed, giving in to desperation.

"How about if I hand you $100 right now, and then she still pays fare when you get there?" The guy's eyebrow twitched with greed and he held out his hand to her, not looking at her as she put five 20s into his sweaty palm. Just as he pocketed it, she heard footsteps. She turned around, seeing Rachel's ashen, scared face.

"I'm so sorry" was the first thing out of Quinn's lips. Rachel just shook her head and grabbed Quinn into a tight hug.

"It's OK, baby, it's OK. Although I think that I'd better not tempt fate for a while." Quinn nodded stonily as they pulled away.

"Thank you for the date, I had a wonderful time. And my gift." The corners of her mouth curled in a light smile, although when Quinn took her hands, they were shaking slightly in fear. "I'll wear them to my dads' tomorrow." They looked at each other for a moment before meeting briefly in a tender kiss.

"Happy Christmas baby" Rachel breathed across Quinn's lips. She returned the sentiment before their moment was broken by the scummy cabbie.

"Lady if you don't hurry up you can make it two." Rachel frowned in confusion, not knowing about the bribe, but she nodded and backed up, allowing Quinn to open the back door for her. They shared another brief kiss and 'I love you's, before Rachel shut the door and Quinn ran around to the trunk for the last one of her parents' bags. She dragged it out and then stood on the sidewalk, returning Rachel's wave as the car disappeared into the night.

_Now how the hell am i gonna get all that stuff out of the trunk of Dad's car without him noticing?_

**_So i will hopefully have another update up in about a week or so. Sorry it's going slowly at the moment, but i'm trying to get my head back in the game._**

**_As always comments are much appreciated._**

**_Until next time ;)  
_**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hi everyone!**_

_**So for all those people who were commenting about how you thought they were fine and dandy, you pretty much reminded me that they're not.**_

_**Fair warning: Here be angst, and it's only going to get worse. Although it will get better again.**_

_**Thanks for all your wonderful comments and reviews, you sure know how to make a girl blush.**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

**Chapter 15**

Rachel smiled softly out of the window, waving goodbye to Quinn. When the blond was finally out of sight, she wrapped her arms around herself; the driver had the heat cranked up in the cab, but Rachel just couldn't seem to stop shivering. She locked her jaw and clenched her teeth together as soon as she had got in and told him the address, not saying a word even after they reached her apartment and she handed him the cash for the journey. She rushed up the steps, let herself in and immediately hurried to her bathroom, where she proceeded to violently empty her stomach of the beautiful romantic meal Quinn had made. She stay kneeling there for a moment, trying to recover, her knuckles white because her hands were pressed so hard into the side of the porcelain, but as if her numbed mind had been awakened with the violence of her sickness, the memories of what had just happened flooded back, and tears were suddenly dripping from her cheeks. She sobbed and fell back against the wall to the left of the toilet, squeezing her arms around herself and crying freely.

As soon as she had heard Russell Fabray's voice outside the house, where she was making out with his daughter, the big picture had hit her in the face like a brick. She was all of a sudden pulled out of her own body to hover above the town of Lima, and there she saw everything for exactly what it was. She was in an _illegal_ relationship with a _highschooler_ and if her father walked in at that moment and saw them, she would be going to prison, never to see Quinn again. _If he didn't beat us to death with a baseball bat, that is_ she thought with a dry laugh that never passed her lips.

In that moment, as she saw herself, Rachel Barbra Berry felt an emotion she'd been glad to never feel before: shame. Shame over the fact that she was a teacher in love with a student, that she didn't have the strength of will, or the _maturity_ to ignore her feelings, that she was _sick_ enough to think it was somehow OK. And she cried even harder, because part of her still did. The part of her that saw Quinn as just a woman, not Quinn the highschooler, was screaming inside her head that it was OK, that loving her would never, ever be wrong, no matter what the law or society said. But the part of her that heard about similar stories on the news and always shook her head at the lack of self-control they had, and the part that knew what would have happened if Quinn hadn't thought so quickly earlier that nigh, made her lean over the toilet again and wretch emptily.

She slumped back to the wall again, exhausted but still sobbing heavily. She understood clearly that even after Quinn graduated, her friends, the people who knew her, Quinn's family and even her own, would not accept them. They would be judged, ridiculed, tormented. She especially, as the elder of the two, the would be torn apart. Some of that idea didn't upset her that much. She knew that no matter what, Quinn's parents wouldn't accept that she was in love with a woman, or a Jew. The fact that Rachel was her teacher was just another thing to add to their list. But the idea that her "family", the true friends that she had managed to gather around herself, would judge and criticize was really painful. As much as she hoped that they would eventually accept them was clouded by the fear that they wouldn't. Still though, she could deal with that for the opportunity to be with Quinn. They could move away, make new friends, be happy. The only thing that was really frightening her was her fathers.

As far as Rachel could recall, she had never once broken any kind of major law, but even if she had, as long as she had good reason or intentions, her fathers would always support her. But if she told them about this? She wasn't sure they would be able to support her. They would always love her, she knew, but if she told them that she was dating, kissing, practically fucking a student, they would be disappointed, maybe even ashamed. They wouldn't know what to say to her, they would call less, they would drift away from her, and it hurt to even think about. The two men were the closest people in the world to her, she loved them with her entire being, and their disappointment would destroy her.

She clutched at her mouth, feeling as if something was covering it, as if she was being smothered and couldn't breathe. She was shaking and crying on the bathroom floor, and had been laying there next to the toilet for almost twenty minutes before she stopped shivering enough to lever herself off the ground. She rose, exhaustedly stripped off all of her clothes, and stood shaking in the shower. She felt numb again, and only expended enough energy to wash off the make-up and the slight panicked sweat that had broken out almost an hour before, as she stood shaking with her back against the side wall of the Fabray's house, scared to even breathe in case of being found out. She faced the water flow and bowed her head under it, trying to wash away her guilt, before eventually giving up and turning off the water.

Without even picking up a towel, she walked across the room to the sink to brush her teeth, letting the water run off her skin and leave puddles on the floor. She needed to go to bed because she had to leave early the next morning so she could get to her dads' on time. She hazarded a glance at her face in the mirror only once, taking in her red, blood-shot eyes and blotchy face, before she picked up her toothbrush, keeping her eyes trained on the sink.

When she was done, she finally grabbed a towel to slightly dry her hair before crawling into bed and wrapping the heavy winter comforter around herself, curling into the fetal position as she did when she was a child and had gotten herself in trouble.

From where she dropped her purse on top of the comforter at the end of the bed, she heard her phone beep as a text message arrived, knowing it was Quinn trying to contact her, probably to apologize again, thank her again, tell her she loved her again, but instead of the warm rush that Rachel was used to when she heard that beep late at night, the sound was followed by a chill across her skin and a cramp in her stomach.

For the first time since before the very first night she had received a text from the blond, Rachel grabbed the phone, canceled the message and turned it off, throwing it across the room and letting her wounded soul be healed a little by the finality of the sharp cracking sound it made as it hit the floorboards. She rolled over and buried her head in the pillows, staying there for about two seconds before the memories came back. Rolling again, she threw open the drawer to her nightstand and popped open a bottle of sleeping pills; they were left over from when she had been traveling around the world and needed some help to fall asleep on various planes.. She dry swallowed three and felt drowsiness take her quickly, gladly allowing herself float away from her troubled mind.

Across town, Quinn stared at her phone as she lay in bed, perturbed that she hadn't received a reply from Rachel. She sighed and decided that the woman must have already fallen asleep as she was probably exhausted, and she had to get up early the next day. It wasn't the first late night text that Rachel hadn't replied to, so Quinn put her phone on her nightstand and snuggled down into bed, sure that she would get a message in the morning. She had managed to get everything out of the car and put away without her parents waking up, which she considered a huge success, and while her parents almost finding them out hadn't been ideal, she thought that she was pretty ninja to have thought of a plan that fast. Rachel had seemed to enjoy the movie, the food was a success, (the inappropriate hard-on was more appreciated than she could have hoped), so all in all Quinn considered the day entirely positive. That combined with the fact that it was Christmas day the next day made for a pretty happy Quinn.

She wriggled further down into her sheets, sighing "perfect" as she remembered how Rachel had looked with her hair mussed, smiling embarrassedly down at her because they had been interrupted at the movie; she had no idea that the same thoughts could not be any further from Rachel's mind.

On Christmas morning, other high school students might have different things on their mind, like gifts, food and family, or even the religious meaning. But when Quinn Fabray woke up on December 25th, the first thing she did was grab her phone, check for messages (_Merry Christmas, blondie. Bet my parents get me cooler gifts than yours - Santana_;_ Happy Christmas Quinn, what did Santa bring you? - Britt_; _Hey, why don't I be Santa and you can be Mrs Clause? Or maybe just a slutty elf? I'll let you really experience the north pole… - Puck;_ _Happy Christmas. Do you think Jesus ate turkey for Christmas too? - Finn_) replied to them all, and seeing Rachel still hadn't replied, sent her a message wishing her a happy "random day that Jews don't celebrate". She frowned a little that she still hadn't heard anything from Rachel. _Maybe she just didn't want to text me early when she left and she's still driving…I guess._

She rolled out of bed with a slightly disappointed sigh, showered and put on the dress that her father had gotten her the year before, carefully doing her hair and making sure that she was perfectly groomed for the pageant that was Christmas with the Fabray family. She glanced at the two tickets that Rachel had given her, which where slipped under the frame of her mirror, and smiled before making her way downstairs. Her mother was cooking breakfast for her father, who was sitting at the breakfast bar reading a newspaper, humming along to the Christmas carols playing through the radio. She slid the bacon, eggs and pancakes onto a plate and as she placed it down in front of Russell, she caught sight of Quinn coming through the door and smiled softly.

"Good morning baby, Merry Christmas." Quinn smiled at her mother and kissed her on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas, mom." She moved around the counter to her father, who smiled and muttered merry Christmas to her as she hugged him around the neck and kissed his cheek. Taking a seat next to her father on a high stool, she nodded eagerly as her mother offered her bacon and pancakes. She looked between her mother, busily cooking and humming gently, and her father, happily tucking in to his breakfast and reading the newspaper intently.

It was times like that, when the two of them weren't drinking, or arguing, or judging people, that Quinn was content, and knew that no matter how unhappy they made her, she loved her parents wholeheartedly, despite herself. She sat back and watched as her father looked up at her mother, who was unaware, and smiled to himself, looking as though they were newlyweds and he was in the flush of love. Quinn's heart ached when she saw that, wishing that she could be so obvious about her feelings for Rachel. Sometimes she felt like she would be eaten alive by her emotions. She checked her phone again (no new messages) and then took up her fork when her mother put a plate in front of her. Judy cooked some eggs for herself and made some toast, and they sat quietly together. When they were all done, it was time for church. They met Grandma and Grandad Fabray outside the building and sat with them through the ninety minute sermon. After the obligatory half hour mingling, during which time Quinn stayed silent between her parents and grandparents (other than to say hello or thank strangers for the compliments of her beauty) they got in the car and made their way to her grandparents' house.

She helped her mother and grandmother in the kitchen as her father and grandfather smoked cigars in the study and talked about chauvinistic, trivial nonsense (her grandmother's words, not hers). At two they sat down for Christmas lunch, eaten in silence, other than the grace (in order to better reflect on the gravity of the celebration of the birth of Jesus. She surreptitiously checked her phone from time to time at the table, trying to be stealthy as she would be in a world of trouble if anyone saw. By the time they had eaten dessert, washed the dishes and had opened their gifts (Quinn received a new crucifix, a dress perfect for Christmas next year, a couple of books deemed appropriate, some of her favorite chocolates (in place of the alcohol that everyone else received) and a sneaky fifty bucks that her grandma slipped into her hand as they hugged goodbye. She also knew that she had some iPod accessories, a couple of DVDs and a new cellphone waiting for her at home, but her mother knew how Russell's father felt about Quinn receiving "decadent trash" and figured it would save an argument if they just waited.

When they got home, they collapsed in front of the television, opened the last of the gifts and put one of Quinn's new DVDs, Funny Girl, into the player. They had a few hours until people started to arrive for their annual party, and all the preparations were made, so while Quinn broke into her chocolate, Russell and Judy proceeded to get their buzz going. Quinn wasn't looking forward to the party, as the only guests were fellow parishioners, Russell's business partners and their families, and the rest of the neighborhood, none of whom she had any interest in talking to. She planned on only spending thirty minutes maximum at the party before she figured she could gracefully bow out and _finally_ call Rachel. She was beginning to worry as she hadn't received a single reply to any of her four texts. She tried to swallow the fear that something had happened down, but the more she thought about it, and the more time passed, the more sense it made that the only possible explanation was something terrifying.

By six, when the guests started arriving, Quinn was almost shaking. Her stomach was twisting and she couldn't stand still. She offered to take people's coats as they arrived, hoping that the inane babble and constant activity would distract her until she could escape, and also that as she had officially spoken to every guest, there wouldn't be a problem with her leaving early.

"Good evening Miss Fabray! Merry Christmas. You look very pretty this evening."

"Merry Christmas, Mr Fielding, Mrs Fielding. Merry Christmas. May I take your coat?"

"Happy Christmas young lady!"

"Thank you very much. Happy Christmas. May I take your coat for you?"

"Quinn! You look lovely as always. Merry Christmas."

"Hi John, Martha. Happy Christmas. Hey kids. Can I take your coats for you?"

Eventually, everyone on the guest list who had RSVPed had arrived, and Quinn wrung her hands together, waiting for her father to make his toast. As soon as he had finished, she would gracefully bow-out, claiming that she was tired from the day's excitement. Russell would be too drunk, and too in his element, to refuse. Finally, she breathed a sigh of relief as she heard him clearing his throat and her mother standing beside him tapping a small spoon on the side of a (mostly empty) sherry schooner. She dutifully made her way to his other side and he put his arm around her shoulders. Her mother had her arm around his back and they both had their glasses in their left hands, proffered in the air. They were the perfectly posed family. Somebody flashed a camera at them (_looks like the photo for next year's cards is dealt with_) and then Russel began.

It took him about ten minutes to get through all of his bullshit in order: Religious, work-related, familial. Finally he was done, and Quinn turned towards him, kissing him on the cheek and claiming that she was going to go to bed because it had been such a tiring day and the sermon had been particularly emotional. He agreed, and swayed slightly as he leaned down to peck her cheek before moving off to circulate. She wrapped her arms around her mother, wishing her goodnight and hesitating a moment, allowing her fears to be soothed slightly by her mother's embrace. She kissed her on the cheek and went up the stairs, breaking into a run and slamming the door closed and locked,

Grabbing her phone, she hastily hit dial, listening to the ring. But her mind was wondering, and she couldn't help but imagine the worst, and the results. If she couldn't reach Rachel on her cell, there was no other way for her to find out what had happened. As far as everyone else in the world was concerned, the only relationship she had to Rachel was as a student. She didn't know her fathers' names or numbers, or where they lived. She didn't know who any of her friends were and had no way to find out. She was essentially a stranger.

Tears began to pour out of her eyes as the phone continued to ring unanswered. She was sobbing, and her knees buckled from underneath her as she collapsed onto the bed. _That's it. She's gone. I'll never see her again, and no one will ever know that I love her or she loved me. I don't know if I can-_

"Hey." Quinn's eyes opened in shock and her heart stopped breathing. There she was thinking the worst, thinking that the woman she loved more than life was mortally wounded or already dead, and Rachel sounded so casual, almost uninterested.

"Rachel?" She managed to rasp out. "Oh my god, I was so worried. Where have you been? I've left you four messages and you didn't reply once! And you didn't reply last night either! I thought…I thought…" She broke out into sobs again, unable to say any more as the tears flooded her face.

Rather than being loving and consoling as Quinn expected, Rachel sighed, almost as if she was irritated.

"I'm sorry. Everything's fine, stop crying. The battery died and I didn't realize." If the cold tone Rachel had greeted her with had made her pause, this stopped Quinn in her tracks. Rachel may have gotten better at reading people, but Quinn was still the master, and she knew Rachel better than anyone. She heard the lie as clear as day.

"What?"

"I said that the batte-" Quinn cut her off angrily.

"NO Rachel!" There was a pause on the end of the phone.

"Look, I don't understand what you mean." Another lie. Quinn's over-emotional state easily translated into anger.

"What the hell is this, Rachel? Why are you lying? What's going on?" She was frozen on her bed, her free hand fisted tightly resting on her thigh. There was another pause and a sigh.

"What are you talking about? I'm not-" This time Quinn couldn't control her voice and yelled directly down the phone because she was so enraged that the one person she trusted was lying to her.

"THE HELL YOU'RE NOT!" Her eyes widened, surprised that she could ever feel this much anger towards Rachel. She took a deep breath, and tried to calm herself. "Rachel, please don't treat me like a fool. You're lying to me. You've been ignoring me since this morning at least. Something _is_ going on. We're supposed to tell each other the truth, no matter what." She was quiet as her eyes screwed shut, trying not to let any of the freshly formed tears escape. "I'm only going to ask you this one more time." She gritted her teeth together, praying that the new disaster situations she was imagining that were the reason Rachel was lying to her were as untrue as her idea of Rachel being dead. "What. Is. Going. On?"

Rachel had been mostly on auto-pilot since she woke up on Christmas day. She had gone to bed late, so she was still tired when her alarm woke her up at six. She managed to get up and get dressed with little to no use of her higher brain functions. Going into the kitchen, she packed everything she had prepared the day before into a large bag (somehow managing to forget the cookies she had made, the cookies that would force her to think about Quinn). When she arrived at her fathers' home she couldn't remember anything about the journey. She made her way into the house without knocking, knowing that her Dad would have succeeded in dragging Daddy to Church once again, even though he would complain about it for the rest of the year. She began cooking, putting the turkey in the oven with minimal consideration for the poor animal, and preparing the vegetables. She heard the door open and her fathers called out to her excitedly, but she waited for them to find her. As soon as she saw their brightly beaming faces, her own countenance crumpled and tears ran down her face. She stumbled forward and threw herself into her daddy's arms. Leroy, the tall African-american man, held her tight, while Hiram, who was shorter and of Jewish descent, moved behind her so that they could both comfort her. She apologized for ruining their day as they guided her to the couch in the living room, and she curled herself onto Leroy's lap, cradled in his arms, much as she had when she was a child. Hiram disappeared into the kitchen and then reappeared a moment later with a glass of water in a glass decorated with gold stars. He put it on the coffee table in front of her as her head was still hidden in her daddy's shoulder, and they waited for her to calm down enough to explain.

Eventually her sobs turned to light sniffling and she wiped her eyes, head still leaning on her father's chest. With one hand still cradling her back, he used the free one to lift her face towards him and smile gently at her, wiping her tears. She felt silly that she was 24 and she was crying in her father's arms like when she was five and had skinned her knee, but she stayed there. Hiram moved to sit on the coffee table, handing her the glass. She took it with one hand and he took her other and squeezed it gently as she sipped, her breathing calming. Eventually she knew they were waiting for an explanation. She looked Leroy in the eye, her lips trembling.

"Daddy," she started in a tiny, child-like voice. "I did something bad." The sadness in her voice was enough to break the men's hearts, and they both squeezed tight. Her eyes squeezed shut in her admission, and she had to take deep breaths.

She didn't want to elaborate, but she knew that they were going to ask, so she just waited for the questions.

"Oh, my beautiful girl," Hiram said quietly, brushing her hair behind her ear. "What happened?" She tried to keep the fresh tears in.

"I'm sorry dad. I can't tell you. I just can't." She let go of his hand and gripped hard onto her daddy's shirt.

"But baby, you can tell us anything, you know that. We love you no matter what. You're a good person, you couldn't possibly do anything to change that." She looked at Hiram with watery eyes, trying and failing to smile at him.

"I'm not so sure about that."

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, until she took a deep breath and shifted on her daddy's lap.

"I'm sorry for starting the day off so badly. This is supposed to be a celebration… Can we maybe talk about this after lunch?" The two men nodded and watched her as she stood up and wiped her eyes with her thumbs and sniffled a little. "Um, the turkey's in the oven, and everything else just needs to be cooked. I'm going to go upstairs and wash up a little." They both nodded silently at her again and she walked slowly up the stairs. Going into her old room, she stood for a moment with her eyes closed, breathing in the smell of her youth, when things were so much easier. She walked around the room, brushing her fingers across things every once in a while; her very first teddy bear, a photo of herself, Mercedes, Tina and Kurt at the Glee club sectionals competition in senior year, another of herself and Jesse in Central Park freshman year of college, her first trophy (proudly won at three months old). She wished hard that things were still so simple, but eventually gave up and walked into her old, en-suit bathroom, washing her face with cold water. She again avoided looking in the mirror, and walked back down into the kitchen.

She helped them finish the meal, and they sat down together, lightly chatting. The mood wasn't tense, or somber, and they laughed and smiled lightly, but she knew her fathers were treating her carefully. They finished the meal and dessert, opened gifts and eventually found themselves exhausted and full, huddled on the sofa together and watching Funny Girl. She felt her phone vibrate and quickly canceled the text as soon as she saw Quinn's alias on the ID (the third time that day).

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before she opened her mouth, pausing for a second before proceeding.

"I can't tell you what's going on. I just can't. But I really need you to try to listen to what I have to say and not dig any deeper than what I'm telling you. Do you think that'll be able to happen?" Leroy nodded, but her father replied.

"Baby, I wish you would tell us all the details, but we'll try our hardest to help." She snuggled into his side a little more."I know dad. Thanks though." She took a deep breath, and tried to explain her trouble without giving any details.

"I've done something, I still am. Something bad… Or, not necessarily." She sighed. "I don't know." Perplexed, Hiram tried to clarify.

"Well baby, in what way is it wrong and in what way is it not wrong?"

"Uh…well, it's something that's technically frowned upon in society. And at first glance it seems morally…well, pretty bad. But when you're on the inside of the situation it really isn't. In fact, it's maybe the only thing I've ever done right." By that she meant that although she was breaking a law by being in a relationship with a student, Quinn wasn't underage, and although she was in a position of authority, she wasn't taking advantage of Quinn. They were equals in the relationship. In fact, apart from the fact that they met because of school, it no longer had any real effect on their relationship. All she knew was that she had met a woman who she loved like no-one else before.

Leroy and Hiram sat for a moment, trying to make sure they understood. Leroy spoke.

"So, if you're so sure it's right, why are you worried? We've always told you not to listen to what everyone else tells you to do." Rachel swallowed hard.

"Because I'm scared I'm wrong. The part of me that thinks I'm not doing anything bad is…very emotionally involved." It was the part of her that loved Quinn that told her she was right. Love could often blind people to the truth. "And when I think about it, there is no-one who would back me up on my actions. Maybe not even you two." At this the two men shared an uncomfortable look. They had made sure that she knew since she was born that they would always support her. Whatever had got her thinking that would change must be serious. "Eventually…well let's say that there's a time limit on my problem. And when the time's up, the moral issue will be gone, but the social one will never change. I will always be judged by this choice if anyone finds out. I could lose everyone I love if they don't understand or accept it."

The two men were beginning to feel a little lost because of the ambiguity, but they were also worried. In spite of that, the instinct to care for their daughter prevailed, and they tried to reason with her.

"Well, baby, sometimes the only person who can judge something like this is yourself. You just need some perspective. In your heart of hearts, do you think that you would go to hell for what you're doing?" Hiram looked reproachfully towards Leroy. "What? Today's a religious holiday, it's relevant." Rachel tried to smile at the silly behavior of her daddy, but couldn't. Eventually she answered.

"No, I don't think I would go to hell." This was the truth. She wasn't hurting anyone, except maybe herself. They both let out an inaudible sigh of relief. That had to be at least a little good, right?

"OK, so no hell. Good. So the real problem is that you're scared what the consequences will be if people find out about this secret?" She nodded slowly.

"You mentioned a time-frame. Will there be a jail sentence if people find out before that?"

"Almost definitely." Hiram swallowed loudly upon hearing her reply, and Leroy shifted uncomfortably. Hiram took over the questions from his husband. He replied slowly.

"Well… sometimes the law isn't always right" he said, rubbing his bare ring finger with his right hand. "As long as you haven't killed someone, or robbed them, or harmed anyone, I think you really just have to ask yourself; is it worth the risk of losing maybe everyone you know, maybe even us, to continue whatever it is that's going on?" He hadn't meant the question to come out in such a foreboding tone, but the way the sentence was phrased made Rachel feel sick. She put both hands over her face, trying to think. They both saw the exhaustion and defeat on her face and each wrapped an arm around her. Hiram told her that she should go and take a nap in her old room, and she nodded, too exhausted to do anything but agree. Leroy pulled her up by the hand and then led her up the stairs, coming back five minutes later. He fell into his husband's open arms and they held each other tightly, worried for their daughter.

Rachel woke up a few hours later to the sound of her phone ringing. She looked at the ID and sighed, seeing that Quinn was calling, and that she'd also missed another text from the blond. She felt slightly guilty about ignoring the blond so callously, but she needed to get her head straight, and that was a struggle for her when it came to Quinn. Looking over to the clock she saw that it was seven in the evening. She had slept for three hours, which was unlike her, but she felt like she had come to somewhat of a decision during her extended nap. She hit reply and tried to sound as casual as possible, as if she hadn't spent the day ignoring Quinn's messages and crying to her fathers.

"Hey." She winced as Quinn's voice was ragged and panicked down the phone.

"Rachel? Oh my god, I was so worried. Where have you been? I've left you four messages and you didn't reply once! And you didn't reply last night either! I thought…I thought…" She heard sobbing on the end of the line, and guilt washed through her. As much as she wanted to comfort her though, she was exhausted and wary of hurting the girl by being honest and telling her that she was ignoring her.

"I'm sorry. Everything's fine, stop crying. The battery died and I didn't realize." There was a pause for a second before Quinn replied, and Rachel was worried to hear that her voice was angry.

"What?"

"I said that the batte-" Quinn cut her off angrily.

"NO Rachel!" Rachel knew that Quinn had seen through her lie. She didn't know what was worse, that she had lied at all, or that Quinn knew so easily and was so hurt. She tried to play it cool, hoping that Quinn would just drop it. It would make everything easier.

"Look, I don't understand what you mean." Rachel smoothly said. Another lie.

"What the hell is this, Rachel? Why are you lying? What's going on?" Rachel was frozen on the bed, her eyes welded shut in regret. She sighed.

"What are you talking about? I'm not-" This time Quinn cut her off with a full blown yell.

"THE HELL YOU'RE NOT!" Her eyes widened, surprised that she could ever incur this much anger from the blond.

"Rachel, please don't treat me like a fool. You're lying to me. You've been ignoring me since this morning at least. Something _is going on. We're supposed to tell each other the truth, no matter what." Rachel felt sick with the guilt that she was hurting Quinn so much. "I'm only going to ask you this one more time. What. Is. Going. On?"_

_**Alright, so i know that this is right in the middle of all the angst, but i think i'll probably post again quite soon because i was on a roll with this chapter.**_

_**I warn you now that there is more angst to come, and then it gets better, and then it gets a whole lot worse. You guys are in for a ride!**_

_**Hope you're all enjoying and please keep posting and commenting.**_

_**Until next time ;)  
**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

_**F****irst things first; i am SOOOOOOO sorry it took so long to update. 'Flu plus writers' block makes for a super bad time in terms of the fic. I'm hoping to finish another chapter tonight and have it posted asap. And it's one that i think you'll like...**_

_**Next, sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. Seriously, i said it'd be the next day and it was 2 weeks. So i'm really sorry.**_

_**This chap is kind of a resolution to the angst for now, but there is more coming.**_

_**Again thank you for all your comments/reviews etc. It means so much that people actually like my writing.  
**_

_**Silentinformer, just had to mention that your comment "Reality really kicked Rachel in the nads, didn't it" made me laugh out loud in my empty dormroom.**_

_**Enjoy **_

_**(Oh, and anyone reading who chills out on the L chat, HAIIII! Love it over there, can't believe i got a mention :DDDD)  
**_

Rachel's eyes were welling up. She could literally feel the hurt that she was causing Quinn by lying to her. It was like a wolf tearing into her abdomen and causing her heart to drop down from her ribs and spill onto the carpet. She forced herself to keep breathing, and cast her watery eyes upward, wishing for instruction, guidance, anything. She supposed god was busy.

"Quinn, I…I…" She had no idea what to say. She didn't want to hurt Quinn, she loathed the very idea. But that was why she was doing what she was doing. She _had _to be the grownup. She had to think about things rationally, to try and make the decision that was best for them, so that Quinn didn't end up hurt. It was the lesser of two evils.

"What Rachel? What? Come on, tell me. Why would you lie to my face? Why the _hell_ do you think it's alright to ignore me, to make me think you're hurt, or worse? Why would you treat me like I'm illegitimate, like…like some dirty little secret." Quinn breathed out a panicked little sob as she said those final words. That was how she felt: like she was something to be ashamed of, something that Rachel didn't think was important, and that was something that Rachel had _sworn _would never happen.

Rachel felt as if the world was crushing in on her, like she was imploding into her stomach. She had to do something; had to say something.

"Quinn, please. Stop making this harder than it already is for me." Hearing those words, those decisive, harsh words, made Quinn's breathing stop altogether. She felt like she was seconds away from a panic attack.

"Rachel," she sobbed out, fear returning full force "what are you saying? Are you… are you breaking up with me?" Tears were freely streaming down both of their faces, and Quinn was balling her fisted hand so much that she had actually managed to draw blood. She was so scared, so confused. _What the hell is going on? Why is this happening? This time yesterday everything was so good._ She knew that Rachel's lengthy pause was a bad sign. When she did reply, her voice was filled with defeat, resignation.

"No Quinn, I'm not breaking up with you" Quinn exhaled a sharp sob of relief "But I just… there are some things I need to think about." The brunette's words caused Quinn's face to twist in pain, but she tried to keep a handle on herself.

"Rachel, please I…I don't understand. Yesterday everything was so good, and now…and now what? Please, you promised you'd never treat me like a child, please just tell me what's going on." Silence. "Rachel, tell me the truth!"

The sharpness of the blond's words shocked Rachel into explanation. Quinn was right. She had promised to always tell the truth, to never treat her like a child. The way Rachel was behaving was torturous.

"Look Quinn, I… after last night, with your parents, I just…I got scared. I don't know what I'm doing any more. I love you, but…sometimes love isn't enough to keep people together. I'm scared this is one of those times."

"Last night? But it was fine! Nothing happened. You got out of the house, no-one was any the wiser. Nothing's changed. This is _not_ one of those times."

"But it _has _changed, Quinn. It has for me. We were almost caught, it could've been…oh god I don't even want to imagine what would've happened." Quinn scrunched her nose in confused irritation, the pitch of her voice rising in frustration.

"But this is the way it's always been, Rach. We keep our secret or there's big trouble. It never stopped you before."

"NO Quinn! That's NOT the way it's always been. Not for me." She paused, trying to regain her composure. "I just - I always knew what the risks were intellectually, but it just never really felt like that's the way it was. We always had an alibi for being alone together. And all the time we were at school I was…blinded. Because I _love _you - Oh god I love you so much Quinn and it - it distracted me from the fact that if we slip up _once _I will end up in jail, and in all likelihood I will never see you again." She shrugged even though Quinn couldn't see it, tears shining on her face in the dark room.

Quinn just didn't know what to say or do. She had always known what the consequences were, had always been afraid, but Rachel's sureness had voided any doubts she had. To find out that Rachel's confidence had been not much more than a psychological quirk of being in love was devastating. All she wanted to do was be held by Rachel, see her face, really talk about what was going on. If they were in the same room, Quinn would be able to coax the conversation out of Rachel.

"I need to see you. When are you getting back? We need to talk about this properly, we need to…we can't just let this break us Rachel. It's only six months until June, we can survive six months." Quinn finally allowed exhaustion to take her, collapsing sideways onto the bed, her head hitting the pillows, and she instantly curled in on herself.

"I don't know Quinn. I think I might…stay here with my dads. Just until the end of winter break. I need to do some thinking, and it'll be easier if I don't see you while that happens." Quinn noticed that her pillow was wet with tears, but she didn't care as she squeezed her eyes closed and shook her head from side to side.

"No Rachel, please, _please _come back. I need to see you, we need to deal with this. We're supposed to be in this together."

"Quinn, just…just give me time. I promise we'll talk about it when I get back, I just need time. I need my head to be clear, and I can't do that around you." At Rachel's words all pretence evaporated and Quinn started crying in earnest, not even bothering to hold it back. She curled in on herself tightly, crossed her arms around her chest. Every once in a while Rachel would try and sooth Quinn, but it didn't really do any good. Quinn felt like they were completely severed from each other. She felt like she was paralyzed, and couldn't feel part of herself; they were still attached, but she couldn't feel the connection.

After about twenty minutes, she was too tired to cry any more. She had her cell wedged between her ear and the pillow, and she could still hear Rachel breathing on the other end of the line. She hated herself for the small comfort she felt that Rachel hadn't just hung up. She was quiet for a few minutes before Rachel said anything. Quinn could hear from the thick raspyness of her voice that Rachel had been crying too.

"I know you don't want to hear this right now Quinn, but I love you. No matter what, I will always love you." Unable to summon up any emotion other than bitterness, Quinn could only spit out a harsh retort.

"Yeah Rachel? Well you've got a shitty way of showing it." She was praying that Rachel would lose it at her words, and feel so guilty that she would chicken out of this "staying at her dads'" bullshit and come home.

"I know baby. But that doesn't mean it's not true." Quinn felt as if her throat had constricted. She couldn't talk anymore. Rachel gave up on any hope of a response. "Um, well I guess I'm gonna go then. I'll see you soon Quinn, OK?…OK…" She tailed off and was about to hang up. Quinn's heart started hammering wildly, panicking that the situation would be left like that.

"WAIT, Rachel!" the brunette woman paused, and waited rather than pushing for the reason. Eventually the blond spoke through a wet sob.

"I need you Rachel. What if I…What if I need you? If my parents get drunk tomorrow night and start tearing me down and I have…I don't have anyone else Rach. I need you." Hearing the desperation in her love's voice, Rachel's eyes welled up once again.

"I don't know Quinn. I really need you to respect my decision and give me some space. If you really have to, you can call, but try not to do it just because you want to. Please?" Quinn swallowed around the painful lump in her throat.

"OK" she whispered, the only reply she could manage. She sniffed and sighed, letting her love for Rachel overcome her fear and anger for a moment. "I love you Rachel."

The teacher's heart constricted as she heard Quinn's words; she had been afraid she would never hear them again.

"I love you too Quinn. So, so much."

"Please, just…when you're making your decision, remember that, OK? Goodbye." She hung up before Rachel was able to say goodbye, afraid of how final it would sound. She turned her face into her pillow, and breathed heavily for a moment before she screamed as hard as she could into it.

When she finally exhausted herself, she still couldn't bring herself to fall asleep. Her eyes found the wall and she stared blankly at it for god knows how long. She was just waiting. Waiting for the end of the hellish week without Rachel to begin and end.

On the first day back at school after vacation, Rachel couldn't decide if she was scared or nervous about seeing Quinn. When she reached the final class of the day, her senior class, and Quinn wasn't there, she realized she had been more excited, as the disappointment was overwhelming. When she asked, Puck told her that she had seen Quinn going to the nurse's office after Math (meaning, after his daily nap). She nodded and forced a smile before trying to concentrate on what she was teaching. They had improved in their knowledge immensely since the beginning of the year, and she was at least a little proud that she had managed to make such a change. She told them to get into groups and discuss the defining characteristics of certain genres of music, sneaking off to her desk to check her phone. No messages.

Quinn had managed to keep her promise over the week and not call Rachel, so she thought that it was ironic how desperate she was to hear from the blond now. She sent a quick message (_Funny how you feel sick only before last period. Is there any chance you'll be feeling better at about the time everyone else has gone home, or could you possibly make it to my place after school? I really want to talk. X)_ before heading back out and circulating around the class to check on everyone's progress. She realised that it was amazing how much less she enjoyed teaching that final class of the day when she was waiting for it to be over instead of hoping for it to last. When the bell finally rang, she set the homework quickly and allowed them to leave. One girl stayed behind to explain that she would have to miss class the next day, but Rachel smiled and tried to get her out of the door so she could check her phone for Quinn's reply. She waved the girl goodbye and then snatched the device from the desk; no reply. Sighing hard, she sank to the chair and allowed her forehead to slump to the smooth wood of the desk, but as quiet settled around the room she realized that there was someone shuffling in the doorway. She looked over to see Quinn, stony-faced, jaw locked, and silently sighed in relief. She stood and forced a relaxed half-smile.

"Quinn. I was worried you wouldn't come." A litany of bitter retorts sprang into Quinn's mind when Rachel said this, most of them about her phone dying, but she thought better of it and remained silent.

"Can you um…can you close the door and sit down please?" Quinn rolled her eyes slightly at the request, but complied and quickly sat down on the chair opposite Rachel. She resisted the urge to slide her hand across the desk to where Rachel was nervously drumming her fingers, instead slipping them between the chair and her thighs. She couldn't make herself meet Rachel's eyes.

Rachel waited a moment to see if Quinn would smile, or look at her, or at least acknowledge her, but the girl didn't move from her stoic position, so Rachel tried to break the tension, as usual, with talk.

"I've missed you Quinn." The blonde didn't even indicate that she had heard anything, but Rachel could see her jaw tense as if she was trying to stop herself from speaking. The teacher couldn't decide if she was stopping herself from saying how much she missed her or how much she hated her. It was unnerving.

"Did you…enjoy your vacation?" Finally, Quinn met her eyes, and Rachel wished that she hadn't. Her eyes were red and swollen, but underneath that Rachel could see the dark shadows and how bloodshot they were, indicating that she had barely slept. There was anger in there too, and sorrow, and everything that Rachel hoped never to see directed at, or caused by, herself. The brunette audibly swallowed back the lump in her throat and tried to think of something, _anything_ to say to Quinn to make it all better. There was nothing. She cursed internally and decided to just say what she had to say. She closed her eyes and tried to summon the courage within herself that she had found wasn't quite as epic as she had once thought. She took a deep breath.

"Quinn. Do you love me?" The blond's eyes stretched in shock, horrified that she needed to ask a question like that, but Rachel continued before she could answer. "When you're 100% honest with yourself, do you think you truly love me, that you want a real _adult _relationship with me? A future? Do you want a house, and a wedding, a puppy, unpaid bills, getting pissed off at me about singing too loud and waking you up at six on a Sunday, and a tiny little Rachel running around and getting lipstick on your favorite shirt?" Quinn's heart twisted as she listened, and tears fell unbidden from her eyes. She knew wholeheartedly that what Rachel had just described to her was everything that her soul craved. The tears streamed as she looked at Rachel open-mouthed and unable to answer.

"I love you like that Quinn. I want…I _need _those things. I've spent the past week feeling like I'm a child, crying into my daddy's shoulder, trying to figure out how the hell I feel. And that's it.

"But I also feel scared. I want to be with you, and I know you want to be with me, but I don't know if you feel that strongly. You have so much life left to live, I don't want you to be in a heavy relationship like that if you're only really interested in the here and now. And I know that I shouldn't be selfish, and this makes me sound like a callous bitch, but I feel like I have more riding on this than you do. If we risk this now and get caught, then my career will be over. It might still be over if someone finds out after you graduate. I could go to jail. For a long time. My friends and family will all abandon me. You'll get some reprimanding looks, and most people will chalk it up to you being taken advantage of by me. And I know your parents would flip their shit, but you have a plan to get away from them now.

"I know that we love each other, but if in a few months you find that you're not as in love as you thought, or wanting someone else, and I find myself in jail for something you weren't really that invested in, it'll break me. So I need to know now. Do you love me? Will you love me in twenty years when I'm getting frown lines and bitching because you forgot to put out the garbage _again_ and when I say I'm too tired for sex, but I actually feel too unattractive? I'm giving you a get out of jail free card right now, but you need to tell me; you need to be honest."

The fear and hope in Rachel's eyes was physically painful to Quinn. She had gone into that office _so ready_ to fight and scream and tell Rachel how much pain she had caused, but hearing Rachel talk had made her realise that there was more at stake than she had originally thought. Now wasn't the time for anger and demanded apologies. They would have to talk about it sometime, _but not tonight _Quinn thought as she stood and walked around the table. She came to a stop next to Rachel, who was still sitting and busily concentrating on not letting Quinn see her tears. The blonde reached out a hand and cupped Rachel's cheek, turning her to look up at her and meet her eyes. She took one of Rachel's other hands in her own and made sure she was looking. Now was the time to get the truth out in the open.

"Rachel. I…" The brunette froze in anticipation, as if she was waiting for a jury's verdict. "I think we should stop seeing each other." With those words Rachel's face crumbled. Her tears were hot and wet against her cheeks as she sobbed, squeezing Quinn's hand tightly in her own. She had been praying that she would get _any_ answer other than that one, but apparently god was still ignoring her. Quinn removed her hand from Rachel's cheek as the teacher launched forward and buried her face in Quinn's tummy, wrapping her arms around the girl's waist. She was struggling to breathe because she was sobbing so hard, but she refused to pull herself away from Quinn; if this was the last time she would get to touch the girl with any kind of intimacy, then she wasn't going to give it up by choice, no matter what her body needed. She would rather have Quinn than air anyway.

Eventually she felt the blond girl's hands wrap themselves around her forearms, tugging them away from her waist. Rachel sobbed even harder, trying not to allow her grip to be broken, but she was weak and exhausted from crying. _This is it then_, she thought as the cold air met the skin of her face. She sat limply with her eyes closed, waiting for the inevitable goodbye, but it never came. Her arms were still in Quinn's grip, being brought forward. She opened her eyes to see the blond kneeling in front of her, pulling Rachel (who was at that point really not much more than a shaking mass) down into her lap. Rachel surged forward, burying her face in the crook of Quinn's neck and wrapping her arms around the girl's shoulders. She was gratified to find the embrace returned measure for measure, and she cried even harder in gratitude as she straddled Quinn's knees. She didn't know what was going on, but she didn't care as Quinn soothed her, shushing her and whispering reassuring words into her ear as they knelt on the floor.

Finally Rachel calmed, but she still didn't let go of Quinn. The blond figured she would have to explain herself there.

"Rachel, when you didn't return any of my calls or messages on Christmas I was…so scared that something had happened to you. I had no one I could talk to about it, I don't know any of your friends or family, I couldn't contact them to ask where you were, if everything was OK. I felt so much like your dirty little secret, so illegitimate, and it hurt because you're my _everything_. I need you to be my everything. I need you to be the woman I look at in 50 years and think 'my god, she is so beautiful.' I need to look at my children and think how much like you they behave.

"You act like you're so much older, so much more experienced, and maybe you are in some respects, but six years is not the difference between childhood and enlightenment. It means that I haven't done a couple of things that you have, it doesn't mean I don't know that I want them. I need the chance to show you that I know what I want, and to do that I need to be with you, _really _be with you, and that's something we can't do right now." Rachel's arms squeezed a little tighter around her shoulders, but she didn't interrupt. "Over the past week I've been so, _so angry_ at you. I kept thinking 'It's only five months now until I graduate, why is she being such a coward? Why can't she just suck it up for such a short amount of time?'" Quinn pushed Rachel back by her shoulders slightly so she could meet her eyes. She pushed her messy hair back behind her ears and left her palms resting on her cheeks. "And I was right." Rachel tensed up and looked down, tears welling in her eyes again, but Quinn just wiped them away with her thumbs and continued. "But you aren't the one being the coward. You're scared, yes, but you were also using your head, which I wasn't. I'm the coward here. I wouldn't allow myself to let you go for even a second, I wouldn't let myself see that we just _can't _do this right now…" Rachel's face was a mask of confusion. "It is only five months. If I really love you I can restrain myself for such a short amount of time. I can be brave, and suffer through five months without kissing you or touching you, so you don't have to risk getting caught and suffering something much worse." Rachel's lips quivered. "So I don't think we should see each other any more, _for now._" Finally the hope was back in Rachel's eyes, and relief washed through Quinn. "But keep the day after graduation free, I have an epic date planned."

Rachel threw herself forward, squeezing Quinn tight. She was careful not to kiss her, not sure what exactly Quinn would want her to do or not do at that point. She revelled in the feeling of Quinn's arms holding her tight once again. After a few minutes, when the tears had finally stopped flowing from both of their eyes, Quinn shifted uncomfortably, her legs probably losing feeling considering Rachel had been on top of her bent knees for so long. Rachel levered herself up from the floor and offered Quinn her hand to take. When they were both standing the blond wrapped her arms back around Rachel and rested her forehead against the shorter woman's. They both had their eyes closed, and Quinn, not wanting to break the (finally) comfortable quiet around them, whispered to her.

"Rachel?"

"Hmm" She responded with a contented hum.

"We need to actually talk about this past week. You really hurt me, and I didn't realize it but you were hurting too. I don't us to not talk and then hear it brought up in every argument we have for the next ten years." Quinn could feel Rachel's brow furrow with sadness and pain, and felt the nod of agreement.

"We should, you're right. What do you want to do?" Rachel almost found it funny that she was the one who had insisted she needed time to think and decide on what they should do, but here Quinn was taking the lead, making the decision of what should happen. Rachel had never managed to come up with a conclusion about what she wanted to do over the past week, she just needed to know that the love that she felt was returned point for point, and was worth risking her liberty, her career, and her heart for. Quinn took a step back, but let her hands slide into Rachel's so they were still connected.

"Um, well we need to get out of here before they lock us in, and we really need some privacy. Your place would be the best option really. Is that OK?"

Rachel bit her lip and nodded. Quinn smiled shakily at her and lead her out of the building, separating to go to their cars, Quinn following Rachel out of the lot.

**_Right, so i hope you guys liked the chap, because if you didn't then i feel even worse that it took so long._**

**_I really struggled with this one, when i hit the middle i just had no idea where it was going, and then i got sick. Hopefully i've moved past the tricky part and i'm felling better so i'm praying it'll come a little more easily from now on. _**

**_Like i said, i'm going to try and write another chapter *that you should like* and have it posted by tomorrow to say sorry for being so useless. But of course, i said i would post by the next day last time and didn't so idk what you're going to believe._**

**_Feel free to leave a review telling me how mad at me you are, or if there's something you liked go ahead and mention that too. I love reading them, they're a real highland - Sorry, highlight ;) - to my day._**

**_Until next time :)  
_**


	17. Chapter 17

**_Ok everyone, jsyk it's 6.33am and i haven't been to bed yet because i've been writing this. It's SUPER_ _non-proofed, so sorry for all the errors._**

**_This is maybe the longest chap i've written so far, and i hope it makes up for the two week dry spell. On the plus side i'm over the block, and this is something you will _hopefully_ enjoy _a lot._  
_**

**_Thanks for the comments and stuff, keep 'em coming._**

**_Enjoy.  
_**

**Chapter 17**

Rachel arrived at her place first; Quinn had hit a red light a little way behind her and she had lost sight of her, but Rachel was almost glad because it gave her a little more time to collect herself. She let herself in, and quickly rushed to take off her work clothes and put on something a little more comfortable. She settled for dark blue slouch-fit Jeans that she only wore when she was feeling particularly in need of comfort and/or something to make her feel good about herself, as well as a pale stony-brown shirt which was loose but not baggy in some places, but clung perfectly in others, and had half-length sleeves. She put her hair up in a high pony, and allowed herself a moment to wash the tear stains from her face, not bothering to put on shoes before slouching into the kitchen to make herself a mug of peppermint tea. She settled into the large cushions on the couch to wait, and, in what had become a familiar act, looked out into her backyard as night approached.

After a few minutes she heard a light knock at the door and, as had happened on Christmas Eve, called out for the girl to let herself in. She watched over her shoulder as the girl entered, a smallish tote-bag on her shoulder, looked around the room and finally made her way over to the sofa, her standard white tennis shoes squeaking as she crossed the well-polished floorboards. She stood in front of Rachel and smiled.

"Do you mind if I go change? Coach makes us wear our uniforms a size too small 'as incentive'. It doesn't exactly make for high comfort." Rachel gave the girl the barest hint of a smile as she nodded, reclining back into the cushions and cradling her tea as the girl made her way down the hallway to her room. Rachel smiled, realizing that Quinn probably had no idea that the impressive sliding doors to the right of the room led to a formal living room/dining room with a half-bath off it that she could use, and that would probably be quicker. She chuckled lightly and shook her head, both at the fact that she never used either room, and that Quinn never had either.

When the blond returned, she did indeed look much more comfortable. She was wearing a simple black dress with white polka-dots that buttoned two thirds of the way down the front, a long slate-grey cardigan, and ankle length white socks, with her hair loose over her shoulder. She put the bag on the floor, and put the pair of round-toe brown ankle length boots she was holding down to next to it. Rachel shuffled over to make space as she sat, and they watched silently as a bird flew down to the grass of the small yard before picking something up and quickly swooping out into the night. Quinn found her left hand captured by Rachel's right, but she didn't look over, instead watching darkness descend. When she finally couldn't see anything outside and did look over, Rachel was turned fully towards Quinn, as if she had been watching her the entire time.

"I was scared." Were the first things to come out of her mouth. "I still am."

"I was too. And I was being impatient. I didn't realize that we could wait, it didn't even occur to me before." There was silence for a beat, and both looked away from each other, thinking, before they looked back and started again.

"You were treating me like-"

"It wasn't about you being younger, it-"

"Rachel, I wasn't going to say a child. I was going to say you were treating me like I wasn't actually part of the relationship, like you were all alone and had to make the decisions. You didn't explain what you were going to do or how you felt." Rachel looked guilty and nodded, turning away, but Quinn didn't want her to feel guilty any more; the point of the conversation was to get rid of those feelings, so she took Rachel's hand and brought her attention back. "I would've understood. I wouldn't have been happy that you were going to be away for a week, but I would've been OK with it if you had explained how you felt. There must've been a reason why. I want you to always talk to me, even if I won't like it." Rachel rested the elbow of the hand Quinn wasn't holding on her knee and rested her chin on her palm and nodded again.

"I guess…I guess I was acting like I felt alone…_because_ I felt alone." Quinn's brow furrowed, upset that Rachel felt like that. She noticed Quinn's face change and tried to elaborate. "Not - not because you weren't there for me, just… I usually try and process this kind of stuff externally. I talk to my friends, I talk to my dads, try and get my feelings organized before I discuss them with a girlfriend or whatever. My head tends to be a little chaotic and I like to get everything in order before I try and address any problems." Quinn just watched her talk, not interrupting. They were finally getting somewhere, to the place they used to be in. Rachel continued. "It was hard trying to do that when I couldn't tell my dads what the actual problem was. I felt alone because I was scared. This was the one time I couldn't talk to anyone else, and I didn't want to just launch into some massive rant about how scared I was with you because I know you're scared too and it's not fair." She was talking paragraphs in single breaths now, clearly getting more and more worked up. Quinn lifted a hand to Rachel's cheek, trying to get her back out of her head.

"Rachel, it's OK. Take a deep breath. We're OK right now, just…I don't want you to have a panic attack or something!" She smiled at the brunette as she joked, trying to get her to calm a little, and was rewarded as she smiled back, at least a little. Rachel closed her eyes and nuzzled her face into Quinn's palm slightly, took a deep breath and then looked into the hazel eyes in front of her. They held each others gaze for a few moments.

"Rachel, in five months time, we are going to do this properly, we're going to do it right. You can introduce me to your friends and talk to them about me, I can meet your dads, and I won't be scared that if something happens I won't have anyone to contact." The brunette looked troubled, but Quinn continued to talk. "Sweetheart, they _love_ you. They might freak a little at first, but they won't abandon you." She smiled and tried a joke once again to break the tension. "I mean, they've stuck with you all these years in spite of the fact that you talk more than the rest of the world combined, right?" She knew it had worked when Rachel put on her 'I'm covering up a smile' pout, and pushed her knee reprimandingly. "And don't forget Rachel, I _will _be there. They will be able to talk to me, I'll be able to talk to them, you won't have to just defend both of us on your own. Don't you think they'll like me?"

Rachel took a deep breath, finally calming down. Quinn was right, they would like her, and she was smart enough and mature enough to hold her own with them. She twisted sideways so she was facing the windows again, and leaned her head against Quinn's shoulder.

"You're right. They'll like you. They'll freak at first…like _really_ freak… but you're an impressive person, Quinn Fabray. And until they come around, I'll still have you. I guess I could _try_ talking to you first when I have something going on in my head. But you have to promise not to get annoyed." Quinn smiled and nodded, then shuffled around and leaned her head against the top of Rachel's. They sat contentedly for a while, arms wrapped around each other, eyes closed, and just listened to each other's breathing.

"See, isn't it better when we talk about stuff?" Quinn asked quietly. She felt Rachel chuckle and nod under her cheek, before squeezing her arms a little tighter around Quinn's stomach.

"Five months is going to be a long time" Rachel murmured.

"I know."

"It'll be worth it though. No more sneaking around praying that nobody noticed anything. No more worrying about each other without knowing where you are or what's going on…No more threat of prison." Quinn buried her nose into Rachel's hair and squeezed her tight. There was one last thing that was troubling her.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. You were risking a lot for us to be together, I never even thought about it. I mean I knew, but…" She sighed, frustrated, at both herself and her inability to express herself. "My parents would've disowned me if they found out, still will, but they're going to do that when I tell them I'm taking a music degree, and I know you'll always take care of me, so I wasn't really scared of that. You risked your family, friends, career, freedom, everything good in your life, and I just didn't realize." Rachel pushed Quinn back so she could look into her eyes.

"Quinn, it's OK. I was scared that you wouldn't be willing to risk all those things, that I was the crazy teacher who was just taking advantage of a student and I had just convinced myself that you loved me. But I know now that you would risk those things if you had to."

"That's just the thing though Rachel. I haven't shown you what I'm willing to risk, not yet anyway." Rachel bit her lower lip with worry; she had no idea what Quinn was talking about. The blond stood up and pulled Rachel up too, resting her hands on the brunette's hips.

"I do have something to risk, and if we're going to be apart for five months, then I want to prove to you that I'm as invested in this relationship as you are, that I'm willing to risk what I have." Before Rachel had a chance to ask what she meant, Quinn took one of her hands and lead her down the corridor to Rachel's room.

As they entered, Rachel being dragged behind, Quinn turned towards her in the middle of the room, softly placed her palms on Rachel's cheeks and brought their faces close together.

"I want to show you how much I love you, I want to show you that I'll give anything that I have for you." She leaned in and gently pressed her lips to Rachel's. She knew it was a surprise to the woman, having just told her that they shouldn't be together until the summer, but she needed to prove that she was just as invested as Rachel was; she didn't do any more than press their lips together until Rachel started to react. She felt as the woman uncertainly placed one hand on Quinn's hip and the other on her cheek. The brunette held her tight and kissed her sweetly before slowly pulling away to look into hazel eyes. She felt like she hadn't seen them, _really_ seen them, for years. They shared breaths for a moment before Rachel closed her eyes and made herself speak, stepping back and parting their bodies.

"Quinn, what are you doing?" Quinn looked hard into the pools of chocolate in front of her.

"I'm not going to be separated from you for five months without making sure that you know how much I want this. How much I want you, us." Rachel shuffled uncomfortably.

"Quinn, I don't know…"

"Please Rachel, don't make me wait five months. I want it, and I want you to know." At this point she stepped forward, taking Rachel's face back in her hands, and slowly pressed kisses to her cheeks and jaw. Rachel was breathing heavily, whimpering every once in a while as she exhaled, closing her eyes as Quinn caused the creature in the pit of her stomach to stir.

Suddenly she grasped Quinn's hands in her own, pulling them away from her face and causing Quinn to stumble back a little. Her chest was heaving and her dilated pupils were taking in every inch of Quinn's face.

"Tell me you love me." Quinn swallowed hard at the order, seeing Rachel's dominant side rear its head.

"I love you." Quinn rasped out. Rachel licked her lips.

"Tell me you want me to do this." Quinn saw that there was pleading in her eyes mixed in with lust. What the blond was offering up meant everything to Rachel; she wanted to be certain the girl was sure. Quinn's reply was barely a whisper.

"Rachel, please. I love you. I want you to know that I'll give you everything I have." She stepped forward and bowed her head slightly so her mouth was next to Rachel's ear, chin grazing her shoulder. "I want you to take my virginity Rachel, please." Her heart was beating wildly, with both fear and lust.

Rachel inhaled sharply, and without any further talk she dropped Quinn's arms and slid her hands into the silky locks at the back of Quinn's head, crushing their lips together with a grunt. Quinn whimpered and held on to the back of Rachel's shirt, grasping the fabric hard in her hands. Her eyes were screwed shut as she weathered the kiss, which was more an assault than anything. Rachel's lips were bruisingly harsh, and when Quinn parted her mouth to allow Rachel's tongue, she found her lower lip being squeezed between Rachel's teeth. She cried out a little, in arousal rather than pain, and pulled Rachel closer to her. The brunette loosed her grip and then took the lip between her own, sucking and soothing with her tongue. She wanted to make everything incredible for Quinn, but she couldn't help but take that moment to sate some of the fiery passion within her.

Quinn could feel the heat in her lower belly grow because of Rachel's ministrations, and it only increased as Rachel's pace eventually slowed and she began to lap her tongue against Quinn's luxuriously, savoring everything, keeping her dominance. Every time Quinn's own tongue ventured into Rachel's mouth, she sucked lightly on it, causing Quinn to groan. The brunette's hands loosened in Quinn's hair, and she slid them slowly down her neck, up to her cheeks, down along her arms, over her hips. She caressed every inch of the girl that she could reach, and after a few minutes Quinn felt as though her entire body was on fire. Every time she felt Rachel's hands brush the bare skin of her neck she shivered. The woman slid her hands up to Quinn's shoulders a final time before pulling back. The darkness of Quinn's eyes made her mouth water; the girl was clearly as turned on as she was. She slipped her fingertips under the cardigan on the blond's shoulders and slipped it slowly down her arms before allowing it to drop to the floor.

Quinn felt herself trembling slightly as Rachel's hands slowly dragged up her now bare arms and settled on the sides of her face. She started pressing soft kisses to her lips as her hands slipped to the buttons at the front of the dress, and one by one, undid them until the dress was completely open along the front and hanging off the girl's lithe shoulders. She pulled back just enough to see Quinn's face, and noticing the hint of fear in her eyes, stepped back and pulled her own shirt over her head; she knew how vulnerable the girl would be feeling, and she wanted to make herself just as revealed. She heard Quinn inhale sharply at the sight of her body and smiled up at her as she dropped it to the floorboards, leaving her in a plain nude-colored bra and her Jeans; she was comfortable enough in her own skin to know that even though she wasn't wearing anything particularly sexy, she looked good. Quinn's hands were clutched together in front of her, but as Rachel's moved to the button of her jeans, the blond stepped forward, leaving about a foot of space between them, and clasped them in her own, before moving them out of the way and undoing the button and the zipper herself. She kept eye-contact as her hands slipped around to Rachel's hips before putting her thumbs through the belt-loops and pushing the jeans to the ground.

Rachel smiled soothingly at the girl and stepped forward out of the jeans, closing the gap between them. She leaned forward and kissed the girl's neck gently, before moving down to her collarbone and sucking slightly. As Quinn gasped, she pushed the dress slowly from her shoulders, finally revealing the girl to the low light that spilled into the room from the corridor. She looked down and was absolutely hypnotized by the contours of the blond's body. Quinn was wearing matching yellow lace underwear, and Rachel spent a few moments just drinking in the curve of the girl's hips and the taughtness of her stomach. It was then she noticed the distinct _lack_ of bulge in the girl's underwear.

"You don't…It's not…" She trailed off, not really sure what to say. Quinn noticed where she was looking and understood.

"I told you, it isn't always there. It's a time of the month only thing. It went on Tuesday." Rachel nodded absently, still kind of amazed at the whole situation, before snapping out of it.

"Well, this does make things a little more…familiar for me." She smiled as she bent back forwards and ran her hands softly over the blond's stomach and hips, before Quinn rasped out her name desperately.

Dragging her eyes up over the soft curves of Quinn's breasts and past her mouth, she finally reached her eyes, and saw the trepidation in them, the need for reassurance. She wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist, shivering at the contact of their thighs, their stomachs, their breasts separated only by two thin layers of fabric, and buried her face into Quinn's shoulder as the girl wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck. They held each other tightly for a moment before Rachel began rubbing her hands softly up and down Quinn's back, occasionally grazing her nails lightly down her spine, and dropped soft kisses onto the skin under her mouth. Her hands found the clasp of Quinn's bra and backed up a little and waited.

Quinn saw the love that Rachel poured out to her through her eyes and the fear within her receded. She nodded her permission slowly, and the brunette gently unclasped her bra as she resumed kissing the soft skin of her neck and jaw. Quinn's head tilted back and she lost herself to the pleasure Rachel's mouth was causing as she moved slowly upwards, feeling the cool air finally hit her burning skin of her breasts. She heard her bra falling onto the existing pile of her clothes before feeling Rachel kiss a spot behind her ear that made her shiver in anticipation, and lightly brush the shell of her ear with her tongue.

"I love you Quinn." The words alone had her panting even harder, and she opened her eyes to look upon the woman she loved so much.

"I love you Rachel, so much." She wished she could think of a way to really express how she felt; the words didn't seem strong enough.

Rachel took her hand and stepped back, visibly licking her lips as her eyes raked over Quinn's body once again, and seeing her breasts exposed for the first time, pink nipples hardened in the dim light. Quinn blushed shyly at the hunger in Rachel's eyes, before allowing Rachel to lead her around to the side of the bed by the hand. She manoeuvred the girl so that her back was to the bed, and she was silhouetted against the glass of the doors that led into the garden. She reached behind herself and unclasped her bra, dropping it thoughtlessly to the ground before stepping forward assuredly and taking Quinn back into her arms, kissing her with passion, but carefully. She moved slowly down the girl's neck, pushing her slightly so until her legs were flush against the side of the bed.

"You're so, so beautiful Quinn. I love you so much." The way Quinn looked at her then, with so much vulnerability, made her feel like her heart broke a thousand times at once. She could feel the pressure in her own eyes change, although she didn't know whether they were filling with tears or dilating with lust.

"I love you Rachel." The girl whispered back quietly, before kissing her gently and then moving back onto the bed and sliding up so she was lying with her head on her pillows. She looked up to the ceiling as she felt the bed contort under Rachel's weight. The woman settled at her side, caressing downwards from Quinn's face and pointedly avoiding her bare breasts. She slipped further down the girls, brushing her fingers tantalizingly low on her stomach, before running smoothly down her legs and lifting one up in her hands. She bent forward and kissed the outside of the thigh closest to her, holding it with one hand as the other peeled off her sock. She left a lingering kiss on the leg as she put it back down onto the bed and lifted the other leg, placing another soft kiss on the leg, but this time on the inside thigh, as she repeated her previous actions. She pressed a few extra kisses to Quinn's inner thigh, making her shiver with want. She could feel her panties growing increasingly wet, and the proximity of Rachel's mouth to her sex was making her ache with want. With her socks finally gone, Rachel shifted and settled a knee either side of Quinn's hips so she was straddling the girl, looking down at her with nothing short of adoration. She put her hands either side of the blond's shoulders before leaning down and pressing a sweet kiss to her lips. Her right hand slipped across, up Quinn's ribs, making her tingle, until it caressed the soft skin on the underside of her right breast, and finally made contact with the throbbing nipple.

Finally feeling some relief made Quinn realize that Rachel had been teasing her without her even knowing it, touching her without providing any kind of relief, touching her anywhere but where she really wanted it. She cried out at the first touch.

"Oh, god." She could feel Rachel smile against her neck as her lips slowly traveled downwards. Expecting more teasing, she gasped as Rachel took the aching flesh into her mouth without preamble, feeling herself soak her underwear anew at the unfamiliar sensations. Rachel's tongue and lips swirled and moved in patterns Quinn didn't have the presence of mind to track and she was thrown into ever-heightening pleasure. When the brunette pinched slightly with her teeth, Quinn gasped and her hands shot up to Rachel's head, putting pressure behind it to try and keep it in place, but Rachel obviously had other plans. She moved over to the other breast, which had been completely ignored, making sure to keep twisting and kneading the breast she had left behind. She repeated her previous actions, but they were just as arousing to Quinn as they had been the first time.

"Oh god, Rachel. I - ah! I love you! Fuck, keep going, please." She could barely even handle Rachel's actions, she didn't know if she'd be able to survive Rachel touching her. She was panting so hard she was worried she would pass out, and as Rachel moved backwards and forwards over her chest, occasionally dropping a kiss on her neck or lips, or dragging her teeth along her collar bone, she wondered how it was possible someone could be so wet and not already be coming.

She was so distracted, she didn't even realize that Rachel's hand had slowly glided downwards, and she was lightly grazing her fingernails backwards and forwards underneath the waistband of her panties. She gasped every time she imagined them slipping lower, but they never really were, and the girl grunted in frustration as the hand slipped back out. She was soothed a moment later when Rachel rolled to the left and her left arm slid under her neck, so she could hold the girl tight but still rest on her bent elbow. The brunette's lips began to caress her own again, and then Quinn gasped as Rachel's hand slipped down over the rough lace of her underwear to the swiftly expanding wet patch. The teacher inhaled in shock and pulled back when she felt Quinn's arousal, before locking eyes with the blond and grinning a little. She ran her hand up and down a couple of times, brushing her fingers over Quinn's stiff clit through the material, finally offering the girl a little relief, and the grin slowly faded as she was distracted by the Quinn's beauty. She was gently glowing as the light reflected from her damp skin, her back was arched as she tried to rock against Rachel's hand and find relief, and her brow was furrowed in a mixture of frustration and sheer pleasure. She was whimpering a little each time Rachel's hand brushed against her stiff clit. One hand was bent back, tightly gripping Rachel's left elbow, and the other was digging hard into her shoulder. If there wasn't blood, then there would at least be finger-shaped bruises by the morning.

She continued kissing her until she felt the tension and expectancy of more contact melt from the girl. It was then, when she wasn't waiting for it, that Rachel clutched the yellow lace and tugged slightly, indicating that she wanted to take them off. The blond's eyes opened, the nervousness making a return, but she lifted her hips as Rachel sat up, straddling her right knee, and pulled the final item of clothing off her. She pulled them off, and then sat back so she could take off her own black girl boxers. She resumed her position straddling Quinn's left leg, and remained sitting back on her heels, allowing them both a moment to just take each other in. Rachel felt like she couldn't breathe because the girl was simply _stunning. _Her body was pure perfection, from her graceful feet, to her toned thighs, the trimmed blond curls between her legs, her curved hips, toned stomach, small, perfect breasts, graceful neck and shoulders, pink lips, flushed cheeks and the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, framed by gorgeous blond curls. She wondered if a woman as beautiful as Quinn Fabray had ever lived before.

Quinn's heart was racing in her chest as she raised herself up on her arms slightly. She never thought she'd be in the position she was, never thought she would be so in love with someone who _felt the same way_. She figured she would possibly lose her virginity at some point if she timed it right, but this was so much better. And Rachel's beauty had her basically drooling. Her tanned skin looked like honey in the shadowy light, her eyes sparkled with lust, with love, with so much more. Her hair was wild, her chest was heaving and her well toned muscles were defined with exertion. Quinn also took a moment to notice how wet Rachel's shaved center was, and mentally patted herself on the back. She looked back up to Rachel's eyes and they smiled softly at each other. Rachel planted her left arm on the bed just below the pillows and leaned into Quinn's lips, right hand resting on Quinn's left hip as the girl wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck, until the girl was flat on her back once again. Then, as she continued to languidly caress Quinn's tongue with her own, she lowered herself down to press against Quinn's thigh, moved her hand down to the point where her legs met and ran her fingers up and down through the curls teasingly before slipping down and running her index finger up along her slit. The brunette grunted, then moaned at how easily her finger slipped up because of the juices flowing from the girl. Quinn's breath caught in her throat as Rachel repeated the action a couple of times, until Rachel's lone digit finally made contact with her throbbing clit and she exhaled in a breathy moan.

"Fuck! Rachel." She sobbed as her back arched, trying to push her hips into Rachel's hand for increased contact, but the woman moved her hand quickly out of reach. Her arms tightened around the woman's neck, and Rachel moved her head so it was next to Quinn's ear, whispering and shushing her as she ground her center down slightly on Quinn's thigh.

Finally her fingers probed softy into Quinn's drenched pussy and started circling her clit, never quite touching where she needed it. The blond's pants were turning into whimpers, whimpers into moans, until she was almost crying from the frustration. Rachel was still murmuring gently into her ear as her fingers finally moved to press on Quinn's clit. She moaned long and low at the relief of finally being touched.

"Oh Fuck! R-Rachel please, I need…" Rachel stopped whispering to kiss her neck and ear, patiently waiting for Quinn to speak. She kept her thumb working Quinn's pulsing clit in circles, occasionally switching direction, as she allowed her middle and third fingers to drop down to her entrance and tease in slow circles.

"What is it? What do you need baby? Tell me." She was struggling to keep the desperation out of her voice, wanting nothing more than to fuck the girl beneath her, to see her come, but wanting to make sure she was ready.

"I need - Nng…Oh Jesus Rachel…baby I need you to…" Quinn was panting hard, making her chest slip across Rachel's. Her voice was rough and low. She twisted her neck to look at the woman she loved, and found that looking into her dark eyes gave her new-found clarity.

"Rachel, please! Make me…make me yours. Please baby…fuck! Please take me Rachel, just-" Rachel cut her off as she crashed their lips together, feeling herself gush against the girl's thigh at her begging. She teased Quinn's passage a couple more times before she moved her mouth back next to her ear.

"Baby, I love you. I love you so much sweetheart." As she whispered words of love, she moved her middle finger, and slipped in into Quinn's tight channel. As she met resistance, she kissed the girl tenderly on the lips and felt the blond's arms tighten around her neck as she pushed past it.

Quinn cried out as the barrier broke, and Rachel felt her breathing heavily, not loosening her arms. Rachel remained still for a few long moments before feeling Quinn nod against her shoulder. She pulled the finger out slowly, and pushed back inwards, drawing a sob from the girl. Rachel began whispering into her ear again, trying to take her mind off the pain, and she resumed her thumb's movement on Quinn's clit. It didn't take long until she was panting and moaning in pleasure again.

"F-fuck! Rachel, like that. Ahh…God, I'm so…I think I'm…" She could feel the tension in her lower stomach mounting. It felt like walking on ice: she could feel the pressure building, and it was only moments until it would break.

"How does it feel baby, please tell me." Rachel panted, wanting nothing more than to be in the moment with her.

"It f-feels like…oh god you feel so good Rachel. More, I want more. Please Rachel, please give it to me." Rachel groaned at Quinn's words and as she drew her hand back, she slipped her third finger into the tight passage too. The blond bit down on Rachel's shoulder as she felt herself being stretched so sweetly, which spurred Rachel on to move faster and grind down harder on the girl's thigh.

Quinn noticed that the words Rachel had been murmuring in her ear had changed, now they were mixed up, not just words of love. There were words like "Tight", "Forever", "Wet", "Sweet", "Hard", "Please", "Come", "Want" and "Love", and it didn't matter that they were swiftly becoming more confused, because they were pushing her closer and closer to what she needed.

"Rachel, please, I'm gonna…I'm…oh Fuck, Rachel! Baby I'm going to…" The heat was rearing up inside Quinn like a dragon as Rachel's fingers pumped in and out of her. The pressure of her thumb increased on her clit.

"It's OK sweetheart. Please, c'mon. Let me see…a-ah! God, Quinn, cum for me, please, I want you to cum for me!" Hearing Rachel beg was the spark that started the explosion inside Quinn. She screamed out as she felt her body go completely tense, feeling Rachel still moving in and out of her and stroking her clit faster than she could follow.

"Fuck, Raaaacheeellll! I'm cumming, I'm cumming…" Her scream tapered out into a moan and then a sob as her pussy gripped Rachel's fingers which were still pounding in and out. Her body was completely tensed and she noticed that the leg Rachel had been straddling was completely rigid and Rachel was grinding hard onto it and screaming out her own orgasm. Seeing Quinn's face as she came had sent her off the deep end; she had never seen anything so beautiful in her entire life, and couldn't hold herself back."Quiiiin! Fuck, I love you! Quinn!" Rachel's body was totally tense apart from the hand between Quinn's legs which was gradually slowing, and her hips which were rolling hard. She collapsed on top of the girl below her and could do nothing but breathe for a few moments. When she recovered a little, she pulled her fingers out and wiped them on the sheet before slipping sideways off Quinn and allowing the girl to breathe. She still had her eyes closed, and would jolt every once in a while through the aftershocks, so Rachel pulled the blankets over them, wrapped herself around Quinn and held her, kissing anything she could reach.

Eventually Quinn opened her eyes and sought out Rachel's. She felt tears fill them as she saw the love in Rachel's eyes.

"I love you so much Rachel." She mumbled as she buried her face into the crook of Rachel's neck.

"I love you Quinn." She placed a gentle kiss on the crown of Quinn's head and breathed in the soft scent of her shampoo, thoughts turning to how much she wanted to spend the night with the girl asleep in her arms.. "Baby, are your parents expecting you home?" The girl snuffled a little and shook her head slowly, sleep clearly overtaking her.

"No, I texted them and claimed that I was really tired and Brittney offered to drive me to her house and let me crash." Rachel smiled hearing that the girl could stay and pressed another kiss to her head.

"Good." The girl hummed her agreement as she snuggled further down into the sheets, holding tighter onto Rachel. They fell asleep blissfully, thoughts of the next day not crossing either of their minds for a second.

When Rachel awoke the next morning, she couldn't remember a time when she had felt more well rested. The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was Quinn's blond hair spread out on the pillow in front of her. It seemed that she had unconsciously moved into the "big spoon" position during the night, and she had absolutely no problem. She pushed some of the girl's hair back behind her ear and started pressing light kisses to the corner of her mouth. She felt more than saw the smile and beamed as the girl's eyes opened.

"Mmmf. What time is it?" She mumbled, snuggling back into Rachel.

"Early. I'm going to take a shower. Go back to sleep."

"Mmkay." She couldn't help the adoring smile that appeared on her lips as she watched the girl fall back asleep with a soft smile on her face. Rachel rolled out of bed, took a shower, got dressed for work and went into the kitchen to make breakfast in bed for the blond. She went back into the bedroom with a tray with a bagel and a cup of coffee as she didn't have time to make a real breakfast. She settled back on the bed and woke Quinn with a few more kisses, offering the girl her breakfast, taking bites of her bagel occasionally as they sat in peaceful silence.

The girl got into the shower and Rachel retrieved her bag from the living room and watched quietly as she got dressed in her Cheerios Uniform. Finally, ten minutes before they had to leave, they found themselves fully dressed, lying on Rachel's bed, holding each other tight.

"It's not that long" Rachel mumbled against Quinn's skin.

"That's not what you said yesterday" the blond grumbled, playing with Rachel's fingers. Rachel sighed.

"I know, but I was trying to lie so we felt better." There was silence between them for a few moments.

"It's not that long" Quinn said. Rachel laughed at the girl sadly, and nodded.

"I…I think we need some ground rules." Rachel said slowly. Quinn's brow furrowed.

"Like what?" She sat up, and Rachel followed.

"Like…No longing stares or sighs." Quinn nodded.

"Although crushes on teachers are OK. I could get away with it." The admonishing look Rachel gave her told her that if Rachel couldn't do it then she couldn't either. "OK, no stares or sighs." Rachel nodded.

"And…no texting unless you really _have to_." Quinn frowned.

"What about _one_ nightly 'I love you' text? That's fair, right?" Rachel smiled a little and nodded.

"That's definitely fair. OK, no trying to make anyone jealous with other people." Quinn nodded silently. "And no notes or anything silly." Another nod.

"Longer conversations than necessary _only _in extenuating circumstances."

"Agreed."

"You can't come here unless for some unknown reason the rest of the class does. And _no_ ring leading." Quinn sighed but smiled and nodded, kissing the back of the hand she was holding.

"What about the tickets you got me for Christmas?" Rachel looked down and her smile fell. "Right, so I'll be looking for a date then."

"I'm sorry baby… I mean, I'm sorry Quinn. No pet names." Quinn huffed and dropped her hand.

"This is gonna be hard." Rachel nodded her agreement absently. "Fine, one more, and there's no getting out of this one." Rachel looked at the girl, interested in what she had to say.

"On graduation night, barring any…_extenuating_ circumstances or whatever…I _will _be here, in that bed, with you." Rachel beamed.

"What about all those graduation parties you'll be missing?" Rachel joked. Quinn looked at her with disbelief.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You think I'd rather be at a crappy kegger with those assholes who I hate instead of in your bed doing what we did last night?" Rachel cocked her head in interest. "Are you on cold meds again?" Rachel laughed and slapped her on the thigh before climbing off the bed.

"Time to go sweetheart." Quinn sighed, got off the bed and followed Rachel to the front door. They held each other tightly for a moment, before sharing a chaste, yet desperate kiss, and breaking away. Rachel wiped a couple of tears from Quinn's cheek.

"Five months." The girl nodded. "I love you." Rachel said simply.

"I love you." The blonde replied, before walking out of the door and not looking back, pretending to not notice the tears in Rachel's eyes.

**So i hope that was up to scratch.**

**Comments are always welcome. **

**Next chap will probably be about a week, but might be less if i'm feeling generous.**

**I'm going to bed.**

**Until next time ;)  
**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**_So, here i am, back to some kind of normalcy._  
**

_**I just had to mention gleed2's comment: "Needless to say, I cannot WAIT until they **_**break that 5 months rule**_**, because seriously, who could stay away from EITHER of them for that long?" You know me so well, teehee. Who the hell would survive five whole months? There's a bit of a time skip, but I would never drag it out that long!**_

_**OK, so originally i used the name of a real member of the Juilliard teaching staff, but during my read-through i realised that this was a dumb ass fucking move, so i changed it very slightly.  
**_

_**Thank you for the continued comments/reviews etc. You guys rock.**_

_**Enjoy.  
**_

Rachel threw down the file she was holding onto her desk, put her left hand on her hip, ran her right hand through her hair and sighed _hard_. She had just finished another day; another _long_ Monday. It was the middle of February; it had been about six weeks since she and Quinn had spent the night together, and she was convinced it was getting harder to pretend she didn't crave her with everything she had. _How the fuck are those Cheerio uniforms legal?_ She thought to herself as she dropped into the seat and took a long drag from the water bottle on the desk. She had just finished teaching the senior class, _Quinn's_ senior class, during which she was trying to ignore the girl's legs the whole time. _I feel like one of those pervy male teachers who's fucking some leggy sixteen year old student for grades. Yuck. _She thought with a slight disgusted shiver.

So far she and Quinn had been successful at staying out of each other's way and not being needlessly tempting, but a beautiful blond eighteen year old in a cheerleading uniform was hard for anyone of the woman-loving persuasion to ignore, and it was required that Quinn wear the uniform every day, so Rachel just had to deal with it and rein in her hormones. She pulled the desk calendar towards her and, taking a red sharpie, put a thick cross through the date. To everyone else it was just a regular calendar, but she alone knew that a few pages ahead was a day with a big red circle around it; every time she crossed off one square she was one closer to that glorious date. She sighed heavily again, reclining back into the seat and covering her face with her hands.

She relaxed for a couple of minutes before she heard a tentative knock on her door and broke out of her daze. Rolling her head to the side so she could look over to the door, her chest tightened as she saw aforementioned cheerleader standing in the doorway, an apologetic look on her face. She shook off the dazed expression and smiled shyly at the girl.

"Quinn...hi." The girl smiled gently and subconsciously flattened out her skirt.

"Hi. Um…can I…come in?" Rachel bit her lip, unsure if it was a wise idea. "It's strictly business, I swear, but it's important." The brunette thought a couple of seconds before nodding and sitting up. She noticed Quinn push the door open more rather than closing it, and smiled at the thoughtfulness of the blond.

Quinn walked to the opposite side of the desk and set down her bag, pulling a folded over envelope out of it and setting it down. She didn't meet Rachel's eyes as she flattened it out and pushed it towards Rachel's hands, keeping her eyes on the paper the whole time. Rachel was perplexed as she watched the girl's actions, but her eyes widened in realization as she spotted the header of her Alma Mater in the top right corner of the envelope. She looked up at Quinn quickly before taking the paper from the desk (careful not to accidentally brush Quinn's hand as she did so; they didn't need any unnecessary temptation). She turned it over and noticed the jagged rip where it had been opened. Watching Quinn carefully for any sign of what was inside, and gaining no insight, she pulled the page out, slowly unfolded it and began reading aloud.

"Dear Miss Fabray, we are pleased to inform…" Her expression broke into a huge grin as she took in the news, and her voice grew in both pitch and volume, her excitement breaking through. "We are pleased to inform you that we were very impressed with your sample pieces and would like to extend an invitation to audition…Oh." The smile slipped slightly as she saw what would be a problem. She looked up at Quinn as she spoke the last words of the sentence. "…to audition with us at our New York Campus at 10am on the 26th February." Quinn nodded and gave the woman a halfhearted smile.

"Yeah."

"That's going to be a problem."

"Yeah." They were both silent for a beat before Rachel got up from her chair, smiling.

"Stand up." She walked around the desk as Quinn looked at her in confusion, slowly standing.

"W-why am I standing?" Rachel stopped in front of her and stiffly placed a palm on either of the girl's shoulders, very mindful that the door was still open, and there were still kids with after school activities roaming around. She smiled to calm the blond's fears.

"Because, Quinn Fabray, we are going to indulge in a very friendly, very normal, congratulatory teacher-student hug." One of Quinn's eyebrows raised a little.

"Oh we are, are we?" She lowered her voice to a whisper as she asked "Do you think that's a good idea Rachel?" The brunette straightened her back and held Quinn's gaze.

"Yes, Quinn, I do. One of my students just achieved the near-impossible and got an audition for Juilliard (with my help), and I am overcome with pride and emotion. Now put your arms around my back and take part in this very, very rare occurrence of student-teacher intimacy, that has never, not once, happened between us before."

Quinn chuckled under her breath and slowly shuffled forwards into Rachel's waiting arms. As their bodies met, they were both inhaling slow, deep lungfuls of each other's scent. Quinn flattened her palms against Rachel's back as the woman wrapped her own around the girl's shoulders, trying to keep her grip lose. She tilted her head so her mouth was next to Quinn's ear, and breathed "I'm so proud of you Quinn Christina." Quinn whimpered slightly hearing Rachel's words, and she squeezed tightly for just a second before she let go and took two strong steps back. They regarded each other for a long moment, both knowing how close the other had come to losing their grip on their emotions, until Rachel moved back around the desk and sat. Quinn mirrored her actions and they both placed their hands on the table, as if trying to prove to an invisible presence that they weren't going to try any more funny business.

"So," Rachel began, back to 'all business', "How are we going to get you to New York? Or, more importantly, how are we going to get your parents to say yes?" Quinn nodded absently, trying to think of something.

"Well…I don't think we can pass it off as another thing for school like we did with the exam." Rachel sucked on the tip of her thumb slightly, her brow furrowed in thought as she shook her head.

"No, you're right. If we do and someone found out we'd be completely screwed." They both paused for a moment. "What day is the 26th?" she asked not really expecting an answer. She leaned forward to her calendar, which Quinn hadn't noticed until that point, to check.

"It's a Saturday…" She tapered off as she saw the blond trying to hide a grin from the woman at her obvious use for the calendar, and bit her lip in embarrassment. "Um.." The brunette mumbled, trying to think of some kind of excuse for the huge red crosses through the days; it was a kind of childish thing to do if there was no reason, but Quinn could guess at what the reason would be. She smiled adoringly at Rachel, and reached into her bag to pull out her day planner. She opened it to the previous day and held it up so Rachel could see the obnoxiously large black cross through it. Rachel closed her eyes and laughed at their behavior, seeing that they were both just counting the days until graduation, then cleared her throat and shook her head a little as Quinn returned the book to her purse.

"Uh… Saturday, the 26th is a Saturday. So you would need to leave here on Friday afternoon. Is there any way your parents would let you go to New York for the weekend and miss a day of school? Could you be doing something with friends?" Quinn's brow lowered and her lips twisted in thought.

"Well, probably not, but still… the problem is, if I say I'm doing something with friends, I'll have to actually _take_ friends, and I can't risk anyone finding out about the audition. I mean, I've been keeping the letter in my bra so no one sees it." Rachel licked her lips a little at the mention of Quinn's bra, but quickly wrenched her mind out of the gutter.

"Right. OK, so a weekend with friends is out." They were silent for a couple of minutes before Quinn spoke.

"I… I think I might have an idea." She said, almost with surprise.

"Hmm?"

"College." Rachel looked bewildered. "I could claim that I'm missing a couple of days to go visit colleges. My parents wanted me to apply based on academic merit and didn't want me to be swayed by 'how pretty they are' so I didn't see any apart from virtual tours before I applied. But now that I have, they might not mind." Rachel's eyes were bright and her mouth was in a wide smile as she contemplated the idea.

"That just might work! But…won't they want to come with you? I can't imagine your parents being particularly happy about you being let lose in New York whilst missing school." Quinn shook her head dismissively.

"Mom has an old friend who lives in the City. They wouldn't mind me looking around campuses alone if they knew I had someone in the city in case of an emergency. They'd love an excuse for a weekend without me…Oh my god this might actually work!" Rachel grinned in relief, until she thought of a problem.

"Um, but won't they be suspicious if there isn't an actual prospective student's day?"

"It should be fine, I know that there's one every Saturday from February to June at Columbia. If they ask I'll just mention it and pray they don't ask about other schools."

Satisfied that they had a veritable plan, Rachel leaned back into her chair, smiling.

"Alright, so, how are you going to do this?" Quinn considered for a moment before speaking.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to be their perfect little angel for this week, and then try and spin it really positively. I can also maybe mention the fact that on Fridays, my afternoon classes are two hours of free periods and an hour of music" Rachel nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah, your dad _definitely_ won't care if you miss that." she said tersely, thinking back to the way Russell had dismissed Music as an academic subject at their parent-teacher conference. Quinn nodded and continued.

"So I'll just drop that stuff into casual conversation, and on Sunday after church I'll ask. I might also have to mention Aunt Amanda, my mom's friend in New York, and how I never get to see her when they visit in the summer because I'm at Cheerio camp, so they don't think I'm just being rude assuming she'd let me stay for the weekend when I mention it." Rachel nodded and smirked.

"I see you still haven't lost that charming ability to manipulate anyone and everyone." Quinn stuck out her tongue,"Nope, and aren't you glad? I have, however, gained the ability to stop just doing it for fun." Rachel laughed a little and smiled at the girl contentedly, glad to be in her presence for longer than they had been in recent times.

"I've missed having conversations with you."

"So have I." Quinn sighed as she withdrew her hands from the desk and folded them in her lap.

"I feel like I never see you any more, like I don't know what's going on in your life." Rachel said quietly.

"You're not supposed to know what's going on in my life Rachel. For the next four months you're just my teacher, and teachers know nothing about their students' real lives." Rachel bit down on her lip hard, knowing the girl was right. She looked at Quinn with hope in her eyes.

"Indulge me for a little longer, won't you?" Quinn rolled her eyes but smiled. "How was the concert?" The blond smiled at the thought of the concert Rachel had got her tickets for as her Christmas gift.

"It was amazing! I was so…I don't know. I guess it just made me realize that I want more of it, y'know? I want to be around people that talented all the time, I want to hear people play like that _all the time_." Rachel's heart swelled at the look on Quinn's face. She was _so_ happy, which wasn't a common occurrence.

"Well, that's what Juilliard is like, so there won't be any problem there." She continued speaking before Quinn had the chance to talk about how she might not get in. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wish I could've been there with you." Quinn shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. She felt the fact that they were alone in a room more strongly after hearing that, and knew she needed to leave.

"Me too." She whispered, before standing quickly and grabbing her purse. Rachel sat forward, too surprised to react as Quinn rushed out of the room. "I have to go Rachel, or we're going to mess things up. Thank you for the help." All Rachel could do was nod mutely, her eyes wide.

As the girl reached the open door, she paused mid step and looked over her shoulder, her voice low and serious."Really, Rachel. Thank you. I would never have had this chance - Juilliard - without your help. I… I'm so glad that I make you proud… I did it all for you." With that she rushed out of the door, and by the time Rachel had the presence of mind to go after her and say…_something_…the halls were empty and she was gone. Rachel leaned her back on the door frame and sighed as she hit the back of her head against it in frustration.

By some miracle, Quinn's parents had fallen for every word of the blond's fabrication when she fed it to them the following Sunday; she figured they were just desperate for a weekend that they didn't have to spend feeling guilty for or curbing their drinking because of their daughter. The tickets were booked (paid for with Quinn's own savings), Quinn's mother had called her friend Amanda who was happy to see Quinn and let her stay, and had even wanted to accompany her to the Colleges before she was told by her boss that she had to work. Quinn had been so relieved to hear that she wouldn't have to think of a way to trick her mother's friend to escape her and get to the Juilliard campus, that after she heard, she had gone up to her room and laughed with joy for ten minutes, squeezing her pillow.

Her parents contacted the school to inform them she would be missing the afternoon, and just after lunch the Friday before her audition, she made a point of going into Rachel's classroom and excusing herself from last period. Rachel, who had her back to the class and was standing in the doorway talking to Quinn, used the fact that the other students couldn't see past her to squeeze one of Quinn's hands in between her own and wink at her with a smile. Quinn knew what it meant: _Break a leg, I love you, you deserve this._ The blond smiled widely as she walked out of the school to the parking lot and got into the waiting taxi, wishing only that Rachel could be going with her.

She was welcomed into her "Aunt" Amanda's home with much more warmth than she was used to, and felt much more relaxed there than she ever did at home. She took it as an omen that being in New York suited her. The woman had shown her around the tiny Brooklyn house, apologized that she would have to sleep on the couch, offered her everything in the fridge and cupboards, shown her around the building (including the den which housed very old, but beautiful, inherited baby grand) and then apologized profusely as she excused herself, saying that work was crazy and she had to go into the office and 'put out fires'. Quinn smiled at the busy woman and hugged her, thanking her much too sincerely for simply letting her stay (but in her mind not enough for making her dream partly possible) and then as soon as the woman left, settled down at the Piano to practice everything she could. She had to play her audition from memory, which she had no problem doing, but she hadn't had as much practice as she had wanted. Rachel had made some friends at the instrument store in Lima and, knowing that the girl wouldn't get to practice that much while she was still at home, asked the guys if Quinn could practice there after school in addition to in the choir room (which Rachel now left constantly unlocked until she went home in the evenings so Quinn could cram in some more practice over lunch). When the guys at the store heard Quinn play they wholeheartedly agreed that she could use the old piano in the back of the store, claiming the beautiful live music encouraged people to buy. They had even jokingly put out a tip jar on the piano, but it turned out to be not so much of a joke after they saw that it was crammed full of five dollar bills at the end of the first evening she had gone there to practice after school. Still, as many lunchtimes and evenings as she had spent playing, she didn't feel like she should give up the opportunity and played for the full five hours that Amanda was gone, barely stopping until she heard the front door open; she imagined that wasn't quite as perfect as it needed to be, and so she used the opportunity to her advantage.

She and Amanda ate a relaxed dinner together, chatting like old friends. Quinn really had missed the woman, and although she didn't know her well, she was pleasant and friendly. She and Quinn's mother had gone to college together, but she had chased her career instead of a husband, and so where Judy was a well-off housewife, she was a dirt-broke social worker, but she loved every second of it. Quinn was totally enamored with her; she had so much respect for all life. Even when she disagreed with someone's behavior, her love for everything won out. She gave everyone a second chance, and it gave Quinn hope that no matter how badly she had fucked things up in the past, being downright cruel to students below her on the social ladder, she could be forgiven, could be better.

She was surprisingly not nervous when she went to bed that evening; it seemed that Amanda and her selflessness had given her some perspective, and the audition didn't seem as life-or-death as it had that morning. Still, when she lay back on the (surprisingly comfortable) couch to go to sleep, she couldn't drift off, feeling more excited about the next day than anything. She got her phone out and indulged in her single "I love you" text message to Rachel.

_Flight was fine. I really like New York, I can see why you love it so much. But I can't sleep. Just excitement though, not nerves. Still, I don't want to be awake all night and exhausted for tomorrow. Any suggestions? Also, I love you xxx_

She snuggled back into the pillows and waited the standard minute and a half for Rachel's reply. The screen lit up the darkened room as she received the message.

_Glad the flight was OK. I think liking the city is a good omen, and you will be fantastic tomorrow no matter what. As for the sleeping issue…Maybe you could try…thinking of me? ;) Always helps when I can't sleep. I love you darling xxx_

Quinn raised her eyebrow as she read Rachel's text. _Is she suggesting what I think she's suggesting?_ Really Quinn had no doubt about what Rachel was suggesting, she just felt a little awkward about masturbating while on Amanda's couch. She considered the situation for a few minutes. _Feel a little awkward but fall asleep in fifteen minutes, or not violate Amanda's couch and be a zombie tomorrow?_ She realized there was no question of what she should do, before shrugging and slipping her right hand onto her right breast and her left hand between her legs. She closed her eyes and conjured up her newest favorite fantasy image: Rachel on the chair in her office, leaning back, hair mussed, blouse open, no bra so her breasts were flushed and exposed, legs parted wide with one hand frantically rubbing her clit, the other pulling at her hardened nipples, moaning Quinn's name. The thought of Rachel unable to control herself at the thought of Quinn and not being able to wait until she got home was an unbelievable turn on for Quinn, not to mention the sexy teacher fantasy (which apparently, in spite of their situation, she wasn't immune to). She let out a breathy sigh as her hand squeezed her own breasts and teased each nipple in turn, before taking one and pulling and twisting hard. As she continued, the hand between her legs slipped up and down, index finger lightly tracing the line of her sex. After a few strokes, not wanting to drag it out too much, she allowed the finger to dip inside herself, running through the pooling moisture before finally slipping onto her clit.

In her head, Rachel slipped two fingers inside of herself and began wildly rocking her hips against them, her moaning turning into yells of pleasure, as her other hand abandoned her nipples and resumed the other's furious movements on her clit. Not wanting to be too overly thorough considering she was on a couch in someone else's living room, Quinn left her hand pinching her nipples rather than copying Rachel's imagined actions and slipping her fingers inside herself. She increased the pressure of both hands as her breathing became more erratic. When she finally felt like she was right on the brink of cumming, she imagined Rachel, face twisted in pleasure, her voice saying the one thing that over the past weeks had never failed to get Quinn off: 'I love you'. She still remembered exactly how the woman had sounded when she said it, how she smelled, how her body felt above her, and with those thoughts Quinn let go, tensing against both of her palms as her back arched, trying not to cry out for fear of waking the woman in the room above her. She relaxed, finally slowing but not stilling her movements until she couldn't take it any more, jolting every few seconds because of the aftershocks. She exhaled slowly in pleasure as she wiped her hand on the inside of her pyjama pants and twisted into a more comfortable sleeping position, imagining Rachel coming down from her high and whispering the blond's name. Quinn smiled as she drifted into peaceful slumber.

Sadly, by the next morning, her peaceful calm had been replaced with severe nerves; she spilled her orange juice on the counter because she was shaking slightly, and couldn't make herself eat more than half her bowl of Lucky Charms. When Amanda asked if everything was alright she just claimed that she wasn't a morning person, before rushing to the piano for some final practice as the woman wished her a good day and left for work. Under Rachel's advisement, given to her via a note that the woman slipped into her hand as she circulated her senior class, Quinn decided to get a taxi rather than risking getting lost on the train system that she didn't know well. She called the cab and left (again under Rachel's advisement) a half hour early to avoid traffic delay or anything else unexpected. As she sat quietly in the back of the cab, she checked her phone once again for any kind of contact from Rachel, praying the woman would have some miraculous words to calm her, but she figured the woman was trying to keep their agreement of one text a day unless it was a life or death situation. She sighed heavily, trying to keep her breathing deep and steady, but it faltered as the taxi pulled to a stop outside a beautiful old building.

She smiled shakily at the driver before climbing out of the car and handing him the fare. There were other people also entering through the doors in front of her, looking varying degrees of nervous, from completely calm to a total wreck way worse than herself. For some reason both made her feel even worse; the confidant ones made her feel like they knew something she didn't, and the nervous ones made her feel like she should be more nervous than she was. She made her way through the door and paused when she was inside to get her bearings. To her left, chairs filled with people her own age in various states of panic lined the wall. There was a check-in desk in front of her with a smallish line of people waiting to get signed in and told what to do. To the right there was a long corridor that gleamed brightly in the harsh early spring light. She steeled herself and stepped up to the back of the line. Rather than just marinating in her nerves, Quinn went through the pieces she was about to play, going over any notes she had given herself. She had been recording herself on her phone and then listening through for unnoticed imperfections. Having something to focus on calmed her a little, and by the time she was at the front of the line she had settled down enough to not stutter as she told the man behind the desk her name and showed him her invitational letter. He smiled mildly at her as he explained the procedure, before informing her that it would probably be around an hour before she was called in as she was in the second wave of forty-five minute auditions and the first had yet to be called in. She nodded her thanks and smiled a tight lipped smile before taking a seat in one of the chairs lining the wall to the left. She surreptitiously pulled her ipod out of the side of her bra and put the earbuds in, but just as she pressed play she heard something very familiar; a soft, melodious laugh echoing down the corridor opposite. She rapidly hit pause, waiting to see if the sound came again, but it didn't. She squinted against the harsh light reflecting from the polished floor of the passage, but couldn't see anything. She sighed and shook her head. _Don't be stupid Quinn, it wasn't her. _She settled back into her chair and pressed play again, hearing the first notes of her first audition piece, not wanting to distract herself by listening to something else, and following the notes carefully.

Rachel made her way through the familiar halls smiling mildly at the memories that were conjured up. She had spent many years in and out of those halls, and they were some of the most intense, turbulent, and often happy, times of her life. She looked at the names on the doors until she read the one she wanted and tapped lightly.

"Come in!" the smooth male voice from inside the door called. She laughed and shook her head slightly; the man hadn't changed a bit. She walked in and saw him hastily scrawling something across a sheet of paper in red ink, not looking up. She decided to have some fun with him. Putting some distress into her voice, she replayed a scene that had happened with one of her voice professors in her third year, and had caused the woman almost as much distress as Rachel herself was in.

"Professor McLeod, I really need your help." She forced her voice to shake a little (her acting skills not seeming to have diminished) and continued. "I just don't know what I'm going to do-" She broke off for a fake sob and waited as, shocked, the man looked up over the piles of papers on his desk, looking as if he was about to panic that someone was crying in front of him. When he saw Rachel, his face dropped, mouth wide open, before he tilted his head back and laughed loudly at the woman's antics. She remained standing in front of his desk, smiling widely and waiting for him to regain his calm demeanor. When he finally finished laughing he took a deep breath and looked her square in the eye.

"Rachel Berry you menace! You almost gave me a heart attack!" She smiled at him as he got up and moved across the room to wrap his arms around her in a tight embrace.

"Well that was the aim. You never could deal with the criers Robert." She returned the embrace emphatically before they parted and regarded each other closely.

Rachel had met the man in her second year at Juilliard, almost by accident. She had no real contact with the Piano faculty, other than as accompanists for concerts and productions, but he was too high up in the college's food chain to be subjected to such a lowly job. In fact their meeting was nothing to do with the college, she actually knew him through his daughter. One day the young woman had come to campus to visit her father, and had caught Rachel's eye. Rachel, freshly single after her relationship with her first girlfriend Nadine had ended, and still as confidant as ever, approached her in the coffee house on campus, and three days later they went on their first date. Two months after that she was introduced to Robert and his wife, and found that she got along so well with the man that even after she and his daughter had ended things (amiably, thank god) they had stayed in contact. They had the same sense of humor and intensity, and tended to spur each other on, which they both enjoyed, so they would email back and forth every once in a while, and she would usually be invited to dinner with the family when she was in the city. It was awkward to try and explain the situation to new girlfriends, but she truly saw him more as a beloved uncle than her ex-girlfriend's father. She knew people well on other faculties too, but today she needed his help.

"So, I was in town and I was wondering if I could treat the family to lunch?" He smiled widely but bowed his head slightly.

"Sorry Rachel, I don't have the time for lunch today, I'll be lucky to choke down a sandwich at some point." She waited with an eyebrow raised for him to explain why (although she already knew. He didn't need to know that…) "Oh! Um, I have auditions all day…Auditions which I'm already late for! Crap!" he exclaimed as he looked at his wristwatch.

He shuffled around the desk to grab his jacket and shoved it over his shoulders. She readied herself for a subtle battle, knowing that if she was going to get things to go her way she needed to be careful.

"Really? Well what about dinner? I could wait around for you to finish." He guided her out of the door and started walking to the right, towards the music rooms.

"Oh Rachel, you don't want to do that, you'd be so bored! I probably won't even be done here until ten. Martha will probably already be in bed by then." She smiled at the mention of his wife, but persevered.

"Well, I could just take you out for a late dinner afterward. You know, I've missed the city that never sleeps. Dinner at eleven is my favorite thing ever!" He rolled his eyes a little and smiled sheepishly.

"You'll be waiting for hours while I sit in on the auditions. What would you do?" She smirked as she walked next to him. Success.

"Well, I could sit in with you for a little while, go get some lunch and bring it back here for you? Wonder around campus a little..." He looked over at her with an unsure expression, but she cut in before he could express his unsureness.

"Yeah, come on, it'll be great. I could just sit at the table next to you while you judge the poor kids. I could pretend to be doing admin or something." He continued giving her an uncertain look, but she just hooked her arm around his and dragged him onwards.

"C'mon, please?" She said, directing her very best puppy-dog eyes towards her. "It'll be nice to hear some talented people play. I can just stay quiet in the corner, and then when you're done I can take you out to dinner. It'll be great!" As they reached the appointed music room, he regarded her with a wry smile and shook his head as he opened the door, holding it open and gesturing for her to go in before he entered the room himself.

"Alright, but you'll have to find something to do with yourself during callbacks, they're interviews, not performances, so you can't sit in." She smiled, seeing that she had cracked him.

"There's a movie I've been _dying _to see. I'm afraid I'll have to bow out between…" She looked to him, waiting for him to fill in the times for her to continue pretending that leaving was her idea. He raised his eyebrows.

"Four and ten."

"…Four and ten" she continued nodding "so I can watch said movie in Imax magnificence across town. We don't have an Imax back home." She could see the man's shoulders shaking a little as he laughed. _Mission accomplished._ She couldn't guarantee that Quinn would be one of his auditions, but she hoped that she would see the girl come through the door, and if not then she would stealthily go out there and find a way to talk to her. She at least had a reason to be at the college now.

Robert set up everything he needed, quickly checked the piano was tuned properly as per his instructions, and sat Rachel in a chair next to his at the long table. He could hear that the other piano auditions had already started judging by the soft music filtering through the walls, and so rushed out to welcome the first boy in.

After a good fifty-five minutes of waiting, Quinn felt like she was going out of her mind. She couldn't make herself concentrate any more, and so the music playing through her headphones went unnoticed. She spent long periods of time just staring around the room at the other scared-looking applicants, imagining everything that she could do wrong. She felt more and more ill, after twenty minutes finally rushing into the bathroom to splash some cool water on her face. She returned back to her seat and flopped down, closing her eyes.

She wished that she could have Rachel's arms around her to calm her down; hell, even a text that said _Hi_ would help at this point. She began trying to breathe deeply, forcing herself to remember all she could of Rachel from the night they spent together, her tanned skin sparkling with perspiration in the dim light, her soft smile, the way her lips felt against her neck, the way she curled around her when they were finished, and how good it felt for Quinn to fall asleep with her face buried in Rachel's neck. She calmed sufficiently after that, trying to keep breathing deeply and imagining Rachel smiling across the room at her.

"Quinn Fabray?" A male voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she stood with a deep breath and walked over to him.

"Hello Quinn, I'm Robert McLeod. It's nice to meet you." He held out his hand, and as she took it, her Fabray training kicked in. She took his hand and made eye contact as she smiled at him, replying.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. McLeod." He turned slightly, still holding her hand and smiling as he gestured her to walk ahead of him. She saw the room's open door at the end of the corridor, smiled once again and made her way to her audition room. She got to the threshold and then paused and stepped to the side for him to go in first. He nodded his thanks and walked through the doorway, gesturing for her to take a seat at the piano. She looked resolutely over to the instrument and took the seat, which was facing the table he was sitting at.

As Rachel saw the blond walk in, her fists tightened on the table and she had to fight herself to not call the girl's name to make sure she saw her. She waited on tenterhooks as the girl settled herself at the piano and finally looked up. Luckily, Robert was too busy writing notes to notice that Quinn saw Rachel, looked like she had just been slapped in the face, and finally broke out in the biggest grin she had ever smiled. Quinn knew that she couldn't give the game away, that if the man knew she and Rachel knew each other he would probably not only kick Rachel out of the Audition, but maybe Quinn too, and would start asking questions about why Rachel hadn't mentioned that she had a student auditioning, or maybe even wonder why Rachel had made the effort to come all the way to New York just to see her. So Quinn just settled down into her stool and waited for the man to instruct her, infinitely calmer. It was like as soon as she saw Rachel, and thought back to all the times she had played for her, her mind said _you can do this, you've done this a million times. This does NOT scare you._ She took a deep breath as he told her to play the first piece (everyone had the option of playing new pieces or the pieces from their audition tape, she had opted to do different pieces to show some range) and her fingers instantly began playing from muscle memory.

Rachel was mesmerized by how Quinn played; She hadn't heard the girl since before the winter break, and somehow the she had managed to gain more smoothness and confidence between then and now. She supposed that practicing in front of a shop full of people who were walking in and out had helped. She watched the girl, who was totally enveloped in the music, but still managed to look up and smile every once in a while, when she wasn't so absorbed that her eyes closed and her brow knotted with passion. Each time that happened, Rachel was reminded of _that_ night, and she smiled softly. She knew before the audition had ended that Quinn had played almost perfectly.

When she was done, Robert stood, gave her a brief "Well done, thank you." and ushered her out of the door, telling her that she would need to return at four that afternoon to hear whether or not she would need to stay for a callback. The girl smiled and nodded, thanking the man and wishing him a good afternoon. She walked out to the seat in the entrance hall where she had left her stuff, confidently waiting for Rachel's footsteps to echo down the corridor. She heard them after about a minute, causing her to smile, and turned to watch where the woman went. She crossed the carped, and went into the bathroom. Quinn waited for a beat and then followed her in, making sure to check who else was in there.

When she walked in, there was no sign of Rachel, but there was only one cubicle which had the door closed. She made her way over to it and pushed slightly, feeling it give beneath her hand. She entered the enclosed space, turned, slid the lock across and threw herself into Rachel's waiting arms, hugging her tight and inhaling the scent of her skin where head was bowed into Rachel's shoulder.

"You're so amazing" the woman whispered to her as she held her.

**_I know, i know, it's another little bit of a cliffhanger, although this one isn't quite so rage-inducing. I've gotta think of some way to keep you guys coming back though, haven't i?_**

**_It may seem like they've abandoned everything they said at the end of the last chapter, but i promise that'll be addressed in the next one._**

**_If you have any suggestions, questions or comments, please keep 'em coming. They make me think about what i'm writing, so they're much appreciated._**

**_Until next time ;)  
_**


	19. Chapter 19

**_Hey everyone! Posting a little early this week because you've been so encouraging :)_**

**_Just have to mention that there was a tiny continuity error in the last chap that i've gone back and changed, and doubt anyone noticed, but if you did, sorry.  
_**

**_Thanks for all of the comments. It seems like new people are reading this all the time, so hai to anyone who just started reading. And of course to those people who have been staunchly commenting since day one. And fuck it, everyone else as well. You guys rock!_**

**_I'm thinking that there will be a couple of fairly neutral chaps after this, and then some serious angst. I keep adding extra bits on to the main plot that i outlined in the prologue, so i'm gonna try and focus back more on that.  
_**

**_Also, HOW FREAKING AMAZING IS IT BEING AN ACHELE FAN THIS WEEK! YAY FOR US!_**

_**(Just a quick disclaimer refresher: Glee and all its characters are not mine, Joe Fratelli, however, is mine.)  
**_

**_Anyhoo, enjoy ;)  
_**

**Chapter 19**

The tight constriction in Quinn's chest stopped her from speaking for a moment; she was afraid if she said anything she would burst into tears, and she would look like a ridiculous child. It just meant so much to her to see the woman she loved not simply text her good luck wishes, but come to the city, and beyond that figure out a way to actually sit in the room while she auditioned. Quinn couldn't have asked for it to go better, and she owed that to the woman whose arms she was in. Eventually she snuffled a little and twisted so her head was still on Rachel's shoulder but she could meet those gorgeous eyes. They smiled at each other.

"What are you doing here you dork?" Quinn asked quietly, a shy smile on her lips.

"I'm here to cheer my baby on, what do you think I'm here for?" Said the woman, pulling a face.

"And figuring out a way to be in there, that was just, what, a way to kill some time?" Rachel smiled and rolled her eyes, pulling away from the blonde to rest against the side of the stall. Quinn turned and rested her back against the opposite wall with her hands behind her back, her feet far enough away that only her shoulder blades touched the wall and she was half a head shorter than Rachel.

"Actually, Quinn Christina," She said, widening her eyes jokily "Robert is a very dear friend of mine. I thought I would spend the weekend in the city, and take him out to lunch, but he was busy with something or other so I said I'd hang out and take him to dinner instead." Quinn's eyes widened in comprehension and a wry smile graced her lips as she nodded.

"Oh, I see. So, the fact that I'm here, very stressed, auditioning, is what?" Rachel shrugged nonchalantly.

"Happy coincidence?" Quinn rolled her eyes and reached out to swat the brunette lightly on the arm.

"Liar."

"Fine, I couldn't resist. I needed to be here." Quinn raised her eyebrows. "What? It's a big moment! I wasn't going to miss it, was I? I mean, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I did?" At this Quinn looked away.

"You're not my girlfriend, Rachel." She mumbled, but the woman stepped forward, unperturbed, and put her hands softly on the blond's hips, her legs straddling the girl's, feet slightly closer to Quinn than the blond's own.

"Maybe not, but I'm planning on it in the future." Quinn looked up at her with doubt, so she continued. "And even if we could _never _be together, I still wouldn't have missed it. You're too special to miss." Quinn looked as if she wanted to smile but she couldn't. She removed her hands from the wall behind her, dropping back to rest on her butt, fisted Rachel's teal cashmere sweater in her hands and let her forehead lean on Rachel's chest. She breathed deeply, soothed by the scent and the movements of the woman's own breathing. They stood like that for a few moments before the younger woman broke the silence.

"I'm sorry for being a brat. Thank you for coming." She looked up at Rachel with shining eyes, and the brunette felt her heart break a little. "You're amazing." Quinn whispered. She was tempted to meet the brunette's lips in a kiss, but Rachel broke the moment."No, _You_ are amazing. I can't believe how well you played! Definitely better than the first guy. I can't believe how quickly you've improved!" Quinn smiled slightly and stood up higher.

"Well…you know…I had a good teacher." Rachel plastered a mock-innocent expression on her face.

"Mmm, you must have. She must be an _amazingly _talented teacher."

"Yeah, if only she didn't have such a _massive_ ego." The woman pulled a shocked face and Quinn laughed when she poked her in the ribs. When the giggling died down, Rachel added quietly"Seriously though swee-" She caught herself before she could finish the pet-name; it was in their rules after all. In a text was one thing, but face to face was something completely different. "Seriously though Quinn, everything you did in there, it was all you. You are _so _talented. I'm proud just to know you."

"Rachel, I… I wouldn't even have tried to get here if it wasn't for you. I should be thanking you." Rachel met her gaze with a firm look.

"No, you shouldn't. You don't owe anyone a single thing Quinn." The blond felt her eyes prickling slightly, but tried to ignore it. She took a deep breath.

"So…what are you doing for the rest of today? Are you really going to sit through all of those auditions?" Rachel looked thoughtful.

"Well, I was considering it…" She smiled at Quinn. "But then I asked the most beautiful blond I have ever seen if she wanted to go to lunch. Now I'm just waiting for her reply."

"Rach…"

"Quinn, come on. We can be two friends who have lunch in the city before going our separate ways. Please? Just indulge me." She got quiet and met Quinn's eyes. "I miss being around you. Please let me buy you lunch?" Quinn bit her lip, but she knew there was no question.

"OK. But no cozying up in a booth, no footsy, no sharing food or sexy eating. It's…it's already hard enough" she ended as she slid the lock back across and walked out of the stall. She walked straight back to the seat she had been waiting on, and bent to collect her bag and coat as she heard Rachel's shoes clicking down the hard floors. Slowing her actions to let the woman pass, she listened as Rachel went through the exit, before slowly following her out. She headed down the steps and saw Rachel stop a cab on the street just outside the gate. Taking a quick look around her, and seeing no-one was really paying attention to them, she slipped in through the door that Rachel had left open.

They sat quietly in the cab after Rachel gave the driver an address. The brunette respectfully kept her distance in the back of the vehicle, and Quinn struggled to make herself do the same. After a ten minute journey, the guy pulled over and Quinn exited the cab, waiting as Rachel paused to pay the guy. She gently put her hand on Quinn's mid-back to guide her through the noisy crowds that she was unaccustomed to, and into a small diner. When they went in, the place was absolutely dead; Quinn was worried that it was closed, but Rachel encouraged her into a booth and made her way to the counter. She leaned forward over it, towards an open door that lead into the back.

"Hey Joe!" The woman yelled casually, but projecting her voice strongly. "I'm just gonna rob you and break everything. Don't worry about coming down!" She cocked her head until she heard a loud thud from above her, smirking when she heard it and standing back upright. The two women listened as heavy footsteps thudded down what sounded like a staircase, stumbling slightly half-way. Eventually, a slightly portly man who looked to be in his late twenties came through the door. He was greying, unshaven and had a filthy apron wrapped around his waist, but he had kind eyes and a huge smile aimed directly at Rachel.

"Rachel! Oh my god, I can't believe you're here!" He flipped the end of the counter up without pausing, marched around it and threw his arms around Rachel's waist, as she wrapped her own arms around his neck equally enthusiastically and laughed as he picked her up and twirled her around a couple of times. When he finally put her down they kissed emphatically on the cheek, both pausing there for a second before wrapping their arms around each other again, laughing happily. Quinn watched smiling at the joy in Rachel's face. Anyone who put that look there was more than welcome to be there.

The two parted and he put his palms on her cheek, seemingly just taking in her face. She waited patiently as he smiled.

"What are you doing all the way up here country girl? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" There was barely a beat before Rachel was answering.

"I'm sorry, I didn't really know I'd be here until yesterday, and I'm leaving tonight, but I had to come see you while I was here." There was a moment's happy quietness before he squeezed her tight one more time.

"Ugh, I'm so glad to see you. I've missed you half-pint." Rachel rolled her eyes and swatted his chest lightheartedly. They regarded each other before the woman turned to where Quinn was sitting, gesturing for her to come over to the pair.

"Um, Quinn, this is Joe Fratelli, my favorite person in the _entire city_. Joe, this is Quinn Fabray. I wanted her to taste the best food in the city before we went home." Joe raised his eye when Rachel said 'We', giving her an interested look which she ignored, before quickly looking back to Quinn and shaking her hand.

"Nice to meet you Quinn. Any friend of Rachel's…" He trailed off.

"Must've learned how to block out the rambling too?" She finished for him with a playful smile. Rachel gave the girl a look of mock-outrage, but Joe bellowed a laugh and clapped a hand on Rachel's shoulder. He indicated that they take seats at the counter stools and walked back behind it.

"So, something for lunch, yes?" Rachel nodded and Quinn smiled. He slid a couple of menus in front of them and asked them for a drinks order. Rachel ordered two strawberry shakes and Joe nodded, going into the back. Quinn raised her brow questioningly. She was surprised that Rachel would order milkshakes when other options were so readily available; she knew the woman had milk out of necessity, and sometimes indulged in ice-cream, but it was still a little out of character. They must be really good shakes.

The man came back behind the counter with a metal canister, taking a bowl of chopped strawberries from what she assumed was a refrigerator. He took two scoops and put them in before pouring milk into it and putting it under the shake machine. When Quinn tasted it, there was no question in her mind that it was the best shake she had ever had. She smiled at Joe and licked her lips, telling him as much. He thanked her and then leaned on the counter, chin resting in his hand, smiling at Rachel.

"So what would two beautiful women want for lunch?" He asked them charmingly. Quinn hadn't even looked at the menu, but Rachel turned to her before she had a chance to look.

"Joe here can and will cook anything you can think of. What would you have if you could?" Rachel looked at her with her elbow on the counter, chin in her palm, mirroring the man.

"Uhh…well, I'm kinda craving a BLT, I guess." Joe winked at her and nodded.

"You got it. Anything else?" Quinn looked a little embarrassed, but nodded, feeling kind of greedy and embarrassed.

"Yeah, actually. Well, I haven't had fries for _months.._." He chuckled lightly and nodded.

"BLT and Fries, no problem. And what about you my friend?" He asked, turning to Rachel so their faces were only a couple of inches apart. If they weren't such close friends it would've been awkward, but they were comfortably staring at each other, eyes at the same level.

"Why, the Rachel Berry late night special, of course." He rolled his eyes and stood up straight.

"Of course. Burger, fries, slaw, extra greasy. Be back in a few. Help yourself to anything you need." Rachel smiled and air-kissed towards him before he disappeared, turning to Quinn and taking in her bemused expression."What?"

"You ordered a burger, and coleslaw covered in mayo? Rachel I know there was that whole Lobster incident, but that's seriously anti-vegan." Rachel laughed a little, and nodded sagely.

"Well, yes. It would be, if this wasn't a vegan restaurant." Quinn's brow raised in shock."Seriously? Everything? Even this shake?" She asked, holding up the glass. Rachel nodded.

"Rice milk ice-cream, a little soy milk to thin it out, fresh strawberries. It's good, huh?" Quinn nodded in amazement, before laughing slightly.

"What?" Rachel asked, slightly confused.

"Joe. He just doesn't seem like the type." Rachel nodded.

"I know, right? The first time I came here was after a party, so I was kinda drunk. I went nuts when he put a burger down in front of me; animal rights, outrage at my vegan friends for being so easily swayed, the whole ten yards. They all just laughed at me and told me it was a standard vegy-burger. Then I ate it, passed out drunk on the bench and they couldn't move me because they were all so drunk, and he put me in his bed and slept on the floor down here. I was a little freaked the next morning but he cooked me the best vegan bacon, eggs and pancakes I've ever eaten, and from then onwards he's been like family. Eventually I found out he's been vegan ever since he was a kid. He lived in New Jersey, and he had pet chickens, but his dad lost his job, they were short on money, so his parents killed and ate them. He came into his house one day to see his favorite one half plucked on the kitchen table. He refused to eat them, and has been vegan ever since, but he's still a total guy in every other respect." Quinn shrugged her shoulders.

"It takes all sorts I guess." She could smell food cooking and realized how hungry she was after the stress of the day. When Joe brought two plates in, she eyed her BLT warily, knowing it wasn't real bacon, but eventually gave in. She couldn't tell the difference, and asked repeatedly if it was real bacon. The answer remained no.

They spent the meal amiably chatting about Rachel and Joe's past, how Rachel spent hours holed up in Joe's diner when everything got to be too much for her in the big bad world.

"I would just spend days in here because it's always so quiet. People tend to start coming here from like 2am onwards, so I basically had Joe and the whole place to myself" Rachel said, smiling wistfully as she ran her index finger around the rim of her coffee cup."

"Yeah, I remember when Nadine first laid one on you, after that play. You ran, came here and spent the next twenty-four hours panicking. You were just a scared little kid back then," Quinn laughed sympathetically, running her hand consolingly down Rachel's arm; it didn't go unnoticed by Joe, but the two women's eyes were locked on each other so they didn't see his smirk and raised eyebrow.

"Well, at least you didn't freak out, run home to Ohio and never talk to her again, I guess" Quinn said lightly.

"This is true" the cook said with a smile. Seeing that the two women were finished with their after-meal coffee, he swiped their cups up from the counter and took them into the back, prompting Quinn to look at her phone for the time. 3.30pm. She sighed, trying to ease the nervous bubbling in her stomach.

"I have to get back to the campus and find out if they want me for a call-back or not." Rachel smiled sympathetically at the blond and took the opportunity to grab her hand and squeeze it in support.

"There's nothing you can do to change anything now. If you get it, fantastic, that's another step closer, but if you don't you have other options." She took a deep, calming breath and nodded as Joe returned.

"We have to get out of here gorgeous, but thank you so much for lunch. It was amazing, as always." Rachel emoted. Quinn excused herself to the bathroom, leaving Rachel alone with the man and his smirk.

"So…" He began pointedly. Rachel smiled suspiciously.

"So…?"

"She seems great. A little quiet, but…" Rachel nodded in understanding."She's usually more talkative than this, she's just nervous about this big audition that she has." Joe gave her a look of comprehension and nodded.

"Oh, OK." He looked at Rachel as she looked over to the restroom door, waiting for Quinn to return. "Rach?" The woman turned back to look at him, then saw his no bullshit expression and smiled shyly down at her feet.

"She's someone special." She said, meaning in a general sense as well as someone special to her.

"Is she worth it?" Rachel's eyes shot back up to his, which were now serious, in question. "You've changed Rach, you're…I don't know, quieter? More contemplative.. guarded maybe. Obviously it's serious between you two, no matter how little you're telling me. So: _is_ she worth it?" Rachel slowly got up and walked around the counter, to stand in front of him and put her arms around his neck, overwhelmed with her love for the man who was so worried for her welfare. If Rachel had had a brother, he couldn't have ever been as good to her as Joe. After a moment's hesitation he placed his arms softly around her back.

"I think…I think she's worth more, Joe. Everything, even." He relaxed more into the hug upon hearing her words. "Plus, you know, me being a little quieter is not necessarily a bad thing." He laughed into the crook of her neck and lifted her to his height, causing her to squeal and laugh a little as she hung from his arms, until he placed her softly back on the ground.

"How much do I owe you?" the brunette asked him. He looked offended and pointed his right index between her eyes.

"Rachel Berry, if you threaten to pay me again, I'll have to bar you from coming back." She raised her brow and pretended to bite the end of his finger that was still pointed at her, but he didn't flinch, still staring her down. Eventually she rolled her eyes.

"Fine! But when you're bankrupt, don't blame me."

"Deal." They exchanged another kiss on the cheek as Quinn returned.

"It was so good to see you country girl. Don't be such a stranger, OK?" Rachel wiped a tear from her cheek as she smiled at him.

"OK, I promise." She sniffed her tears back and made her way back around the counter to Quinn's side. The girl didn't say anything to her or try to comfort her, just smiled at Rachel and let her have her moment of sadness. Joe saw her tears dry up instantly; clearly the girl _was _something special.

"Thank you for lunch, it was _amazing"_ the blond girl thanked him warmly, offering him her hand to shake.

"You are _more_ than welcome, Ms Fabray." He replied, shaking her hand gently over the counter with a smile on his lips. "If you ever decide to give up being a carnivore just give me a call, I've got lots of tips. And make sure this one comes back here more often!" Rachel rolled her eyes, but Quinn laughed.

"You promise to cook more like that and I'll escort her back every week!" the young woman joked back to him. They all laughed, and Rachel blew the man a kiss to where he leaned against the counter on his elbows as they left. He returned the kiss and watched wistfully as they made their exit."Such a fuckin' cute couple" he griped after the door closed, shaking his head as he returned to the back, climbing the stairs again.

The girls caught another taxi, and Rachel took the opportunity to talk to Quinn,

"So, I can't come back in with you, I think I'll put you off too much." The blond wanted to dispute this point but she could see that Rachel wasn't open to discussion, so she just bit her lip as the woman continued. "I do have some tips though-" Quinn opened her mouth to argue that she might not even get an interview callback, but Rachel cut her off by putting her hand over her mouth. "Yes, you will. Now, Robert McLeod can smell a bullshitter a mile away, so try not to be pretentious, or brown-nose him." Quinn tried to speak again, and say that she never would, but Rachel's hand was still there. The woman felt her jaw move though. "I know you wouldn't consciously, but nerves do funny things to people. So!" She said, removing her hand from the young woman's mouth. "If he asks you about why you want to go to Juilliard, don't talk about how you want the best education possible, because that's not really what you're interested in; you're interested in being surrounded by people like you, in immersing yourself in music." Quinn bobbed her head to the side in admission. "If he asks about your home life or anything like that, you either have to be insanely blunt, or give him some vague details and then tell him you're not comfortable with discussing it. He's very much like me, so don't build him up in your head, just listen to him and respond." Rachel was pulled out of her speech by Quinn grabbing her hand and interlocking their fingers. She took it as a cue to stop talking, and nodded slightly, sitting back in her seat; Quinn could tell that Rachel was nervous on her behalf, and it was making her feel worse.

Eventually the girl wanted to try and think of something else so she broke the quiet."So, how do you know this guy anyway? You studied voice, he's part of the piano faculty." Rachel felt her heart speed up a little in response to the question; she could _not_ tell Quinn that he was the father of her ex, it would be nerve-destroying. She decided to lie for the greater good and tell her after the interview (which she was certain the girl would get).

"He's an old friend of the family actually. It wasn't a problem while I was there because he wasn't teaching me." Rachel subtly watched the girl to see if she accepted the explanation, and she seemed to not find issue with it. The brunette reminded herself to sigh in relief when she was alone and it wouldn't look suspicious. As their conversation came to a close, the driver pulled up to the sidewalk outside the building and they took each other's hands."Break a leg Quinn." Rachel told the girl, putting as much emotion as she could behind it.

"Thank you, Rachel" the blond replied, meaning it in more than one way. They held eye contact for a minute before the cabbie cleared his throat, and the girl slid out of the door, not letting go of Rachel's hand until the very last second.

She heard the car pull away as she slowly made her way up the steps to the foyer. The man behind the desk smiled at her and told her to take a seat. The place was, if possible even more deathly silent than in had been the first time she walked in. She took a seat, and about five minutes later a tall dark-haired woman in a ruffled pearl-colored blouse and a pencil skirt walked out into the room and addressed all of the scared-looking teenagers waiting in the seats.

"I have here the list of those people who auditioned who are not required to interview with one of the three faculty members here today." Quinn squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath as the woman went down the list of names, faces falling every time she called a new name. A couple of girls were teary-eyed, and one of the boys stormed out of the door, his mother following close behind him. The woman addressed them again. "If I have read out your name, I would like to thank you for coming today, however I regret to tell you that your application has been unsuccessful at this time. If your name was not read out, you are requested to stay for an interview." It was only when the stern woman said this that Quinn realised she had gotten through. She was trying to swallow down a loud squeal of happiness, struggling. She was a little saddened that there was no one there to turn to and talk animatedly with; the rest of the applicants had turned to their parents or whoever was with them, and were chattering excitedly. She made do with texting Rachel the good news, and was cheered a little by the reply.

_OMG I'm so proud of you! I told you that you were fantastic, didn't I? Well done! _She was glad that the woman hadn't just said "I told you so" even though she had various times.

After about ten minutes, the woman with the list came back and addresses those who had been asked to audition, around. There was about thirty of them in total

"OK then everybody, you will be interviewing with the faculty member who you auditioned with. Each interview will take approximately thirty minutes, so I'm afraid that some of you will have to be here until as late as ten. The times for each of you are as follows." Quinn nodded her head, reminding herself to text Amanda if she was going to be one of the later ones.

When the woman had finally finished reading the audition times, Quinn found that she was second in line, which she was thankful for, because she only had enough money on her for the cab fare back to Amanda's, and she didn't think she'd be able to entertain herself for five hours without getting away from the oppressive tension in the building. The first slightly grey looking people were called in, and Quinn sat back to wait.

It took about two minutes before she was bored and got out her phone to text Rachel.

_So… What'cha doing? _She put her headphones back in her ears as she waited for the response.

_Just chilling in my hotel room ;)_ The blond smirked at the message; it was the perfect line for what she was intending.

_Really?… What are you wearing? _Across town, the brunette laughed throatily. Obviously the girl was much calmer now that she had gotten to the interview phase; if there was one thing the girl could control, it was a conversation. She had obviously decided she could spare the time to flirt. Rachel decided that she needed to maintain their separation as much as possible, at least on a sexual level (and it was much easier when they weren't face to face).

_I'm not having this conversation with you! Stop breaking your own rules._

_WHAT? You told me to touch myself whilst thinking of you last night, and _I'm _the one breaking the rules?_

_Yes. Because you're allowed to fantasize. Fantasies are one-sided, I wasn't part of it, so you weren't breaking any rules._

_Umm, pretty sure you **were** part of my fantasizing last night to be honest. _The teacher rolled her eyes at the girl's loose interpretation of her words.

_You know what I meant._

_Fine. At least I'm allowed to fantasize. I guess it's better than nothing... _Quinn sent the message and quickly typed another one with a smirk. _Know what I'm fantasizing about now?_ Rachel read the last one and bit her lip, face scrunching in determination to not take the bait and ask.

_You're not fantasizing at all, because you're sitting in a public place._ She hit the send button, biting her lip, trying to ignore her temptation, but she couldn't resist a little fun and swiftly sent another. _And if you were fantasizing about me, you would just _have_ to touch yourself, so unless you're kinkier than i thought, it's impossible._ She scrunched her eyes closed, reprimanding herself for giving in; she walked into the en-suite bathroom and splashed some water on her face, noticing that her pupils were totally blown. She shook her head and then picked her phone up from the counter as she received another text.

_Nope, wrong. I'm imagining you, in your shower… _Rachel noticed her breath had become ragged as she exited the bathroom to sit on her bed, waiting for the rest of the obviously unfinished message.

…_And me, kneeling down, one of your legs over my shoulder, making you scream my name over and over._

"Fuck." she muttered under her breath, as she gave in and reclined onto her bed, quickly removing every scrap of clothing she had on and laying spread wide on top of the comforter. She snatched up her phone eagerly as it beeped again with a new message.

_Are you ready to break the rules and play along yet?_ She smirked as she read it, sending one final text back to the blond before indulging herself.

Quinn sat on the uncomfortable plastic seat, waiting impatiently for a reply, but her concentration was broken when she heard her name being called across the room. She winced slightly and frowned as she stood, before making eye contact and forcing a smile at Mr McLeod as he called her. She crossed the room, praying for the reply before she sat down for the interview; she would find it too hard to concentrate without seeing it. Just before she got to the door, she felt her phone buzz, smiling before sneakily reading the last message. Her eyes widened as she read it, her face blank as she sat down where Mr McLeod had indicated and turned off her phone.

_No. I'm not going to break any rules. Lucky for me fantasizing isn't against the rules, and you've given me plenty of material... I'm gonna be…"busy"… for an hour or so. But don't worry, I'll be thinking of you the whole time. x_

_**So i guess this chap was a little bit of a filler, but sometimes it's nice just to have some light fluff :)**_

_**As always comments are welcome and encouraged, as well as suggestions and feedback.**_

_**Will try and post again soon!  
**_

_**Until next time ;)  
**_


	20. Chapter 20

**_Hi guys!_**

**_So with much (and i mean much) prompting from the girls on the Achele thread over at The L Chat, i present: the next chapter (*pauses for applause*)_**

**_The end of this chapter marks the beginning of when the proverbial shit hits the proverbial fan; expect dramarama from now on._**

**_Thank you everyone for your questions/comments etc, i love seeing what you guys think, and you tend to keep me on track._**

**_Bask in the fluffiness everyone, shit's about to go down. _**

**_Enjoy!  
_**

**Chapter 20**

Swallowing down her sudden arousal, Quinn turned off her phone and tried to look the man in front of her directly in the eye without feeling too creeped out or guilty about what she was thinking of. She cleared her throat slightly and smiled, sure that her cheeks were flushed. _Maybe he'll just think it's nerves_ she hoped silently. By the look of the kind smile that he shot back at her, she was satisfied her prayer had been answered.

"So" he began, "Miss Fabray, how are you this evening?" She smiled at the man's courteous beginning thinking _Now this is something I know how to handle_.

"I'm very well, thank you. A little, uh, dazed maybe, but handling it." He laughed lightly as he nodded at her and then looked down at his notes.

"Now, I just want to have a conversation with you, find out a little more about you. Is that OK with you?" She smiled widely, nodding her consent.

"Great. Well, first of all, could you tell me a little about yourself?"

They spent the next twenty minutes or so talking about all of her school accolades, Head Cheerio, Honor Roll, her religion, her job helping to teach the Sunday school class (which paid a ridiculous sum of money) before finally getting onto the topic of music.

"So, I was looking over the dates for your exams, and it seems that there was a big gap between seven and eight. Why's that." She sighed a little and allowed her face to reflect her irritation. She decided to be honest.

"Well, when I became captain of the cheer-leading squad, I didn't have a whole lot of time for theory lessons, and if I couldn't do my five theory I couldn't do eight piano. I wanted to continue in my own time but…" At this pause, the man's eyebrows raised. "Well, my parents are very…strong-willed. When I told them I didn't have time for lessons any more, they decided to sell my piano, to uh…" She wondered exactly how much the man would be offended afters she said what she needed to. "They decided to sell it to recover some of the wasted money." Upon hearing this, the man's eyebrows shot up his forehead. He looked less than amused."

"Really now? Well that is interesting." Quinn shifted in her chair, nodding in admittance. "Well, how did they react when you started up again?" Quinn's frown was enough to indicate what the story was. He waited patiently for her to explain.

"To be honest, sir, they don't know. I started playing again about four months ago, took my exams and applied ASAP." When Quinn managed to meet his eyes, the expression on his face was an interesting mixture of blank, angry and intrigued. She couldn't really figure out what it meant. He shifted in his seat and sat a little straighter, resting his elbows on the desk and interlinking his fingers. He gave her a stern look and then opened his mouth to speak once again.

"Do your parents know you're here?" His question didn't shock her. She knew she could answer him truthfully without him knowing the truth, but she decided against it. She sighed, building her resolve.

"They know I'm here in the City, sir, but they don't even know that I applied here, so they don't know that I'm here to audition. They think I'm looking around the Colombia campus." He nodded slowly, deep in thought.

"This is a strange situation I find myself in." Quinn nodded and widened her eyes in agreement. "Would you care to explain to me in a little more detail, perhaps?" Quinn closed her eyes, hoping for the best.

"Well, at the beginning of this year, we were assigned a new music teacher. I was having a tough time and she was kind to me, and then when she asked in class who could play an instrument, and I told her I could, she got me to play. It was the first time I had played in almost a year and a half." The man exhaled through his mouth, showing that he was impressed, but she continued. "When I told her the reason I didn't play any more, not because I didn't want to but because I couldn't, she was incensed. She demanded that I take theory lessons again, and when I said I couldn't afford them, and I didn't have a piano to practice on, she decided to teach me herself and let me use the school piano. I managed to get my grades just in time to apply."

Professor McLeod nodded slowly, biting his lip a little in concentration.

"I see. Well, she must be quite the teacher." Quinn laughed a little shakily.

"She is." He nodded in contemplation of his next question.

"I have to say, though, Quinn, it seems like applying here was a hasty decision. You have the skill to get here obviously, but we're looking for people with drive, people who have known that they've wanted this since they were three years old" He smiled, thinking of Rachel and the determination that she always showed, and happily remembering when she had described that selfsame story to him. "I'm just not sure that you don't only want to be here for the prestige. I mean, I'm sure there would have been some way you could've achieved the grades on your own last year if you'd had the determination." Quinn clenched her jaw in frustration, seeing the disappointment in the man's eyes. She took a couple of calming breaths before replying in an even tone.

"Mr McLeod, since I can remember, I've loved music. I've loved playing since I started when I was six years old. But when your parents, and your classmates, and everyone else you know, tell you that it's worthless, that it's useless, ridicule you for it, you tend to be a little shaken in your resolve. It doesn't mean that I love it any less, or want it any less, it just means that I didn't have anyone in my corner saying 'you can do this'." Robert bit his bottom lip, feeling a little guilty because of the girl's impassioned speech. "Every single one of those people waiting outside has at least one person out with them who is proud of them for getting this far. They have a parent, or a family member, cheering them on. I am here, alone, trying to ignore the thought that even if I _do _get accepted, I _still _might not even be able to afford it because my parents will kick me out as soon as they find out." Quinn found that she had raised her voice without realizing, and took some deep breaths to try and calm herself. Robert sat at his desk, trying not to show how surprised he was, calmly waiting.

"Mr McLeod, you're right, I haven't wanted Juilliard since I was three years old." She paused, trying to get her point across. " But I've wanted _music_ every second since the day I was born. I've wanted to be surrounded by it, to explore it, and feel it within every pore. I wanted it, but I didn't think I could have it, because not a single person said I could, until one woman gave me some encouragement. ONE person in my life knew how it felt, and she is the reason I'm here, the reason I'm telling you that I don't _want_ or _need_ Juilliard; I need _music_, and if you decide that my "rash decision" isn't worth your time, then I'm not under and false pretense that I can't go somewhere else. This is just the best place to do what I love." She was breathing heavily by this time, trying to get her anger to abate. Robert looked a little surprised to say the least, and his expression caused Quinn to curse internally at her rashness, shutting her eyes. She took three deep, calming breaths, and then looked back at him.

"Mr McLeod, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, I was out of line. But the suggestion that I'm just here on a whim is completely false. The only thing that the short time frame proves is that I had less time to prepare and had to work harder in that time to get here." He was silent for a moment before grunting a small laugh and leaning back in his chair.

"Touché, Ms Fabray. You make a good point." He paused, resting his fingertips together and resting them on his lips, in contemplation. He sighed heavily, before getting up and walking behind her. Quinn regarded his actions with fear, they were only a half hour into their forty-five minute interview, and from the looks of things he wanted her to leave. Her lips trembled slightly as she stood, straightening her shirt and turning around, but when she looked at him, he was standing by the piano in the back of the room.

"Could you come here please, and sit at the piano?" She looked at him, slightly confused, but straightened her spine and raised her head like the true Head Bitch that everyone at McKinley thought she was, and took a seat at the piano. "Well then, Quinn, I've seen how skillful you are. Now I want to see how passionate you are." She looked up at him with a questioning expression.

"I thought I wasn't expected to play in this interview?" He looked down at her, and the blond thought she could see the slightest hint of a smile.

"Well apparently you are a special case. Play me something you love. It doesn't have to be long, and it doesn't have to be difficult, but I want it to be something you _love_." She regarded him for another second before nodding and licking her lips, a determined expression back on her face. He grabbed the chair Quinn had been sitting on in front of the desk and moved it closer to the piano.

With a deep breath, Quinn tried to think of something she could play. She knew what she wanted to play, there were two short pieces, but she was a little embarrassed about it. In the end though it was all she could think of, so she set her hands on the keys and started beating out the first notes of an up-tempo piece, one that she could release all of her energy and her latent frustration from the previous conversation into. Her hands moved rapidly over the keys, and as the crescendo built, she could feel her heart swell with the love that she felt for the music, and she felt the tension in her body dissipate as she seamlessly melded the lilting notes of the upper register with the resounding swell of the lower, seamlessly joining the two into an echo of pure passion for the refrain. As the piece drew towards the end it became frantic, and then died out slowly. She found herself panting slightly as the final notes rang out, before she felt that she was calm enough to play the second piece. It was the one she had been wanting to play, the one that she hadn't been able to get out of her head when she first heard it, but she didn't feel calm enough to express the subtle nuances of the piece when she first sat down; the previous piece had been a stress-reliever of sorts. As she played, she felt the ebb and flow of the melody surrounding her, felt as if she fell when the notes fell, and she spun when the notes repeated, spiraled themselves. Her heart and breathing slowed and she fell into the music, unable to stop herself from closing her eyes. The piece itself was a little melancholy compared to the previous piece, but Quinn loved it. When the melody petered out and the hanging notes died, she looked over to Professor McLeod. He lifted his chin a little in an expression that Quinn couldn't decipher, so she just sat and waited quietly.

"Very nice, Ms Fabray." She looked over to him, seeing if he had anything else to say. "Well, I think we're all done here. You can go now, and we'll be in touch." Quinn squeezed her eyes shut, locking her jaw and trying to steel herself from tears; his words sounded to her like 'better luck next time'. She opened her eyes and stood, muttered a quiet thank you before she straightened her spine, lifted her chin and marched out of the room, only stopping to grab her bag before walking out of the building and not looking back.

She waited until she was safely in the back of a cab and had given the driver the address before allowing her unshed tears to streak down her face. She sobbed quietly, trying not to draw any attention from the man in the front of the car. _Why the fuck didn't I just play something different!_ she thought angrily to herself. A small voice in the back of her head said _Because he told you to play something you love, and you love those pieces._ She decided that obviously they just weren't good enough. If she was honest, she was a little embarrassed about playing them; they were both pieces that she knew from her childhood, stuck being babysat by her sister's boyfriend while her parents and sister went to church functions she wasn't old enough to attend. He would play video games all the time, and barely paid any attention to her. She wasn't really mature enough to read to herself at that age, there wasn't another television in the house at the time and there was only so much a kid could play alone before they got lonely, so she would park herself in front of the sofa as he played. Usually the games were boring, but one time he'd been playing something which she couldn't take her eyes off. The pictures were so pretty and the story was beautiful, if a little weird sometimes, but it was the music that had her completely enraptured. She had thought that video games had stupid repetitive music (even then she was fairly pretentious about music) but with this, even after he left, she couldn't forget it. Eventually, as she'd got older, and started using the internet more, she had investigated and had found the music. She found out that the game was called Final Fantasy X, and when she discovered that there was an album of music from it played on piano she downloaded the MP3s and the sheet music, and she had learned to play every piece by heart within two weeks. She had absolutely no interest in the game, but she played the music over and over again. The ones she had played were called "Assault" and "Via Purifico", and it was the latter that she loved the most.

It was about being lost, but having to continue on and try to find your way even though it was almost impossible, and as a child as…_different_…as her, it had spoken to her strongly. Now though she was regretting it. _I guess it's not just the kids at school who think that I'm a freak. I guess it's true _she thought dejectedly as she watched the buildings roll past the windows. _If someone like that thinks that I suck, I guess it's true._ She sighed shakily and got out of the cab, paying and then trying to make herself presentable in the reflection from one of the windows; if Amanda saw her crying and then she would ask questions, and she _really_ did not want to provide answers. She plastered a smile on her face and walked into the house.

Later that evening, when Robert had finally finished interviewing, and he and Rachel were tucked away in a little restaurant catching up. They chatted about his wife and daughter (who Rachel was still fond of even though they didn't exactly keep in touch). Rachel tried to resist getting information about Quinn; she wanted to know, but she didn't know if she could keep it from the blond.

There was a lull in their conversation when their coffee was served, and Rachel took in the contemplative look on the man's face.

"Hey you," she teased, putting her hand softly on top of his hand that was resting on the table. "Where are you?" He looked up at her, shook his head slightly as if to rid himself of the thoughts he'd been having, and smiled at her.

"Sorry Rachel, I… I guess I'm just a little out of it." She smiled gently at him.

"Why's that?" She asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Just the auditions. There was…" he looked up at her, seemingly deliberating whether or not to tell her. "There was this girl today, she was very impressive." Rachel pressed her lips together and nodded, not sure what to think, whether he could be talking about Quinn or not. He continued. "I mean, they're all impressive, otherwise they wouldn't be interviewing, but…" He trailed off.

"But what" she asked laughing, mock intrigue on her face.

"I think - I think I really offended her. She told me that her parents forced her to give up piano, and she didn't start again until recently because a teacher encouraged her to, but I asked her why she didn't continue on her own, told her that it sounded like she lacked the drive to do it on her own." Rachel was absolutely certain who they were talking about now, but rather than egging him to continue, she was busily trying to keep her expression neutral instead of frowning menacingly at him for speaking that way to Quinn.

"And she, well, usually the kids in interviews are so stiff and polite, but she wasn't afraid, or maybe she was just too angry. She told me exactly what she thought, she was _brutal_" he admitted with a half-chuckle, not looking at Rachel. She allowed her right brow to raise slightly before deciding she should push him a little further.

"Well? What happened?"

"I felt really bad, I mean she made extremely good points. Her parents didn't even support her in something that, after that, I saw she was really passionate about. They didn't know she was there. She told me the only person who had ever supported her in it was this teacher, not even her friends or anything. And, I mean, she's _really_ talented. A little rough around the edges, maybe, but _so _passionate. And this teacher of hers, I'd like to meet that woman and shake her hand." Rachel allowed herself a moment to mentally pat herself on the back. "I asked the kid to play me something she loved. I'd never heard it before, but it was beautiful, and you could see that she just lost herself to it. After that I said she could go and she just thanked me and left."

He was running his hand around the lip of his coffee mug, deep in thought. Rachel couldn't resist pushing a little further.

"So, what's the hang-up?" He finally looked up at her and smiled.

"I guess I just regret it. I feel bad, she was obviously upset. But she…I don't know, I guess it's just not that often that I get shown the error of my ways by a teenager, you know?" Rachel laughed at this comment and relaxed back into her seat. _Well, that's a good sign at least, he's not mad at her. Although I'll have to talk to her about how to talk in polite company._ She decided on one final push before she dropped it.

"Is she good enough, you think?"

"They're all good enough. We'll just have to discuss it and see if she's better than at least ten of the other people who auditioned. I mean there were a couple who absolutely blew me away. One girl - I mean she looked like a cutthroat bitch, but damn she could play. I mean, I think she lost maybe three notes in the entire audition. And one of the boys could literally play anything he heard with only a couple of practices. And then there's all of the people who auditioned with other members of the faculty." Rachel nodded and licked her lips. _Of course this would be the only thing I DON'T get a clear answer to… _She half listened to him talk about the other candidates as she surreptitiously checked her phone. She had texted Quinn hours ago but hadn't got a reply. Sighing a little, she turned back to Robert who was calling for the bill.

At Amanda's house, just as Amanda had wished her a good night and gone to bed, Quinn had finally remembered that she turned off her phone for the interview. She picked it up to turn it on. The first thing she saw was a text from Rachel.

_How'd it go baby?_

Her lips quivered as she tried not to be angry at the woman; she didn't know that Quinn just wanted to forget it ever happened. _Honesty, Quinn. You have to be honest._ She typed a quick reply.

_I think I fucked up. He was saying things and I got mad at him, then he asked me to play something else and then told me to go, like he was kicking me out. I think I pretty much sealed my fate._

She sent the message and sighed, walking out of the kitchen with a glass of water in hand, placing it carefully on the coffee table and flopping unceremoniously on top of the blankets of her makeshift bed. She rested the phone on her stomach and allowed her eyes to flutter closed, before feeling the vibration on her stomach and reading what it said.

_What's the address of the place you're staying? _

Quinn's eyebrow raised in confusion and she debated whether she should just tell her what she'd asked or question her motives. Rolling her eyes and shrugging slightly, she wrote out the address, and added a _why? _onto the end of the message. The reply was instant.

_I'm coming over._

Quinn read and re-read the message in shock. First she was dead-set against the idea, thinking _What if Amanda wakes up, we're not supposed to be seeing each other, WHAT IF AMANDA WAKES UP? _There was, however a little part of her that wanted to see the beautiful brunette and let her comfort her, and that part of her got bigger and bigger until she decided to just wait for her to arrive. About ten minutes later she heard a car outside and hopped off the couch, her heart fluttering a little. She opened the door as silently as possible and couldn't help but beam as she saw Rachel look around a little before setting eyes on the blond and rushing over. Quinn walked down the steps barefoot and melted into Rachel's chest; the woman was wearing heels that were a good four inches, her "cut a bitch" heels as she liked to call them, and they put her a little above Quinn. They spent a moment drinking each other in, before Rachel drew her head back by stroking her hair back until Quinn moved away. The brunette smiled at Quinn before taking her hand and sitting down on the steps. Quinn shivered a little, so Rachel unbuttoned her black pea coat and wrapped the open part (and her arms) around Quinn, still wearing the coat. The girl snuggled into her and sighed contentedly. They were silent for a few moments, as they usually were together since they decided to wait; they always liked to just soak each other in before getting down to business.

"So," Rachel said softly, the side of her jaw on the crown of Quinn's head, "What happened?" Quinn explained in detail the events of the interview, and Rachel bit her lip to keep silent.

Eventually, when the story was done, Rachel decided that she had to tell the girl the truth. She took Quinn's hand, which had been drawing little shapes on her knee which was bent so her foot was resting on the step below where they were sitting, and Quinn started playing with her fingers with both hands. She smiled at the girl's cute behavior, realizing that it meant she was feeling particularly vulnerable.

"Ba- Quinn, you know how I was there today?" The girl nodded slightly, trying not to dislodge Rachel's head. "Well, obviously Robert McLeod and I know each other." Quinn hummed her understanding softly in the back of her throat.

"Well, I didn't want to tell you this earlier and put you off for your interview, but…well, we met because I used to date his daughter." At this Quinn sat up slowly, and looked at her. Rachel could see her brain functioning, and hoped she would be reasonable.

"How long did you date for?" She asked neutrally.

"Um, about six months, I guess." Quinn nodded once and then, to Rachel's relief she settled back against her chest, quietly playing with her hand again. Rachel tried not to sigh, but turned her eyes up to the cloudy sky in thanks. "Well, I always got on well with him, we keep in touch and I usually take him out too dinner when I'm in the city." She paused for a moment, praying for everything to go as she wanted. "I took him out this evening, and…he mentioned you." This time, Quinn shot up so quickly, Rachel was surprised she didn't lose any of her teeth. Quinn's eyes were wide.

"What did he say?"

"He said that he felt bad that he upset you…" Quinn looked down at her knees. "And he said that the way you spoke to him - yelled at him" She said with raised eyebrows, "impressed him. He was impressed by the passion you showed when you defended yourself and when he asked you to play again."

It seemed as if Quinn's eyes couldn't get any wider. She looked away then back to Rachel quickly, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "You're not just making this up to make me feel better are you?" Rachel grinned widely and shook her head raising three fingers.

"Scouts honor." Quinn laughed and shook her head at the cheesiness of the joke, but calmed down enough to settle back into Rachel's side. After a moment, Quinn's eyes narrowed in mirth.

"So…that message you sent me earlier…" She trailed off, trying not to laugh as she felt Rachel's heart rate increase under her ear. "…was _that _made up to make me feel better?" Rachel bit her lip, and decided to test how far she could go.

"Quinn…I said I would always be honest with you, didn't I?" The woman felt Quinn tense up under her arm, and held in a laugh. Quinn could feel her chest tremmoring and knew that she was laughing at her, so she slapped her knee lightly. Rachel gasped in mock-outrage.

"What? I was just being honest with you! If you didn't want to know you shouldn't have asked."

"You're teasing me woman! Stop it." Rachel 's laughter died down. She smiled fondly and wrapped Quinn in an tight embrace, kissing her on the top of her head and remaining there for a few moments.

"Soon, Quinn. We'll be together soon." She said against the girl's cashmere locks. She felt the girl nod again.

"Did you really get a cab all the way over here to make sure I was OK?" Quinn asked quietly, like a tired child.

"Of course I did. I only need the slightest excuse and I'll be here, OK?" The blond hummed contentedly, and Rachel could tell that in spite of the chill, Quinn was falling asleep. The brunette shrugged a little, jogging the girl awake.

"C'mon, let's get you inside." Rachel stood and pulled the sleepy girl with her, supporting her as they walked through the door. She trudged back to the sofa, pulling Rachel along by the hand, and laid down, indicating that Rachel should perch next to her pillows.

"Will you stay until I fall asleep?" the blond asked with shining eyes as she looked up to where Rachel was looking down at her. The woman gently brushed some hair out of Quinn's face and nodded. The girl twisted until her forehead was against Rachel's thigh, soothed by the brunette stroking her hair.

"Sing to me?" she mumbled as sleep took her and her eyes fluttered closed. Rachel looked to the ceiling, contemplating what to sing. She decided on something mellow, not really about her voice, just something gentle.

"Deep blue sea, darlin' oh, deep blue sea…" She started softly, watching Quinn's expression slowly become peaceful as she slept. The song was short, but Quinn fell asleep even quicker. Rachel gently hummed where the original whistled, to make sure she didn't disturb the girl. When she was done, Rachel slipped off the sofa, causing her thigh to lose contact with Quinn's head and the girl's forehead to wrinkle, but she didn't wake. Rachel kissed the wrinkles away gently, whispering to her. "I love you, baby. See you at home." She stood up and silently crossed the floor, looking back one more time before she shut the door and called a cab.

For a while after they got home, Quinn successfully ignored Rachel as more than a teacher and managed to not mention to anyone, including her family, what she had really been up to. She and Rachel continued to stay separate, but in the second week of March, everything went to hell. She found herself driving to school, and opened envelope in her had, at six thirty in the morning. She parked right next to the building and ran in, tears streaming down her face. Finally, she reached her destination, and threw open the door to Rachel's office. The brunette was startled, but as soon as she saw Quinn and the state she was in, she didn't hesitate in getting up and wrapping her arms around her. Quinn dropped the envelope she had been holding so she could cling to Rachel's sweater, and sobbed into her shoulder, unable to care that she was staining the item of clothing with her tears, and unable to stop sobbing in spite of Rachel's hands soothingly caressing her back and hair and whispering into her ear.

**_OMG! What's going on? Why is she crying? This and more will be answered next time (cheesy announcer voice)_**

**_If anyone wants to know the piano pieces, they're Assult and Via Purifico from the Final Fantasy X Piano Collections album; I totally love the FF games, but the music is beyond amazing. Hit YT and have a listen! (And if you have a PS2 and a penchant for RPGs and aren't bothered by turn-based battle, and haven't played it, get online and buy it because the story and graphics are amazing!) The song Rachel sings at the end is called Deep Blue Sea by Grizzly Bear, and it's from the album Dark Was The Night. Play it when you read that part. If you like the song, i absolutely suggest you buy the Album, the money from it goes to the AIDs charity The Red Hot Organization and I can safely say it is my favorite album of all time. Also, after i started looking at Dianna's playlists, there are a lot of artists that she mentions, so it's kind of the perfect album._**  
_**So, like i said, in the next chapter the angst comes out again. It's dark and twisty, the kind of stuff that i love. **_

_**Leave a comment if there's anything you do/don't want to see, and i'll try my best.**_

_**Thanks for reading! Until next time ;)  
**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**OK, first things first. HOLY FUCKING NAYA! I was never really a fan of Santana, even at her best, until the past couple of episodes, but i cannot believe how amazing she was tonight. Lea might have competition for my heart. If you haven't seen the ep, you just wait.**_

_**Second, i want Finn Hudson to die in a horrific car "accident"  
**_

_**Anyway, this took a bit longer than i had hoped, so i didn't really get much read through time. Sorry if it sucks.**_

_**Thank you for the comments and stuff, especially a certain someone who has been helping me out. I promise i'm trying, even if you can't tell.**_

_**Now a little warning: First ANGST! Second, if you weren't aware this is a G!P fic...well, you will be by the end of this chap. Again, sorry if it sucks.  
**_

_**Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 21**

"Quinn, sweetheart, what's going on?" The teacher coaxed. Quinn only replied by crying harder. Knowing that asking more questions wouldn't work, Rachel just held on tight and was planning on letting her cry it out, but before the tears stopped flowing, Quinn straightened up suddenly and shoved Rachel back into her desk.

"No! Fuck you Rachel! I didn't come here for your fucking sympathy. How pathetic do you really think I am? No, I came here to-" Rachel's face quickly darkened when Quinn started yelling, she would probably be hurt when she thought about it later, but for now she was just pissed. She cut in.

"You came here to what Quinn? What the _hell_ is going on? You can't just storm in here and then do this without explaining yourself! You wanna be 'honest and true' in our relationship? Why don't you tell me what I could have _possibly _done, and stop acting like a fucking child like you keep telling me you're not?" She had never yelled at Quinn like that before, and it shut the blond up rapidly. The young girl swallowed against the thick feeling in her throat before bending and retrieving the dropped envelope, shoving it down on the desk next to Rachel.

"You know what Rachel?" the girl seethed, glowering with her jaw clenched. "You can take our 'honest and true' relationship, and do whatever the fuck you want with it. I put everything I have into this, and now I'm worse off than I was before I ever met you!" She took a step back, taking one last look at Rachel before turning on her heel and walking out of the door.

Rachel's eyes widened in shock and her mouth hung open. Out of all of the things that she was expecting when she saw Quinn, being dumped viciously was the last thing on the list; her mind was still set to 'pissed' instead of 'hurt' though, so she ran out of the door and followed Quinn down the corridor.

"What?" She yelled (or perhaps begged). What the hell are you talking about Quinn?" She was marching as fast as she could down the locker-lined corridors, back to the parking lot, jogging a few steps to catch the blond's arm.

"Get off me Rachel." the blond muttered, yanking her arm out of the woman's grip as she continued to walk.

"No freaking way Quinn, you do not get to do this. We already did this once, remember? I went on a crazy kick, decided we couldn't be together, you got pissed because I didn't talk to you?" Quinn just grunted as she seemingly floated down the steps into the lot. Rachel could feel desperation beginning to claw at the edges of her anger. "Quinn, what are you doing? Don't be a hypocrite, you're just doing what you got so angry at me for doing!" It finally registered in Rachel's head that the blond was heading to her car, and just as she approached it, Rachel ran around her and stood in front of the driver's door. She held her ground as Quinn reached her, and gave her what Rachel realized was a truly formidable and terrifying expression. It was devoid of any emotion other than pure hate. Rachel felt bad for the people who were subject to it daily, but she stood her ground.

"Get out of my way." the blond ground out between her teeth.

"No. Where are you even going? You have school." Rachel retorted as plainly as possible. Quinn raised her eyebrow at the last comment, snarl not falling from her face. She pulled her phone out of her bag without looking, hit dial on a contact and held it up to her ear, staring Rachel down as she did so. Rachel could make out what sounded like an answer machine message, and then a beep.

"Hello there, this is Judy Fabray. I'm afraid Quinn Fabray won't be in school today, she has the 'flu, so she probably won't be in school for a few days at the least." Without breaking eye contact she snapped the phone closed and put it back into her bag.

"What the hell was that?" Rachel exclaimed, scandalized. Quinn pretended to cough a little, covering her mouth with her hand. When she looked back up, she had a smile on her face that was so twisted, Rachel felt almost repulsed.

"I'm sick." The smile dropped again. "Now get out of my way. I don't want to see your face any more." Rachel crossed her arms and gave Quinn an unimpressed expression, but Quinn wasn't perturbed. She put one hand on either of Rachel's arms, just below her shoulders, and moved her out of the way, before quickly getting in her car and starting the engine.

Rachel was beyond shocked, she couldn't understand what was going on. It was as if she had woken up in a parallel universe, where Quinn was not the girl she was in love with, but a menace. She turned around to face the car, only to see the girl with the window wide open, picking a song to play on her iPod as if nothing was wrong. She felt the hurt catching up with her, and her eyes started to tear slightly."Quinn," she whispered, "please. What's going on?" The girl looked up only momentarily.

"Figure it out. You're the adult around here. As for me…well…I don't have somewhere very important to be, so if you'll excuse me?" She gave Rachel that sickening smile again, before hitting play and reversing from her space as a heavy Drum and Bass song started blaring from her car. She pulled away without a second glance at Rachel, before speeding down the street leaving Rachel totally destroyed, standing in the middle of the basically empty parking lot.

She didn't know what to do, until she remembered the envelope still sitting on her desk, so she hurried back into the building, desperate to find out what was going on. Grabbing the torn paper, she pulled the letter out and opened it, not even bothering to sit.

"Dear Miss Fabray…pleased to welcome you…and inform you…" Her brow scrunched up in confusion. The letter wasn't from the admissions department, it was from the finance office of the college.

"She got in… Oh god…" Rachel crumpled the letter in her fist, moving around the desk to sit down. She collapsed into the chair before dissolving into tears, resting her head in her arms.

Quinn had been accepted into the school, she had been offered a partial scholarship, and for anyone else that would have been the best news that they could've possibly received. But in the early days of when Rachel and Quinn had been preparing for her exams and auditions, they had taken the time to make a very detailed game plan. She wouldn't be getting any financial support from her Parents, and as she had no parental support and wouldn't have enough time to earn money to pay off Loan payments, she was relying on bursaries and scholarships. The letter was the details of the money she would receive. It wouldn't be enough.

She tried calling Quinn a couple of times, and texted her as well, but she was ignored every time. Eventually, her sobs grew loud and obviously attracted some attention, as Will Schuster peeked his head around the door of her office.

"Rachel?" The woman looked up, surprised, and when she saw who it was she turned away, trying to wipe her tears and not be too obvious. "Uh…is…everything OK?" She sniffed hard and turned back to him.

"Hi Will. Uh, everything's OK, I just…got some really bad news" she admitted. He raised his head in comprehension.

"Anything I can do?" he asked. She smiled at him lightly and shook her head.

"No it's…something that I can't do anything about, unfortunately. I'm just gonna have to wait it out and see if I can fix it." He smiled a little cluelessly, waiting for the awkwardness to make itself known before he spoke again.

"Um…well, Figgins' staff meeting starts in like five. Do you want to walk with me?" She looked at him for a moment, weighing her options. She kind of wanted him to leave; he still hadn't dropped his flirting attempts and she found him extremely irritating sometimes, but she didn't want to be rude, and more than that, she didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts.

"Sure, I'd appreciate the company. Let me just fix my face. I'll be right back." He walked slowly behind her into the corridor and waited just down the hall from the bathroom. She regarded herself in the mirror blankly for a moment, then shook herself and washed her face, drying it with a paper towel. _Thank god I don't wear much makeup_ she thought humorlessly. She checked her phone again, seeing that there were no messages and allowing herself a little twinge of worry, and a bigger one of pain, before she exited and they walked to the staff room together.

''''''''''''

In the extremely old treehouse in the woods that met the back of the Fabray's house, Quinn lied, cut and scratched from scrabbling up the rickety old steps whilst blinded with tears, trying to wish the world away. She was lying on her side in the fetal position, making what she was sure were noises that sounded like a wounded animal, but she couldn't bring herself to care. The pain tore through her chest and abdomen like someone had cut her open with an axe, and while her crying wasn't making the pain getting any better, it wasn't getting worse, so she carried on.

She felt like everything good that she had in her life had been taken away. Rachel had filled her with such hope about Juilliard, and then she had been so close only to fail at the final hurdle. She had done the hard part and gotten in, but her situation meant that she just couldn't do it. _There but for the grace of God_ her mom would've said. But it was what she herself had done that hurt the most. She felt so awful, and she had just lashed out at the one person she had hurt the most. The way she had spoken to Rachel made her feel sick. She opened her eyes, looking up to heaven in supplication, and it was just as they met the roof of the treehouse that she saw it. Sticking out of a branch that braced the roof was Puck's 'safe keeping' box, otherwise known as his secret stash. When he had been attempting to get in Quinn's pants for the nth time, he would spend a lot of time there. They would occasionally smoke some weed or drink out of a bottle of vodka that he had up there. She wondered if the box was empty; it was unlike Puck to lose track of that kind of stuff.

She shakily stood up from the floor, opened the box and found that she had hit the jackpot. Almost an entire eight of pot, some rolling papers, a plastic lighter and two thirds of a huge bottle of vodka. She only deliberated for a second before she rolled a joint, lit up and then took a swig from the bottle, falling back down to the floor and waiting for her mind to go blank.

'''''''''''

For the rest of that day, and all of the next she hid out in the treehouse, only returning to the house to use the bathroom, get snacks or sleep. She had taken the battery out of her phone, in hopes that it would placate her from breaking it in half, and had spent the entire two days totally out of her mind, alternating between the drink and the drugs. She hadn't slept, but she had cried almost constantly, overcome by her guilt, her anger and her sorrow.

It was at about 4.30pm on the second day that she heard her own name being yelled, but she was too stoned to care. Puck always did get good stuff. When she heard scraping and swearing, she rolled her head to the side where the ladder entered the treehouse, watched as a dark pony-tail bobbed up over the lip, before the rest of a tanned Latina rose into view. She and Santana weren't friends, unless people around school asked, but Quinn couldn't manage to muster up the energy to care that the girl was there, instead lazily tipping the bottle of Vodka into her mouth and finishing it off.

"Quinn, what the fuck?" the girl exclaimed as she looked at the state of the blond. She was a mess; hadn't showered since before she opened the envelope, fallen into the dirt various times when the overwhelming instinct to pee or snack had sent her down the ladder, and she was covered in cuts and bruises from the both climbing and falling from the tree. The head cheerio didn't answer, or even acknowledge that the girl was there. Santana wasn't impressed. She took the joint that was hanging out of Quinn's mouth, and threw it out of the hole in the floor. That got Quinn's attention. She was on her feet in a second, hands fisted into the front of Santana's uniform threateningly.

"Tell me why I shouldn't throw you down after that joint" she growled. To Rachel, Quinn's behavior would have been horrifically unexpected. For anyone who knew her before Rachel had become part of her life (other than her parents) the reaction wasn't a shock, although it had become less frequent in recent times.

"Because then not only would you be miserable, you'd be in prison too." Quinn grunted and shoved the girl back, dangerously close to the precipice, before rooting around in the gloom for the bag of weed, before discovering that it was also empty. Santana sat down beside her, not saying anything. Quinn rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Look, if you don't _mind_, I'm pretty busy wallowing right now, so, you know…" she made shooing gestures towards the ladder and curled back up under the dirtied blanket she had dragged up with her the second time she went up.

"Well, I hate to interrupt, _your highness_, but you're kind of fucking things up for the rest of us. I knew you weren't sick because you always order us around by text. No one has heard anything from you for two days. Coach Sylvester is breathing fire because you're not there, so we're getting double drills until you come back and she can punish you for putting her schedule for Nationals behind." Quinn grunted in amusement.

"Well, in spite of that delightfully tempting situation, I'd rather sit here and slowly rot in my own filth, thanks." She threw the blanket over her head, but the feisty Latina ripped it off her and, of course, threw it down to the ground. Quinn's teeth clenched, trying to keep a hold of her temper, but she failed and rolled over so she was pinning the brunette down, hands on her shoulders.

"I don't know what the _fuck_ you're doing here, but right now, prison seems like a pretty fucking sweet deal, so unless you tell me what the hell you want, I'd be perfectly happy to kill you." The brunette rolled her eyes and moved to get up, but the blond slammed her back down, causing her head to bounce off the wooden floor.

"Ow! Fuck, Q, that hurt." The girl rubbed the back of her head, but Quinn was un-phased.

"Talk. _Now._"

"Jesus Christ, I already told you! The school's going to hell, Cheerios are dropping like flies, Sue's too distracted because she's angry at you so we're not getting any of our normal privileges, the _hockey _team are trying to overthrow the football team and everyone's waiting for _you_ to come and deal with it because no one else is smart enough or bitchy enough to deal with it." She growled in frustration as she tried to get up again and Quinn kept her pinned. "Look, we need our Head Bitch back. No one can do it like you, not even me." The blond's eyes widened when she heard the Latina's last words, and she sat up, freeing Santana, as she laughed.

"Wow, that must've been painful for you to say." She continued to laugh.

"Actually, no, it wasn't." She said defiantly, causing the captain's eyebrow to raise questioningly and her laughter to die. "I can't do it because I actually care even just a little. I have Britt, I have my hoard of willing men, I have the immunity from slushies that this uniform provides me - immunity that comes from you." said the Latina. "The reason you _can _be the head bitch is because you don't give a shit about anything or anyone else at that school. You hate us all equally, and you don't want anything for yourself, so you're the perfect ruler. If someone came and slushied you, if you didn't have willing minions to exact your revenge, you'd do it yourself, and it'd be worse than anything you told us to do." She stood up, rubbing her head again, noticing that Quinn looked like she was going to throw up.

"Look, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but something's up. You've been…happier lately. You still don't give a fuck but…I don't know, it changed the atmosphere in that place. When you're happy people don't worry about you tearing them a new one for no reason. They don't have to worry that you'll just lash out at _anyone_ just because you're miserable. They like that feeling, so they stay in line, then they don't piss you off and they never have to witness your wrath." Quinn was still sitting on the floor, staring with empty eyes at the entrance to the treehouse.

"I don't know what it was making you happy, but clearly if you're sitting in this cave, not washing and going on a bender something's up." The girl crouched down beside the blond and gently cupped her cheek, pulling her eyes to meet the brown of her own. She slowly dipped her face forward, and pressed her lips softly to Quinn's before shifting back and sighing. Quinn was completely bewildered and just stared at her. It wasn't a kiss of passion or want, it was just…caring. A kiss was the simplest and most painless way for Santana to explain herself.

"Look, Q, I may fucking hate you most of the time and want to steal your captaincy, but…I don't want you to be depressed. I've watched you be miserable for as long as I've known you. I know you don't want to be like that, so go inside, for Christ's sake shower, put on some clean clothes and figure out what you need to do to be happy again. I know that no matter how much you don't give a shit, you don't want anyone to feel like you do, so do what you need to and then come back and fix the chaos for us, OK?"

The girl turned around without waiting for any kind of response, swiftly climbing down the ladder. Quinn watched her as she went, until she passed outside of the line of view from inside the treehouse. She sat back, not knowing what to think, until she looked around at the squalid place she had spent the past two days. She realized she was freezing cold, and a gust of wind made her realize how much she needed a shower. She scooted over to the edge of the opening and climbed down, walked into the house, ignoring her mother's cheery (drunken) greeting, and went to her room, turning on her phone and groaning at the 17 missed calls, 23 new texts and 4 voicemail messages. Her shower lasted ninety minutes. She was proud that she only cried for forty.

''''''''''''

Rachel was going out of her mind with worry. She had tried calling at least ten times in the past two days, but had gone straight through to voicemail every time. The texts she left went unanswered, and every student or member of staff she asked said that Quinn was sick with the 'flu. She had considered calling the Fabray's home, but knew it wouldn't make any difference. If something had happened to Quinn, the school would have already been notified (if her parents had noticed).

She was just so worried that Quinn had let her emotions get the best of her and done something stupid, or had an accident in her car._ God, I'm sorry I ever made her feel this way_ the woman thought to herself as she put all of the papers she needed to grade into her bag and shut off the lights. As she was walking down the corridors of the empty school, she tried again to call the blond. She left a voicemail.

"Hi, it's me. Look, I don't know what's going on, and I'm sorry I was so harsh. I know you're angry but please let me know you're OK. If I meant something to you, you could at least give me that. I-" She started tearing up, but tried to hold it in. "I love you Q-"

"Ah, so that's what the bad news was." Rachel almost had a heart attack as she heard Will Schuster's voice break the silence of the corridors. She had almost said Quinn, and considering how uncommon the name was, it would at least have caused some suspicions.

"What?" She managed to choke out. Her voice cracked a little and she closed her eyes in admonition. Will smiled his pervy smile.

"The bad news you were talking about yesterday. It's a breakup?" Rachel sorely wished she could just evaporate on the spot.

"Yes, I…I suppose it is." Her lip trembled a little as she tried not to think about anything that had happened with Quinn.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked, trying and failing to be smooth.

"Not really, Will" Rachel said brusquely. He nodded infuriatingly.

"OK, well, can I take you for a drink, try to distract you?" She rolled her eyes, willing herself to not get angry.

"Look Will, I just am not interested. Please, I just want to…"

"That's OK," the curly-haired man said, looking only slightly put out. "I'll take you for a friendly drink, as a distraction." Rachel really just wanted to go home, but the man was proving impossible to get rid of. Plus a drink sounded really good.

"OK, Will, we can go for _one FRIENDLY _drink, and then I will go home, alone and there will be no follow up expected." He nodded cheesily.

"Of course, I'm not interested in getting in your pants Rachel, I just see that you need a friend right now." She had to actually try not to gag.

"Mhmm, sure Will. Let's just… get this over with."

Rachel followed him in her car. They drove to a bar about half way to Rachel's place, got one drink each, and sat making awkward conversation for about thirty minutes before Will clumsily put his hand on her thigh and she slapped him and walked back to her car. She wasn't even surprised really, he wasn't exactly subtle, but she just really didn't need it, and he had promised that they were just there to talk. She sighed to herself as she looked at the clock. _6.30_. It had officially been 36 hours and she hadn't heard a word from Quinn. She drove home on autopilot, trying to ignore the sick, panicky feeling dwelling in her stomach.

When she got home and trudged tiredly up the steps to her home, the one thing she was _not _expecting, but very much hoping to see, was Quinn slumped down on the floor, knees bent and head resting on them. Relief flooded through her, followed by fear, sadness, anger and finally a cold feeling that she couldn't quite place. She got to the top of the steps, and unlocked her door, not saying a word to Quinn, who seemed to be asleep. She was past the threshold and closing the door again when Quinn's hand shot out and stopped it from closing all the way. She looked up at Rachel pleadingly from the floor, and Rachel turned around, leaving the door open and walking away. Quinn struggled to her feet, stiff from a combination of the cold, lack of sleep and bad coordination because of the alcohol and the THC. She pushed the door closed behind her, resting her back against it and meeting Rachel's eyes from where she stood by the table. They were both watery.

Crossing the room, Quinn stood in front of Rachel, slowly reaching to take her left hand, almost passing out with joy when Rachel let her. The blond swallowed down everything she wanted to say, and whispered a two words.

"I'm sorry." With that, her walls crumbled, and the tears broke free of her control, streaming silently down her face. Rachel didn't move to comfort her, which was heart-breaking, but she didn't take her hand back either although her face was stoney. The woman simply broke the eye contact, tugged Quinn's hand and pulled her through the room, down the corridor, into her bedroom. She stood with her back to the bed, facing Quinn, and stripped off all her clothes until she was completely exposed to the girl. The tears on her face mirrored Quinn's as she stood waiting for Quinn to move.

Seeing Rachel there, so exposed, so willing to do anything to make Quinn feel better about herself made Quinn cry harder. She felt ill because the woman was willing to be an object for Quinn to vent her frustrations on and nothing more. She felt even more ill because she felt guilty; Quinn wanted it from her. Within seconds the tears stopped flowing, her chest was heaving with the frustration and anger she felt and she surged forward, crushing Rachel's cushion-soft lips in a cruel kiss. She bit, and bruised, and Rachel didn't react at all. Quinn knew she should stop, but she didn't want to, she couldn't. She bit down on the woman's lip before ravaging her neck, leaving marks on her collar bone, bruising the woman's breasts with her fingertips, tearing down her back with her fingernails.

Rachel just stood there and weathered the storm of Quinn's torment, not reciprocating at all, showing Quinn that she was giving up her free will for her. She hoped the girl felt at least a little guilty. She wondered if Quinn even cared. After a few minutes Quinn pushed her back and threw her hard into the middle of the bed. Rachel just let it happen, and re-organized her limbs as she settled, spreading her legs. Quinn was panting like a wild animal, the normal sparkle Rachel saw in her eyes was clouded over by something frightening, but she still didn't try to run from it. Quinn tore off her dark grey t-shirt, revealing she wasn't wearing anything underneath, and crawled predatorily over the woman who loved her, biting everything in her path. The girl lowered her hips between Rachel's spread legs, and the woman felt her arousal hard inside the tight jeans she was wearing. Quinn ground hard into the woman's sex, the rough material causing more discomfort than pleasure, but she didn't stop her. Quinn bit hard into her earlobe and the woman finally cried out in pain. The noise seemed to clear a little bit of the haze in Quinn's eyes. She rushed backwards, almost tripping over herself, until she was standing at the foot of the bed, chest heaving wildly. Rachel was confused.

"What are you doing?" The blond didn't reply. Rachel leaned forward, scooted to the end of the bed and stood in front of her. "C'mon Quinn, take me." Quinn didn't say a word, so Rachel slid her hand down Quinn's torso slowly, until she reached her crotch, and squeezed hard. The blond gasped hard, and Rachel saw her eyes unfocus. She let her grip go, and rubbed softly, but Quinn still wasn't moving. Rachel's jaw clenched. "**God dammit Quinn, I said TAKE. ME!**" the woman yelled in her face. The blond still didn't move, frozen by her guilt. Rachel sneered a laugh at her. "Oh, _now_ you need some persuasion? How about this?"

Within a second Quinn's jeans were around her ankles, and Rachel had wrapped her bruised lips around the girl's straining cock, hands painfully hard around the girl's hips. Quinn gasped and fisted both hands in Rachel's hair, too tight to not be painful. Rachel didn't have much experience with blowing guys, but she had never been shy about sex, so role-playing with strapons was a common occurrence with her girlfriends, and she was no stranger to porn, so she made her best effort. She bobbed back and forward a few times, scraping her teeth lightly down Quinn's length before taking the whole thing.

"Oh holy fuck" the blond girl ground out. Rachel smirked around her mouthful and laughed, the vibrations heading straight to the blond's throbbing dick. She ripped Rachel's head back and none too gently pulled her up to her full height by the hair before throwing her back on the bed again. Quinn had her head thrown back and stroked herself a couple of times, regaining her composure, when she heard a drawer open. Next thing she knew Rachel was throwing something at her. It hit her on the chest, and she caught it there with her open hand. Her brow quirked.

"A condom? I thought you were a gold star dyke? Now, what, you're slutting it up with some dude behind my back?" She spat, before ripping the package open with her teeth. Removed the silicon from the wrapper and slid it over herself (just like she had read on the instructions from the package she had stolen at a party).

Rachel's lower jaw jutted proudly and her lip curled.

"I bought them at Christmas, dumbass. Couldn't go getting Chlamydia from some school kid now, could I?" Quinn looked at Rachel with hard eyes before stepping up onto the bed, standing over the woman who had her legs spread wide. She stroked herself a few times.

"Well, at least you're good for something." she muttered. Rachel's eyes screwed shut and her lip shook at the guilt she felt for getting the girl's hopes up. She didn't make a sound as Quinn knelt, and slipped two fingers inside her without preamble, stretching her a little and spreading the (abundant, she was ashamed to admit) wetness over her pulsing cock, before slipping herself inside Rachel. They both inhaled sharply as she moved deeper, and when she got as far as she could, Rachel opened her eyes to see Quinn's tear-filled hazel, projecting her heartbreak, her sorrow, her regret, and her _love_ deep into Rachel's soul.

"Oh _fuck_" the woman whispered as she wrapped her arms and legs around Quinn's shaking body. She felt it jolt through her as she reached up, wiped the tears falling onto her face from Quinn's cheeks as she squeezed them close, and pulled her down into a loving kiss, holding tight as Quinn thrust into her.

"Rachel" the girl whimpered into her ear,

"I know baby, I-_ah!_-I know. Oh _god!_" They clung to each other tight as they each surged together, bodies intertwined.

Quinn slowly sped up and Rachel moved with her, unable to hold back from each other, panting hard.

"Rachel I'm - I-" Rachel knew that Quinn wouldn't last, how could she expect anything else from the girl's first time? But what she wasn't expecting was that she would be just as close to losing it.

"Oh god baby, I love you. I love you so much." She panted as Quinn slid her hand down in between them and slipped across her clit. "I'm close baby, I-" She lost her breath for a second as Quinn began pumping faster than she thought possible. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was panting hard. All of a sudden Rachel was hit with an overwhelming urge to see Quinn's eyes as she came.

"Baby, open your eyes. Open them for me, please!" Her back began to arch as she felt herself letting go, but she held on.

Suddenly, Quinn's eyes burst open, and to Rachel it was as beautiful as staring into the sun. It was as if time was frozen between them. Quinn leaned down to Rachel's ear and whispered "I'll love you forever Rachel." With that Rachel's entire body tensed and she felt like she understood what it meant when people said their soul was on fire. Her back arched hard and she surged up towards Quinn's body as the girl shuddered above her and they called each other's names.

'''''''''''''

A couple of hours later, Rachel woke up from her delirium and turned around to where she felt Quinn resting behind her. She couldn't remember anything after cumming harder than she ever had before. It was intense, and she knew she would never feel like that with anyone else.

Wanted to watch Quinn peacefully sleep, but when she rolled over, the girl was wide awake, tears falling from her eyes. Rachel didn't say anything, instead wrapping her arms around the girl's shaking shoulder's and shushing her.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry Rachel."

_**OK, so i hope that was up to scratch. I know, there's a lot of stuff going on, i just hope it had some redeeming qualities. Not my best work i have to admit.**_

**_Next week i'll probably be back to the Sunday schedule, so i might add in a quickie this sunday._**

**_Please keep questions/comments coming!_**

**_Until next time ;)  
_**


	22. Chapter 22

**_Hi everyone_**

**_So i know it's been wayyy too long. I'm really sorry. This chap is kinda short too, but i have a month vaccation now, so i should update a little more than usual._**

**_Stayed up all night writing this for you, so it might be totally ridiculous, but i had to get something up because it's been so long. The first part is a little weird and gross, i know. Sorry, CBA to change it.  
_**

**_Thank you all for being so vocal, both with your comments and asking why i didn't post (Kyle ~_~...lol, JK). At least i know you're actually interested! (but i feel a bit bad :( )_**

**_I'm gonna try to start using my JL so i can give you guys updates if something like this happens. It's _**.com/, **but i'll update on first and foremost so you can just go there to check if i have to skip a couple of weeks to stage my coup or something...**

**Sorry for being so rubbish (I'm feeling very British RN), but i hope this at least tides you over for the moment while i write something decent.**

**Enjoy :)**

**(Note: i edited the last couple of paragraphs after posting, so if you're re-reading, it's slightly different.)**

Chapter 22

They stayed holed up in Rachel's bedroom for the next few days, barely talking, barely even moving from the bed. Rachel called in sick from the school, and Quinn's parents hadn't even noticed that she had been living in a treehouse for two days, so neither woman cared about making some excuse for them.

They were each dealing with guilt; Quinn for using Rachel so harshly just to try and forget her upset, and Rachel for building Quinn's hopes up and unwittingly opening her up to crushing heartbreak when she was already so fragile. The night they spent together had changed something though; the intention was to fuck the pain away, but it became so emotional that they had both broken down. _Even when we're at our worst, we can't deny the depth of our feelings _Rachel thought as she rolled off the bed to go to the shower, knowing that Quinn would be scant seconds behind her. Even though they hadn't talked, neither could bare to leave the other's side for a moment; both were in such highly emotional states that they just needed that contact, even though they couldn't describe what it was or why. When Quinn went to get a drink, Rachel followed, holding a hand, caressing a cheek, trying to keep any contact that they could. When Rachel rolled to the other side of the bed, Quinn rolled with her and fitted their bodies back together again. If Quinn went to the door to collect the food that they had ordered from the one place they discovered delivered (and that had a _very_ limited choice for a vegan) Rachel stood back so that she could open the door, but the space between them was less than two inches and as soon as the food was over the threshold, they were touching again.

Rachel felt like she had been swallowed up by some kind of insanity; they made it five days before her fathers threatened to call the police on the twenty third voicemail that they had left, but she still had no desire to talk to anyone else, so she texted them rather than actually calling them. Quinn had a message from every single girl on the Cheerios begging her to come back, and she ignored all of them. They hadn't said more than ten words at a time for days. The only way that they had been communicating was physically, namely through sex.

The doors that led out to the garden had been open for a few days thanks to some surprisingly warm weather, but Rachel still wondered if she'd ever get the smell of sex out of the room. They changed the sheets daily, and they showered at least once every twelve hours. It was disgusting and they both knew it, but they just couldn't stop themselves.

She started the water running and got under the stream, wasting no time in lathering her hair and then her body before being turned so her back was to the wall of the shower and Quinn was on her knees with a leg over her shoulder, fingers slipping into her tight passage. She remembered when they were in New York and Quinn had been teasing her; it seemed that she had held true to her promise as she screamed and wailed the girl's name, in conjunction with anything else her mind could form.

"Oh fuck!"

"Jesus Baby!"

"Harder. Please, harder"

"Make me cum, come on, please!"

"God, yeah there, show me how much you love me, I need it baby, I need you."

''''''''''''

Quinn exhaustedly rolled off the beautiful brunette woman, breathing heavily, sticking to the sheets with sweat. She peeled off the condom she was wearing and, still in a totally reckless state of mind, threw it away from the bed with no care where it landed. It was only seconds before Rachel recovered and slid down between toned thighs, sucking Quinn's throbbing red and painfully sensitive dick until it was hard again, then twisting around to straddle her face.

"Shit, Rachel, you're going to fucking kill me" she ground out, before moving her lips back to Rachel's dripping sex, evidently not caring about her impending death. She felt her climax building so quickly she would've been embarrassed if it wasn't for the fact that Rachel was already shuddering into her mouth, wailing around her mouthful and swallowing repeatedly as the blond came in her mouth. She felt Rachel collapse onto her as she rapidly lost consciousness, although with a fleeting fit of mental clarity, she thought _what day is it?_ as her eyes rolled back and she lost sight of the evening light filtering through the door.

'''''''''''''

When she finally regained consciousness, the first thought Rachel had was _we need to stop_. She shifted away from the blond, knowing that Quinn would be too exhausted to wake up from her movements. The brunette didn't leave the room, however, she turned herself so she was at ninety degrees to the girl and rested her head on Quinn's chest, above her heart, listening the rhythmic thump and staring at her face as she breathed gently. Hearing the steady beat was reassuring somehow. Rachel caressed any skin she could reach, content to wait patiently until Quinn's eyes opened. It was almost two hours later that the blond finally stirred, her breathing changing pace and her eyes fluttering open.

She could tell that Rachel was awake, and that something had changed. The atmosphere was different, somehow; lighter. She lifted her head and met Rachel's eyes by instinct. For almost the first time in days they were clear, unclouded by lust, or anger, or some combination of the two. The only other time Quinn had witnessed that kind of clarity since she had been there was as she stared into the woman's eyes as she climaxed.

Quinn swallowed thickly, waiting for Rachel to speak.

"I think I'm going to have a bath." Quinn nodded, catching the brunette's hand where it was caressing her cheek and kissing it before letting go as Rachel got up. Rachel didn't react to the intimate gesture, just continued on her way. Quinn rolled her head to the side and watched Rachel walk into the bathroom before standing up herself. Her legs felt week, but she persevered. She stripped the sheets from the bed, as well as any clothes she could find around the room and padded into the kitchen to drop them in the washer. Making her way back, she grabbed clean sheets from the cupboard in the corridor, then re-made the bed. As she finished her work, she turned around and caught sight of herself in the mirror, and was shocked. She looked as if she had lost weight, her eyes had dark rings around them, her hair was lank and lifeless and she was pale. She bit her lip for a moment before deciding that she needed a shower. She approached the bathroom door, and caught sight of Rachel stepping into the bath. As far as Quinn could see, she was still perfection personified, but the blond figured that was to be expected. She slowly opened the door and cleared her throat, alerting Rachel to her presence.

"I'm…just going to have a shower…" the girl mumbled, looking at the floor and gesturing meekly over to the shower. She looked up at the woman for a moment, and was gratified to see her lips curve in what some might consider a smile. Quinn clenched her jaw and nodded, trying not to get her hopes up that the gesture might be a sign that things would get back to normal.

She washed herself as thoroughly as she could, shampooing twice, conditioning scrubbing her skin hard. It wasn't that she wanted to get rid of anything (in fact, a tiny part of her was proud of her activity over the past few days, she was still a teenager after all) but she felt like some weird part of her was telling her that this was the point that she needed to start fresh. So she made sure every inch of herself was clean, and noticed as she did that her monthly visitor had taken its leave. Rachel was still in the bath when Quinn turned the water off, and looked like she had no intention of getting out, so the blond walked across the room, wrapped herself in a towel, brushed using one of the million spares that she found Rachel kept in the house at any one time, then went back to the bedroom, carefully moisturising.

Seeing Rachel's silk robe, which had remained unused over their vacation from the world, hanging from the door of the walk-in, she was filled with the urge to put it on. It was something so personal to Rachel, and the idea of being wrapped in Rachel appealed to her. She slipped it on, enjoying the fact that it smelled like the woman, and then, making a calculated decision, went back into the bathroom and wordlessly sat on the floor next to the bathtub.

After about five silent minutes, Rachel's whisper broke the silence.

"Baby, I'm so-"

"No" Quinn cut her off, but not unkindly, just quietly. "don't you dare apologise to me." Rachel pressed her quivering lips together, but let Quinn talk.

"I…I don't even know what I can say to fix this-this mess that I've made. I got one piece of bad news, and I just…" She swallowed hard, not sure if it was the lump in her throat or if she was about to vomit because her guilt made her feel so sick. "I hate myself so much right now." She choked down a sob, and turned away from the woman who she had wronged so badly. She felt a damp hand, warm and comforting on her back, and let Rachel sooth her.

"Talk" the brunette ordered. She was almost completely aware of what Quinn had said and done, and why, but the girl would never just let it lie, she needed to get it out.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Rachel slid herself up to the end of the bath and got up, stepping out in front of Quinn. She took the girl's hands and pulled her upwards, first pulling her into a loose but comforting embrace, and then letting her hands slip to the tie of the robe. She slipped it off the blond's shoulders then stepped back into the bath, pulling Quinn in behind her by the hand. Rachel sat right up against the end of the bath with her knees bent, and encouraged Quinn to sit in between her legs and recline back into her. As Quinn slipped into the warm water and the sweet grasp of Rachel's arms, the tension left her body and her eyes closed. She allowed the calm to linger for a moment before she began to speak.

"It's the only thing I can ever remember wanting. In my life. We're supposed to want things, you know?" The girl asked rhetorically. "I mean, I wanted, I want you, but that's not the kind of thing I mean. You, you're like a need, I can't live without you now. But I wanted Juilliard so bad, I wanted to find out what that place was like, what being part of it was like. I want the things that it could lead me to" Rachel nodded, pressing her lips against the side of Quinn's neck and tightening her grip, but not doing anything else except listening.

"I guess it was…a dream. An aspiration. Like when you're in third grade and they ask you what your dream is. I never really had one until then, I didn't let myself hope, so everything was just kind of blank. And then it was just…it was _so close_. I could taste it." She was silent for a few moments before beginning again. "I think that before, maybe part of me always stopped myself before I thought about stuff like hopes and dreams. With my parents, my life, I figured it would never happen. Then you came along and thing's were just so much more" she paused, searching for the right word. "Possible. I felt like I could do anything with your help." Rachel felt honoured, and then awkward, like she was offending Quinn by being so close, but the girl was still holding on to her hands, so she decided to just allow her to get to wherever she was going. "When…when I found out I had gotten so close, only to fail, it was some of the worst pain I've ever felt. Because I let it in. I believed you when you said I could do it and I let myself get excited and when it didn't happen I felt…_betrayed._ Like when you find out for the first time that your parents don't know everything or aren't always right or something." Rachel could feel Quinn shaking a little, but she still didn't move. "When I found out that I failed, part of me felt like you…like you betrayed me. You made me feel so safe, and then you just tore me apart." Rachel was about to say something to that, but Quinn cut her off. "I know. I know you would never ever hurt me on purpose. And it wasn't even really you that hurt me." She sighed. "I'm just not good with getting hurt. I haven't been in the position where I could get hurt like that for a long time. I made sure of it." The blond held up Rachel's hand to her mouth and kissed it gently. "I was angry at myself, and angry for letting you in, and I took it out on you. And that's the one thing I _NEVER_ wanted to do. Because you are the best, maybe the only, good thing to happen in my life.

I worked so hard to make myself numb, for years. Because of that, I didn't feel the hurt of my parents being _so shitty._ I didn't feel the hurt of not having friends, or of thinking that I would never be loved. And then you came along, and I felt again, and it wasn't being numb that protected me from the hurt, it was knowing that there was someone out there who loved me. And then this…" Quinn's voice cracked as she held in a sob. "Please say you think we can work through this. Please say you think I can earn your forgiveness. I was _so cruel_. I was…I was my parents, so full of hate. And then I just…I…"

Rachel moved her hands up from the girl's waist to stroke her hair, and pressed soft kisses to her cheek.

"It's OK, baby. Being in a relationship is about being what the person you loves needs. You needed someone to take it out on, someone to make you forget." Quinn sobbed.

"But I-"Before the girl had the chance to beat herself up again, Rachel covered her mouth with a hand and shushed softly into the girl's ear.

"This is not going to break us, OK?" She waited for Quinn to nod against her hand before letting go. "We're going to deal with this like we would anything else: together, and with time." Quinn sighed and Rachel felt her body relax again.

"Do you still trust me?" she asked quietly. Rachel opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she felt able to respond.

"I…I trust you Quinn, but…" Quinn held her breath as she waited. "I don't want to say this, but I have to. I'm disappointed." Quinn felt herself tear up.

"In me?" She asked, quietly desperate.

"Partly. And partly with myself. I knew that with everything, your parents, school, you weren't exactly the most trusting individual, but I had hoped I was helping with that a little. I hoped that even if you were upset you wouldn't have thought that I could cause you hurt like that, even if it was an irrational thought. So I guess, I'm disappointed that you needed comfort from me like _that_, instead of being able to let me take care of you, and I'm disappointed in myself because I haven't shown you that you can be weak because I'll take care of you. You still only share half of yourself with me sometimes, and we can't work if it's like that, so I need to work on helping you feel comfortable, and so do you."

Quinn nodded slowly, dejectedly, thinking that she had ruined everything.

"Baby, I love you. I will always love you, but we need to change. I need to help you, and you need to help me do that. We always said we'd be honest, right?" The blond nodded. "So we need to figure out a way to step away from ourselves and be objective, so we can talk to each other." The girl sighed and sat up, turning until she was facing the woman she loved.

"After I left the school, I went home and hid out in my treehouse. I haven't been in there since I was sixteen." Rachel nodded, deciding that she would just try her best to stay neutral.

"While I was in there I found Puck's old stash. There was almost a litre of Vodka and an eighth of weed. I finished both of them in a little under two days." Rachel tried her best to be unreactive to the news, swallowing down the lecture. She saw Quinn take a deep breath and continue.

"When I was up there Santana Lopez came to talk to me. She told me that the school hierarchy was in chaos because I wasn't there to run things, and that no-one else could do it instead because no-one else was numb enough to be the head bitch like I am. She said everyone else has something to worry about, but I just act like I don't care about anything. Then she kissed me, and said she knew I was unhappy even if no one else saw it, and she also knew I didn't want anyone to feel the pain I feel." There were tears mingling with the bathwater now, but Rachel resisted doing anything about it. It felt like they had created a neutral space where things could be said and not have immediate consequences, it was a confessional of sorts, and there was an atmosphere that any reaction, either positive or negative, was unwelcome.

"She was right. But she said that the school had been happier recently because I was happier, and that I needed to find a way to get that back. I was happy because of you. I don't like being numb any more. I want the happiness again. I want you again. Is that OK?" Quinn's final question sounded like she was a frightened two year old. Rachel, tears streaming freely down her face, nodded forlornly and leaned forwards, taking the girl in her arms.

'''''''''''''''

They were back in bed again, but they were fully clothed this time, lying with at least an inch between them, although their hands were clasped together and their gaze hadn't parted since they got there.

"I miss it being easy." Rachel sighed, scratching her nose by extending her index finger from where her fists were grasped around Quinn's tightly in front of her chin. Quinn laughed.

"Easy? When was that? Pretty sure that never happened. Have you been taking cold meds again?" She giggled and Rachel rolled her eyes and swatted her hands. It was good to laugh together, they both felt like they needed it. There was silence for a moment.

"So, seeing as you were honest with me about everything over the days you went missing…_including_ kissing Santana-"

"Uh, _she _kissed _me,_ I played no part in it! And you swore you wouldn't do anything to get back at her. No random detentions, yes?" Quinn lectured.

"Yes…well, seeing as you were honest, I feel like I should tell you;" Quinn raised her eyebrow in expectation, then relaxed it, trying to remain neutral. "I was depressed, so I allowed Will Schuster to take me for a drink. After having him _promise_ me that he wouldn't try anything, he…" She sighed "he tried to feel me up." Rachel watched, bemused, as Quinn got up from the bed and crossed the room. "Where are you going?" Quinn was calm as she turned back to Rachel.

"I'm going to kill him. Where else would I be going?" The brunette prepared to laugh, before realizing that the girl was at least partially serious when she turned again to leave. The woman rolled her eyes.

"Get back here!" she yelled frowning. Quinn turned, regarded the brunette for a moment and finally dropped her shoulders dejectedly as she returned. Rachel bit back a giggle as Quinn groaned and flopped down on the bed again.

"Fine. Can I at least be rude to him?"

"As long as you don't mind the detention time taking away from your time with me." Quinn's brow twisted at those words.

"Time with you? So we're just going to bite the bullet and try and avoid anyone finding out until graduation?" The brunette frowned in contemplation.

"Hmm, I forgot about that. I...I don't think we should lose contact again. I feel like not talking makes things worse, and phone calls and texts really aren't a good form of communication. But... maybe we should wait to be physical again…maybe?" Quinn looked wholly unimpressed with the idea for a moment, but then her mouth twitched in acquiescence and she nodded slowly.

"Are there going to be rules again?" she asked with a little attitude in her tone.

"I don't think we should, do you? It clearly didn't work out last time, so I think we just need to play it by ear." Another nod. "But," Rachel began with finality, "we _do _need to figure out this thing with school." Quinn's brow quirked.

"What about it? What thing?"

"We've both been uncharacteristically absent during the same period of time. So you need to go back, and I need to spend at least one day that you're there at home. No one's heard from you in a week, and me in five days. It just seems suspicious."

"So I have to go back without you?" Quinn pouted, playing with a button on the front of Rachel's blouse.

"'Fraid so sweetheart." The blond grunted.

"Fine, but you _so_ owe me dinner." Rachel laughed lightly and rolled her eyes.

"Agreed. And now, the final thing. You _have _to go home. As much as I adore you being here, if your parents have noticed that you're not there, you're _screwed_."

Quinn solemnly agreed and they exchanged goodbyes and held each other tight for a few minutes. She drove home, finding that her parents hadn't, in fact, noticed that she hadn't been home for five days. She started to feel her anger and pain building her walls back up, so she reminded herself that that fact didn't mean no-one loved her, it meant that she needed to make sure she didn't alienate the people who did. The first thing she did was make herself an epic meat and cheese sandwich (_seriously, how do vegans do it?_) and then she got into bed, not waking until it was time for school the next day.

''''''''''''''''''''

They weathered the next few weeks one day at a time, finding excuses here and there to talk, making an effort to discuss the events of the day and their feelings. Quinn tried to make a point of telling Rachel when she was hurting, even just the everyday hurt like what her parents made her feel, instead of hiding it from her, and in all honesty it seemed to her that it _was _getting better (not the relationship, that was just getting back to the amazing that it had been before, rather she felt that _she_ was getting better, and was both grateful to Rachel and proud of herself.)

On Rachel's insistence, she had made the trip to the localized auditions that UCLA and Columbia held (only Juilliard considered themselves important enough to not need to allow people auditions in other locations) and felt fairly positive about them both. She also went to OSU, although she was determined that she would get into one of the other two. What she didn't realize, however, was that Rachel had been scheming behind her back.

The teacher hadn't been lying when she'd said that she had plenty of money; traveling around the world, and buying her apartment and car had put an extremely hefty dent in her savings, but she still had a tidy sum left over. It wasn't enough to pay all of what was left after the scholarship that Quinn had won, but it would pay a lot of it. Rachel had been in touch with a friend who was an accountant over the previous weeks, trying to figure out what it would take, whether or not they could make it work, make Quinn's dream reachable. She had received a letter from him very quickly, and after tearing it open excitedly and reading it, she couldn't help but text Quinn and ask her to meet so she could break the good news, her excitement almost too much to bare.

''''''''''''''

It was a Thursday morning when Quinn got Rachel's message. She has just gotten out of the shower when she noticed the screen of her phone was illuminated. For the past couple of weeks, Rachel would text her every once in a while so they could meet up and talk before school started. She would make herself breakfast to go and they would spend half an hour or so just chatting aimlessly in Rachel's office. Quinn took a look at the message _Hey, I need to see you ASAP. Can you come to school early?_ She sent her affirmative before quickly dressing, grabbing a banana and jumping in the car, forcing herself to obey the speed limit.

When she arrived at Rachel's door, she tapped lightly on the frame before taking a seat across the desk and smiling. Rachel looked nervous in front of her.

"Morning baby" Quinn smiled adoringly.

"Morning" Rachel replied softly. There was silence for a second before Rachel slid an opened envelope over the table. It was official looking, and Quinn regarded Rachel questioningly before taking the paper and opening it to read the letter. As she read on, Rachel could see her eyes widening more and more.

"Is this…for real?" She asked wide-eyed, staring at the woman she loved. The brunette nodded back to the girl slowly, staring at the paper that had 'Lima Memorial Hospital' emblazoned in the corner.

"You're pregnant?"

**'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''**

_**BOOM! You didn't see that coming, did you? (OK, i know, you totally did, but it needed to happen.)**_

**_Again, sorry for taking so long. Feel free to gripe on a review. And i'll try and post again by like Thursday._**

**_Thanks for sticking with the story, i'm amazed at how many people were asking about it._**

**_Until next time (Which will be soon, i SWEAR) ;)  
_**


	23. Chapter 23

_**Hey guys.**_

**_I know it's been way too long, and i'm really sorry. My head's been a mess lately, and i haven't really been able to do much of anything, so writing was kind of at the bottom of the list.  
_**

**_I'm going to stop promising you times for new updates, not because they'll be happening less frequently (how could it be less frequent than 'never'?), but because i'm clearly AWFUL at keeping my promises._**

**_Anyhoo, here's the fallout from the reveal. I noticed that the more angsty something is, the crappier my writing is, so i'm trying to find ways around that, but that means that this is pretty fluffy as far as student/teacher pregnancies go._**

**_Shoutout to Dare121 who is my smut/G!P idol, and who gave me my 500th review. You're a living legend, and you helped me discover my G!P kink, so you in part inspired this fic._**

**_Enjoy :)_**

**Chapter 23**

Quinn's eyes were wide and unfocused, and had been that way for a good two minutes. She hadn't said a word, but was still clutching the envelope and the letter in her pale hands. Rachel was beginning to worry about her; she was deathly white and barely breathing.

"Quinn?" She whimpered softly, eyes wide, imploring the girl to look at her. "Quinn, sweetheart?" Rachel's lips were trembling a little.

"Pregnant." the blond choked out, still unseeing, eyes tearing up. "As in, missed period, morning sickness, mood swings, craving fries with chocolate sauce, resulting in an infant, _pregnant_?" Her eyes finally flicked around to meet Rachel's. _Well, at least I know she isn't having a stroke now_ thought the brunette humourlessly as the girl in front of her word-vomited. The teacher closed her eyes, bit her lip, and gave the slightest of nods.

"Oh fuck." the blond whimpered as she stood. "Oh _fuck!_" She clutched her head with her hands covering her eyes and began pacing slowly and silently, clearly not knowing what to do, or what to say to the woman who was still sitting quietly at the desk . She was trying to walk off the feeling of nausea, hoping not to throw up in the Rachel's presence, and hoping that if she felt like she was being active, her brain would think of _any_ way that the situation was salvageable…

Rachel just sat and watched her pace. She would have got up to comfort the blond, but in truth, she had no idea what to do either and was just as worried, although not panicking quite as much. Having the various responsibilities of an adult, insurance, taxes, a job, meant that the situation was less unfathomable to Rachel, although still as worrying.

A few more minutes passed by before the blond sat down in front of Rachel again, and when she did, it was clear that she had been crying behind her hands as she paced, her eyes red, her cheeks wet, and her chin trembling.

"How long have you known?" she rasped. "Th-the letter is to schedule an ul-ultrasound, so you must've already been for tests. How long have you known?" She raised her eyes to steadily meet Rachel's, and the woman was glad to see, along with the intense fear that was still present, the love that she had learned to find in the girl's eyes. It was still there, as usual, and it gave her a little faith that even in the worst case scenario, Quinn wouldn't run. She took a deep breath and explained.

"I got suspicious last weekend and took a home test. It…I didn't want to say something to you and then find out it was false, so I booked a doctor's appointment and went on Tuesday. The letter came through this morning." Quinn let out a noise that was somewhere between a shaky sob and a panicked breath, putting her hands on the table and staring at them, trying to keep her breathing even.

''''''''''''''''''

_**The Weekend Before…**_

Rachel pulled out her phone to call Quinn so they could meet up and she could give her the good news, but as she did, nausea that had been present all day reached a new strength. She dropped her phone on her bed and ran for the bathroom, bowing over the porcelain and emptying her stomach, eventually dropping to the floor with a sigh and leaning her head back against the wall.

She had thought that the slightly queasy feeling that had been present all day was a result of being ill the couple of days before and whatever bug she'd got was still hanging on, but doubt began to creep into her mind now. She didn't have any other symptoms, and she hadn't eaten anything to make her sick over the past few days. Her insides knotted a little with some subconscious worry that was worming its way to the fore of her mind, but she swiftly forgot about it as her stomach convulsed again, and leaned back over the toilet.

When she finally felt safe to get up again, she cleaned herself up, rinsed with mouthwash, dragged herself back to bed and curled up on her side, passing out straight away because she was exhausted from vomiting. She woke up a few hours later and looked at the clock, and then at her phone, smiling a little at a message from the blond who had shamelessly stolen her heart, who was griping about how much her parents sucked, and gushing about how much she loved her.

Rachel sighed and snuggled back further into her bed sheets, thinking about how great everything had been with them during the four and a half weeks since everything had gone crazy. Quinn was really making an effort to talk to her, Rachel was doing her best to be honest and reassure her, and the teacher was hoping that things would still work out with Juilliard. She settled down to bask in her happy glow for a few minutes, but the tight knot in her insides began making its presence felt again. She was about to slowly get out of bed and walk to the bathroom, just in case, when the realization struck that she wasn't feeling physically _sick_, as she had before, but more of the kind of stomach-knotting nervous that people felt before an exam or competition. Eyes still closed, her brow furrowed against the unwelcome feeling as she lay in bed. She tried to follow her previous thought process and figure out why her subconscious was behaving so oddly, until all of a sudden, there it was. The realization.

It had been a month, a month since she and Quinn had been together, a month undisturbed. Before that it had been three weeks since she'd had a period. She had gone through puberty fairly early and had always been regular, so missing a period like this was not something that often happened to her. Still, she would've dismissed it as nothing on any other day. Any other day that wasn't approximately four weeks after she'd had a sex marathon with her penis-wielding girlfriend. Any other day when she was just an average lesbian with nothing to cause her to get upset over one measly missed period.

Her eyes snapped open, and she sat up in bed.

"Oh…_no_."

She got up right away, going to the front door, shoving the letter from her accountant out of the way hastily so she could find her keys, and drove out to get a pregnancy test from the store, and came back with three different ones, taking them all at intervals that night, all with the same crushingly positive result.

Throwing the final one in the trash, she swiped her phone from the edge of the sink and hesitated for a moment before dialing the number for her doctor. She booked an appointment, forgetting all about calling Quinn with good news about how they could manage in between them to make the girl's dream come true, instead worrying about how the hell she was going to manage a baby (_maybe alone?_) on her income, even _with_ all she had saved.

'''''''''''''''

**Present…**

Rachel breathed slowly.

"I…figured I should tell you as soon as I could. I just wanted to be sure before I…" Rachel tailed off unable to complete the sentence because the only words that would come to mind were 'fuck your life up'. Quinn nodded her head in comprehension anyway. She looked like she was about to be sick, but Rachel really couldn't offer any kind of comforting words.

There was silence for almost ten minutes, neither even realizing that they should think of something to say. Quinn had her hands flat on the seat underneath her thighs, her head dipped down below her shoulders, staring at the floor. Rachel was leaning forward so her desk was against her chest, facing down to the surface of it with her eyes closed. They heard the building coming to life around them, more and more kids and teachers arriving for school, laughing, talking and going about their simple lives, but Rachel's office continued to be a bubble of quiet that surrounded them.

Eventually, footsteps broke their meditation. Rachel looked to the doorway to see Will Schuster, hand poised next to the doorway to knock, but frozen in place with a look of confusion marring his features.

"Uh…Rac-Miss Berry? Can I talk to you for a mo-" Quinn cut in before he could finish.

"Get lost Schuster. In case you can't tell, I was here first." She gritted her teeth and glowered at him menacingly. It took the man a moment to recover his nerve enough to try and reprimand the girl, but Rachel's quiet "Quinn" and shake of her head caused the blond to rearrange her features before he could say anything. Rachel got up and walked over to the Spanish teacher, standing impatiently next to him while Quinn glowered over Rachel's shoulder.

"Wha'dyou want, Will?" She sighed disinterestedly.

"Uh…well, I know it's been a little while since... but I thought I should apolo-". Rachel cut him off.

"I don't want your apology Will, I knew it would happen and I'd rather not discuss that, or anything else with you any more. Now do you mind? Quinn's having a little bit of a bad time, and as you know, the students always come before socializing." _Especially socializing with pricks like you _she thought, not even feeling guilty about her intense dislike of him.

She knew she had to get rid of him soon or Quinn would most likely get up and cut him without a second thought in her emotional state. Knowing he had tried to feel Rachel up was not helping the tense situation.

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he closed his mouth and nodded.

"Just, uh…be careful how you talk to your teachers in future, Quinn." he said, trying to sound professional and ending up sounding frightened. She didn't acknowledge him so he offered Rachel a weak smile, which wasn't reciprocated, dropped it, and hurried away.

When he was finally out of sight, Rachel realized that her shoulders were tensed, so she let them slack with a sigh and rested her forehead against the cool wood of the door frame, her eyes closed. A moment later a warm hand appeared on her lower back. She bit her lip and rolled her head to the side, still resting on the door.

Quinn was standing beside her, left hand softly resting against her lower back. Her bottom lip was white, tightly squeezed in between her teeth, and her eyes were sorrowful.

"I…" The girl made a choked noise and stopped trying to speak. She looked down, and Rachel followed her eyes until she saw Quinn's right hand lifting, until she could feel its warmth getting closer and closer to her lower belly.

As it finally made contact, Rachel released the softest gasp, her eyes welling with tears, mirroring Quinn's. The blond swallowed thickly and took a step back.

"I have to…I need…time." she stuttered out, bringing her hands together in front of her body and wringing her fingers. Rachel turned around so her back was to the wood, pressing her lips together. She nodded gently.

"OK… Ok." Her eyes moved away from Quinn, down at her own shoes, and inhaled as the girl walked slowly past her out of the door, brushing their hands slightly together as she went.

'''''''''''''''

In a way, Quinn was glad to be in school. It gave her something to focus on other than her utter, paralyzing fear. It made her feel productive, as if she could solve a problem. What was an illegal, pregnant girlfriend compared to calculus, right?

She shook her head, realizing she had been staring at the same equation on the board for at least five minutes, and hadn't actually been thinking about it. She looked down at the gap in her notes scowling. Next to her, Santana raised a brow, but it went unnoticed by her captain. She tore a page out of her notepad and wrote across the top line, subtly placing it in between their elbows, then knocked the blond slightly with her foot and looked meaningfully down at the paper, hoping Quinn would get the hint. The blond twisted her neck and began reading.

_WTF is wrong with you today? Usually you're like anal when it comes to your notes._ Quinn rolled her eyes at the girl ignored her, until she felt a hard kick to the boney part of her ankle. She continued ignoring the girl, but realized she'd missed another couple of minutes of notes and just gave up all together. The latina kicked her again and Quinn realized there was a new line.

_Is it the same shit that was happening before?_ Quinn bit her lip, remembering the almost human level of compassion that the girl beside her had shown and deciding to take pity. She moved the paper over slightly to write back_._

_Kind of, I guess. I don't really want to talk about it. Can I borrow your notes tonight? Mine are gonna be useless, and I can't get behind._ She slid it back over, then surreptitiously checked her phone for any messages (none) before looking back to the paper.

_Only if you tell me what's going on…_ The girl clenched her jaw and wrote back.

_It's none of your business Lopez. Back off._

_Well maybe my notes are none of your business then._

_That's fine. Maybe when you're doing thirty extra suicides at practice tomorrow afternoon and I cut into your 'special-friend' time with Brittney and she goes looking for someone else to scratch her 'itch' it won't be any of my business either._ The cheerio looked enraged from what Quinn could see of her out of the corner of her eye, but she was unphased. The girl couldn't touch her, not in the long-run. She already had enough warnings to know that next time would equal suspension and being kicked off the cheerios, so she had to be Quinn's bitch or else.

_Fine, fuck you, you can have my fucking notes. I just wanted to try and help you._ Quinn rolled her eyes and laughed dryly under her breath, thinking _help yourself, you mean. _She scribbled her reply just as the bell rang and left before Santana saw it.

N_o one can help me, so stop trying. Copy the notes on the Cheerio's copier and put them in my locker, I'll keep coach occupied._ When she finished reading, Santana sat for a moment after everyone else had got up, looking the direction the blond had stalked off with a slightly perturbed expression on her face. Realizing she was sitting alone in the room, she sighed, hurriedly gathered her stuff and strode out of the door to her next class, sliding the note into her bag.

''''''''''''''

It was the last class of the day and Rachel was trying very hard to concentrate on what she was doing. Sadly, as usual the last class was her senior class and if there was one thing that could distract Rachel it was Quinn. The girl hadn't made eye contact a single time since she walked through the door, and sat morosely in the corner with her hair falling in a curtain around her face. The lesson wasn't helping, the kids were doing a pop quiz on their most recent classes, and Rachel was trying to grade papers while they sat in silence. Instead she couldn't help but let her hands and eyes drift to the keyboard of her computer and search stupid things like 'pregnancy fourth week' and 'Lima pre-K music programs', and also more worrying things like 'Lima planned parenthood' and 'pregnancy termination time' Every once in a while she would imagine eyes on her and look up, only to be met with a view of the tops of her class's heads. She closed her browser screen and reclined back into her chair, rubbing her face and closing her eyes. There were two minutes left before their time ran out, but ten left of the class, and Rachel decided that she was going to let them chill for ten minutes rather than trying to start something new.

She called time and had them collect the papers together.

"Alright guys, I really don't feel like starting something new, so you can do whatever for ten minutes. I'd let you go but Figgins would kill me so try to keep the noise down. If there's anything you want to talk to me about, feel free." She wondered if Quinn would come over and use the excuse to talk to her, but the girl stayed firmly in her seat. Everyone else was sitting chatting, so she picked up her phone and sent a rapid message.

_Can you come to mine for a couple of hours?_ She heard the girl's ringtone, and saw her pick it up and read it, then saw her stare at it for the next two minutes without her fingers moving. She was still staring at Quinn when Puck came over to her and had to say her name three times before she realized he was there. When she realised he was just trying to flirt with her, she got exasperated and dismissed them with five minutes to go. Quinn was the last one to get up, and as she walked past she stopped next to Rachel's desk.

"I have to go home and do some stuff. Can I be there in an hour or so?" Rachel nodded worriedly and the girl left without another word.

'''''''''''

When she finally knocked on Rachel's door, there was a bag slung over her shoulder as well as her purse, and she was still in her Cheerios uniform. Whatever she had gone to get from home, she didn't have time to change her clothes. _That or she lied_ Rachel thought, then dismissed the idea guiltily, knowing that not only was Quinn not a liar (at least to her), but she also wasn't stupid enough to tell a lie like that and make a stupid error. Rachel opened the door wide, wearing just a pair of over-sized thick gray cotton sweat-pants, and a thin, form-fitting, navy cashmere sweater with her hair in a ponytail. Comfort was the aim of the game. She closed the door as Quinn passed, then turned to the blond. Unexpectedly, the girl slipped her arms around the shorter woman's middle and nuzzled into her neck.

"Hi" She whispered. Rachel felt her eyes cloud over with tears (_again, damn hormones_) then wrapped her arms around the girl's hips in return, mumbling "hello" as she did so. They rested there for a few minutes before Quinn pulled away.

"Can I…Um…I'm just gonna…" she held up the bag she was holding, indicating she was gonna change. Rachel directed a half-smile and a nod in her direction.

"Sure. Uh…do you want something to drink?" Quinn wet her lips a little.

"Um…a peppermint tea would be good, if that's alright?" Rachel nodded, wanting to call her out on the over-politeness, but not being able to do it.

She boiled the kettle and poured two mugs, spooning in a little honey as she had learned the girl liked, before taking them over to the couch and waiting. She leaned back into the cushions and closed her eyes, trying to absorb the peacefulness. Subconsciously, her hands slipped down to her belly and began stroking it lightly; it was only when another hand softly covered her own that she realized. Her eyes opened to meet watery hazel, and as if by some kind of unspoken agreement, they fell into each other's arms, lips meeting and battling to show each other their mutual adoration. As Quinn's slid across Rachel's pouty lower lip, she felt it tremble, and then withdrew slightly to rest their foreheads together as Rachel's tears began to flow. They both reclined, cuddling into each other, Rachel unable to stop her tears, and Quinn knowing she couldn't do anything to stop them. She wrapped her arms around the woman's neck as she burrowed into Quinn's chest and they lay for a while, allowing the situation to sink it.

In a reversal of the day that they admitted their feelings to each other by the piano so many months ago, Quinn kissed the crown of Rachel's head and rested her nose amongst the sweet, dark tangle, and Rachel felt the blond's tears warming her head.

When it seemed like they had both run out of tears, they sat back and looked at one-another for a moment, wiping each others faces, before Rachel reached forward and grabbed both their drinks.

"I…um…added some honey like I know you like." She sniffed with a watery smile and a voice thickened by tears, handing the mug to Quinn.

"Thank you sweetheart" the girl smiled as she accepted the drink and took a sip.

Rachel didn't realize it, but the only reason Quinn drank peppermint tea was because Rachel drank it herself. It was a nice enough flavor, but more than anything the blond found it comforting and familiar. She'd insisted for months now that her mother keep the house stocked with it, finding that on days when her family upset her, taking a steaming hot tea up to her room and taking a bath (followed by a long conversation with Rachel) made her feel much better.

She let the sweet, warm liquid fortify her with its comforting familiarity before she widened the gap between herself and the woman she loved, twisting so they faced each other, in order to allow proper conversation. Their knees (which were both bent up onto the sofa) were touching, just enough for a comforting contact. She looked over at Rachel and after a moment the teacher looked up from the steaming amber liquid and met her gaze.

"I guess it's stupid to ask how this happened." Quinn said wryly.

"Condoms are only 98% effective. I guess we fell into the two percent." Quinn grunted slightly and rolled her eyes.

"Figures." They both smiled a little at that. "It's like Rachel and Ross in friends." Rachel really did laugh at that, and Quinn looked at her questioningly. Seeing her expression, Rachel explained.

"My name is Rachel because my parents named me after _that_ Rachel. Figures I would follow in the footsteps of my namesake." Quinn's eyes widened as she chuckled.

"Well I blame your dads then." She said, pretending to sulk. Rachel stopped laughing, but there was still a faint, sad smile on her face. Quinn sighed.

"Can I just…do you mind if I just say some things? Is it OK if you just listen for a moment?" Rachel took another sip of her tea and nodded for the cheerleader to continue.

"I…I love you. I need you to know that first." Rachel kept eye contact and nodded, but didn't interrupt. "I'm not ready for this. For a…a child." she forced out slowly, as it still hadn't quite sunk in yet that that was the end result of their situation. Rachel felt her heart sinking, but remained neutral "I don't know what you want to, or if you even know yet. Whether you want to…or…" Quinn trailed off. She just couldn't say either word, the thought of terminating _their_ child horrifying in itself, but the thought of _keeping_ a child much scarier in it's implication. She sighed, trying to rally, hoping that Rachel wouldn't feel the need to interrupt, as she didn't think she could muster up the courage for this talk again.

"I'm supposed to be going to college in the fall, working on a way to get out of this miserable town forever. I'm supposed to get out there, and find 'like-minded people' or whatever you keep telling me." She tried to ignore the glistening from the corners of Rachel's eyes and continued.

"We haven't been together for that long, we really haven't." She shuffled a little and sat up straighter as Rachel felt her heart withering in her chest, assuming where the conversation was going; that Quinn didn't want to keep it or was going to run if Rachel did want to, in spite of what Rachel had hoped. Quinn carried on talking.

"But you've already become my family, more so than anyone else I've ever known. More than my own parents or sister or grandparents ever were. And really, that's all I've ever wanted in my life." she picked up Rachel's hand and squeezed it.

"I'm fucking freaking out here. I was serious when I said I'm not ready, and to be fair you're probably not either." She stared into Rachel's eyes. "But we've got time to _get _ready if we need to." Rachel's eyes were wide as she listened to Quinn and tried to swallow down her scream of relief. "If there's one thing I've learned from my own crappy relatives, it's that you can't abandon the people you love. So if I have to hold your hand at a hundred doctor's offices, or…or one clinic" she swallowed slowly, "then that's what I'll do." She looked at Rachel with hope in her eyes. Rachel just nodded and slowly reclined into the cushions. Quinn, understanding that she needed a little time to process, gently released her hand, and found herself staring at Rachel's perfectly flat belly as she waited, contemplating the life inside.

Rachel clearing her throat brought her back to reality a few minutes later. Quietly, she spoke to the girl in front of her.

"I…I'm going to keep it." She said gently. "I have a home, a job…money," she whispered guiltily. "The only reason…not to" she intoned, finding she couldn't say the words either "would be purely selfish reasons." Quinn replied without meeting her eyes.

"It's OK to be selfish sometimes." It was almost a whisper, but Rachel heard it. She shook her head.

"Not this time. You're right, I'm not ready, I wasn't… planning this,"

"Obviously"

"Obviously. But here we are, and there's no denying it's happening, ready or not, and there's no good reason I shouldn't have this baby."

"Being a 24 year old teacher knocked up by your 18 year old, _mostly_ female student is probably a good reason…" Quinn murmured to her, not really sure why, as that wasn't what she felt at all. Rachel fixed her with a look bordering on a glare.

"I'm _going_ to keep this child."

"OK." Quinn nodded, feeling a certain tension leave her chest. She wondered if she was relieved; if she was glad.

"But Quinn," Rachel interrupted her thoughts, "I…I don't expect you to have any kind of responsibility, not if you're not... You're so…" Quinn clenched her jaw, trying not to get angry.

"Young? I know, so are you." Rachel took her hand and squeezed it.

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just, you have so much in your future, so much you're yet to accomplish, I don't want you to-" Quinn tugged her hand.

"Rachel. Stop." Their eyes met again. "I have things here, things that are more important than college or being a stupid pianist." Slowly she allowed her free hand to slide across Rachel's stomach, and the woman let out a strangled sob at the contact. "Things that are the _most_ important." Rachel nodded gladly and let the tears fall.

"I am not giving this up, I'm not giving _you _up, and I'm not giving up my…my child" Quinn rasped out reverently. "Our child" she whispered, to herself more than anything. She looked up at Rachel, defiantly. "I'm not giving up my family" she said firmly.

The brunette's head was full of 'but's and 'what if's, but she let them slide away, for the moment at least.

"OK. OK." She paused for a moment. "What're we going to do?" she ground out tearfully.

"I…have no idea." the blond said looking her square in the eyes. "But I know that if some sixteen year old girl from Asshole, USA can do it, we can. And we will definitely do it together." Rachel drew a shaky breath and nodded, falling back into Quinn's arms.

They sat together, soothed by the rise and fall of each other's breathing, until Quinn saw the clock and shifted the woman in her arms.

"I'm really sorry, but I have to go. My parents…" Both of them froze up for a moment, the thought of their parents making them realize just how _big_ the situation was. Quinn stood up and pulled Rachel up into her arms, meeting her lips gently in a kiss that whispered a promise.

"We'll be alright together, OK?" Quinn asked. Rachel nodded against her lips. "Call tonight?" Rachel nodded and stepped away, allowing Quinn to grab her purse before pulling the girl towards the door. They stood facing each other for a second until Quinn spoke, hands covered by the long sleeves of the over-sized dark gray sweater she was wearing over blue jeans, and looking down at her white tennis shoes.

"Would it be OK if I maybe came over and stayed tomorrow night?" She asked the woman.

"Of course." Rachel replied in an exhausted sigh and nodded. "I'd like that." Quinn smiled.

"OK, well…" She put her hand on the door handle before turning back to Rachel a second later. She looked like she wanted to ask something, but was too afraid to. After a couple of seconds, to Rachel's shock, she dropped to her knees in front of her. They met eyes as Quinn's hands inched Rachel's shirt upwards, before breaking eye-contact to look at Rachel's belly.

"Bye, baby" she whispered, pressing her warm lips against the skin just above the waistband of Rachel's pants. The brunette licked her lips at the contact and blinked slowly as Quinn got up, giving her a worried smile. The brunette smiled at her and cupped the girl's cheek, brushing a couple of her loose curls back behind her ear before reaching forward and opening the door.

"Bye sweetheart. I'll talk to you in a little while, OK?" Rachel said softly. Quinn smiled her affirmative and the brunette watched the girl descend the steps to the parking garage.

Sighing, she went back inside and returned to the sofa, collapsing down onto it face first. She took some time to calm herself before turning sideways, where she saw the two empty mugs on the table. She got up and picked them up, having to step over Quinn's bag that she'd forgotten.

Rachel looked at the clock, seeing that Quinn had had enough time to get home, and it would therefore be safe to text the girl.

_You left your bag at my house. Should I bring it to school for you in the morning or can it wait until you come over tomorrow night? Xxx_

A few moments later came the reply.

_Um…actually, I left it there on purpose. It's what I went home to get._ Rachel's brow furrowed.

_Oh. What's in it? Should I look?_

_Yeah, you can look. It's just… a couple of things I wanted to share._ Rachel again felt her brow twist in confusion. She sat back on the sofa and pulled the bag with her, unzipping it. Inside, on the top, was a soft blanket, old, white, fluffy cotton with teddy bears and little yellow stars. Underneath that she found a couple of picture books, and a tiny wool hat. She took the blanket and held it to her nose, breathing it in. It was slightly musty, obviously having been in storage for a while, but it still had that sweet baby-scent clinging to it. It felt as if the entire thing was imbued with pure love, and she had to put it down before she soaked it with her tears. The items were reverently packed back into the bag before she took up her phone again.

_These were yours?_

_Yes. My sister already has her old things for her kids. I wanted the same for mine._

_But you didn't know what I wanted to do. _Rachel replied slightly confused.

_No, but I knew what _**I**_ wanted you to do. If you'd said you weren't going to go through with it I would've just taken the bag with me and not mentioned it._

Rachel was speechless. She knew that times were going to get shitty before the end of the year, and they were going to do so quickly, but just for that one second she found that everything was perfect. She closed her eyes with her hand on her belly and replied with the only three words she could remember at that moment.

_I love you._

''''''''''''''

**_OK, so like i said, nothing too angsty there. I just like them better when they're mushy, what can i say?_**

**_Thank you all for sticking with me even though i'm about as consistent as British weather. Thanks to Kyle on the L chat, AKA Pinchers of Peril (I think). You're relentless in your guilt inducing PMs. It's really encouraging even if i am having a fit of apathy. Thanks for everyone who reviews, you can really brighten up a crappy day.  
_**

**_Like i said, no timeline for the next one. Sorry, but i'd rather it be a surprise when i do post than a disappointment if i don't._**

**_Until next time :)  
_**


	24. Chapter 24

_**Hey everyone. Kinda short update today because i have to get up for work in six hours and i can't think of anything else to write RN, but i won't leave it here for long.**_

**_Thanks again for sticking with it and for the positive comments._**

**_Enjoy!  
_**

**Chapter 24**

School the next day went unbelievably slow from Quinn's perspective. She at least managed to take decent notes for all of her classes, but that didn't mean that she wasn't sitting at her desk rolling her eyes at the clock each time she thought ten minutes had gone by and it turned out to be two. Similarly, Rachel was really having to concentrate on not going insane. Time seemed a little slower, her students seemed a little denser. _And my pants seem a little tighter_ the woman thought as she shifted uncomfortably on the piano bench as she spoke to her students.

She had never been an unconfident woman, but the knowledge that very soon her body would be changing with a very obvious cause, and there wasn't anything she could do about it, made her feel on edge that someone could figure out the events that led up to it.

_Come on! _she admonished herself _As far as anyone here knows, I could have a long term, __**non-student**__ boyfriend and we made a calculated decision to have children. I don't owe anyone here an explanation, even if they do figure out I'm pregnant_ she decided. The rolling feeling in her stomach indicated that she didn't feel any better about it. She subtly eased her phone out of her pocket as her students copied some notes from the board (a rare yet welcome event in her classroom) and began swiftly running her fingers over the touch pad.

In Chemistry class, the girl's phone buzzed, and she gladly stopped listening to Puck's thoughts on the uses of sodium metal in a Zombie apocalypse to check her messages. She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at Rachel's cuteness.

_Is it weird that I feel like I'm already getting fatter? _Rolling her eyes and checking to make sure the teacher was thoroughly incensed enough by Puck's ignorance of the subject matter to be distracted for a little while, she shot a message back.

_OK, there are like a million things wrong with that message. First of all, the word "fatter" implies that you're fat to begin with, and I have to tell you that, after a thorough study of your naked body, I can assure you that fat is not a word that could ever be used in your description._

She sent that message, looking up and checking that she was still safe. Finn was called on next, and she smiled to herself, knowing that the balding man at the front was likely to have an aneurysm after listening to the two boys one after the other.

_Secondly, you're barely a month and a half down the line. Unless you've got octuplets in there, which is unlikely, then it's just worry talking._

Allowing time for Rachel to read that message, she sent the final one.

_And lastly, it's not you getting fat, it's our child growing. So I'm gonna love every single ounce of weight, both real and imagined, that you put on over the next eight months. Now teach something. I love you. xxx_

As one of the sophomores in her class asked a question, Rachel looked away from her phone beaming the brightest smile any of them had seen on her face around the class.

Quinn wasn't expecting an answer to that question, and looked up, only to meet eyes with her teacher who was looking desperately around the room for someone with higher brain functions. He looked relieved as she accidentally caught his eye and asked her about the uses of sodium. She stealthily slid her arm down and dropped her phone into her bag before answering his question.

Finally, the final bell rang through the school and both girls, in separate rooms, simultaneously sighed in relief. Quinn packed up her books and grabbed her bag, rushing out of the door before the teacher even finished calling out the homework assignment.

What she didn't see was a the guy from the desk next to her bend to pick up the phone that had actually missed the pocket of her bag and slid down the canvas onto the floor, before he was shoved over by a dark, fiery Latina.

"Hands off, mouth breather. You don't get to touch anything that any of the Cheerios own. _Especially_ her." The boy cowered away as she scooped up the phone and pocketed it, heading towards the blond's locker, only to see Quinn grab a bunch of stuff and shove it in her bag before practically sprinting down the alleyway that formed for her through the crowds of people. The girl sighed and rolled her eyes, feeling especially pissed off that the one nice thing that she made an effort to do came up fruitless. She shrugged and took it as a sign from the universe that good deeds were for other people, and she was just built to be a bitch. _Except for where Brit is concerned _she thought to herself as she felt her pinky being hooked by a soft finger, not having to look to see who it was. She carried on walking, deciding to keep the phone _For a little while at least_.

Quinn, having already told her parents she was staying at some random Cheerio's house for the weekend the day before, managed to get to Rachel's so fast she thought she might have whiplash. She knocked on the door and waited patiently, but when she was still standing there two minutes later she got a little peeved, and then a little worried. She stood for another couple of minutes, becoming more worried by the second, before she remembered the spare key that Rachel had once told her aboutin passing, _because you can never be too _prepared. Taking a minute to remember where it was, she finally reached up to the top of the door frame, and slid her hand along it until she felt the cool metal, unlocking the door and stepping inside. It was quiet at first, but after a moment the blond was able to discern the sound of the shower running from the back of the apartment. Her mind immediately jumped to conclusions.

_Shit. She knew I was coming over. What if she fell in the shower, what if she…_Quinn blanched at the thought that something had happened to the baby. Dropping her stuff, she jogged nervously into the woman's room, praying the brunette had just forgotten or didn't realize what the time was or something. As Quinn opened the bedroom door, she saw that the bathroom door was open. It was what she heard that stopped her heart hammering though. Rachel was singing You've Got The Love at the top of her voice and was, clearly, fine. Striding through the door, with a furrowed brow, Quinn walked in, intent on asking Rachel why she left her out in the chilly spring afternoon. As she walked into the bathroom, though, she forgot what she was going to say,

Rachel was wet and naked, with her back arched so her sudsy hair was under the stream of water, and had an expression of pure joy on her face as she belted out the high notes of the song. Quinn found that she couldn't speak for a moment as her mouth started watering and her palms began to itch.

When Rachel called over to her, she was totally distracted by the woman's hard nipples, dripping with water and shampoo.

"Hey baby, what took you so long?" the brunette husked. It was then that the blond realized that Rachel's singing had been all for her benefit, that the woman expected her to be there. She was confused.

"What do you mean what took me so long? I've been standing outside knocking for five minutes." Her expression changed from confused to slightly hurt. "I was worried."

Instead of becoming apologetic like Quinn expected, Rachel's face contorted in confusion."Why were you worried? I texted you and told you to let yourself in, that I was waiting for you." They both looked confused at this point.

"I never got a text." Quinn denied.

"Well, you must've, because I definitely sent it.

"Maybe you just thought you sent it? You know how you are sometimes." Under the hot water, the brunette pouted and put her hands on her hips as she turned to face the girl, causing Quinn to lick her lips, but remain unapologetic for her statement.

"Quinn, I _definitely _sent it. I made sure!" Quinn rolled her eyes. "Fine! Go check if you don't believe me!" The blond shook her head and walked out to the woman's nightstand, checking the sent messages.

"Well, I'll be damned" she muttered to herself, arching her brow as she saw the text, as much about the fact that the message itself was totally dirty as the fact that Rachel was right. She wondered why the message never came through, but brushed the thought away, occupied with the message itself.

"Fine" she said as she walked back into the steamy bathroom. "You were right. I'm sorry for doubting you." Rachel bit her lip coquettishly and smiled.

"How are you going to make it up to me?" She asked in a sultry voice, one hand slipping from her left ribs to rest on her right nipple, the other crossing from the right side of her stomach and slipping down through the hot liquid on her body to the point where her legs met, stroking slowly. Quinn reached up and gently pulled the band out of her hair, allowing it to fall in golden waves over her shoulders.

"Well…as the person who was wronged, I believe you should come up with the price, don't you?" the girl husked, toeing off her shoes and socks. Rachel nodded, eyes slipping closed for a second as she continued to pleasure herself, watching Quinn breathing heavily through the foggy glass of the shower divide.

"I think that's a very fair way to settle this" she nodded again, squeezing her nipple between her index and thumb as she watched Quinn slip her spanks and underwear off from under her Cheerio skirt. The girl took a step forward, separating the flaps of the skirt for a moment, giving Rachel the most tantalizing hint of what she wanted, before she stopped again.

"What did you have in mind, Ms Berry?" the girl asked demurely, clasping her hands in front of her and bowing her head in deference.

"Well, Ms Fabray, I seem to remember another incident with a text message. When we were in New York?" Quinn, smirked, remembering the messages that she sent when she was trying to distract herself before her interview. "What was it you said?" Quinn was silent for a moment, taken in by the way Rachel's hips were slowly rocking against her own hand.

"…I said that I was imagining you in the shower with one of your legs over my shoulder, while I made you scream my name over and over. Ms Berry." She said softly, trying not to smirk, keeping her head bowed.

"That's right." Rachel nodded, eyes closing for a second as her fingers sped up at the memory. "Then I think that the best way for you to make it up to me is to do just that…_get on your knees and beg my forgiveness_" she rasped menacingly, although for Quinn it was just arousing.

Without bothering to take off the rest of her clothes, Quinn rounded the shower divide as Rachel turned to meet her. Their lips crashed together as Quinn ripped Rachel's hands away from her body and forced her backwards until she hit the wall. The blond forced one of her hands to clasp the pipe on the wall, and held the other over the woman's head against the wall as she kissed her with bruising intensity. She sucked Rachel's slippery-wet bottom lip between her own and sucked on it, causing a loud moan, before biting down on it emphatically. Quinn had learned that Rachel loved it rough, and was gratified to find that as usual, Rachel's back arched up as she felt Quinn's teeth putting pressure on her tender flesh. She gasped and got a face full of hot water, but didn't care as Quinn left the hand she was holding on top of Rachel's head, indicating she was to keep it there, before she slid down the woman's body, biting and sucking each nipple a couple of times before her knees hit the floor with a splash. Pausing momentarily to make sure the woman was still grasping the pipe, Quinn hiked the perfect, tanned, toned leg over her shoulder and dove right in to Rachel's hot core without preamble.

Rachel inhaled a scream as Quinn's hot tongue met her swollen clit, her hand pulling at her own hair in an attempt to regain control over her own body,

"Oh fuck baby, you're so good. You're such a good little girl baby, keep going." Quinn couldn't stop the smile that was spreading across her face at each of the woman's moans, which caused her teeth to be exposed from behind her lips. As they accidentally grazed lightly across Rachel's clit, her hips bucked hard into Quinn's face and she found she was swiftly losing control.

"Uh. Oh shit. Like that baby, keep going. " The blond found that as every debauched word dripped from Rachel's lips, she was getting wetter. She allowed her free hand to slide across her chest before slipping down under the flaps of her skirt, circling her clit hard but slow.

She allowed her tongue's strokes across the swollen clit to extend up and down until they were broad strokes of the woman's entire slit, then without warning, plunged her tongue deep into the tight opening of Rachel's pussy.

"Fuuukkquinn!" she slurred in exclamation as the girl's arm wrapped around the leg bent over her shoulder and her fingers replaced her tongue. The girl found that because of the changed angle of her head, she could look directly up at Rachel. The woman's head was bowed forward and she was staring right back down at Quinn, who found herself using all her willpower not to come at the sight of the woman's sparkling brown eyes staring down at her during the intimate moment. "Baby I'm so close" the woman wimpered. Rachel allowed the hand on the back of her head to slide down until she was stroking the soaked blond locks below her. It felt for a moment like they were in the eye of a hurricane; everything was still for just a moment, save Quinn's fingers and tongue and Rachel's hand on her head.

"I love you so much, Quinn" the woman whispered with adoration, still stroking the top of the girl's head reverently.

Not wanting to hold back the woman's pleasure any more, Quinn flicked her tongue and hummed as if she was saying "I love you" directly into the woman's dripping center, pinching her clit at the same time, and drawing a wail so loud it echoed off the walls.

"Quuuuuiiinnnnnn!" The girl removed her fingers and slid her tongue back up to the woman's pulsing clit as she felt herself coming apart, drawing nothing but grunts of pleasure and low moans.

"Ung, god damn fuck me fuck" she choked out as Quinn's rapid tongue had her clenching and shaking again. She slid down to the floor of the shower where Quinn caught her. The blond caught her lips with her own and kissed her sensually until she recovered, at which point she pushed the brunette back slightly to lay down on the floor.

"Baby….." she sighed exhaustedly. "Baby what are you doing?" she asked as the girl gave up her lips to slide down her body, kissing every square inch of skin she came across as she went down.

"Well, Ms Berry, the text I sent in New York said that I would make you scream my name over and over. By my count it's only been once so far." The girl continued her journey before parting the woman's lower lips with her fingers and circling around Rachel's clit tantalizingly slowly.

"Baby…I…_god_" the woman exclaimed as Quinn's tongue cut the circle she had been making in half and slashed across the brunette's abused clit. She gave up trying to dissuade Quinn, giving in to pleasure. It was going to be a long night.

''''''''''''

Quinn was laying wrapped around Rachel, basking in the glow of the woman's sex coma, and had been doing so for the past two hours since she had been woken up by the sun shining through the wall of glass, the curtains of which they had forgotten to close. As beautiful as Rachel was though, the Quinn could feel her stomach rumbling and decided to get herself some breakfast. _I can make her some breakfast in bed too_ she thought, slipping out from under the sheets, pulling an old oversized t-shirt of Rachel's out of a drawer and then padding down the hallway.

As she got into the living room, she saw her stuff strewn across the floor, she decided she should probably check to see if she had any messages, and walked across the room, bending to rummage through the side-pocket of her bag.

"Well, there's a welcome sight for the morning!" She heard Rachel say as the woman came up behind her, running her hand down the girl's exposed ass and allowing her fingers to slip down the girl's slit. Quinn bit back the shiver and moan, and opted to straighten up and direct a pout at Rachel.

"You're not supposed to be awake! You're supposed to be in a sex coma! I was gonna make breakfast in bed for you." She pouted some more and crossed her arms over her chest, but it just caused Rachel to giggle over how cute the expression was, pulling Quinn's arms to rest around her waist and pulling the younger woman into a chaste kiss before winking and turning around.

"You forget, I have much more practice than you do, my stamina and recovery are much faster than yours." The brunette began rummaging around the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, and the girl just rolled her eyes and resumed looking for her phone.

After going through her entire bag three times, and still being unable to find it, she began to worry. Rachel noticed her distress from across the room.

"What's the matter babe?" she asked gently.

"It's my phone. I can't find it. I was texting you, and then I put it in the side-pocket of my bag." Rachel stilled for a moment, knowing that while she wasn't going to be incriminated herself, Quinn could end up with a lot of questions to answer if one of her peers looked through the texts. She tried not to let her worry be obvious.

"I…I'm sure it'll be fine. Maybe a teacher picked it up or something? You could ask at school on Monday." The girl nodded absently, before walking over to the landline phone on the kitchen counter.

"You mind if I just call it?" she asked, also trying to mask the worry in her voice. Rachel nodded and she dialed her number, holding her breath as it rang.

"_Hello?"_ a groggy voice answered. And it was with that single word that she knew who it was and simultaneously realized she was fucked. She was panicking, and her instincts took over. She hung up and dropped the phone.

"Rachel?" she called out blindly, her eyes already tearing up. The woman rushed over and the blond buried her face into her neck. "Rachel, I'm fucked." The brunette pulled back a little, her hand resting on the side of Quinn's neck and giving comforting little strokes. They met eyes. "Santana Lopez has my phone."

'''''''''''

**_OK, so chill, like i said i won't leave it there for long. There's good stuff to come._**

**_Keep commenting and stuff, i'm a total whore for it._**

**_Until next time ;)  
_**


	25. Chapter 25

**_Hi everyone. Welcome to the first installment of my "Exam Procrastination" chapters!_**

**_Lol, OK, so i have exams over the next three weeks or so an i'm supposed to be studying, so of course i'm updating instead._**

**_I'm hoping you'll enjoy this one. A little something for everyone, so to speak._**

**_Hope you enjoy it!  
_**

**_Thanks for all the encouraging reviews and comments too :)_**

**Chapter 25**

Rachel held Quinn tight for a moment, trying to console her, until she stiffened and heard the girl choke on a sob. The phone was ringing from where Quinn had dropped it on the counter.

"_Shit_." Rachel breathed as she stepped away from Quinn, staring into her eyes, holding her face and wiping her tears with her thumbs. "Baby, you have to answer it." Hazel eyes widened in shock.

"What? No! I don't…I can't! I can't believe I was stupid enough to call from here! Now she's seen your number, and either she'll know I was here or she'll think _you_ were calling my cell-"

"_Or,_" the woman cut in swiftly, knowing she didn't have much time to play with, "If you pick up, you can just claim you're at an old friend's house for the weekend or something and she'll never think about the number again. But if you _let it keep ringing_" she said through gritted teeth, "my machine, with my _very obvious _voice, will be the first thing she hears and we'll be _completely __**fucked.**_" Understanding hit the blond like a train, and she almost dove across the counter to get to the phone, answering breathlessly.

"Hello?" she exhaled, biting her lip as Santana's sleep-roughened voice met her ear.

"Hey, yeah, I just got a call from this number?" Inhaling against her tight chest, and comforted by Rachel's hand on her back, she bit the bullet.

"San? It's me, Quinn. I was just looking for my phone." She swallowed thickly, preparing herself to produce a convincing act. "Thank god you have it!" she exclaimed with false happiness. "I've been looking for it everywhere!"

In the en-suite bathroom of her Victorian-style mansion, Santana's brow cocked and a mild smirk brushed her lips as she rested on the edge of the bathtub.

"Yeah, I bet you have Q. You know, when your parents buy you a new phone for Christmas, you'd think they'd get you something decent, or at least something more than just a keypad lock." She waited for what she hoped was Quinn's terrified reply. It wasn't necessarily that she wanted to make the girl suffer, just that she wanted the head bitch to know that she'd read enough on her phone to require some answers. She'd been trying to get the Quinn to open up about what the hell was going on with her for weeks, and it seemed that she had finally found the perfect leverage.

"San," the whimpered slightly. Rachel noticed the change in tone of her voice and wrapped her arms tightly around Quinn's waist, resting her head on the girl's shoulder and pressing comforting kisses to her neck.

Over the phone, the cheerleader dropped her bravado.

"Look Q, I think we both know you've got some explaining to do, don't we? Just…come over to mine tomorrow, OK?" Quinn's eyes pressed closed tightly in despair And Quinn? I expect the truth, or else whoever this Sarah chick is, I'll find her and make her life hell." With that parting note, the dark girl hung up abruptly and unlocked the bathroom door, putting Quinn's phone down on her nightstand and slipping back under the covers, wrapping her arms around the waiting blond.

Back at Rachel's Quinn slowly put the phone back on the counter and turned herself so that her forehead was resting against Rachel's shoulder. Rachel didn't ask her anything, knowing that pushing her for a story would probably cause her to break down again. Instead she just held tighter and let the rest of the world melt away around them.

Eventually, a couple of minutes passed, and Quinn sniffled softly before pulling her head back and meeting Rachel's eyes. The brunette smiled sadly at her, brushing a few loose blond strands back across her forehead and behind her ear with her thumb and index. Quinn smiled a little at the loving gesture and sighed.

"She's demanding to know what's going on. She doesn't know it's you, but she's demanding to know who "Sarah" is and what's been going on." Rachel nodded slowly in understanding.

"You…you talked about everything when we were texting yesterday. Like, the baby and everything. Does she…?" Quinn nodded.

"It looks like she read all of my texts, so I'm guessing she knows everything, the baby, my condition, everything." She wiped her eyes a little.

Rachel was waiting for the explosion, but it never came. The only way to describe the situation was 'dire', yet the blond was amazingly calm. She pulled away from the blond and poured two cups of coffee, then tugged the cheerleader's hand, pulling the girl over to the dining table and setting down the cups before settling in a chair, hand still clasped around Quinn's.

"Are…you OK?" she inquired gently. Quinn took a sip of her coffee, setting it carefully back on the table before nodding slowly.

"I think so." She paused, then sighed. "I mean, no, obviously not, I'm just too…I guess I'm still in shock or something." Rachel licked her lips nervously and nodded.

"It could be much worse, right?" Quinn continued. "She doesn't know who you are, so you, and the baby too, are protected for now." Rachel's brow furrowed.

"But what about you?" she asked, squeezing the girl's hand. Quinn pulled her hand away, then leaned forward and rested it on Rachel's flat stomach.

"I think-I think I've managed to get some perspective. There are much worse things in the world than someone finding out about my abnormal genitalia and the fact that I have a strong interest in women." She grunted a little laugh, still looking at where her hand was resting on Rachel's stomach, before looking up and seeing that Rachel's eyes were shining with un-shed tears and a tiny half-smile. "It'll be OK. It'll suck, but it'll be OK." Rachel nodded at Quinn's soft words. "And as far as I can tell she hasn't gone to the press or anything. She seemed pretty…neutral? I don't know, maybe she just doesn't know what to think, but…" Rachel put her hand on top of Quinn's squeezing, and gave her a meaningful look.

"It'll be OK." she said. Quinn nodded and smiled, but after a second it faded."Um…what do you think about…calling the phone company and changing your number?" She said slowly, not really knowing how the woman would react. Rachel grunted a laugh and rolled her eyes.

"Favorable. Can't wait to change it, it has too many threes." Quinn nodded a little and shot Rachel a courtesy smile for the effort of making a joke about it, before picking up her coffee and disengaging her brain. She was only allowing herself to think about Rachel's soft belly under her hand and the warm feelings that the caresses of the woman's fingers across her knuckles were causing.

Moments later Rachel was getting up though. Quinn's brow furrowed.

"Where are you going baby?" Rachel turned around from where she had grabbed her keys from the kitchen counter.

"Let's go get some breakfast."

''''''''''''''''''''

A couple of hours later, they were back in bed, with Rachel curled up on her side asleep, and Quinn also on her side behind her, but propped up on the pillows and her elbow, rubbing Rachel's back softly. They had made their first discovery about pregnancy together a little while before; Even if you're craving something (bacon, to Rachel's horror and Quinn's delight) that doesn't mean that you won't still throw it up later (as Rachel had discovered when she had broken off their make-out session on the living room floor to run to the bathroom). The only way that Quinn had convinced Rachel to actually eat the bacon in the first place was by some sneaky reasoning (otherwise known as emotional blackmail) so she felt a little guilty that Rachel couldn't keep it down.

"Baby, cravings are caused by your body needing things for the baby to develop healthily, right? Like women who crave eating coal or chalk? So I know you don't want to eat the bacon, but it's for the baby." The blond said across the table at Denny's. True, Quinn may have been trying hard to convince Rachel because she didn't want to eat it in front of Rachel if she wasn't going to eat it, and Quinn _really_ wanted to eat her bacon, but she still figured that was true. Rachel grudgingly gave in, before realizing that bacon was in fact her _first _craving.

"Wow, this really is my kid" Quinn had laughed.

It was yet another thing that made it more real to Quinn that she actually had a child growing in Rachel's womb. In eight months she would be a _mother_.

Rachel sleeping gave Quinn the opportunity to quietly freak out on her own. _What will my parents do? How the hell am I gonna support this child?_ She sighed a little. _What about college?_ Quinn shook her head to try and rid herself of the selfish thoughts. _There's no room for me to be selfish like that any more. This child is more important than that. And I of all people know that money can't replace love during childhood, so I'll just support him or her however I can._

"And god-dammit, this kid is going to be the most loved child the world has ever seen" she muttered, not realizing that she had spoken out loud.

"Damn right it is," she heard Rachel mutter. Her eyes went wide as the brunette rolled onto her other side below her. She smiled at Quinn, and kissed the hand that was resting between them as the blond apologized."Sorry baby, I didn't mean to wake you, I didn't even realized I said anything." The woman closed her eyes and snuggled down against Quinn's chest.

"Mmm it's OK. I shouldn't be sleeping anyway, I'm gonna have to learn to get over it." Quinn brushed some hair back from her face, smiling.

"How're you feeling now?"

"Better," the woman mumbled with her eyes still closed. Quinn smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Good. I ran out and got you some Saltines while you were asleep, they're in the kitchen." The woman's eyes opened a crack.

"Thank you. You're so thoughtful."

Utilizing the unusual moment alone, Quinn leaned down to the woman's lips and kissed her gently, sighing into it as she felt Rachel's hand tangle in blond roots. Their lips languidly slipped across each other's, not feeling rushed or desperate like they usually were. Every few minutes Rachel would hum her approval as Quinn sucked on her bottom lip or flicked her tongue. It was slow, and loving, and passionate, and Quinn thought that she could face anything and everything if the rest of her life could be spent that way. They found that they stopped naturally after about twenty minutes, and Rachel sat up.

"I think I'm gonna have a shower. A _very quick_ shower. After finding out what it's like to be in a shower for three hours yesterday, I don't feel like I need to be in there for longer than five minutes." She pecked Quinn on the lips, but the girl pouted.

"Are you saying you didn't enjoy our three hour shower excursion?" she whined as the brunette got up and stripped off her clothes. Rachel chuckled.

"I loved it, but after we got out I looked like a giant prune! No one needs to see that." She walked into the bathroom, naked, her hips swaying.

"Giant, _sexy_ prune!" Quinn shouted through the open door. "And it didn't stop you going another two rounds once we got to the bed, did it?" She chuckled to herself and shook her head as the hiss of water reached her ears and Rachel pretended to not hear her.

She was just about to hop off the bed and help Rachel break her five minute shower rule when she felt a searing pain shoot through her groin. She lay back on the bed with her feet resting on the floor, and gritted her teeth against the familiar pressure and burn between her legs, unzipping her jeans and shucking them and her underwear as far as her knees.

She heard the water in the shower shut off but couldn't pay attention to it as the final wave of pain washed over her and the pressure finally released. She groaned at both the pain and the relief and lay still, sweating and panting.

When she finally looked down to it, she saw Rachel standing about a foot in front of where she was laying on the bed, in just a towel.

"Are you OK baby?" Rachel said, a frown creasing her forehead. Quinn nodded and swallowed.

"Yeah, I'm OK, really. It'll stop aching in a sec." The woman pouted a little."It hurts when it…grows?" Quinn nodded, wiping the sweat off her forehead, completely uncaring about the fact that she was just carrying on a conversation with Rachel when she was laying fully clothed on the bed with her dick exposed.

Rachel licked her lips, staring at the girl's thick cock. Next thing Quinn knew, she felt Rachel kneeling between her legs on the ground in front of the bed. She looked at her, surprised to find she had dropped the towel and was completely naked and still wet from her shower."Wh-what are you doing?" Rachel didn't pull her eyes away as she replied.

"You said it hurts," she breathed as she took the appendage in her hand and slid her palm up and down it once. Quinn found that Rachel's hot breath was brushing over her dick and was making her even harder than the pressure from Rachel's hand. She shook her head and tried to focus.

"I-it does." she nodded confusedly.

"Well then," the brunette said throatily, "I'm going to kiss it better for you." And with that she lowered her head, kissing and licking slowly from the base of her shaft until she reached the head, at which point she ran her tongue in a slow circle around it and then sucked it softly between her lips.

Quinn moaned loudly and found her hips flexing without her consent, pushing her dick further in between the brunette's pouty lips. Rather than pulling away, Rachel bobbed her head further down, until Quinn's cock was stuffed all the way down her throat. She groaned around it, which caused Quinn to gasp and twitch where she was sitting, before pushing herself up a little on her palms.

Rachel pulled away, smirking, allowing her hand to pistol up and down Quinn's length, before sucking on the tip and bobbing her head, licking it inside her mouth, then pulling back when her lips met her hand in the middle. She continued slowly, basking in Quinn's appreciative groans, until she felt the blond's hand snake up to the back of her head and grasp the roots of her hair hard. Rachel found she couldn't move her head forward or back, and wondered what Quinn wanted, until the girl started fucking her mouth with abandon. Rachel groaned as Quinn thrust hard and fast in and out of her mouth, finding that she was embarrassingly turned on by their debauched behavior, and even more by the noises Quinn was making.

"Oh god, Rachel! Fuck, fuckfuckfuck. Yeah, take my cock." Rachel smirked and sucked down hard.

"Ahhh! Fuck baby, keep going! Don't stop, don't stop." Quinn continued pounding up into Rachel's mouth, unable to feel her fingers any more because she was holding so tight onto Rachel's skull. She felt the delicious ache in her lower abdomen expand.

"Shit baby suck it like that, yeah. I'm so close... Oh god Rachel!" She struggled to loosen her grip on Rachel's head so the woman could pull away if she wanted, but she just held on to the blond's thighs tighter and began pounding her mouth down around Quinn's dick, sucking hard at the same time and flicking her tongue over the tip whenever she could.

"Oh baby, I'm gonna-I'm so close!" Quinn redoubled the speed that her hips were rotating and as she felt Rachel vibrating her throat around her aching cock, she let go with a yell.

"FUUUCK, RACHEL!" She kept pounding upwards as she shot her cum directly down Rachel's throat, and the brunette swallowed repeatedly, drinking down anything that she could. Finally, Quinn collapsed backwards onto the bed again, panting and twitching.

Watching her carefully, Rachel felt her own chest heaving, and as she moved to lie on the bed next to her love, she felt that her inner thighs were covered in her slippery arousal, and she groaned, changing her plan.

Quinn was trying desperately to regain control of her breathing, but the feeling of Rachel's hand pumping up and down her still wet shaft was making it harder.

"Baby," she wheezed, looking down to where Rachel was staring intently at the cock she was jerking. "What are youuu-" she broke off as she twitched, the pressure on her still sensitive dick making it hard to think. "What are you doing?" The woman finally broke her concentration to look up at Quinn.

"I'm accepting my cravings baby. Like you said." At that, she pulled Quinn's jeans off, crawled up Quinn's body until she was straddling her and pulled the blond's top off, before diving in for a kiss.

The brunette broke away from Quinn's lips as her wet heat made contact with Quinn's slowly hardening appendage, and she began kissing the cheerleader's neck as she ground her slit up and down the girl's cock. Quinn grunted and chuckled a little, rocking her hips in time with Rachel's.

"Cravings, huh? You craving my cock baby?" Rachel sat up and arched her back as she rocked, nodding rapidly.

"Yeah, fuck, yessss." The blond's hands drifted up to Rachel's hips and began speeding her movements, as her lips wrapped around one of the dusky-pink nipples that was thrust towards her as the brunette's back had arched.

"Well, then, you'd better let me _give it to you,_" she panted as she ground her increasingly hard dick upwards. Rachel let out a strangled gasp and nodded again, allowing Quinn to lift her by the hips slightly, then use one hand to manoeuver the tip of her cock to Rachel's dripping opening.

Inhaling as she went, Rachel lowered her self down slowly, until she reached the hilt. She attached their lips and swallowed Quinn's groan with her mouth as she began grinding at the pace they had been previously.

They reached fever pitch within minutes, having to pull away from each other's mouths so they could drag ragged breaths into their lungs. Quinn was hypnotised by the way Rachel's breasts bounced in front of her eyes each time she ground down and then sprang back up on her knees, and the way that her fingernails dug into the backs of her shoulders, the way a bead of sweat was dripping down her collar bone and the expression on her face as they ground together. Quinn felt everything get to her and felt herself beginning to unravel, so, not wanting to leave Rachel hanging, slid her hand from the woman's hip onto her clit rubbing rapid circles. When the brunette felt it, her eyes shot open with a groan and met Quinn's.

"Oh god baby, I'm gonna cum." she panted, not able to form anything louder than a whisper. "Cum with me Quinn. I want to feel you cum inside me baby, please!" Hearing Rachel say those words caused Quinn to gasp and release a high-pitched whine, pounding the woman's hips down onto her cock harder and rubbing her clit faster.

"Fuck, oh my fucking god!" she yelled. "I'm cumming! Rachel, oh god RAAACHEL!" The blond's second orgasm was stronger than the first, and as she exploded she felt Rachel's walls clamping down on her in reaction to the feeling of being filled with Quinn's cum. Quinn reached her arm around behind Rachel and continued to pound into her until her orgasm subsided and she couldn't see straight any more, at which point she pulled Rachel down on top of her so they were both lying down on the mattress, Rachel on top of Quinn.

They kissed intermittently anywhere they could reach without moving as they both recovered, and eventually fell asleep with Quinn's inside Rachel, who was too exhausted to move from her place straddling Quinn's thighs.

''''''''''''''''

Later that evening, after taking yet _another_ shower (which _definitely_ ran longer than the five minute rule) Quinn had kissed Rachel goodbye, kissed Rachel's belly goodbye, and sorrowfully left for her own house.

Originally she had planned on staying the whole weekend at Rachel's, but seeing as she didn't have her cell, and she wanted to retrieve it from Santana early in the morning, they mutually decided that she would go home for the night. The worst part was that Quinn had already got rid of her old phone, and they didn't want to risk using the house phone so they couldn't hear each other's voices that night. They simply repaired this by spending twice as long talking to each other on instant messenger.

When Quinn woke up the next morning, she couldn't ignore the feeling of dread that resided in her chest. She got up, showered, got dressed, walked wordlessly past her parents who were nursing hangovers, and got into her car, arriving twenty minutes later at the Lopez mansion. _And it really is a mansion_ Quinn thought as she trudged up the marble staircase to the front door, ringing the doorbell and shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

Their Ukrainian housekeeper let her in the door with a smile which she struggled to return, before she headed up the stairs to the spoiled girl's room. She took a deep breath when she reached the door, arm outstretched and ready to knock, but before she could, an abrasive voice met her ears.

"I haven't got all day Fab-gay. Get your ass in here!" Wincing at the tease, she took one last deep breath, trying to remember to not give anything away, just listen to what Santana had figured out, before she turned the door knob and stepped inside. She was filled with cold dread as she met the Latina's gaze and saw the cruel mirth around her eyes. _Oh shit._

The brunette made a move and threw Quinn's phone to the girl. She caught it and looked down at the screen, which was opened to the last text message she had received. The message from Rachel.

_I'm can't wait for you to come over tonight baby, I can't wait for you to fill me up, fuck me raw with your huge dick. Knowing I'm having your baby is making me so horny for you, I just want to be filled with your cum. I want it so bad I'm touching myself right now. I'm going to need a shower before you get here. Let yourself in with the spare key above the door, I'll be waiting ;) xxx_

She swallowed hard and looked back up to the smirking Latina.

"Care to explain that?"

''''''''''''''''''

**_Ohhh, what's she going to say?_**

**_How much does she know?_**

**_Even i don't know the answers to those questions yet, but i'll keep you posted._**

**_Also, this kid is gonna need a name. I'd love to hear your suggestions in the comments, as well as anything else you have to say.  
_**

**_Until next time _****_:)_**


	26. Chapter 26

_**Alright everyone, so this is round 2 of Exam Procrastination updates.**_

_**Heard from a couple of new readers this week, so just wanted to say hi, and thanks for reading!**_

_**This chap has the resolution of the Santana thing (kind of) and some filler too set up the next part of the story really. Nothing too dramatic.**_

_**As always, thank you for reading and commenting, i really enjoy reading what you have to say about all this craziness :)**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

_**Chapter 26**_

Quinn swallowed down the immediate urge to vomit as she read the message over and over, hoping there was some room for misinterpretation. There wasn't. Her forehead was beaded with a panicked sweat and she had to grip the device in her hand tightly to stop it from shaking. With burning eyes, she looked back up to the Latina, mouth hanging open, willing it to come up with some kind of excuse of its own accord, but nothing came. Eventually the cold smirk dropped from the dark girl's face, and she stood from where she was leaning against her nightstand. She made her way behind the petrified girl and closed the door, the lock clicking with cold finality.

"Sit" the girl said as she walked back past. Quinn swallowed thickly and moved to sit on the four-poster with her second in command, Santana straight-legged, back against the headboard, Quinn Indian style at the end. There was silence for a moment after they both settled, until Santana rolled her eyes and broke it with a half-hearted smirk.

"You know, your girl has a dirty mind. I like it. If you two aren't serious, then d'you think that I could maybe-"

"_Don't even think about it_. We are. You couldn't tell from the message?" Quinn spat, eyes dangerous. She realized what she had said and sighed. So much for keeping neutral, I guess… Fuck it, who am I kidding, it was never gonna happen.

The blond watched Santana's jaw clench, evidently trying not to lash out at Quinn's rudeness and concentrate on the words she actually said.

"So…I mean…what…how…is that…?" The Latina sighed in frustration. "Fuck, Quinn, what the hell does this all _mean_?" She ran her hand through her hair, trying to calm down. "I mean, you're with a girl?" Quinn desperately wanted to say she wasn't with a girl, but a woman, desperately wanted to say no, she was single and someone was just messing with her, but as she met eyes with the dark girl she couldn't do anything but nod.

"And what about…" this was the part where it all got awkward. "I mean, you know about Britt…" Quinn closed her eyes and nodded, cutting her off. "…and we're no stranger to…like… toys and role-playing and stu-" Quinn cut her off again with a raised hand, her eyes still closed. Santana huffed in irritation before settling back down into her pillows.

"I just…I would have chalked it all up to that, but she said…she said _baby. _She said she's having a _baby._ _Your_ baby!" Santana's voice was escalating now, obviously she was letting her confusion get to her. "That's just not…" she trailed off into silence. "Did she get pregnant before you started…? Because, I mean, that's noble and all Q, but you shouldn't date someone who's tied down with a kid."

The way Santana was looking at her with such sympathy, as if she was legitimately worried that Quinn was ruining her life by being with someone who was having someone else's baby, broke Quinn's resolve. She felt the corners of her eyes prickling and her vision clouded over as she felt warm drops running down her cheeks.

"I…" she choked a little and tried again. "I'm in _love_ Santana. And the baby _isn't_ a reason for us to not be together because _I'm _the one who "tied her down" in the first place!" Quinn balled up her hands in fists as she shouted, scrunching up her eyes as the tears poured.

She was afraid to look up, afraid to see Santana with her phone out ready to call the entire student body, or the police, or the FBI or something. She heard a door open and couldn't bring herself to see where the Latina was going, instead collapsing onto the bed and sobbing into the comforter, wholeheartedly expecting the maid to come and usher her out of the house and as far away from the _normal_ people as possible. What she didn't expect was to feel a gentle hand on her back a few seconds later. She looked up, shocked, to see Santana sitting right next to her on the bed, holding a box of Kleenex and wearing a gentle expression, which only caused her to break into a fresh bout of tears.

She had probably used about half the box by the time she was calm enough to sit up. Still clutching the box to herself, she twisted into a sitting position with her knees to her chest and her arms clasped around them. Slowly, nervously, she looked up at Santana from under her eyelashes. She was sitting Indian-style, one hand absent-mindedly picking at the comforter, the other supporting her chin, looking calmly at Quinn.

"So…how?" she asked quietly, knowing she didn't need to explain her question. The blond's jaw worked mutely for a moment before she stopped herself and stood up. Santana's eyebrow quirked in question and she sat straight. "Where are you going?" Quinn turned around and faced her.

"How _would_ it happen, San?" she asked gently, not trying to start any drama, just trying to get the girl to come to the realization herself. The brunette stuttered for a moment.

"I-I mean…it must…" her eyes widened a little and she locked her jaw, but Quinn spurred her on.

"What, Santana? What do you need to make a baby? What do you think it is? How do you think I did it?"

"You must….you've got…"

"I've got what?" she encouraged. "I didn't plan on getting someone pregnant, and the only way it could've happened without some planning and a turkey baster would be if…? If I had…?"

"A dick?" the girl breathed, wide-eyed.

There was silence between them before Quinn spoke again.

"Do you believe it?" she asked gently. Santana's face twisted into an incredulous expression, and she gestured with her hands as if to say 'how could I' before shaking her head. Quinn sighed gently. "Would you believe it if you saw?" At that, the brown eyes in front of Quinn basically popped out of the girl's skull. She swallowed thickly, before finally looking away in embarrassment and nodding. "OK," Quinn whispered, hands slipping down to her belt. She ignored Santana's blatant staring at her crotch and averted her eyes, trying to get it over with as quickly as possible. As she slid her jeans and underwear down to mid-thigh, Santana noticeably stopped breathing, before rasping

"can…can I touch it?"

"_No!_" Quinn squeeled out angrily, tucking herself back into her jeans hastily and glaring at Santana who had been shocked out of her stupor.

"Alright man-parts! Geez, calm down, it was just a question!" Quinn was going to continue to yell at her, but the Latina looked intensely embarrassed, turning her head away to stare out of the window, and Quinn decided that it had just been a momentary mental lapse and she hadn't really meant to ask.

She stood awkwardly at the end of the bed, shifting her weight from foot to foot for a moment before the task at hand came back to her. Slowly kneeling back on the soft mattress, she called out to the girl in front of her.

"San?" She turned to look at her again.

"She isn't really called Sarah, is she?" This made Quinn choke on the air she had been inhaling.

"W-what? Why would you think that?" she asked, trying (and failing) to be casual.

"Because, Quinn, as common a name as 'Sarah' is, I can't think of a single girl at the school with that name. And you don't really hang out with people from outside of school. Or in school really." Quinn was preparing her incensed rant, when she realized she just couldn't muster the energy to refute the truth. Santana carried on.

"And, I somehow doubt that the girls who go to _your_ church, with all their righteous fervour, would get over the fact that you're A) a girl, and B) wielding a penis." she fixed Quinn with a deadpan expression, and the blond couldn't do anything but sigh.

"No, she's not really called Sarah."

"Wow, codenames, you're smarter than I thought." Santana chuckled. Quinn's face tinged slightly pink.

"It was her idea, actually." Santana nodded slowly with a smirk.

"Ah, that makes more sense. Tell me her name." The sentence was said as an order. In that situation, Quinn knew she was essentially forced to give up any information Santana desired in order to keep her from announcing her secret to the world; after all, that was how blackmail worked. But she could not put Rachel or her child at risk by giving away Rachel's identity to anyone. She could end up jobless or even in prison.

"San," she said imploringly, begging. "I can't." The Latina's eyes darkened dangerously, but Quinn didn't relent.

"Santana, come on. This isn't just me being an asshole and not giving you what you want. I have to protect her, and our child. This isn't just kid-stuff any more, San, this is the big bad world and I can't put them at risk!" The girl's chest was heaving with emotion. She would do anything to protect Rachel and their child, even if it meant Santana telling everyone _on the planet_ that she had a dick and had gotten a girl pregnant. Santana was staring at her menacingly, but she didn't relent, and finally the girl backed down.

"I was hoping you'd say that." she muttered, smiling. Quinn froze, not sure whether she meant 'so I can spill your secrets' or 'so I don't have to spill'. The brunette leaned forwards and grabbed Quinn's hand.

"There aren't many good parents out there Quinn. I know yours aren't exactly attentive, and lord knows mine are barely even aware what my name is. I promised myself that if I ever got the opportunity to have kids, that I would love them, and put them first. I'm glad to know that you'd do the same. I'm glad to know that we don't have to end up like our parents." Santana's eyes were shining with emotion, but Quinn knew better than to try and hug her, so she just squeezed the warm hand in her own.

"So…you're not gonna tell?" Quinn asked quietly. The Latina shook her head and laughed slightly."No, I'm not gonna tell." She sniffed a little and wiped her eyes. Quinn was relieved, but she still had to make sure Santana didn't find out who 'Sarah' actually was. Anyone knowing, even if they didn't intend to tell, put them at more risk.

"I can't believe you're taking this so well." she admitted. The girl in front of her just shrugged.

"I watch a lot of discovery channel" she responded. They both looked at each other and then laughed for a second, before Sanatana flopped sideways onto her bed, and Quinn followed a second later.

"So…is this why you've been…the way you have? All this time? You're always such a bitch to everyone, you never let anyone get close to you, or hang out, since the beginning of high-school. This is why?" Quinn couldn't look Santana in the eyes as she nodded.

"Partly. I mean, I was afraid _all the time_. I mean, I only have…_it_… for a week of the month," the dark girl's eyebrows shot up in confusion. "Oh, um…it's a hormone thing. I mean, you've seen me in the locker room before right?" Santana nodded. "Don't you think you would've noticed?" She nodded, her mind having been blown yet again. Quinn continued. "Uh, anyway, so, like, I was just constantly keeping this secret because I figured everyone would think I was a freak, and it's like, if people think I'm a freak for something I can't help, then they're assholes, so I didn't want to get close to them only to have them ditch me if they found out. But I mean, there's other stuff too. The whole liking girls thing wouldn't have gone down well."

"Why not? Me and Britt do it." Quinn smirked and Santana rolled her eyes. "I meant everyone knows we sleep together and no one cares, you perv." Quinn smiled sadly.

"Yes, but you have someone to love you already. It makes things much less scary. I couldn't be gay and single at school, everyone would think I was trying to rape every girl there." The Latina laughed bitterly and nodded her agreement as Quinn carried on explaining."And, to be honest, I don't really like anyone there. I had to grow up pretty fast dealing with this stuff, and so my taste in just about everything is totally different to everyone else. They don't like stuff I like, I don't like stuff they like, it would've just pissed me off." At this Santana sat up and shook her head slowly.

"You know, Quinn, the closest friends don't have to have the same taste in music, or tv, they just have to respect each other and have each other's backs. So you're gonna have to start trusting me to have yours. And you're gonna have to start having my back, back, OK?" The brunette frowned at the inelegance of her explanation, but fixed Quinn with a stare so formidable the blond couldn't do anything but nod.

They lay in silence for a while before Santana asked her a question.

"Do you think you'll ever tell me who it is?" She sounded almost vulnerable, so Quinn decided to just be honest.

"I think so, maybe in a few months. And I hope you know that I would right now if it was possible, but I have to put them first, y'know?" Santana nodded. "I need you to promise me somethings though." Quinn added. "I need you to not tell Brittney." The girl's mouth opened, about to argue her case, but the blond cut in again. "San. You know she can't keep a secret. Not because she means to tell someone, she just doesn't realise what she's saying. This is _too important._ Please San." The brunette huffed.

"Fine. I mean, it's not really my secret to tell, is it? But will I be able to tell her one day?" Quinn smiled at the brunette's loyalty.

"Of course. Just please, _please_ wait until I tell you it's OK to? Seriously, I need you to swear."

"I swear," Santana gave in with a half-smile.

"Thank you. I also need you to promise me that you _won't _go looking for Sarah, and if you think you know who she is you'll just keep your mouth shut and come to me before you talk to anyone. Can you do that?" the dark-skinned girl nodded at her again.

"I swear." she sent Quinn a reassuring smile, and relaxed back into the mattress.

"Thank you, San. I know I haven't done much to deserve this. But I'm gonna try, OK?"

"You'd better try fucking hard." she grumbled with her eyes closed.

"OK." Quinn smiled as she got up from the bed, swiping her phone up from the comforter. "I'm gonna go home. I need to call 'Sarah' and tell her to call off the hitman anyway" the blond joked as she walked to the door.

"Alright. Listen, I'll see you at school tomorrow, OK friend?" Quinn rolled her eyes at the title, but inside, her heart warmed.

"Alright, friend." She paused with her hand on the doorknob. "Thank you San. You're a good person." The girl smiled at her from the bed.

"Yeah, well don't tell anyone, alright? Now get out of here and call your baby-mama." she yelled smiling.

As the blond walked out of the door, Santana smirked before listening to the front door close, then lunging for her own phone, scrolling down to the S section and changing the contact name 'Sarah' to 'Baby Mama'.

'''''''''''''

Understandably, Rachel was mostly happy with the way things turned out, not only because her identity and her relationship with Quinn were both protected, but because it seemed that Quinn had gotten a friend out of the whole debacle. She was glad, because it eased her guilt about not being able to spend much time with her, and gave Quinn someone to talk to, even hypothetically, about their relationship.

A few weeks on they were doing well, in spite of a few scares here and there. Rachel's morning-sickness was easing off a little now, although her cravings were in full swing. Lucky for Quinn, though, they mostly consisted of stuff that she could keep Rachel's fridge stocked with, and if not, her alcoholic parents were always too far gone to wake up if she snuck out. Most of those times, Rachel was craving something that she really could only get from Quinn, and the blond was _more _than happy to oblige.

After one such occasion on a Friday night, they were basking together in Rachel's bed, content to just lie together and soak up the glow. Quinn had her head on Rachel's thighs and was stroking her stomach, which had only the slightest of curves to indicate her pregnancy, where she imagined their child to be lying. Rachel had her head on the pillows, looking down to where Quinn was so absorbed by her studies.

After the drama of the past few months had subsided, Rachel had been thinking about Quinn and college again. She felt so guilty about the whole thing, and so had been putting off mentioning it for weeks, but she knew that she would have to talk to the girl soon. She didn't want Quinn to just stay in Lima and get some crappy entry-level job to try and support their child; she was better than that. Rachel had enough money for them to be OK, although not well off by any means, and while she knew that Quinn would never agree to breaking up with Quinn or giving up her parental rights so she could go to college guilt free, she wanted Quinn to at least consider going _somewhere_. She shifted restlessly, causing Quinn to break her concentration and meet her eyes.

"Everything OK sweetheart?" She murmured with a smile, hand not stopping its gentle caresses. Her creamy skin was glowing in the soft lamplight, a gentle blush from their previous exertion evident on her skin. Rachel sighed with contentment and smiled at Quinn.

"Everything's fine baby. But there's…there's something I've been putting you off talking to for a while now, and it's important." Quinn's brow raised in surprise. She sat up and reached for Rachel's hand, squeezing it softly as Rachel curled more onto her side to face Quinn better.

"What's going on baby?" the girl asked, slightly nervous, her thumb stroking the side of the brunette's hand.

"Uh…well, just before I found out the baby I…I did a little budgeting and I…well, I figured out a way to get you to Juilliard." At this, Quinn's thumb stopped its gentle motions. Rachel sighed.

"Obviously I can't afford that any more with the baby coming, but…" She looked up into Quinn's eyes. "I'm not just gonna let you rot in this little town when you're worth so much more. I want you to go to college. And I know Juilliard is off the cards now, but I want you to go _somewhere_. When this little one is old enough to go to school we're going to have more time, more freedom to move; we could…you could do a masters, you could do anything. But you would need a degree from somewhere first." Quinn sighed. In honesty she had still been thinking about college too. As selfish as she knew it was to want something that would take money from their child, she still wanted to amount to more than the piano lessons she had taken on teaching after school since she had found out about the baby. Or at least, she had felt selfish until a few weeks ago. She gave Rachel a half hearted smile.

"I…actually I've been wanting to talk to you too. I got a letter from OSU the other day." Rachel's eyebrows raised in interest. "I…I got a full-ride from them. Their music program is…it's decent. I mean it's not great, it's OSU, but they have a pretty interesting Music Theory course on offer. And…they've just started offering it at their Lima campus." Rachel's face was still slightly surprised. She scratched her cheek a little, clearly not as thrilled as Quinn had wanted her to be.

"Um…that's good to know baby." She pursed her lips together for a second, clearly thinking. "Just…I know you don't really want to go there baby. I mean, there is a BIG difference between Juilliard…" She broke off as she watched Quinn's soft hazel eyes tear up.

"Don't you think I know that Rachel?" The girl asked. She was quiet, not angry at all, just sad. The brunette's lips quivered a little as she watched Quinn fall apart, but the girl blinked a few times and shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Like you said, as long as I get a degree from somewhere, I can go on to do a masters somewhere I love when we've got a little more leeway." She built her resolve back up. "But I am NOT going to go to college if it means I have to be away from you and our child for longer than eight hours a day. No overnight absences. So it's that or nothing." There was a heavy silence between them, during which Quinn put her hand back on Rachel's stomach and began to stroke her thumb over it gently. After a moment, Rachel's hand joined it.

"OK baby. I just want you to be happy." Quinn smiled a little.

"I know Rachel. And I will be. I _am_. You two are all I need, anything else is just a bonus." She smiled a little wider and began to play with Rachel's fingers for a moment before the woman pulled her down by the shoulders gently. She rolled onto her back a little more and Quinn snuggled into her side, sighing as Rachel pressed a gently kiss against her forehead. As they both drifted towards sleep, the hand that Quinn had on Rachel's opposite hip slid back onto her stomach, and she knew it was true. She would be happy with just Rachel and their child, whatever she ended up doing.

'''''''''''''''''

**_OK, so there's a few little indications of what's coming up in there. Also, it was kinda spur of the moment to have the OSU music department in Lima. On the show Lima is made out to be a tiny town with like 3.7 people living there or whatever, but as far as i can tell, Lima's pretty big in RL, and there's an OSU campus in RL Lima, although it only has like humanities and nursing. So i took some liberties and put anything Music-y in Lima for this fic. IDK if this will bite me in the ass at a later date, or just sound plain dumb, but i'm sticking with it for now.  
_**

**_Keep the baby name suggestions and stuff coming, i'm rubbish at thinking up stuff like that._**

**__****My last important exam is next Thursday, so i'm going to try and have the regular sunday-ish update next week.**

**__****Just to warn you though, i'm going to Mexico for two weeks from like the 7th, so you won't be getting anything for a little while around then as i'm not gonna take anything with me. I'll try and get as much as i can posted before that for you to enjoy, and after that...well it'll be after the end of the Glee season :( so i'll try and give you stuff to keep you occupied (including footage from the tour when i see them hopefully!).**

**__****Anyway, that's enough rambling from me.**

**__****Until next time ;)  
**


	27. Chapter 27

**_Hey guys,_**

**_so i don't have much time right now, so i have to make this quick._**

**_Sorry for not posting earlier, been having some internet problems._**

**_You're all amazing for reading/commenting/existing._**

**_This one is dedicated to an old/new friend called Baileyrhapsody, who makes me feel like an awful person because she is so awesome, and who writes AMAAAZING fic. Go and read it. All. Now. Before you read this chapter._**

**_Hope you like this chap. It's a little odd. And totally not read through. Sorry :P  
_**

**_Enjoy (:  
_**

**Chapter 27**

She could see it. It was _so_ close. June 4th, Graduation day. Staring at the calendar on her pin board at home, Quinn took in the two spaces between the day she had just crossed off and the one with the thick black circle around it, feeling a strange mix of fear and excitement swirling around her naval; Two days away from freedom, two days away from officially joining the big, bad world, which meant taking full responsibility for her own actions, her decisions, her mistakes.

Downstairs the sounds of Judy cooking and singing to herself were audible. They melded with the low drone of her father's moronic political shows and the peaceful sound of the warm summer evening breezing in through her window to create one of those moments where you just inhale and feel nothing but peace. There was only one jarring note; the packed suitcase at the foot of her bed. Closing her eyes to block out the sight, Quinn took in a lungful of the warm, sweet air, preparing herself to do something by choice that she thought she would never have to do in her life. She heard her mother call up to her that dinner was ready, and, knowing that her parents would already be in the dining room waiting for her, she gently lifted the bag and carried it down the stairs, placing it gently by the front door before swiftly sending a text that she already had written and finally making her way to sit down opposite her mother. She smiled sweetly at Quinn, as did Russell, before they took each other's hands and allowed the man of the house to lead them in the grace. After a soft "amen", the blond took up her fork and began eating, deciding that she could wait until after the meal. After all, it would in all likelihood be the last food made by her mother that she'd ever eat, the last time she'd sit with them around the table; why not keep the peace for a little longer?

For once there was conversation; the warm summer breeze drifting in from the open French doors had her parents in high spirits, and they were even drinking water at the dinner table as opposed to wine. Every once in a while Quinn would look up at her mother and father with a soft smile; she had accepted that she was leaving as soon as she told them what she had to say, and although she wished it wasn't like that, and as miserable as they had often made her, she still loved her parents. In that moment, every single thing in Quinn's life was as close to perfect as possible; her parents were happy and sweet to her, her school life was on a high, having maintained her GPA throughout all the drama of the year, Cheerios had won nationals for the fourth time running, her part time job was as mindless and easy as usual, Rachel and their child were daily making her cry tears of joy, and her friends (meaning her one _actual_ friend) gave her support in spite of herself. With a plate of delicious food in front of her there really was nothing in the world Quinn could have wished for. It was a bitter-sweet moment, and she tried to absorb as much as possible as she finished off her desert and put down her spoon.

She waited for her parents to reach a natural lull in their conversation before clearing her throat. Russell turned his smile towards her; she was almost hesitant to wipe it off his face.

"How about you sweetheart?" He asked jovially. "How are you doing? Excited about graduation?" She smiled at him, nodding, before her mother cut in."Enough of that, what about college? When are you going to put us out of our misery and tell us where you're going?" She asked excitedly. Quinn bit her lip. She was hoping her lead in wouldn't happen quite so quickly, but knew that it was time to bite the bullet.

"Shhh, Judy" her father chided. "She'll tell us when she's ready." Quinn licked her lips.

"It's OK dad, I'm ready." His brow raised as he smiled, and he clasped his hands together in front of his chin.

"I'm…going to OSU dad." the girl said softly. Her father's brow raised even more in surprise.

"OSU baby? You're staying at home?" Her parents' faces both formed smiles. "I didn't think you'd want to stay at home sweetheart, I thought that Columbia-"

"I didn't want to stay at home daddy, but I had to." The man sat up straighter, a look of confusion on his face.

"What do you mean you had to? You got the grades, we know you did." Her mother nodded alongside her father. Quinn tried to stay strong and meet their eyes.

"I know daddy, but I couldn't afford to go to New York." Slowly the man was looking more and more confused, and Russell Fabray didn't like to be confused, so he was also getting gradually more angry.

"What are you talking about Quinn? You know we have plenty of money." His hands were flat on the table, but he was clearly concentrating on keeping them there and not bending his spoon in half.

"I know _you_ have plenty of money daddy. But _I _couldn't afford Juilliard on my own." At this the room went deadly silent.

"Juilliard?" her mother demanded. "What are you talking about Quinnie? Isn't that some kind of-"

"It's an arts school, mom." She cut in before the woman could offend her. She continued. "I was accepted into their Piano program with a partial scholarship, but I couldn't afford the rest of the fees, and I can't get it from anywhere else." The silence surrounding them was deadly, Russell reeling from the news that his daughter had been lying to him. Finally, after a few minutes he growled.

"Good. At least that's over with then. You can stay in Ohio, where we can keep and eye on you, and get a good degree in business-"

"Music." She cut in again. "I'm on the OSU music course. With a full scholarship."

The vein in the man's temple was pulsing hard and fast, and the look of anger on his face was unmistakable. Judy's face was fluctuating between upset and scared at the man beside her. Quinn pressed her lips together and focused on the sound of the car that had just turned into their drive rather than her father's angered breathing, but he broke her focus as he stood up and pounded his fist on the table.

"How _dare_ you! You lie to us, and expect to live under this roof as you waste your life doing something worthless? Well, I'm telling you that that is NOT what's going to happen." He shrugged his wife away as she stood to try and calm him before continuing.

"You can either change your major to something _worthwhile_, or you can get the hell out of my house!" he roared, breaking the peaceful night down the middle. Quinn swallowed slowly and stood, facing her father proudly.

"You're wrong." She stated calmly. Russell was so shocked at her defiance he couldn't reply, so she continued. "You're wrong, music isn't worthless, it makes me happy. It's the only thing that made me happy for a long time and then you tried to take it away from me. And I refuse to let you do it again." There was a momentary pause, but she ploughed ahead. "And you're wrong about me expecting to live here too. I wouldn't expect that even if I _was_ conforming to exactly what you want me to do. There was no way I ever expected you to let me stay here." Both her parents faces broke from their upset to flicker back to confusion, but neither could form words. "Because I've got a pregnant girlfriend to look after and I can't do that from here."

For a moment she thought that both her parents were going to have simultaneous heart attacks; they both stopped breathing and their eyes went wide. "You always said my condition was unnatural, and it would lead to trouble. Well, dad, I guess you were right." Tears were streaming silently down her cheeks, but she refused to hide them, or to let them stop her from speaking. This was her last chance to really speak to them before they completely disowned her.

"I'm going to have a child, a child who I already love more than my own life, and whose mother I love too. And the reason I can't go to Juilliard is because of that child. But I don't care, because out of everything in the world the only thing I want is for my kid to be happy.

"I can't understand how you'd get so upset over me wanting to play music instead of doing something you want, but _my_ child can do whatever the hell they want to do with their life and I'll be **damn proud **of them. I don't care if I don't get what I want, if you refuse to ever speak to me again, if I'm stuck in some dead-end job; **my** child will be _loved_."

Quinn clenched her jaw defiantly and refused to look away from her daddy's staring eyes. He was purple and shaking with pure rage, and her mother looked like she was feeling physically sick. She knew that was the way the situation was going to go, but it still hurt her to see. Eventually Russell summoned enough strength to say a single word to her.

"Out. Leave your phone and your keys."

Although Quinn was expecting that reaction (after all, she had already cleared out most of the belongings she wanted to keep over the past week or so), when she heard those words said with such menace, something inside her broke. Her tears fell a little more freely, and she looked down at the table, nodding, her lips quivering. She turned away to leave but couldn't help but turn back.

"I….I'm sorry I was never enough for you" she whimpered. She knew her dad was beyond hearing at this point and so turned to her mother. "I love you guys, even if…. you don't love me." With that, she turned and took long fast strides to the front door, tearing it open to see Santana sitting playing with her keys on the front step. The girl got up and squeezed Quinn's shoulder gently as she quickly passed to pick up the suitcase by the door, knowing that it was important to make their getaway before Russell regained his senses and things got really ugly. There was time for consoling Quinn once she got back to Santana's house.

The Latina closed the door and grabbed Quinn's hand in one of her own, wheeling the suitcase with the other. She opened the passenger door for the blond before throwing her bag in the back, jogging over to the driver's side and hitting the gas.

''''''''''''

At her fathers' house, Rachel was trying and failing to fight a full-on panic attack. She had barely managed three bites of her dinner, and had been pacing for most of the day, thinking about the phone conversation that they'd had a couple of days previously.

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey daddy, it's me." Rachel smiled weakly as Quinn held her hand. They had agreed mere minutes before that they would both tell their parents about the situation, same time, same day, and now Rachel needed to call her fathers and tell them to expect her. She squeezed back when she heard her daddy's enthusiasm at hearing her._

"_Baby-girl, hey! I was just thinking about you!" The man rambled for a few moments, and Rachel just listened quietly as he spoke. Finally he invited her back into the conversation._

"_So, how are you, sweetheart? Ready to take a break I'll bet." The brunette rolled her eyes and laughed dryly._

"_You have no idea." The man laughed and she paused for a moment before another squeeze from Quinn caused her to continue. "Actually, daddy, there's something that I want to talk to you about. Well, both of you. I wanted to maybe come to dinner on Wednesday night so we could talk?" She bit her lip nervously as she waited for her dad to reply._

"…_Of course baby girl, you know we'd love to see you." She sighed._

"_Maybe not after this daddy." Quinn shot her a sad smile and moved her hand to wrap around the woman's waist. There was silence on the other end of the phone before the man cleared his throat._

"_Is this…about the thing from Christmas baby?" Rachel exhaled, relieved he knew that whatever it was she needed to say to them had been troubling her._

"_Yes, daddy, it is. It's finally time to be honest with you. I want to talk to you guys face to face about everything that's going on. I just hope you won't be too disappointed in me." She knew that her father was struggling with himself to not just dismiss the idea of them being disappointed, because he knew that, while dramatic, his Rachel wasn't unreasonable. He shifted in the chair he was sitting in._

"_Babygirl, whatever it is, we'll get through it, OK?" The brunette woman felt the tears that had filled her eyes drop slightly before she blinked them away and nodded._

"_OK daddy. I'll see you on Wednesday. I love you both."_

"_We love you too Rachel. See you soon." As soon as the man hung up, Rachel dropped the phone and curled into Quinn's comforting body._

Sadly, now was the time to bite the bullet and tell them exactly what was going on, and as much as she wished Quinn could be there to hold her hand, Rachel knew that it wouldn't be fair on her fathers to bring Quinn and spring something so unexpected on them. So they had decided to inform their parents at the same time so as to get it out of the way. 'Like ripping of a band-aid' she had said to Quinn as they lay quietly on the couch together. Of course, Rachel planned on telling her parents the _whole_ truth, including who Quinn was, whereas if Quinn had told her parents she had no doubt that Rachel would have been arrested by the end of the night. Part of Rachel thought she might deserve it.

The men in front of her exchanged a glance as she stood in front of them, and a muffled cough from Hiram brought her back to the present. She looked up at them sitting next to each other on the couch, suddenly suppressing the urge to smile. They were holding hands, and although they looked worried, the way they leaned towards each other for support made her smile; not many couples lasted like her fathers had. She hoped that she and Quinn could one day reach that point.

Shaking her head she tried to focus. They had already eaten dinner, and now there was nothing else to put of the inevitable. She cleared her throat, but Leroy broke the silence, sensing she needed some help to get started.

"How did you enjoy dinner baby?" Rachel smiled and had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. It was like something out of 'Breaking Tension for Dummies'.

"It was nice thank you daddy. Sorry I didn't eat more of it, its just…I guess I'm a little nervous about this." She noted the two men's hands squeeze and steeled herself. "You guys remember that I was pretty upset at Christmas?" She asked. They nodded wordlessly.

"I Haven't seen you cry like that for a long time, maybe even since middle school. I was worried for you sweetheart." Hiram said quietly. Rachel pressed her lips together and nodded.

"Then I guess you know that it's serious." The two men met eyes before nodding again. "I just…please just try to keep an open mind?" She begged softly.

"Of course we will baby girl. As far as people living in Ohio go, we're probably the most open-minded people you'll find. Nodding softly, Rachel looked at her feet, hoping it would be open-minded _enough. _She took a deep breath.

"Dad, Daddy… I'm in love." She didn't know how to continue, and had to pause, causing her fathers to be confused.

"But baby, that's great news" Leroy announced as a wide smile stretched across his face.

"That's not the problem dad." She met his eyes, trying to gauge how to best put it. "She's…only eighteen." Hiram's brow furrowed a little, but the smile on his face from the news before was still present so it seemed more as if he was confused why Rachel was worried. She knew they wouldn't have a problem with an age difference. She shut her eyes. "She's still in high school. _McKinley _high school_._" She kept her eyes shut, praying that she would just be swallowed into oblivion. After a few moments though, Hiram spoke.

"You're in love with…with a student?" Rachel opened her eyes and bit her lip, wincing. She nodded.

The two men were obviously troubled by this, and Hiram shifted uncomfortably, but Leroy tugged on his hand and, through the silent communication they had learned over years of being together, they came to an agreement. Leroy took a deep breath and spoke.

"Uh…well baby, that's not…ideal, but as long as you don't act on it there's nothing-" the man cut himself off as Rachel shook her head at him, indicating that she _had_, in fact, acted on it. He fell silent, not sure what to say in response.

Rachel could only let the silence go on for a few moments before her conscience told her that she needed to be completely honest with them,

"Dad, Daddy, I…I don't know how to put this gently…I'm so sorry….I'm pregnant." At this admission, both men's eyes shot wide open. Leroy's mouth hung open as he gasped, and Hiram's brows shot up somewhere above his hairline. Her dad then shook his head.

"Baby, no. It's…I mean I bet you don't even know for…" he trailed off as Rachel raised her shirt a little by the hem and showed them that her once flat belly was now showing the distinctive low-sitting, firm curve of pregnancy. The man paled and bit his lip, then after a few moments slowly got up to go into the kitchen. Rachel heard him pouring a glass of water. In front of her, Leroy was still sitting silently, but upon hearing Hiram pull a chair out from the kitchen table and sit down, the man snapped out of his daze long enough to go and join his husband in the kitchen. Rachel stayed where she was, wiping a slow-falling tear from her cheek with a sleeve. She curled up on the couch, tucking her feet up and resting her chin on her knees with her arms wrapped around them. She heard low murmuring coming from her fathers, but tried her best to ignore it.

She occupied herself with thoughts of Quinn, wondering how she was doing. She considered calling, but knew that in all likelihood the girl would no longer be in possession of her phone. The next thing she knew, a gentle hand was rocking her shoulder; apparently she had fallen asleep on the sofa which she had been sitting on, and Hiram was gently rocking her awake. She looked up at him, her eyes instantly going watery again, but she held the tears back. He sat on the coffee table in between the sofa and the Loveseat, and Leroy took a seat next to her as she sat up, pulling her sleepy form into his side.

"I'm so sorry dad" she said sincerely as she looked at the man in front of her. He leaned forward and rested his hand on her cheek.

"I know baby. It's OK. We just needed a little time, you now?" Here I am thinking my daughter's a lesbian, and then next thing I know she's gotten pregnant by a teenage boy." Hearing the man's words, Rachel bit her lip in surprise.

"Uh- Actually…." Both men had their surprised faces back on. Rachel cleared her throat, a little embarrassed. "Um, look, it's kind of involved, but Quinn is very much a girl. Just, with some…differences" she ended kind of lamely and regarded her fathers' perplexed features.

"OK, no, you're gonna have to get technical with us here baby. Is she trans?" Leroy asked straightforwardly, apparently confused enough to not let the shock bother him any more. Rachel rolled her eyes. _What else did I expect?_

"No, she's not trans. I guess technically she's inter, but literally only in that she has the extra…ah, equipment? And it's only visible for like five days of the month so…" She closed her eyes and though of the blond for a moment. Smiling slightly as she conjured the image of the girl's smiling face "She's honestly the most beautiful girl I've ever seen daddy. She takes my breath away."

The power of their daughter's statement gave the men pause for thought, which led them back to thinking about the inappropriateness of the relationship.

"I just…I don't really know what to say Rachel." Hiram mumbled, turning his head. "She's your _student._ I mean, couldn't you have just tried to stay away?" Rachel laughed dryly.

"I tried dad. _God_ how I tried. I was giving her theory lessons, I told her we should stop meeting, she begged me to let us at least talk on the phone. The more we tried to stay away, the more we let the moments we _did_ have get out of hand. Then I got sick and she came over to look after me, she took me on the most amazing date I've ever been on, and things escalated. I went to her parents' place so she could give me her gift afterwards, and her parents came back unexpectedly. Almost caught us. After that I got scared and tried to break it off again, that was Christmas eve." The two men looked more and more troubled the more Rachel said.

"So that's what you were talking about then? All the moral vs. social issues you were talking about?" Leroy asked. She nodded.

"I was trying so hard to figure out if I was doing the right thing, or if I was just taking advantage and letting my feelings get the better of me. But she wouldn't let me go daddy, and I couldn't let her go either.

"I don't think of her as a student, I just think of her as Quinn; beautiful, sad, kind, _amazing_ Quinn, the woman I'm in love with." As Rachel continued to ramble, her lips began to quiver. She pressed them together as her eyes welled with tears. Neither of the men in front of her would meet her eyes. She felt desperation grip her.

"Please, dad, daddy, I know- I _know_ this is a lot to take in. But when it comes down to it, I love her, and she loves me; enough that right now she's most likely being kicked out of her home by her parents for loving me, and for refusing to abandon _our child_." She sobbed, breathing heavily, trying to get the men to understand.

"You said yourselves, sometimes even the law is wrong. We haven't done anything wrong!" She could feel herself getting hysterical, and stopped talking in an effort to calm herself. On the couch, Hiram clutched at his _life partner_'s hand and sighed.

"We're trying, baby, we really are." Rachel nodded tearfully to indicate she understood, eyes imploring. Finally calming down, she looked at the clock above the mantel and sighed; it was getting late and she still had to drive all the way back to Lima. She wiped her eyes with a sleeve over her palm and took a shaky breath, but before she could think about getting up, her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and saw an unrecognised number. Frowning, she looked to her parents, who nodded that she should answer it.

"Hello?" She asked confusedly.

"_Baby? It's me."_ As Quinn's gentle voice met her ears, Rachel felt herself relax a little.

"Quinn. I'm so glad it's you. I needed to hear your voice.

As the two spoke, Rachel missed her dads making faces at one another until Leroy reached forward and rapped against the table to get her attention. Rachel regarded him, her brow furrowed."Put it on speaker please." The man asked, more as an order than a question. The woman looked more confused than ever.

"Hold on a second baby, I'll be right back." Covering the mouthpiece with her hand she shot a look at the two of them. "What? You want to listen in on our conversation? That is completely disrespectful!" She exclaimed, but Hiram cut her off.

"Sweetheart, we've never even heard of the girl until today and now we find out she's the… other parent… of our grandchild. We just want something to gauge her by. I know it isn't ideal, and we're not trying to invade your privacy, but please try and see this from our perspective?"

Rachel deliberated for a few moments before wincing as she hit the speaker button.

"OK, sweetheart, I'm here." she said out into the living room, glowering at her parents. Quinn's soft, raspy, comforting voice filled the air once again.

"_What happened baby?" _she inquired gently.

"Just some stuff with my parents." She said, scowling at them again.

"_Is it going to be OK, Rach?" _she asked nervously. Leroy and Hiram both exchanged a worried glance. Did this Quinn girl see Rachel as a maternal figure there to reassure her? Was this misplaced emotion?

"_I mean, I expected a crappy reaction from my parents, but from what you've told me you guys are so close. I really don't want to be the reason they turn into my parents." _Rachel bit back a laugh at the softening expressions on the faces of her fathers. Clearly they approved of Quinn worrying about their relationship.

"I don't know baby, I hope so. I'm hoping they just need time. I mean, it's a lot to take in, y'know? But they once said to me that as long as I haven't raped, killed or hurt anyone then there's nothing to be ashamed of. I just hope they remember that." Rachel intoned, looking directly into their eyes.

"_I'm sure they'll be alright Rach. I mean, who could get upset with someone as _amazing_ as you anyway?"_ Rachel blushed at the girl's sweet words, which Hiram and Leroy picked up quietly.

"Clearly your amazingness is rubbing off on me" Rachel chuckled, needing to always tell Quinn how she felt. "Are you OK Quinn? What happened with your parents?" There was a long sigh on the end of the phone.

"_It pretty much went down how we thought they would. They threatened to kick me out for studying music, they really kicked me out when I told them I got someone pregnant. Told me to leave my phone and keys and get out."_ The two men didn't notice it, but Rachel heard the soft waver in her voice.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. They have no idea about who they'll be missing." She heard a sniffle at the other end of the line.

"_It's OK baby. I knew it was coming. And compared to you and our little jellyfish in there, they're dirt. I would give them up for you and our child every single time Rachel_" The brunette forgot about her parents' presence as she replied.

"You're all I need baby." There was a momentary pause as they took comfort in each other. "You gonna be OK tonight sweetheart?"

"_I think so. I'm in Santana's car at the moment, she's taking me to her place."_

"Ah, so that's whose phone you're using. I wondered who was calling…sweetheart, is it a good idea to call me from her phone?"

"_She already had your number in the phone. 'In case of an emergency' she said. I figure if she's already had your number for weeks and hasn't done anything to try and figure out who you are, we don't have anything to worry about now."_ Rachel's eyes closed in relief.

"OK. So you'll be alright?"

"_Yeah, I think so. I mean, I'll be better when I get to see you, but seeing as you've instated this _ridiculous_ ban until after graduation, I guess I'll just have to wait for my hug, won't I?"_ The brunette rolled her eyes.

"Quinn, don't you dare guilt me about this. _You _suggested it in the first place because you thought it would be stupid to get found out this close to being home free!"

"_Aw, c'mon, one hug when I get back? Pretty please?"_ Rachel knew that Quinn was doing her pouty face even over the phone.

"No. Stop pouting. The physical appearance of the please makes no difference."

_"Did you just quote Despicable Me at me?"_

"Yes. No hug. You get your hug after graduation." Quinn sighed.

"_Fine. But this had better be one _HELL _of a hug. And it'd better be na-"_ Eyes widening, Rachel cut the girl off before she could totally embarrass her without realizing.

"Quinn! I promise, as long as you drop it." The girl huffed like a teenager, but then chuckled a little.

"Fine." They were silent for a moment before the weight of the situation caught up with them again. "Quinn? I'm sorry that it happened like this. With your parents and everything."

"Me too baby. But we'll be OK."

"Yes. We will. I should probably start home, so I should go. I love you Quinn."

"OK. Love you too Rachel. Drive safe. Bye."

They both hung up, and Rachel took a couple of deep breaths before getting up out of her chair.

"Happy now?" Neither man replied, and Rachel sighed, calming herself again. "I really should go. I'll give you some time to…yeah." The woman picked up her keys from the coffee table and walked away, almost surprised when her dads followed her to the front door. They stood for a moment before the two wrapped their arms around her at the same time.

"We love you Rachel. Remember that." Hiram whispered to her. They stepped away again. "We'll call you in a few days, OK?" Rachel nodded gently, her eyes shining with hope that things would be OK. As she stepped out into the warm night, Leroy called "Invite Quinn for dinner sometime. She seems nice." Rachel felt a smile split across her face as she turned back to them and nodded, then got into her car, exhausted, but elated.

'''''''''''''''''

**_OK, so I'm going to Mexico for two weeks on tuesday, and it's unlikely i'll be able to post while i'm there. Might try and scratch out a chap of _something _before i leave, but might not be able to. Will also maybe take the laptop so i can write while i'm there and have an update palooza when i get back._**

**_Feel free to comment on anything at all, including but not limited to the fic, G!P or whatever hijinx Achele are getting up to on the tour._**

**_Until next time :)  
_**


	28. Chapter 28

**_Hey everyone. _**

_**So i apologize for taking so long to update. I'm also gonna apologize now because this is SHORT. Like, maybe half a chapter short.**_

**_Between getting sick in mexico and some other stuff that i don't really want to discuss, i'm really struggling to update._**

**_I'm so sorry, because i know how irritating it is when people just stop updating or update like once a month, but i'm just finding it impossible at the moment. I also am (sadly) getting a bit sick of this story, i really want to do something new, but i know that if i do i'll never come back to this and i would hate myself._**

**_All that being said, this chapter does have some redeeming qualities i hope; I'll see what you think._**

_**I know there's not much here, but i thought that you'd be happy to just see *something***_**,****_ and i also thought if i just started a chapter fresh then i would get a bit further, so i'm posting this to get rid of it basically._****  
**

_**Enjoy**_

**Chapter 28**

Graduation day had, in a strange kind of way, been a blast for Quinn. Living at Santana's house was an experience to say the least, and that morning was no exception. She woke up at the crack of dawn to the biggest breakfast she had ever seen, and Santana's parents, who she had also never seen, sitting across the breakfast table. No questions were asked about who Quinn was or why she was there, they just sat down and ate, chatting happily about anything. Santana's parents were often not around, but it seemed that they had a happy relationship with their daughter when they were home, at least that's how it seemed to Quinn; as if the details didn't matter, when they were together they were happy together. After breakfast the girls had jumped in the (extremely large) pool and, as any competitive teenage girls would have, raced each other backwards and forwards, until Brittney had arrived with _strong_ margaritas.

The blond had sort of become Quinn's friend by proxy. Although they had never really spoken to each other (Quinn had noted how absent-minded she was when they first met, found it irritating and decided not to bother with her from that point on) Brittney's relationship with Santana had made Quinn see the taller girl's good points. She was completely non-partisan, and judged everyone by her own standards rather than the world's, which Quinn was honestly glad for because she was much more forgiving than the rest of the world. When it became apparent that Santana had spilled the information about Quinn's condition, it only took Quinn five minutes to realize that the girl treated her in exactly the same way as she had before. After Santana had sworn on her life that the ditzy girl wouldn't share the news with anyone else, Quinn kind of saw it as a blessing. She had two people she could talk to, two real friends. Even if she really hadn't talked about it, she had the option to, and that felt good.

When they finally finished their margaritas and abandoned floating around, they each showered and got dressed (Quinn noted that unless they showered insanely fast for eighteen year old girls, Santana and Brittney had clearly both got in Santana's shower at the same time, as there was only one shower available to them and they were done by the time she got back) and finally gotten into their clothes and robes and Santana had driven them to school. The ceremony was a blur; Quinn found herself seated in a position where she could see Rachel, and was too busy staring at her and fantasizing about their evening to realize that her name had been called until someone nudged her (none too gently) in the back. She walked up, shook hands with Figgins, caught sight of a blinding smile from Rachel, and was too distracted to notice a woman with perfectly coiffed blond hair walk away from where she was standing at the back after Quinn had received her diploma.

Afterwards, Quinn had returned to Santana's and helped set up for the after party, which, Upon Rachel's insistence, she had agreed to attend for a few hours. 'Don't refuse someone who's done so much for you baby' she had said. In fairness, Quinn did actually have fun, played some volleyball in the pool and had even been hoisted onto Puck's shoulders for a game of chicken at one point, (making her glad it wasn't her time of the month) but she was anxious to get away. She excused herself with Santana, giving the Latina a meaningful look and telling her not to expect her back any time soon, received a nod and a lascivious grin, texted Rachel to tell her she was on her way over and finally found herself standing outside Rachel's apartment for the first time in what felt like forever. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed the key and let herself in, stopping dead in her tracks at the sight before her.

Rachel was sitting on the kitchen counter, completely naked, legs spread wide, head thrown back in pleasure, spare hand gripping the counter, and fingers pounding furiously in and out of her dripping pussy, which, because of where she was sitting, was directly in Quinn's line of sight. The blond could feel her pupils dilate with lust as she slammed the door closed without looking away. She felt her panties instantly soak through, and with a desperate groan, marched across the room, snatching Rachel's fingers and pulling them out, then slowly bent until she sucked them into her mouth. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she moaned loud as the salty-sweet substance swirled around her mouth. Rachel watched hungrily as Quinn's mouth had neared her fingers, feeling her back arch as the warm lips encased them.

The blond, releasing Rachel's fingers, pushed the woman back, and with no preamble, shoved two fingers into Rachel's dripping heat and sucked her clit into her mouth at the same time.

"Fuck, baby!" Rachel moaned as Quinn pounded into her, squealing as the girl put pressure on her clit with her teeth. "Oh jesus fucking christ baby - unf - I've been thinking about you all day, teasing myself - ahh - since I got home. I've been wet for you fooooor-" she broke off as Quinn added a third finger without warning and curled them up. "…For hours," She rasped, chest heaving and breasts glistening with a sheen of sweat in the harsh light of the kitchen. All of a sudden, Quinn pulled her fingers and mouth completely away, and looked up at the brunette.

"Rachel?" she asked, panting, chin covered in liquid. The teacher mustered the energy to look up at Quinn in between her legs, confused and panting. The blond's eyes darkened. "Shut up." With that, she slammed in all three fingers back in and sucked her clit harder than Rachel thought possible. The brunette screamed as her back arched almost in two and all of her muscles went rigid. She stopped breathing, stopped thinking and stopped feeling anything but Quinn's tongue flicking her clit where it was clamped between her teeth. The blond kept pounding inside as Rachel began shaking. Finally Rachel's body unlocked and she fell back onto the counter, exhausted, but Quinn's fingers didn't let up.

Rachel's grunts and moans were turning Quinn on like never before, and seeing the slight curve of Rachel's belly where their child was growing made the blond feel possessive and want nothing more than totally own Rachel.

"Baby, oh god…" Rachel moaned. Quinn removed her mouth and looked up, keeping her fingers moving.

"You want me to stop?" she said warily.

"Fuck, no - Ah! Never - n-never stop, baby, please." Quinn grinned and dove back down, sucking hard on Rachel's clit. Her moan escalated into a scream as the blond curled her fingers over and over again, relishing each strangled moan and grunt that the woman created.

'''''''''''

Hours later, they were stretched lazily across Rachel's bed, the brunette lying on her back, completely naked apart from a sheet wrapped messily around her hips and thighs, Quinn still in black panties, but nothing else, unless the marks from Rachel's teeth and nails counted, on her side with her leg wrapped over the small of Rachel's back, foot against her hip. They hadn't been able to speak for a couple of hours, instead anytime they tried to verbalize all that came out were wild moans and breathless whimpers.

Rachel's eyes were closed, and her breathing was still heavy, but Quinn was watching her with a smile, softly stroking her hair. Eventually Rachel managed to pry her eyes open, and return the loving stare that Quinn was fixing her with. She smiled and lifted a hand to hold on to Quinn's hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing it gently, then lowering it to rest over her heart, never tearing her eyes from the blond's.

"We're free" Quinn said, slightly teary. "We made it through, now we can be true to who we are." At her words, Rachel felt the corners of her eyes prickle, and twisted until her temple was resting against the blond's chest.

"We are, baby. I love you. I love you so much Quinn."

"I love you too Rachel, forever." Rachel closed her eyes again, her nose crinkling with a smile and the effort of holding back her tears as Quinn's hand slid with hers down to her stomach, feeling the life that they had created.

"And we love you too baby" Quinn said softly. They curled together and moments later they were both asleep, holding each other.

''''''''''

The next morning, as they chatted over vegan waffles, Rachel's eyes brightened with the realization of something. After Quinn had swallowed her last bite and licked her lips particularly zealously, a smirk on her face, Rachel adjusted the sheet-toga she was wearing and took Quinn's hand, leading her towards the double doors on the other side of the room.

Quinn's eyebrows lifted as she was dragged over; in all the time she had spent at Rachel's house, she had never been in there. Rachel had told her there was nothing in there because she felt no need for a formal dining area, and Quinn had, as a general rule, been too occupied to look around the house.

Reaching the doors, Rachel pushed on them and threw them open, revealing a large, comfortable-looking armchair, a bookcase, a door off to the side leading to a half bath, and, against the wall opposite where they were standing, a beautiful, if slightly worn, upright piano, with the words 'J. Feurich, Leipzig' emblazoned in silver across the front.

When Quinn saw it, her eyes almost popped out of her head they were so wide.

"Is...Rachel is that..."

"Your graduation gift baby," Rachel said with a beaming grin as she held on to Quinn's hand. The blond turned to her, her face totally stoney.

"What?"

"It's yours sweetheart, a gift for doing so well." At Rachel's words, Quinn's eyes widened again.

"Rachel! This is a Feurich piano, it's worth...i can't even...it's too much Rachel! We need the money for the baby!" At that point, Quinn was gesticulating wildly, holding her head, and walking towards the piano one step at a time while looking back at Rachel every other step.

"Baby, it's ok! Calm down. It was my grandmother's, my dads have had it in storage forever." Quinn looked back at the piano.

"You can't give me your grandmother's piano, Rach, i'm not even family..." She trailed off at the look Rachel gave her. The woman stalked forwards before tightly grabbing Quinn's face and kissing her roughly, pulling away just as Quinn started to respond.

"Yes. You. Are." Rachel panted heavily as she continued to hold Quinn's face, pressing their foreheads together. "You are family. From now until forever. OK" Quinn's face crumpled a little from happy tears, as she slipped her hands up Rachel's arms to cover the brunette's hands on her cheeks.

"OK." She paused for a moment, rolling her head to look at the beautiful instrument. "But Rachel, if we get it restored, we could get a lot of money from it if we sold it." Rachel fixed the blond with a 'what the fuck did you just say' look.

"Quinn, i'm not selling my grandma's antique piano. Plus, you need a piano, we don't have the money to buy you a new one and you _clearly_ love this one. So shut up and accept my gift." The blond's eyes were wide, staring at Rachel again before the teacher rolled her eyes and dragged the girl over to the bench.

"I had it tuned a few days ago. It should be OK." They sat next to each other on the bench as, slowly, gingerly, Quinn allowed her fingers to rest just on top of the keys. Closing her eyes, she allowed her middle finger to depress the middle E. The sound rang throughout the room beautifully, and Rachel could swear she felt the girl next to her shiver a little bit with happiness. Rachel smiled and leaned her head against Quinn's shoulder as the girl ran scales and arpeggios, just enjoying the quality of the sound. Slowly, Rachel could feel Quinn falling more and more in love with the instrument. The blond turned her head towards Rachel, pushing her away from her shoulder so she could envelope her in a warm, tight hug, full of emotions she couldn't express.

When they pulled away, Quinn's attention went right back to the key board, like a kid with an obsession. Smiling amusedly, Rachel pressed a soft kiss to Quinn's cheek before getting up, pulling the sheet that they had been sharing away, and wrapping herself up in the armchair with her feet tucked underneath her. Quinn didn't even seem to realize she was sitting at the bench in just a pair of black lace underwear, she was too occupied with the piano.

To Rachel, seeing Quinn sitting there, so overjoyed, the morning light streaming in through the floor to ceiling glass window and lighting her golden hair, edging her perfect breasts in silver, there was nothing more beautiful in the world.

The brunette thought that for approximately six seconds, until Quinn closed her eyes and began to play, at which point she somehow became more beautiful than before. Rachel let her head drop back to the soft cushion of the armchair as she recognized Lizst's _La Campanella, _and let the beautiful, dramatic music wash over her. She found herself unconsciously rubbing her belly, a smile on her face, as she listened to Quinn play.

_If i could spend every day like this, i would have no complaints _she thought, hearing Quinn's satisfied sigh as she came to the end of the piece.

**_Alright, so apologies but that's it for now, although i did actually add a little when i was posting._**

**_Until next time  
_**


	29. Author's Note

**_Hi there,_**

**_So first, i want to apologize if i got your hopes up that this is a new chapter. In fact this couldn't be more opposite if you tried._**

**_I think some of you might have sensed that this was coming; I'm sorry to say that I am officially putting all of my writing on a hiatus as of right now._**

**_I just don't know how i can continue writing at the moment when most days i struggle to get out of bed. It's becoming a pointless exercise to try and motivate myself to write, and i can't make you keep waiting for an update that isn't coming._**

**_I'm really sorry, but it just isn't going to work._**

**_At the moment i wholeheartedly intend to finish it at some time, but i don't know how long it will take me to get over this phase of my life, so don't hold your breath._**

**_Apologies again,_**

**_IP  
_**


	30. Author's Note Redux

Guess who's back bitches?

OK, so I'm not 100% "back" yet, technically I haven't actually started writing a new chapter. I need to go back and read through so I can remind myself of what happened, but I figured if I put this update here then people will be expecting something and I'll have to get going.

I have to say I'm really not past what made me stop writing in the first place, so I can't guarantee that I'll update as often as once a week like I used to, but I'll try and update more than once every six months (*cough*I'll Be*cough* - teehee I love that fic, but I am DYING here!)

I've had a lot of great people reviewing, checking in, and a really great friend who supported me through it all. I recently kind of fucked stuff up with her though, and I think that's partially what's got me back to writing – IDK an update is not really worthy of being an apology, but it's kind of my way of showing my gratefulness and respect to her.

Anyway, hold on tight and I'll be back with some pregnant!teacher!Rachel and G!P!student!Quinn as soon as I can. Much love to everyone.

IP


	31. Chapter 31

_**God, don't you just hate reading your own work? I got one chapter in and wanted to re-write the entire thing.**_

_**More importantly, OMG! I can't believe how many comments I got in the space of a few hours from people excited about me writing again. I feel pretty special, I'll tell ya. You're all some beautiful, beautiful people.**_

_**I especially want to say a big thank you to eternallymontyp right now. You kept me going, kept me thinking, and I really appreciate you going out of your way to check up on me, even though I'm really not the most forthcoming person on the planet and you didn't get anything out of doing it.**_

_**There are many others who have offered their ears too, and I appreciate you all. There are many, MANY problems with fandoms in general, and with glee, but this fandom is full of people who show concern and kindness for a complete stranger, and I'm so glad because you helped in many ways. I may not be fixed all of a sudden, but I'm moving again, so thank you :D **_

**_Especially _YOU, _my friend. _Who is awesome and forgiving and edited this because she is a bamf full of love and joyful wisdom. **

_**OK, so with only a little further ado, I present to you: The Epilogue!**_

_**Now I know I said I'd go a lot further, but I've gotten a lot of comments, both when I first stopped writing, and since I made my last A/N, telling me that they actually thought the story ended there, and perhaps I should do that.**_

**_After much deliberation, I have decided that that is _exactly_ what I'm going to do. So this will be the epilogue to DH, and the story will continue very soon in the sequel: Distance/Proximity_**

_**Thank you everyone for sticking with it. It's been a long and interesting road for my first multi-chap, and I hope the next one will be even better xxx**_

"Oh, shit. Oh shit oh shit. Quinn!" Rachel moaned as Quinn fucked her deep and slow from behind.

The brunette was completely naked, Quinn still in boxers and a beater.

Rachel bit her lip, eyes screwed shut as pleasure coursed through her. They were sitting on the armchair by the piano, Rachel on Quinn's lap with her legs spread over the blonde's thighs, holding her weight on the arms of the chair. Quinn's hands massaged her hips and her slightly swollen belly, controlling Rachel's slowly rolling hips, sometimes tugging at her hair and nipples.

"Fuck, baby, don't stop grinding me" Quinn growled against the brunette's ear, trembling as she held back her orgasm by biting the lobe. Ever since she started showing signs of being pregnant, Rachel had loved having her ear bitten. She shivered in delight as Quinn scraped her teeth down to her shoulder before screaming out as the blonde bit the flesh between her neck and her shoulder.

"You're so deep right now, you're so deep" Rachel gasped as yet again Quinn's member brushed against her G spot. "I want it harder, faster" the teacher panted as she reclined back into Quinn and the young woman wrapped one arm around her chest and one around her hips. "I want your cum."

"Yes ma'am," Quinn smirked as she began lifting the woman and rocking her own hips, meeting hard in the middle. Rachel groaned every time they met, causing Quinn to whimper at the sound.

"You're so sexy, so fucking sexy. I want you to cum, Rachel." The blonde moaned as her hand slipped through Rachel's wiry curls and onto her slick clit.

"Oh god, I will"

"C'mon, cum for me, cum on my dick."

"Ahhhiiiiii…will, oh god I am! Fuck, cum with me, Quinn!" They both began trembling as they gave in to their pleasure, Quinn's hips tensing each time she ejaculated, in turn causing Rachel to spasm as the younger woman unconsciously thrusted.

They both fell back, exhausted as their mixed juices dripped down Quinn's shaft and onto the upholstery of the chair. Rachel panted in an attempt to regain her breath as Quinn stroked her belly.

Quinn swallowed hard, her sticky mouth making it difficult, "We…should have put down a towel," she panted in between kissing the sweet skin of Rachel's neck.

Rachel smiled, closing her eyes and playing with Quinn's hand on her belly, "I don't know about you, but I haven't been able to think for the past forty minutes. I still can't recall where we keep the towels. Can you?"

The blonde huffed a laugh into Rachel's neck as she nuzzled the woman. "Touché."

They were quiet, drifting into satisfied sleep as Rachel still absently played with Quinn's fingers.

"Love you" Quinn muttered to the two on top of her as she slipped away.

For a few days, this was all they had been doing. Quinn would wake up early, make Rachel breakfast in bed, and then they would spend the day lounging, reading, relaxing in the garden, listening to music and making love. They were always within earshot and arm's reach of each other, whenever possible.

Quinn smiled as she regained consciousness, resuming her gentle massaging of Rachel's stomach until the woman stirred. She groaned as her stiff muscles moved again, and stretched like a cat, smirking on top of Quinn as the blonde waited patiently before getting bored and picking her up bridal style. Rachel squealed with delight and laughed as she tightened her arms around the younger woman's neck.

With a wink, Quinn put the woman lightly on her feet again, then put her arms around her waist and leaned in for a kiss, "Mmm, lunch?" the blonde mumbled as they eskimo-kissed, holding each other tight.

"Naked lunch?" Rachel replied with an arched brow. Quinn rolled her eyes and mock-sighed.

"Fine…" She broke into a smile and released the woman in her arms, pausing a second so she could playfully swat the woman's perfect, naked behind.

Deciding that knives, fire and naked butts did not go well together, Quinn quickly grabbed Rachel's shorts and tshirt from the floor, and dressed the shorter woman as she tried to continue making their salad.

She stood behind the brunette and nuzzled the woman's neck, watching her work and contemplating the change in her life; she had gone from a life of loneliness and anger, absent, judgemental parents and superficial friends, and no future prospect of anything different to having a relationship with the most perfect woman she had ever encountered, expecting a child who she would love and adore without question, two friends she could tell anything, and waiting to go to college for something she would love wholeheartedly. If ever anyone wanted to know what happiness was, she was pretty sure her life was it.

Unlike the first time they had holed up together, this time they were both deliriously happy. Rachel couldn't help but imagine that these days filled with endless pleasure would set the tone for their life together. Obviously nothing could be perfect _all the time,_ she had seen that herself during the tumultuous months that they had spent in love with each other, but as she watched on with a smile as Quinn tried and failed to climb the cherry tree in the back yard so they could re-create a Romeo and Juliet scene, pure contentment overwhelmed all of her senses.

Quinn popped up from the ground with messy hair and a smile on her face, walking over to the older woman and announcing "I'll just have to be Romeo then!" as she got on her knees, momentarily distracted by peeling an edge of the brunette's top up and kissing the taut skin there, before she hugged the woman's thighs and smiled up at her face.

She prompted Rachel from "Romeo, Romeo", and the brunette pressed a soft palm to her cheek as they smiled at each other, holding in giggles as they melodramatically performed to one another.

It had become much more common over the past few days to see Quinn's playful side, but later on as Rachel dozed with her head on Quinn's lap and the girl devoured the news at ten, then shut off the TV, leading them both to bed, laying Rachel down and undressing her so she could keep dozing, the older woman smiled in satisfaction, knowing that she and her child would both be taken care of, supported, and encouraged.

Their life would be the very definition of happiness.

_**OK everyone, that's it for now.**_

_**Like I said before, thank you all so much for the comments, encouragement, messages, recommendations and mentions. They've all meant so much to me.**_

_**Be on the lookout for the sequel, Distance/Proximity. It's in a similar vein to this, probably ten or fifteen chapters, maybe a little more angsty, but it'll be full to the brim of love and Faberry feels. Hopefully I'll have the first chapter or two up by the end of next week, so until next time ;)**_


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